Ivy Lane: Winter: (10 page)

He shrugged self-consciously. ‘Most of us swapped. Well, the men anyway. Nigel started it.’

I shook my head. There was I, tearing up strips of paper diligently to make everything completely fair . . . honestly, they were no better than children.

‘He wanted to surprise Liz. Dougie wanted Vicky.’ He swallowed and directed his blue eyes at me. ‘And I wanted you.’

Oh. This was beginning to have an all too familiar ring to it. The wine had made my mouth dry. I licked my lips nervously.

‘But, Charlie—’

He held a hand up and I pressed my lips together and dug my hands into my pockets for warmth.

‘Let’s sit down.’ He gestured towards a bench further along the porch. I took a seat and he sat down heavily beside me.

He exhaled, a long shaky breath, and for the life of me I couldn’t work out what was coming next.

‘So?’ I said eventually. ‘Where’s my Secret Santa present?’

‘I’m coming to that.’ He looked at me and laughed awkwardly. ‘I’ve got a confession to make first. I’m getting the worst bit over with in the hope that you’ll like your present so much that you’ll forgive me.’

I groaned. ‘Oh, Charlie, why does everything have to be so complicated with you?’

‘Please don’t give me that scary teacher look but . . . God, this is hard . . . I’ve got something of yours.’ He hesitated and rubbed a hand over his cropped hair. He was sitting with his knees apart and bouncing on the toes of his right leg, jiggling his thigh; a man in perpetual motion.

‘Look, I might as well just tell you, you already have a pretty low opinion of me anyway.’

‘Charlie, that’s not true . . .’ My voice faded away as I stared at the object he’d pulled out of his pocket.

‘A key?’ I frowned at him. ‘Is that my Secret Santa?’

He bit down on his bottom lip, stared at me with unblinking eyes and shook his head. He reminded me of the little boys in my class when they own up to their latest misdemeanour; in fact, in that moment he reminded me of Ollie, with his big blue eyes and irresistible face.

He looked up to the sky and let out a long breath.

‘It’s the key to your shed.’

I took the long silver key from his hand and as I turned it over in my hand, I simultaneously turned this new fact over in my brain. Charlie had a key to my shed. It didn’t make sense.

‘I had a copy cut just before Easter when you ran off crying because all your seedlings had died.’

I nodded slowly. ‘I remember. You locked my shed for me and gave me the key back on Seedling Swap Sunday. But why make a copy?’

He didn’t answer straight away but delved into his pocket again. Another key appeared.

‘The shop,’ he said in answer to my confused expression.

I shivered, slipped the shed key into my pocket and pulled my coat tighter around my neck.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘You’re freezing. Let me make this quick. But please, Tilly, hear me out and believe me when I say I’m so sorry for everything I’m about to tell you.’

He was really scaring me now and I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins. I was on the verge of making my escape, but he took hold of both of my hands and squeezed them gently.

‘Please?’ he said.

‘OK,’ I whispered hoarsely.

‘Back in the summer, I don’t how it happened but I became a bit . . . obsessed with you.’ He pulled a comical face to lessen the impact of his words and I tried to smile back. I’d more or less guessed that anyway. ‘I’m over it now, though.’

My lips twitched at that.

‘I thought you were perfect, with your beautiful face and cheerful personality. You’re kind and thoughtful and sensitive and,’ he laughed softly, ‘you look so funny on that bike in your helmet and neon safety jacket.’

My eyebrows shot up in indignation. I love that bike.

‘I thought you were the one.’ He sighed. ‘I thought if only you would love me back, I’d be able to move on and finally get over my ex-wife. But when you weren’t interested it sent me a bit crazy.’

He paused and stared at the floor and his thigh started jiggling again. He lowered his voice and I had to strain to hear the next bit.

‘I decided to get your attention. Oh, God.’ He let go of one of my hands and pinched the bridge of his nose and squinted at me with one eye shut. ‘I set that fire in the allotment shop.’

‘Charlie!’ I gasped.

‘I know, I know.’ He hung his head low. ‘I wanted to show you what a hero I was. And I’m ashamed to admit, I wanted to sabotage Aidan’s work. I thought if I ruined the programme he might just go away. What a total idiot. The bloody thing is up for an award now.’

I was speechless. Now I thought about it, he had been running from the shop when I’d seen him. But what an irresponsible thing to do. What if someone had been hurt?

‘Why steal the keys in the first place?’ I croaked.

‘My ex changed the locks after I found out about her affair. I couldn’t get into my own house, or see my own son. I felt helpless, locked out of my own life. So for the last couple of years I’ve had a fixation with keys. If I came across a key. I made a copy. Just in case.’ He shrugged helplessly. ‘It was a control thing. I’m over that, too.’

I swallowed, unsure how to respond. ‘Well, that’s good,’ I muttered.

He stood up and pulled me to my feet. ‘Anyway, you’ll probably never want to speak to me again, let alone want us to be friends. But I had to tell you. And I hope that one day you’ll forgive me for all the stupid things I’ve done. But I’m going to be a better person from now on. To set Ollie a good example. I’m determined to do that. Actually, I was thinking of a sponsored bike ride to raise money for the pavilion or something.’

We stared at each other for a long moment. My teeth started chattering and I shuddered as a sudden cold shiver ran down my back.

‘Look, Charlie, I can’t pretend that I’m comfortable with what you’ve told me. But I’m glad you did. And organizing a fund-raiser is very generous of you.’ I gave him a lopsided smile and held my arms out. He stepped into them and we gave each other a hug.

‘Does that mean we
are
friends?’ he asked.

We rocked from side to side for a few seconds together before I tilted my head back and grinned up at him.

‘If I say yes can I have my present?’

He pulled a torch out of his jacket pocket and handed it to me. ‘Here, take this. Your present is in your shed, it was too big for the table in there.’ He flicked his head towards the pavilion steps.

‘My shed? How big is it exactly?’ I narrowed my eyes. ‘I hope you didn’t go over the ten-pound budget?’

He smiled, leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to my forehead. ‘It cost me a lot more than that, Tilly. Now shush,’ he said, noticing me about to argue. ‘Off you go.’

Had I been thinking clearly, I’d have nipped back and changed these ridiculous high heels for my wellies, I thought belatedly as I picked my way gingerly across the icy tarmac towards plot 16.

Thinking clearly – hah! Chance would be a fine thing. I mean, exactly how many surprises can a person take in one evening? First the shock of hearing Aidan’s name again, then Gemma’s waters breaking, followed closely by Charlie’s confession. This was one Christmas party I was never, ever going to forget.

Lost in my thoughts, I savoured the night-time silence, unbroken except for my crunching footsteps and a solitary ‘hoo-hoo’ as an owl hooted in the distance. I breathed in the frosty air and shoved the torch into my pocket. I didn’t need it; the night was bright enough. I lifted my eyes up to the sky and gasped. Wow! How amazing was that?

No matter how spectacular my display of fairy lights was around the pavilion, it couldn’t begin to compete with the glamour of Mother Nature. The inky night sky stretched out above me, twinkling with stars like chunky diamonds around a slender crescent moon. It was as if the whole galaxy sparkled with Christmas magic.

I sighed happily. I love Christmas. And I was getting a Secret Santa present after all!

Walking on frozen snow whilst gazing heavenwards wasn’t so wonderful, though, and a second later I was brought back down to earth with a bump, almost literally, when I tripped over a large lump of snow at the roadside. I flailed my arms to stop myself from falling and decided to concentrate on the ground instead of the sky.

I wondered what Charlie had bought me?

It was probably something gardening-related like everyone else’s presents, so he’d left it in the shed. I hoped it wasn’t a new spade or fork; I was more than happy with the ones Alf had given to me, the ones Celia had used for so many years. It could be anything, knowing Charlie. I smiled wryly to myself, after what he’d revealed about himself tonight, nothing would shock me any more.

But what I would really love, I thought, as I turned off the road in front of Gemma’s plot and onto the snow-topped grassy path towards my own, although I doubted it would occur to a man to buy them, was some solar-powered fairy lights. Then I could decorate the outside of my shed and have Christmas sparkle all year round.

Now that would be really lovely . . . oh! My thoughts tailed off into oblivion as the shed came into view. There was light coming from inside.

At first, I frowned in confusion and then I clapped my hands with delight. Well, I take that back Charlie! How amazing, he obviously had bought me lights and what’s more he had even strung them up and switched them on.

What a lovely surprise!

I picked up my pace and hurried towards the shed only to freeze a second later as a figure appeared at the window. I stood, dazed, my heart in my mouth, hardly daring to believe what my eyes were telling me. Even though his face was in shadow, I would recognize him anywhere.

The shed door opened and I held my breath as the world according to Tilly Parker tilted on its axis and everything – everything – changed. There in the doorway, illuminated by the golden glow from within, was the man who had wrapped himself irreversibly around my heart.

‘Aidan?’ I whispered, my feet riveted to the spot. My shoes had sunk down into the snow and I was vaguely aware of the cold biting into my toes. But the spark of hope that flickered back to life in my heart sent a rush of warmth around my body, more than making up for the cold.

Aidan’s handsome face broke into a smile and he held his arms out to me. ‘Merry Christmas, Tilly.’

I hesitated, just for a second, aware on some cosmic level that this moment was one of such importance that it shouldn’t be rushed. I gazed at his silhouette framed in the doorway, at the ice crystals on the grass, which sparkled and danced in the moonlight, a carpet of diamonds, perfectly mirroring the stars above. It would only take me a few steps to reach him, but it was possibly the start of a whole new journey.

And then I was laughing and yelling ‘Merry Christmas’ and running straight into those warm strong arms and he was laughing too as he gathered me up and spun me round until I squealed for him to put me down.

My mind was full of questions that were tripping over each other to get to the front of the queue, but for now it was enough that I was in his arms, that the brown eyes that gazed back at me were full of an emotion that I didn’t dare put a name to. Because none of this made any sense.

I’ve missed you, Aidan.

‘I am so happy to see you.’ He buried his face in my hair and hugged me tight, his voice husky and low.

‘What are you doing here?’ I asked, leaning away from him so that I could read his expression.

‘Well, at this precise moment, turning to a block of ice.’ He grinned. ‘But speaking in more general terms, I’m your Secret Santa gift, apparently. Come on inside.’

Still holding me tight, he shuffled backwards until we were inside and then closed the door behind me.

My eyes roamed the shed in disbelief. The light wasn’t coming from fairy lights at all, but candles, dotted around the shelves and on the table. And despite being surrounded by gardening tools and stacks of empty plant pots and half-full bags of compost, there was something intimate and romantic about the setting. In fact, the shed was exactly as I had planned for it to look for my rendezvous with Aidan at Hallowe’en, before Charlie sabotaged my plans.

And now, in a scene that could have come straight from my wildest dreams, we were here again. My heart was beating so wildly that Aidan could probably feel it through his jacket.

I looked up at him. ‘Did you do this?’

He shook his head and laughed self-consciously. ‘All Charlie’s work.’

Charlie had done this? For me? That explained why he’d said it had cost him dearly.

‘He phoned me. Told me the whole story.’

I swallowed and loosened my arms around his neck. ‘When you say the whole story . . .’

I blinked up at him, my voice shaky with fear. Did he know about James? Was that why he had come, to humour Charlie? If Aidan had come back out of pity, then my heart could quite easily crumble into a million pieces and I would be right back to where I was last year: broken and lonely.

He exhaled slowly, lifted a hand from my waist and traced a line down my face with the tip of his finger.

‘About you and him being nothing more than mates.’ He laughed softly. ‘Although he did admit that it wasn’t for want of trying.’

I nodded and felt my face flush. ‘I tried to tell you that.’

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. ‘And to my eternal shame I didn’t listen. I suppose I just thought it was too good to be true that someone like you would be unattached.’

The corners of my mouth lifted. That was exactly how I’d felt about him.

He shrugged apologetically. ‘Ever since Hallowe’en, even though I suspected that there was something going on between you and Charlie, you’ve been in here.’ He took one of my hands and placed it on his chest inside his jacket and I felt the insistent beat of his heart.

‘Then why not call?’ I thought back to the nights I’d sat at home, hoping that he would somehow get in touch. Even though he didn’t have my number, if he’d really wanted to he could have found a way, surely?

‘I wanted to call you. But I felt as if I’d been too pushy, that I’d misread the signals. And I was pretty ashamed about the way I’d acted at Hallowe’en. I should have called straight away after that to say that even if you were spoken for, I’d still like us to be friends.’