It's In His Heart (A Red River Valley Novel) (28 page)

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The photo album swooshed from her hands and smacked the floor. Ella stared at him open-mouthed. Then the luscious strips of pink flesh that formed a perfect O thinned into a frown, and her eyes burned like hot coals.

A few pictures had shaken loose when the album hit the cement slab flooring. Ella bent over to gather them up. When she stood upright again, her green eyes had turned darker and looked ready to unleash a thousand fiery darts right at his chest.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She clutched the album to her chest like it was a precious treasure. And he supposed it was.

That was the problem. He knew he loved her when they’d visited Aguas Rojas. Even though he hadn’t told her, he still knew, and it scared him. Bradley was a great guy. The best. A good husband, would’ve been a great dad if he’d had the chance. An icon that Coop couldn’t compete with. Wouldn’t even try. And after he spoke to his mother, he had to admit to himself that that was his biggest fear of all. Not that Ella would let him down, because she wasn’t that kind of woman. She stayed with Bradley through it all; she was loyal and good to him. And Coop knew that once she gave her heart to
him
, she’d do the same. She had done as much when she believed him, saw through his bullshit to his core and knew he wasn’t a criminal. She’d given him her trust when all of his friends and colleagues back in Albuquerque had turned their backs on him. The ones he’d thought Bradley was an idiot to trade in for Ella. Turns out, Coop was the idiot, and Bradley knew exactly what he was doing.

Case in point—Bradley was a terrific guy, and Coop didn’t hold a candle to him.

He was scared that he wouldn’t ever measure up to Bradley. And as soon as Ella figured that out, she would grow tired of him. It wouldn’t take long for Ella’s superior intelligence to kick in. Coop could see that day coming in the not-so-distant future, and finally understood just how far out of his league Ella really was.

“You’re here to talk about kids that we’re never going to have together?”

“I—”

Ella cut him off.

“Well, let me tell you something, Cooper Wells.” She clamped one hand to a curvy hip. The other clutched Bradley’s photos so tight her knuckles turned white. Her face glowed crimson with anger. Still, in the fitted black leggings, black UGG boots, and long-sleeved Under Armour shirt that fit her like a second skin, he wanted her. She was gorgeous. And she belonged with him, even if he was just figuring that out. Coop had to confess, he’d been pretty slow on the uptake when it came to women, but Ella loved him. She’d said so when she thought he was asleep. He took a step closer to her, because if he could just pull her hair loose from that ponytail and run his fingers through it, taste her tongue with his, she’d stop being angry with him.

Right?

She held up a hand and glared at him. “Don’t you take another step closer. I wanted kids. More than anything. With Bradley. Because, you’re right.” Her words clipped out, quickly gaining momentum. “He would’ve been a great dad. Loyal, trustworthy, there when the kids needed him and always there for me, even if I were wrong or made a mistake. But you wouldn’t know anything about any of those things, would you, Coop?”

He eased another step closer.

“Do you have any idea what it was like watching him die a little more each day? Watching the real Bradley disappear until he was just an empty shell who didn’t even resemble the man I married? No, you don’t, because you weren’t around. And you know what? I got over you not being there, because Bradley never held it against you. That’s just the kind of guy he was. So I figured if he could understand and forgive you, then I could, too. And you know what else?”

Another step.

“Maybe I was even a little jealous that you didn’t have to be there, watching it all happen the way I did. Because it was so hard, so hard that I wanted to run away some days and pretend that I’d never met Bradley Dennings.” Her body started to tremble, her voice shook, and angry tears pooled in her eyes. “And then I’d get out these photos and sink into overwhelming guilt over having those thoughts about him.”

Another step. She was just out of arm’s reach, and the flowery soap she’d used in the shower this morning teased his senses, spiked his desire. She smelled fresh, like a summer breeze, and he wanted to fold her in his arms right there in the basement where they’d kissed for the first time so many years ago.

“That’s why I escaped into those novels. They were a release for me. And not in a sexual way. They were an escape into a fantasy world of things I’d never had the courage to do. Writing those stories and creating those characters became my salvation. They saved me from the depression that was suffocating me and robbing me of my desire to live.”

He took one more step, and he could touch her if he just reached out.

“So don’t expect me to apologize for what I had to do to survive. I’m sorry that I hurt you, and even sorrier that I may have made your troubles worse. But I didn’t want to have the same regrets with you that I had with Bradley. So I tried to actually
live
a few of those fantasies with you, because I didn’t know where the future would lead us—”

And then he was kissing her, because, really, it seemed the only way to shut the woman up. His mouth moved over hers, tasting and exploring. And for a brief moment she was kissing him back, threading her fingers through his hair, something she loved to do every time they were together. That small sexy sound she made whenever they kissed escaped and he pulled her tight against him. Then the moment was gone, and she tensed, pulling out of his embrace.

It wasn’t the first time a member of the female persuasion tried to slap his face. Her hand rose high in the air, but as it came down, he grabbed her wrist in midair. Their eyes locked, angry tears spilling over and streaking down her face.

“I love you, too,” Coop said.

Ella’s forehead wrinkled as she tried to process his words. “Huh?”

“I love you, too,” he repeated, still holding her wrist.

“
‘Too’? I never said I loved you.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Uh,
no.
I didn’t.”

He nodded. “On your birthday, after we got back to the cabin. We made love, and when you thought I was asleep, you said it.” His eyes raked over her face, her flame-throwing eyes, her hardened jaw. Her full lips that begged for a deep, hard kiss. “I love you, too, but I can never be the kind of man Bradley was. I lived and he didn’t.” It was bold and harsh, but it was true. “You said it yourself at Aguas Rojas. We both loved him, and he would want us to move on. But I don’t think either one of us has completely let him go. Can you do that, Ella? Can you really let him go? Or will I always feel like a cheap imitation of the real thing?”

A flicker of something dark raced through Ella’s eyes, and he waited for a response. Slowly, she pulled her wrist from his grasp and took a step back.

With a fury that rocked him to the core, she breathed out a whisper. “Get. Out.”

“You sure you want to stay here?” Ross asked later that night as they slid into a booth at Joe’s. “We can go somewhere else, if you’re uncomfortable.”

Ella shook her head, her eyes bouncing quickly to the bar where Coop was working the evening shift, then back to Ross. “Nope. I’m good.”

Coop’s look had turned to stone when Ella walked in with Ross, and it had pricked her heart.

Miranda sauntered over to their table, handing out their usual drinks without waiting for them to order. Her thick black hair slid around her shoulders like a bolt of silky fabric. “Hey, you two. Out on a date?”

“Just friends,” they said simultaneously and laughed.

“You two make a cute couple. I think you should call it a date.” She raised a silky black brow.

“I know you want Coop to suffer a little, but I wouldn’t use Ross that way. He’s been too good a friend.”

“I wouldn’t mind being used.” Ross shrugged playfully. “Probably be kind of fun.”

Ella laughed. “Let’s just keep it friendly, okay? I need friends more than I need a boyfriend right now.”

“Sorry, buddy,” Miranda said to Ross. “I tried.”

Ross and Ella ordered, and Miranda walked toward the kitchen with a slinky saunter.

Donna stormed in and stalked toward them. She slid into the booth next to Ross, pushing him against the wall.

“Sure, have a seat,” Ross said.

Donna ignored him. “Can you believe it? Hank has threatened to leave me if I don’t stop reading your books. Says he’s tired of being used like a sex toy. I mean, really? What straight man in his right mind wouldn’t want his wife reading your books? After every chapter, I give him the best sex a guy could ask for. Only that’s the problem. He doesn’t ask for it, and he acts like it’s an imposition for him.”

Ross slammed down half his mug of beer in one large gulp.

“Um, Donna, maybe we should talk about this later.” Ella gave Ross an apologetic look.

Donna plowed on without missing a beat. “I mean, come on! Our sex life was always good, in an ordinary, okay sort of way, but now it’s soooo good I can’t wait for him to get home every night after work.”

Ross downed another huge gulp.

Lorenda walked up with her kids, but redirected them across the restaurant when she picked up the gist of the conversation. “Sorry, guys. Got to keep it G-rated tonight.” She pointed to her two boys, who strolled to a table on the other side of Joe’s.

Ella nodded at Lorenda and returned her attention to Donna. “Maybe that’s the problem, Donna. I mean, those books are fiction. They’re not real-life stories about real-life people.” Well, okay. Some of it was based on real life, which was precisely the reason her own love life was in shambles. “Maybe you should dial it down a little. You know, give Hank time to catch up with you.”

“Yeah, I think you might be scaring the poor guy. Just go a little slower, and eventually I’m sure he’ll see the uh . . . fun in it all.” Ross turned a little pink across the cheeks.

Andy and Brianna walked in holding hands. “You two want to join us?” Donna asked as they strolled past.

“No, we’re on a date tonight,” said Brianna.

“Yeah, we’re on chapter eight.” Andy winked at Ella. “Thanks, Violet.”

She laughed. “Sure thing, buddy. What are friends for?”

Brianna and Andy found a spot for two in a secluded corner and held hands across the table.

“See?” huffed Donna. “They look like new lovebirds that just started dating. Why can’t Hank get with the program?”

Ella shrugged. “Men can be numbskulls.” She glanced at Ross. “No offense, bud.”

“None taken,” he said and took another swig of beer.

And speak of the devil—Hank walked in, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He was dressed to kill in a new pair of finely starched and pressed jeans, a western shirt, and a black Stetson. He walked toward them sporting a determined look.

“Uh, Donna.” Ella nodded in Hank’s direction.

When Donna glanced over her shoulder, she stood and faced him, her mouth hanging open. Her hands went to her hips.

“Uh-oh,” Ross said.

But instead of berating Hank, Donna threw her arms around his neck and all but screamed, “They’re beautiful, Hank!”

“They’re not for you,” Hank said, with his trademark bland expression and monotone voice. “They’re for her.” His eyes still locked on to his wife, he thrust the bouquet at Ella.

“Uh, thanks?” Ella slowly reached out to take the bouquet, afraid she might draw back a nub by the glower on Donna’s face.

“No,” Hank said. “Thank
you
, Ella.” He glanced at her with a strange look. “Or Violet . . . or whatever your name is.” Then his eyes grew
husky with lust as they latched on to his wife again. “Thank you for what you’ve done for our marriage.”

A lilt of feminine “awws” circled the room.

“I’ve been an ass, Donna. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course, you handsome man, you,” Donna said. “But what changed your mind?”

One side of Hank’s mouth curved into a smile. “I read chapter three.”