It's My Life
Authors: Melody Carlson
Praise for Melody Carlson's
Diary of a Teenage Girl, Caitlin Book 2:
It's My Life
“Melody has done it again! Teens won't be able to resist Caitlin's latest diary. Teens will identify and laugh with Caitlin and gain spiritual insight from this fresh glimpse into the heart of a very real teenage girl.”
H
EATHER
K
OPP, AUTHOR OF
L
OVE
S
TORIES
G
OD
T
OLD AND
I S
TOLE
G
OD FROM
G
OODY
T
WO
-S
HOES
“This book inspired me to persevere through all my hardships and struggles, and it also brought me to the reality that even through my flaws, God can make Himself known in a powerful, life-changing way.”
M
EGHAN
M
C
A
ULAY
, 14-
YEAR-OLD REVIEWER
“I definitely recommend It's My Life to teens. Even if you haven't read the first book, it's very easy to pick up what's going on. I was surprised at how easily I could relate my own life to Caitlin's. I really got involved with the book. I could hardly put it down!”
H
EATHER
S
CHWARZBURG
, 16-
YEAR-OLD REVIEWER
“What an awesome way to convey what teenagers are faced with in today's world.
It's My Life
captures the expressions and feelings every teenager may face and the inner struggles they battle as they try to find a solution. A must-read not only for teens but adults too.”
K
ORINA
M
OYER, YOUTH STAFF VOLUNTEER
Diary of a Teenage Girl, Caitlin Book I:
Becoming Me
“From the first page,
Diary
captured me. I couldn't stop reading! This is a brilliant, well-crafted imaginary journey to the heart of a sixteen-year-old. I can't wait for the sequel!”
R
OBIN
J
ONES
G
UNN
, B
ESTSELLING AUTHOR OF
T
HE
G
LENBROOKE
S
ERIES
, T
HE
C
HRISTY
M
ILLER
S
ERIES, AND
T
HE
S
IERRA
J
ENSEN
S
ERIES
“As I read
Diary
…I felt as if I had been given a gift–a ‘backstage pass’ into the life and heart of Caitlin O'Conner. It is a wonderful and mysterious ride as we are allowed a rare chance to travel alongside a teenage girl as she lives in the real world. This is a unique and refreshing read–fun and entertaining, while at the same time moving and insightful. Read and learn.”
G
EOFF
M
OORE, CONTEMPORARY
C
HRISTIAN RECORDING ARTIST
“Creative and impactful!
Diary
drew me in as my concern for Caitlin and her friends grew stronger each page I turned. It gave me the inside story to issues I see in my own life–and among my friends and peers. I recommend this book to every teenage girl going through the struggles of peer pressure, dating, and other temptations we face in life.”
D
ANAE
J
ACOBSON
, 16-
YEAR-OLD REVIEWER
“Melody Carlson writes with the clear, crisp voice of today's adolescent.
Diary of a Teenage Girl
is sure to please any teenager who is struggling with peer pressure, identity, and a desire to know and understand God's will. A moving, tender story that will be remembered…and loved.”
A
NGELA
E
LWELL
H
UNT, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF
T
HE
I
MMORTAL AND
M
Y
L
IFE AS A
M
IDDLE
S
CHOOL
M
OM
“Melody Carlson captures the voice of teens today in a character we can all relate to. The unique peer perspective makes it very effective. Integrating the crucial message of the gospel, it forces us to weigh issues and causes us to look at a young person–in reality, ourselves–objectively. It challenges, convicts, and leaves us with hope for the future. I highly recommend this book.”
A
NGELA
A
LCORN, COLLEGE STUDENT, COAUTHOR OF
P
RINCE
I
SHBANE'S
L
ETTERS, AND DAUGHTER OF
R
ANDY
A
LCORN, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF
D
EADLINE
, D
OMINION, AND
L
ORD
F
OULGRIN'S
L
ETTERS
“Carlson succeeds in weaving Christian beliefs into the plot with a light hand–and it's a darn good read!”
NAPRA R
EVIEW
S
ERVICE
“As a teacher I found
Diary
to be a realistic look into the lives of Caitlin O'Conner and her friends. This book is dynamic, challenging, and fun!”
J
AMI
L
YN
W
EBER, MOTHER AND FORMER HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER
Friday, July 13 (I'm back…)
Is it just me
or is this world going totally nuts?
Okay, before I get carried away, let me first say how good it feels to pick up a pen and write in my diary again. I thought I wanted to take a little break from writing in my diary during the summer–you know how it gets with work and sunshine and fun stuff to do. Anyway, I somehow imagined I was too busy to keep writing about my life. Big mistake, Caitlin! The thing is, I
need
to write about my life. Like, it sort of clears out my heard or something–makes things more understandable. Almost like praying, but not quite the same.
Anyway, back to the world going totally nuts. Or is it me? You see, I've been working at my dad's advertising firm (actually I'm just a part-time receptionist, and not doing such a bad job if I do say so myself). But lately it seems like all these older guys have been hitting on me. Okay, now I know that sounds all narcissistic (a word I just read in a magazine, which means you think the whole world revolves around you, which I don't really think, by
the way). But I don't think I'm imagining it either. I mean, Todd Alberts (who's probably at least twenty-five) even asked me if I wanted to go get coffee with him today. Now, it's not that I'm not flattered (because, believe me, I am!). But sheesh, I'm only sixteen (well, almost seventeen) for Pete's sake! But in Todd's defense, I doubt that he even knows my age, and he's probably just being friendly. And I'm sure if he knew I was still in high school he'd run the other way–and fast. But here's the honest truth–it feels pretty good to be noticed like that. And yet at the same time, it bugs me that it feels good. You know, like I should be above those sorts of feelings. Especially after making my vow to God about sex and dating. It's like I just wish those feelings (you know, feeling interested in a cute guy) would all just go away, once and for all. But they don't. So why is that?
Well, to make a long story short, I nicely told Todd thanks but no thanks (not in those exact words!). And now I feel kind of bad because he actually looked sort of hurt and disappointed. But maybe someone in the corporation will set him straight about me and how old guys like him shouldn't go around hitting on high school girls. Big laugh!
But now that I've vented over something pretty unimportant, let me get to what's really bugging me. It's Beanie Jacobs, my
supposedly
best friend. I say
supposedly
because lately she's been treating me like I've got smallpox or something. I mean, every single time I call her to invite her to go do something, she makes some totally
lame excuse not to come. Okay, I know she's pregnant and not feeling too cool lately, but it's not like it's
my
fault, and all I'm trying to do is to be the good friend that I've promised her I would be.
Like tonight, for instance, I just wanted someone to hang with. You know, go to the mall or something simple like that, and she says, “Sorry, I can't.” Just like that. Not even an explanation, apology–nada, nothing. Well, instead of me grilling her like I usually do, I just said, “Well, fine!” and hung up–bam! Which, to tell the truth, left me feeling pretty rotten inside. Because I know she doesn't need that from me or anyone else right now.
But, I ask you, how far backwards is a person supposed to bend for her these days? I mean, it's not like she's a whole lot of fun to be with right now. And now she's all worried about putting on weight and getting fat, which, if you ask me, she should've considered before she got all hot and heavy with Zach last spring! Okay, there I go getting all preachy and judgmental again. And Beanie accuses me of doing that a lot lately. In fact, she even sarcastically calls me “Sister Caitlin” sometimes, which totally fries me!
So anyway, I called up Andrea LeMarsh, after being turned down by Beanie, and we went to the mall and hung out and had a really fun time (at least when I wasn't feeling guilty about Beanie). Andrea and I both got these totally cool Hawaiian print bikinis–and we imagined ourselves wearing them on some sandy beach in Mexico next month when the youth group goes on their
missions trip. (Okay, I know we're primarily going there to help poor people and stuff, but we plan to have some fun along the way too!) But the whole time we're shopping and joking around and having a great time, I'm thinking how fun it would be if
Andrea
were my best friend instead of Beanie. And just thinking those kind of thoughts makes me feel really, really low. Because I
do
know that despite Beanie's prickly disposition of late, she really does love me, deep down, and she needs me too.
So, here's my struggle: Just because my best friend has totally messed up her life by getting pregnant, does this mean I must also sacrifice
my
summer,
my
fun,
my
life just to hang with her while she's being all depressed and glum and tired? I mean, I do believe in loyalty and I'd never stop loving Beanie or caring for her. But what I want to know is: Is it really
my
responsibility to see her through this whole pregnancy thing? Good grief, it lasts nine months (practically a lifetime in teen years!). And quite frankly, the idea of hanging with a girlfriend who's obviously starting to look pretty pregnant (not to mention how she never seems to care about her appearance anymore!) is starting to wear on me.
Well, now it's plain to see what a rotten, selfish, low-down (and yes, I'm sure, narcissistic) person I truly am. But isn't this my life too? Don't I have the right to do what I want? To hang with whomever I please? I mean,
it's my life
!!!
And yet, I know (deep down inside of me, someplace where I want to just plug my ears and cover my eyes
sometimes) that this is definitely NOT what Jesus would do. I know, good and well, He would NOT treat His friends like that. Sheesh, He wouldn't even treat His enemies like that. And I can just imagine what Clay would say to me right now. In fact, I still vividly remember that time (just a couple weeks before he was shot and killed) when he told our youth group about how he wanted us to love one another like Jesus did, by putting each other above ourselves. And sure, it might sound nice and easy, but let me tell you, it's really not.
Oh, crud, I still have soooo much to learn about being a Christian.
DEAR GOD, IT SEEMS I'LL NEVER GET THIS RIGHT. ONE MINUTE I THINK I'M DOING PRETTY WELL, AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW I'M HAVING TOTALLY SELFISH AND SHALLOW THOUGHTS. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR ME TO
REALLY
CHANGE?
We had another car wash today (to earn more money for our Mexico trip). And naturally I didn't even bother to invite Beanie since she's made it perfectly clear that “no way, no how” is she going with us down to Mexico in August. Not that I blame her. I doubt I'd want to go either if I were in her shoes. So anyway, not wanting to bother Beanie, I called Andrea and then drove over and
picked her up in my freshly washed car (no need to waste the youth group's time on it!), and we headed over to the minimall where we'd prearranged to hold the wash.