It's Complicated (2 page)

     
I burst out in
laughter. There we were having a sentimental moment and all he could think
about was my brother killing him.

     
Jake and I did end
up dating. And surprisingly things didn’t get complicated. Not at first anyway.
He ended up going to junior college so he could stay close by his parents, and
me of course. I came to find out quickly that college girls are way more aggressive
than high school girls. Especially when it came to athletes. I think Jake
started to feel himself after he was offered an opportunity to play pro ball
overseas. There was this one particular chick, the coach’s daughter, who was
always around. At practices, after the games, team outings. I mean this girl
was everywhere and she was always in Jake’s face. I don’t fight over no dude,
but, chick was asking for it.
 
Jake
insisted that it was completely innocent. I wasn’t buying that crap one bit.
Jake did end up accepting the offer and going overseas. The plan was to get
established and then send for me. Didn’t quite work out like that though. We
kept in touch for a good three weeks and then no communication at all. I guess
Mr. Boykin got too big for the little people back home.

     
I continued to work
for my dad, took my real estate exam and have been grinding ever since. I
wasn’t into dating anyone after that because I felt like I couldn’t trust
anybody. If my best friend could turn on me like that, then how loyal could a
perfect stranger be. That was my logic until the day I met my fiancé.

2

     
Darrin and I met
while I was on a business trip in Florida. To pass some time while I was there,
I attended a real estate conference which was our first encounter. I wasn’t all
that into him at first, but, something about him intrigued me. I decided to
give him a chance. Now, don’t get me wrong, he was very handsome and his body.
Yeah, it was nice. The funny thing about our meeting was that we lived in the
same city and had never crossed paths.

     
We talked on the
phone for the most part. Even though I was interested in getting to know him, I
still had my guard up. I finally agreed to let him take me out. I figured that
I should go ahead and get it over because there was no need in us wasting each
other’s time. I like seafood so we made arrangements to meet at Red Lobster. I
arrived early because I wanted to see what kind of car he was driving. Call me
shallow, but, hey, it is what it is. I pulled into a parking space close to the
door and as I was getting out I noticed someone walking towards me. It was
Darrin. He opened the door for me and assisted me out of the car. I didn’t know
if he was trying to get points but he was definitely on the right track.

     
We were in there
for hours just talking. I hardly even ate and that’s not like me. The waitress
had to ask us to leave because they were ready to close and we were the only
customers still in there. I hadn’t felt that connected to anyone in a while. He
walked me to my car, opened the door, and helped me in. He even waited in
parking lot until I pulled off to make sure I got out okay. I looked back in my
rearview mirror just in time to see what he was driving. Black on black Camaro.
It was nice and it fit him well.

     
On the ride home
all I could think about was Darrin and how good our dinner went. Just as I
pulled into my garage I received a text message from him that read, ‘It’s too
late to call, but, I wanted to tell you goodnight. Text back please to let me know
you got this and you’re ok’.
 
Good
conversation and he’s considerate. I was hooked.
 
I didn’t think I could fall for anyone again
after what happened with me and Jake. I had a good feeling about Darrin. I felt
like it could work. It didn’t seem forced. Still I didn’t know if I was ready
for a real commitment. It didn’t take long for me to make up my mind given the
fact that he proposed six months later.
 

     
His little brother
was graduating from High School and he decided to have a barbeque for him. All
of our family and friends came. It was nice. It was actually the first
gathering that we’d had with both families. Everyone got along as if they’d
known each other for years. I was in the kitchen seasoning some meat for Dee to
put on the grill when his mom walked in.

“You know”, she started out, “Darrin ain’t never done nothing
like this. Doing stuff for the family like. He come ‘round when we have stuff
but he don’t invite nobody to his house for nothing. I’d like to think it has
something to do with you. Ever since he met you he been doing a lot of stuff he
never did before. My baby is enjoying life for a change and in a good way.
Thank you for what you doing for him. He done dated plenty women, now, but it’s
something special about you. He like you”.

     
I couldn’t respond
because I didn’t want to start crying in the middle of the kitchen, so I just
hugged her. As she was walking back outside, Darrin came in for the meat. He
smiled, kissed me on my nose and went right back outside. Little did she know,
I liked him too. In fact, I was in love with him and I couldn’t imagine being
with anybody else.

     
The party ended and
Darrin had just walked the last guest to the door. I changed out of my shorts
into an old sundress that I left over there one time before. All the leftovers
were packed neatly and put into the refrigerator, and I was just about done
loading the dishwasher.

“You don’t have to do that, baby”, he said walking into the
kitchen.

“You know I’m not gonna leave this mess for you to clean by
yourself, sir”, I replied.

“Who said you were leaving”?

“I have a hair appointment at five in the morning, on the
other side of town and seeing to the fact that you’re not gonna get up that
early on a Saturday, I think I’ll be leaving”.

“But what if I don’t want you to go”, he said as he wrapped
his arms around me from behind. “I’ll be back when I’m done. Plus, you promised
me a movie date anyway”.

     
He leaned his head
around, looked directly into my eyes and said, “I don’t want you to go
Kamerai”. I knew then that I wasn’t going anywhere. “You look cute in your lil
old lady dress too”, he chuckled, “Gone get in the shower, you staying with me
tonight”. I put down the dish towel, went upstairs and got into the shower. I
was tired and I didn’t feel like driving way back on the other side of town
anyway. I had fallen asleep by the time Darrin came to bed. He pulled me close
to him and as I laid my head on his chest he said, “So, tell me, what would you
say if I asked you to marry me?” At first I thought I was dreaming but just to
be sure I asked him to repeat himself.
 

“I said, what would you say if I asked you to marry me?”

“I’d say Hell Yeah!!”, I replied thinking he was joking.

     
He reached under my
pillow and pulled out a teal green box with a pretty white bow and said,
“Kamerai Jai Lawson, will you marry me”?

“Huh”, I replied, trying to gather my thoughts.

“See. You said you’d never lie to me and you just lied. You
said that if I asked you to marry me you’d say ‘hell yeah’. Huh sounds nothing
like hell yeah”

“Hell Yeah I’ll marry you”, I managed to get out through my
tears.

     
I can’t exactly
tell you everything that happened that night, but, I definitely didn’t make
that hair appointment or my movie date for that matter.

     
Yeah, that was an
awesome night. I’m getting goosebumps now just thinking about it. I was really
looking forward to marrying him next month, but, with everything that’s going
on now, that doesn’t seem too likely. Some things are just too good to be true.

3

     
Sitting in my
office, minding my own business, when my dad comes in and says he had some
exciting news. He received a call from a potential client with a scouting
agency in New York. They wanted us to help them expand their brand
internationally. All I’d have to do was go to New York for a few days, meet
with the CEO and seal the deal. I was good at sealing the deal. It was crazy
because the client asked for me by name. I should have known then that
something wasn’t right. Dad was talking like the check had already been signed,
but, until it hit the bank there was still work to do.

     
I agreed to go, for
one, it was New York City and two, it came with a pretty hefty commission. In
other words, a paid shopping trip. There was one catch though. I’d have to
leave the very next day. Darrin and I had planned to go to New Orleans for some
last minute wedding stuff. But, duty calls. It ended up working out perfectly
because he had to work as well. Darrin owns his own real estate company and
ended up having to change the date of his closing. He couldn’t miss that
closing because he had worked too hard on that deal; and not to mention it was
a million-dollar sale.

     
I took the first
flight out the next morning completely blind to what I was about to walk into.
I arrived at my hotel at about 9:00 a.m. My meeting was at noon so I had time
to get myself together and rest before going in. I didn’t know who this person
was, but, they sure knew how to treat a lady. They put me in the presidential
suite at the
Ritz Carlton
. As I stepped
into the room, I was greeted with smell of French vanilla candles burning,
fresh white roses throughout, and a teal green box with a white bow on the bed.
Everything was so beautiful, and the view was impeccable. The receptionist
called to let me know that my ride would be to pick me up at 11:30 a.m. for my
lunch meeting.

     
I walked over to
the bed and opened the box which held a cute little charm bracelet, similar to
one I had as a child. There wasn’t a note in it, but the only person who bought
me Tiffany’s was Darrin so I just assumed it was from him.

     
The car showed up
at 11:30 a.m. on the dot. A silver Rolls Royce with suicide doors and the words
BJ
Enterprises
imprinted on the side. The driver was a tall Caucasian
gentleman with a nametag that read, Joseph and the same words from the car
printed on it. He opened the door for me, helped me get in and we were off. He
didn’t talk much, which was good because it gave me a chance to meditate before
my meeting. We pulled up to this tall building with lots of windows in the
middle of Manhattan. The inside of the building was like something out of a
magazine. The floors looked like you could eat off of them. Everyone was so
neatly dressed, poised and polite. There was a huge waterfall in the center of
the lobby with water that looked it had been stolen from Caribbean. And the
smell. It was like breathing for the first time. Whoever was in charge had
definitely thought this out and covered every single detail.

     
The secretary came
down to the lobby to greet me and escort me to our meeting place. As we neared
the office, I began to feel uneasy. I shook it off because I was determined to
get the account. She led me to a large office on the west end of the building
on the tenth floor. She opened the door and announced my presence to a tall,
bald gentleman standing at the window with his hands in his pocket, looking
down at the street. Strange man. He never even acknowledged my presence. This,
of course, did nothing for my nerves. His office was just as amazing as the
lobby. The smell of lavender filled the room. It was relaxing. Not a scent that
I’d normally pick for an office, but, to each its own. There was a large glass
trophy case just to the right of the door. It was filled with all kinds of
plaques and awards. The curtains were drawn which allowed the sunlight to flow
freely throughout the room. I sat my briefcase down on the small conference
table to my left. There were two dark gray leather chairs (that looked more
like living room furniture than office furniture) positioned in front of his
large, espresso colored desk. The office had a warm feel to it; besides the
rude gentleman standing on the other side of the room.

“Hello”, I said to him attempting to break the ice.

“Did you like the bracelet”? he asked

“Oh, so you sent the bracelet. Yes, it was nice; thanks. I
actually had one like it when I was a kid”.

“Yeah, I know”.

The voice started to sound familiar, but, I was unsure because
I hadn’t heard it in a while.

“You still look as beautiful as the day I first met you”, he
said as he turned around to face me. He was all grown up with; full beard and
all, but, if I knew nothing else, I knew those eyes.
 

“Jake”, I sighed, “Jacob Boykin. BJ Enterprises. How in the
hell could I have been so naïve? Is this some kind of joke to you? The
bracelet. How could I be so stupid”.

“Yeah, I remember I gave it to you for your twelfth birthday
and somebody stole it out of your locker at P.E. It’s been a long time Kammie”.

“Don’t call me Kammie. Don’t ever call me Kammie again. You
lost that privilege a long time ago. Like, what the hell Jake? I haven’t spoken
to you in what, twelve years, and you bring me up here on a bum business trip,
for what?”

“First off, this business is real. I needed sombody to help me
expand my brand and according to my research you’re the best person for the
job. Secondly, yes we haven’t spoken in years, but let’s not go pointing any
fingers. I distinctly remember the plan being that I was supposed to get
settled and then send for you, but little did I know, you were out here living
foul. Did you think I wasn’t gonna find out?”

“What are you talking about? I was faithful to you from day
one. You were the one with the hoe issues, remember”?

“Come on Kam. A picture is worth a thousand words and this
right here tells it all”.

He hands me a picture of myself and Hershel, a guy I dated all
but two weeks my sophomore year in high school. We were walking out of the
abortion clinic. He had his arms around me, consoling me.

“So I guess this picture of you and your ex coming out of the
clinic is nothing huh”, he starts back, “So, you get pregnant by this dude then
get an abortion to try to cover it up and I’m the hoe. That’s messed up Kam. I
would have never expected something like that from you. I wanted to kill him
knowing he got you pregnant and then made you get an abortion. I know he made
you do it ‘cause you don’t believe in abortions, so it had to be him. Only a
coward would make a woman do something like that”.

“So, that’s what you think happened. That’s the thousand words
that you got out of this picture? It’s obvious that you didn’t know me then and
you definitely don’t know me now. What you see in this picture is a friend
consoling me after I found out that I was actually pregnant. I took five tests
at home and after each one I was still in doubt. His aunt worked there and
agreed to let me come in to get the test. I didn’t want to go to my doctor
because I was still on my dad’s insurance and I didn’t want him to find out. In
this picture I was so out of it because I didn’t know how I was going to tell
my dad and most importantly, I was scared that it would mess up what we, you
and I, were trying to do. When I finally got up the nerve to call you, your
chick from all the basketball games answered the phone. How ironic that she
ended up in Brazil with you and was even answering your phone. She said that
you were on restriction and wanted her to give me the message. I guess you’ve
been on restriction all this time because this is the first I’ve heard from you
since. I called you and left several messages but no answer. I even emailed
you. So, if anybody is a coward BJ it’s you”.

     
Jake leaned back
against his desk seemingly startled by this new information. He stared into the
sky for a moment. It took a while for him to say anything.

“Wait. So, what you’re telling me is, because you couldn’t get
in touch with me you took it upon yourself to kill my baby. Our baby? You
killed our baby, Kamerai? Why would you do that”, he yelled.

“I tried calling you. I left you messages. I tried everything
that I could think of to get in touch with you. You cut me off, remember?
Instead of talking to me like a man, you let somebody put in your head that I
was a whore and you ran with it. I thought that we were better than that Jake.
And no I didn’t kill your baby. I had a miscarriage. The doctor said it was
because I was under too much stress”.

“I should’ve known that girl was foul. You told me she was
foul. She’s the one who gave me the picture. That’s why I didn’t return your
calls. I thought you were trying to play me. I had just signed a big contract,
for more money than I had ever seen in my life. I guess I was scared. I
should’ve known better than that. You always had my back. I’m sorry Kammie. I’m
so sorry. I’m sorry you went through that and it was all my fault. I caused you
to lose our child. Man, I love you Kam. I never stopped loving you. My life has
been hell without you.”

     
I realized that I
had been holding in that bitterness for all those years. That’s why I had a
wall up. I started bawling like a new born baby; nose running and all. Jake
pulled me in to him like he did when we were kids and all of those feelings
came right back. He kissed me on the forehead and wrapped me in his arms. It
was such a familiar place. I lost myself in that moment. I closed my eyes and
embraced what was happening. I felt safe with him. I felt secure. “I lost you
once, Kammie, I’m not losing you again”, he whispered in my ear.

     
And then I
remembered that I was engaged. I slowly lifted my head, wiped my eyes and
walked over to the conference table on the other side of the office.

“I’m engaged, Jake. My wedding is next month”, I told him as I
gathered my things, realizing that I needed to get out of there and fast.

“Engaged”, he responded, “Well, you’re not married so.”

“Don’t even try it. I’m engaged and I’ll be married in a few
weeks. What we had was good but it’s in the past. I have a whole new life now.
I can’t just throw that away. Darrin and I are building a life together and
that’s where I wanna be”.

“That’s bull Kammie and you know it. We’re meant to be
together. It was fate that brought us back together like this.”

“No! It was you being deceitful that brought us back together
like this. I gotta go Jake. I can’t work on this account. I’ll let my dad know
everything that happened”.

     
I didn’t wait to
hear his response. I walked out of the door, went down to the lobby and had the
receptionist call the driver. He took me back to the hotel and I planned to
leave on the first thing smoking. There wasn’t a flight out until the next
morning so I’d have to wait. I needed to tell Darrin what happened but there
was no way that I could tell him over the phone, so, when I talked to him that
night, I pretended like everything was just fine. After getting off the phone
with him, I laid in the bed and just cried. Yes, I missed Jake and yes, I still
loved him, but, I was in love with Darrin and I wanted to marry him. Just as I
was starting to fall asleep, there was a knock at the door. To my unsurprise (I
made that up), it was Jake.

     
I let him in and we
sat on the sofa and talked. It felt like old times. He confided in me about
some of the things he encountered while playing overseas. Drugs, alcohol abuse,
sleeping with multiple women, waking up not knowing what he had done the night
before. He said it was his way of dealing with our breakup. He hadn’t been in a
committed relationship since he and I dated and was not looking for one until
he ran across my picture on the internet (insert side eye). He wanted to reach
out and this was the only way he figured he could get to me. He was right,
because, had I know from the beginning that this was him I would have said no
without question.

     
He looked at me
with those eyes and told me how sorry he was for hurting me and that if I was
happy that he would have to respect it and move on. Those damn eyes. He reached
in to hug me and that was it. His scent took me back to that blue chaise sofa
in his bedroom. I guess it did something for him too because I felt his little
man pressing against my thigh. Then he began kissing my neck. I tried to push
him away, but, I was too weak. Mesmerized by his touch and those damn eyes. It
was my first time all over again.

“You want me to stop”, he whispered in my ear.

I was speechless.

“I love you Kammie”, he said as he pressed himself inside of
me.

I was lost in the moment. Nothing else mattered. I knew then
that this was going to be harder to get rid of him than I expected. They say
everyone has that one person that they will always go back to no matter what.
Well, he was mine. He was my kryptonite. He took me places sexually that no one
else did. It was so much more than just a physical connection. I couldn’t
explain it; I just knew it was something else. Maybe we were meant to be. I
gripped his bare back and pulled him in closer. I could hear his heart beat and
it was like music to my ears. He lifted me off the sofa and carried me into the
bedroom. I happened to glance at him as he laid me on the bed and noticed
‘Kammie’ tattooed on his forearm. It was then that I realized, he wasn’t gonna
let me go without a fight. He meant it when he said about me not being married
yet and him still having a chance. He wanted me and was willing to do whatever
he had to do to get me.