It's Like Candy (40 page)

When they walked into the bare room, they noticed a scrawny-looking woman balled up in the corner, shivering as if she was cold. The room was padded all around, with a small bed against the wall; it had an eerie feel to it, and had a strange odor.

Starr and River stared at their mother, Sheryl, and were speechless. Time and aging had not been good to her. She was so thin that her flesh looked as if it shriveled around her bones. Her fingers were long and gaunt, her hair was dirty and in disarray. The constant drug use, especially the abuse of heroin, had deranged Sheryl so much that she was no longer able to take care of herself. She wore an adult diaper, and mumbled incoherent statements and just stayed balled up in the corner with her knees pressed against her chest. It was hard to look at her.

“That can't be her,” River muttered. For River, this was not the same woman who had tormented her years ago. She looked so weak and defenseless.

Starr stared at Sheryl with so much resentment, and thought karma must be real. Because of her mother, her life was hell. Starr had no words to say at first. The sight of her mother in such a horrible condition was too disturbing and appalling. She didn't know whether to smile or cringe.

“She's been here for two years,” the nurse informed them. “We were trying to locate her family, but to no avail. Cops found her in a back alley one night, high and naked. She tried to attack one of the officers with a syringe.”

Ms. Henderson was sad at the decline of her sister-in-law. She hugged her nieces tightly.

“I'll give you some time alone with her,” the nurse said before she left the room.

“Sheryl,” Ms. Henderson called out. “These are your daughters. Do you remember your daughters?”

Sheryl remained in the same position and glanced at the trio. Her mind was gone.

“I brought them here so you could see them again. You have two beautiful daughters, and they came to see you,” Ms. Henderson said, approaching closer to Sheryl.

River was the next to approach. She came close to her mother and squatted down at eye level with her, peering at her mother's appalling features. Sheryl's hands shook as if she had Parkinson's disease. Ms. Henderson had brought the sisters so that they could pay their mother one last visit and forgive her. River reached out and gently took her mother's thin hand into hers. It was hard for River to for-give, but she wanted to close this chapter of her life and move on. She held on to her mother and then gave her a hug. “I forgive you, Mama. I do. I moved on. I've met someone, and he's great. We started off shaky, but I know everything will work out fine between us. We're gonna move with Daddy down South. I know you still love him, Mama, right? But Mama, why did you hurt us like that? I know it was the drugs. I know you wasn't yourself, and it's okay, I've learned to forgive you and move on. I still love you,” River proclaimed. She then gave her mother a long hug.

For Starr it wasn't so easy. That anger, that contempt for her mother was still rooted in her heart. It was hard to forgive and forget. She felt reluctant to move forward. Ms. Henderson grabbed her hand and said a few encouraging words to her. Starr nodded and stepped forward.

Starr stood over her mother and she knew she needed to get what was hurting her off her chest. “I always hated you. Because of you, my life was hell. You made Daddy go away. You made men come into my room and forced me to have sex with them. I was only twelve, Mama, and you never once tried to protect me from them. Every-thing to you was always about money and sex . . . everything!” she
shouted. “You were an evil woman. I was a prostitute, Mama. I al-ways used what you told me. I sold my pussy for money, because you always told me that was the one thing that was gonna make me rich. I was raped, beaten, and did unthinkable things. I walked the streets every night tryin' to make my life rich. But you know what, Mama, I am rich. I have River back in my life, and now I found Aunt Diana, and she's been more of a mother to me than you ever were. We're leaving you, Mama. I always wanted you to burn in hell for all the sins you committed against me, River, and Daddy. But I look at you now and see you suffering in this place, alone, and I know you al-ready lost everything. You probably don't even remember me. But I will not become you. I will not hate you. Because you and the trials and tribulations I endured living with you and on the streets made me stronger, and made me become a better person. So when the day comes, when I do have children, I will know how to love them and my husband with everything I have, and do the opposite of what you did to your family.”

After her speech, Starr had tears streaming down her face as she gawked at her mother. She could no longer go on. Ms. Henderson walked over to her and hugged and consoled the tearful Starr and told her she did the right thing.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry,” Sheryl meekly chanted continuously as she rocked back and forth, shaking and twitching, staring past Starr at the wall. It sounded like an apology, but a little incoherent. The girls didn't know if it was coming from her heart or if she was just chanting gibberish. But for River and Starr, it was good enough. They felt better for having confronted their past, and they were both able to move on.

They left with Ms. Henderson, and the door closed on their men-tally disabled mother. The next road for them was 1-95 toward North Carolina.

Eric stood outside the hospital next to a Ford Explorer. When the girls came out, he hugged River and then Starr, and asked how
everything went. They felt sure of themselves and knew it was time to move on.

Ms. Henderson and the girls got into the Explorer; River was the last to get in. She turned to look at the hospital and said a small prayer for her mother. It was funny how her life had turned out. She felt everything happened for a reason, and she knew it was meant to be. She was so happy with Eric and she couldn't wait to reunite with her father. They'd been separated for so long that anxiety was eating away at her.

Hours later, they crossed the Verrazano Bridge into Staten Island and everyone knew that from then on, New York would be nothing but a memory to them.