Iva Honeysuckle Discovers the World (7 page)

I
va dipped the tip of her spoon in her Cream of Wheat and ate the tiniest possible bite. Her mother
would
fix that awful cereal today of all days.

Her mother banged a plate of toast on the paper-littered table. “Don't let breakfast get cold.”

Arden was slumped over her latest creation, a Johnny Cash–type song called “Uncertain Prison Blues.”

“I can't eat,” she said. “I'm doing hard time in Uncertain Prison.”

“What do you think of this?” Hunter said. She was writing a Nancy Drew mystery,
The Secret of the Haunted Sewer Drain.
“‘The pretty blond detective answered the jangling telephone. “Come at once,” a deep voice cried exultantly.'”

“‘Exultantly'?” Iva jeered. “Do you even know what that means?”

“Who taught that kid to talk?” Arden said. “Okay, my turn.” She began singing. “I hear the bus a'comin'. I know it ain't for me. I'm stuck in this here prison. The sun I'll never see.”

Iva fell over laughing. “‘The sun I'll never see'? You must be kidding!”

Arden punched her on the arm. Iva whacked her back.

“Girls,” their mother warned. “Lily Pearl! Where are you?”

Lily Pearl whirled in, wearing last year's Halloween costume. Her skinny legs stuck out like twigs beneath the too-short purple dress. Green stars glittered on the matching purple cape.

“You are
not
wearing that getup to vacation church school,” Mrs. Honeycutt said. “Go change right this minute.”

“No.” Lily Pearl's bottom lip poked out.

“I'm counting to three. One, two—”

Lily Pearl started to bawl. “These are my bestest clothes!” “Do you want to go to vacation church school or not?” Mrs. Honeycutt said.

Iva wished
she
had thought of putting on a Halloween costume to get out of going to church school.

“Listen, Lily Pearl,” Iva said. “Why don't you leave the cape at home? That way people can see your pretty dress.”

Lily Pearl's tears vanished like water in sand. “Okay, Mama?”

“All right. But don't tell anybody it's a Halloween costume.”

Mrs. Honeycutt set a bowl of Cream of Wheat in front of Lily Pearl. Lily Pearl just twirled her spoon.

“Eat!” her mother said. “No wonder you're no bigger than a bar of soap on wash day.”

The back door opened and Aunt Sissy Two came in with Howard. Howard's white shirt was so bright it hurt Iva's eyes. Comb tracks raked his slicked-back hair.

“Here we are. All ready for church school!” Then Aunt Sissy Two said to Iva's mother, “Howard's over that allergy attack. I don't know what brought it on.”

Iva knew. She thought about tattling on Heaven, but since Yard Sale was at Miz Compton's, there wasn't any point.

“How come Arden and Hunter don't have to go?” she asked.

“Because vacation church school is for babies,” Arden said. She sang in her low-down Johnny Cash voice, “I spend all night a'cryin'. I got the Uncertain Pri-son blues.”

“Go on, Iva. You'll all be late,” her mother said. “Arden, there is no prison in Uncertain.”

Yes, there is, Iva thought. She followed Lily Pearl and Howard outside and headed for the Joyful Noise Temple of Deliverance Church.

The Sunday-school room was stuffy and hot and smelled like old socks. Heaven greeted everyone with a stiff nod. Iva felt as if she were in the principal's office.

Fidgety little kids sat in all but three of the small wooden chairs. Lily Pearl and Howard fought over the chair by the stained-glass window.

Iva turned to Heaven. “I thought more kids our age were coming.”

“Nobody our age signed up but you,” Heaven said, arranging colored pencils next to a stack of dreary-looking worksheets.

“I didn't sign up! Mama signed me up because of you!”

“You're here now. Sit down so we can start.”

Iva flumped down in the last chair. Her knees bumped her chin. She was the biggest one in the class.

Miz Compton breezed into the room with a big smile.

“Good morning,” she said. “Welcome to vacation church school. We're going to have lots of fun today. Heaven, would you pass out the activity sheets?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Heaven handed out papers with an air of grandness that made Iva sick. When Miz Compton wasn't looking, Heaven tossed the last sheet at Iva, then flounced to the front of the room.

The little kids studied their papers as if they were taking a test.

“First, cut out the boy and the wagon,” Miz Compton instructed.

“Then paste them on the middle of your paper. We'll have to share scissors and paste.”

Iva stared at the blurry boy printed on the cheap grainy paper. He looked like he had three eyes. She ripped the paper, using scissors that wouldn't dent melted butter.

“Give me that,” Iva said to Howard, who was eating paste straight from the jar. She swiped sticky paste on the back of the blurry boy and his stupid wagon, and smacked them down with her fist.

“Next, color your pictures,” Miz Compton said brightly.

Heaven doled out colored pencils with a warning not to break them. When she got to Iva, she dropped a single chewed pencil in her lap. Chestnut brown.

“I need more than one,” Iva said, but Heaven was already collecting the scissors.

Iva scribble-scrabbled her picture with the chestnut-brown pencil. She didn't even try to stay inside the lines.

“Heaven has chosen our quote for the day,” Miz Compton said. “
Be a friend, find a friend.
Isn't that wonderful?”

Heaven glowed like the angel in the stained-glass window. Iva was surprised she didn't sprout wings and start playing a harp.

Miz Compton wrote the saying in large, neat letters on the blackboard. The little kids copied the words slowly. Iva noticed Howard made his
f
's and
r
's backward. Lily Pearl drew a witch in a ball gown riding in the wagon.

Iva pressed the tip of her pencil so hard into the paper, it snapped. Leave it to Heaven to pick such a dumb saying. What did
she
know about being a friend? And what did the quote have to do with the picture? Was the wagon the boy's friend?

It was all so dumb. Iva
had
to get out of vacation church school.

“You may take your papers home,” Miz Compton said. “After our snack, we'll have our flannel-board story. Heaven, will you get the board ready?”

Heaven glanced longingly at the wood-framed flannel board. Iva knew Heaven's greatest wish was to have a flannel board of her own.

“But first,” Miz Compton told Heaven, “take everyone to the washroom.”

“Line up by the door,” Heaven ordered the little kids. “We'll be right back all shiny clean!” she trilled to Miz Compton. Then she marched the kids down the hall.

Iva nearly gagged. Her cousin was putting on an act. If only Miz Compton could see Heaven was no angel.

Miz Compton spoke to her. “Iva, would you like to help with the refreshments?”

Iva had an idea. Now was her opportunity to show her best friend that Heaven was a big fat fake.
This
time, Heaven wouldn't get her own way.

“In a minute,” Iva said. “I have to use the restroom, too.”

When Miz Compton went into the little church kitchen, Iva sprang out of her seat. She opened the box of soft flannel figures and dumped them on the desk.

First she slapped a flannel palm tree in the middle of the board. Grabbing a handful of people, she stuck them on the palm tree. Zacchaeus the tax collector. Moses. The Three Wise Men. Noah. Joseph wearing his coat of many colors.

Then Iva added all the animals from Noah's ark. She snickered as she put a lion on Moses's head. The Three Wise Men were being attacked by an alligator.

Flannel figures covered the board to the edges of the wooden frame. With a dab of paste, Iva glued a few Pharisees and Philistines to the frame for good measure.

When she heard Lily Pearl's shrill voice, Iva dashed into the kitchen, where Miz Compton was pouring Hawaiian Punch into paper cups.

“There you are,” Miz Compton said. “Will you take the cookies in?”

“Sure.” Iva picked up the platter and carried it into the classroom. Miz Compton followed with the tray of Hawaiian Punch.

Heaven stood in front of the flannel board. One of the flannel Philistines hung limply from her fingers. The little kids skittered around her, nervous as chipmunks.

“Look!” Heaven cried.

Miz Compton set the tray on her desk and stared at the flannel board. “Goodness gracious! Who would do such a thing?”

“Yeah, who?” Iva said, pretending to sound shocked.

“It wasn't me,” Heaven said. “I was with the kids in the bathroom.”

“Not the whole time,” Lily Pearl piped up. “Remember? Howard and James went in by themselves.”

“I saw Heaven in here a minute ago,” Iva said to Miz Compton. “Before the kids came back.” She made her eyes round with innocence.

“You
lie
!” Heaven screeched.

“A skunk smells himself first.” Iva snuck a couple of cookies. Getting Heaven into trouble was giving her an appetite.

“Who are you calling a skunk, you rat!”

“Heaven and Iva,” Miz Compton said sternly. “There is no cause for that talk.”

“Iva's jealous because I'm your assistant,” Heaven said. “She's trying to get me fired from my job!”

“Oh, shut up about your stupid job.”

Miz Compton turned to Iva. Her voice was soft but firm. “Iva, apologize to Heaven.”

“Why?
She
messed up the flannel board!”

“
Iva
.”

Iva blinked back a sudden welling of tears. Her trick hadn't worked. “I won't apologize to her, not in a million years!”

“I don't think your attitude is right for church school,” Miz Compton said. “Maybe you should go home.”

There was nothing else to say. Iva glared at Heaven, who was removing the flannel people and animals and laying them tenderly on the desk.