It's Always Been You (32 page)

“My man inside tells me that Zorin has his buyers lined up. He’s also done a background check so there will be no delay in receiving the funds. The auction site will be on neutral ground. Hungary.”

“Why Hungary?”

“Think, Travis. The most likely section of the Carpathian Mountains that holds the plutonium cache would be Ukraine. At about the time the Soviet Union collapsed, hundreds of tons of the material disappeared. There are only three people who know where this particular stash is. Two of them are dead, one has amnesia.”

“If she does this, will you leave us alone?”

Porter regarded him impassively.

“Goddamnit,” Travis cursed and stood up.

“I will. But, Blake, she may need a job after you let her go.”

“I’ll never let her go,” Travis growled. “If you have doubts about my commitment to her . . .” He stepped forward and said with all the determination he was feeling. “Get this. I—am—marrying—her—again. So you can take your duplicitous face elsewhere and leave us alone.”

“Fine. Let’s talk about betrayal for a minute,” Porter opened his side drawer and pulled out a manila envelope. He tossed it at Travis.
 

“What’s this?” Travis asked warily. His fingers were on the envelope, but fear froze his entire body because he had a feeling things were never going to be the same again if he opened the brown pouch.

“I’ve made it no secret to Caitlin that I don’t trust her. My loyalties are to you,” Porter said. “Despite everything that has gone down, you were almost like a son to me, Travis. I helped you get Caitlin back, and yes, I used her. But she used to be in the CIA and a damn good hacker. I was willing to give her back her job. I never thought you two would last because she had betrayed you from the start.”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Travis pulled out the contents. And what he saw could never be unseen.
 

The first one was of John Cooper, reclined on a parked bike. Caitlin was draped on top of him. They were kissing. The other pictures were less incriminating, but there was no doubt that they were lovers in the picture.

Travis’s chest grew tight. “I—I—knew they’d been together. This doesn’t change anything. I’ve gotten over it.” He had. But the impact of these pictures were still a punch in the gut.

“Yes. You knew about Europe. Look closely, Travis. Behind the bike is a diner and on the sign it says Richmond, VA. The date of the photo is stamped on the back.”

Travis mechanically did as he was told. The date. It was a year before they were married. Sarah told him John Cooper had always been a platonic friend. She lied. Did that change anything? His mind and heart couldn’t answer.

“Why do you have these pictures? For all I know, these photos were forged. Technology has a way of screwing up marriages,” Travis sneered.

“The man who took those photographs is retired. From what I’ve managed to get out of him, he was monitoring the activities of some agents that were suspected moles. Obviously, Cooper and Sarah were later proven innocent,” the admiral sighed. “He has more pictures. They were taken during the time she was married to you.”

“You lie!” Travis was shaking from a tempest of emotions—fury, despair, and betrayal—as his world crumbled around him. “Why are you doing this?” he roared.
 

Footsteps rushed into the study. “Everything all right, Admiral?”

Travis stared up the ceiling, the sting behind his eyes threatening to reduce him to a heap of broken man.
 

“I’m fine, Crowe.”

Porter took out another piece of paper and handed it to him. “That’s the address of the guy in Virginia Beach. Like I said, he’s retired. After a life of spying on spies, he’s a bit paranoid. You can’t get him online. He’s a trusted friend of mine, and I told him he may be expecting a visit from you.”

Travis shook his head, still reeling from disbelief. “This doesn’t change anything.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“I love her.”

“You don’t seem too sure, Travis.”

“I—love—her!” Travis gritted through his teeth, and he did. That would never change. But something died inside him.

“You owe it to yourself to find out the truth,” Porter said. “Have those pictures looked at by forensics. I already have. If it still doesn’t matter, then go ahead and marry her.”

“Don’t expect to be invited to the wedding.”

Porter winced, but inclined his head. The admiral motioned to the laptop bag sitting on his desk.
 

“When do you need the Carpathian coordinates?” Travis asked.

“Anytime within the next three weeks.”

“I’ll call you.” Travis grabbed the manila envelope, the contact information, and the laptop, and walked out.

*****

Caitlin was worried. Travis didn’t come home last night after his visit with Porter. Nate assured her that Travis had called him, and he was okay, but he had things to do for Porter that couldn’t wait. The look on Nate’s face worried her, and she couldn’t help thinking that Nate was not telling her everything.

Why didn’t Travis call her?

At around 10:00 a.m., a car finally pulled up. Caitlin ignored Sam’s holler and threw the door open, and was taken aback. Travis stood there so devastatingly handsome, yet achingly broken.
 

What happened?

His eyes were bloodshot, and as he approached, he reeked of cheap whiskey. He was looking at her with so much longing and . . . pain?

What was going on?

“Travis?” She smiled tentatively. He bent down and kissed the top of her head then walked past her into the house. He said something to Nate who nodded and took off from the house. Emily was out on an errand, so the only other remaining person in the house was Sam.
 

Travis never glanced her way again. He handed Sam a laptop bag and just headed straight to their room. Caitlin followed him, wanting to scream in frustration.

“Will you please tell me what’s going on?” she snapped. “What did Porter say?”

“It’s a legitimate op, Caitlin,” Travis said as he went to the closet to pull out an overnight bag.
Wait. Where is he going?

“What are you doing?”

Travis didn’t answer her, but continued explaining about the Hephaestus-Carpathian files.

“And you believe him? That he wants to end that murderous, arms-dealing Zorin?”

“What choice do I have, Cat?” His eyes finally met hers. “If I say no, they’d probably just grab you. If it’s for greed, have no doubt that I will crucify Porter. I don’t give a damn if he’s CIA. I’ve made enough connections to bring him down if he’s dirty. But all signs are pointing to the fact that he’s got the support of the intelligence committee.”

“So what now?”

“I’ll call him when you’re ready.”

“I don’t know when I’m going to be ready. Our moral compasses are pointing in opposing directions. This is not a decision I can make lightly.”

“I know, Cat. But good men caught in this op are going to die if we delay any longer.”

“How sure are we that they’d be able to prevent Iran and North Korea from getting their hands on these?”

“They’ve planned this op for three years. And I know how Porter operates. They’ll manage it.”

“I’d probably feel better if Porter said they were destroying them. Will the International Atomic Energy Agency ever be informed about this plutonium cache?”

A muscle worked in Travis’s jaw. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I want to know,” Caitlin retorted. “Can’t believe you didn’t ask him this pertinent question. I’m not about to sign over a blank check for plutonium without an IAEA oversight.”

Travis looked chastised, exhaled deeply, then strode to the dresser and pulled out some clothes.
 

“Why are you packing and where are you going? And why in the hell can’t you look at me.”

He froze, mid-packing, staring at the white shirt he had in a death grip. He cursed and threw the shirt in the bag and grabbed the manila envelope he had with him and handed it to her.

Confused, Caitlin dug her fingers into the pouch and gasped when she saw its contents.

“Oh, my God!” And then angrily, she said, “Who gave you this?”

Travis cleared his throat. “Porter.”

“I don’t understand. Why is he trying to drive us apart?”

“I told him I wanted to marry you. He thought I needed all the facts.”

Caitlin had a love-hate relationship with Porter, and right now, it was fully on the hate side. “Are you telling me Jase is still a problem between us? I thought we’d gotten past this, Travis. Look, I probably should have told you sooner, but Jase and I were behaving more like roommates three months before Berlin. He’d been planning to leave me for some time.”

Travis completely stilled. A play of emotions crossed his face. Suddenly, his features hardened, and he continued packing. “Those pictures were from before we were married.”

“Wait, you told me that I told you, Jase and I were just friends.”

“That’s correct. Obviously, you lied.”

“Oh, no . . . no . . . no . . .” Caitlin said furiously. Walking those few steps to squarely plant herself into Travis’s space, she stood on tiptoes and snarled at him, “You don’t get to accuse me of things I don’t remember. That’s a low blow, and you know it.”

“Convenient, don’t you think?” Travis sneered. “All you have to say is you don’t remember, and
poof
, all your sins are gone. Forgotten.”

“It’s not a convenience!” Caitlin yelled. “Do you know how horrifying it is that the sum of my memories is three years of my life?”

Travis’s jaw worked convulsively as he continued to shove things into his overnight bag.
 

“So what? Now you’re moving out?” Caitlin said. “Let me do us all a favor. Why don’t I move out?” She stalked into the closet and pulled out her backpack. She should just leave with what she came in with.

“You’re not moving the fuck out!” Travis growled. He yanked the backpack from her and threw it back into the closet. “I’m not moving out. I just need to make a quick trip.”

“To where?”

“Caitlin—”

“To where, Travis?”

He stared at a spot on the floor as he spoke. “Virginia Beach. The man who took those pictures.”

“Have you ever heard about Photoshop, Travis?”

“I had them tested by a forensic lab this morning. They haven’t been tampered with.” His voice sounded defeated and when he looked up at her, so were his eyes.

“Why do you have to see him?”

“Porter said he had more—”

“I’m going to kick Porter in his balls when I see him,” Caitlin muttered. “Wait. Why do you have to see more?”

“I have to know, Cat.” His voice was hoarse.

Her heart squeezed tight. It was for the agony in his voice, the desolation. But also because what they’d shared this past few weeks wasn’t enough. She realized that now. She dreaded what he had to know. She asked anyway, “What more do you have to know?”

“If you cheated on me while we were married.”

Just like that, all the oxygen seemed to have been sucked out of the room, and her heart shattered into a million pieces. A wounded cry echoed in the room. It was hers. Her face must have crumpled in despair for panic flashed across Travis’s face as he moved to her and tried to gather her in his arms.

Fury and extreme hurt made her reject him.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” Caitlin screamed at him. “Don’t you dare!”

“Babe, I’ll love you no matter what,” Travis said raggedly. “I just need closure. I find out, I’ll deal with it. Then move forward. I promise.”

Caitlin emitted a short scornful laugh. “Don’t you see, Trav? There’s no moving forward. You’ll never get over Jase Locke. He’ll always come between us. I was just too stupid to see that.”

“That’s not true,” Travis stated resolutely. “I love you too much. Just give me this.”

“Travis, if I did cheat on you while we were married, are you really saying that you can get over it? Trust the person I am now, Travis. I will never do that to you.”

“You never told me you worked for the CIA either. We were married for two years, Cat. When did you think you were going to tell me?”

“I don’t know.” They said an injury to the brain like hers could change one’s personality. Was she a cheating, lying bitch before? Oh, God.
 

“I hate you,” Caitlin whispered.

“Cat, babe. No.” Travis’s voice sounded so broken. He took another step toward her, the sheer anguish on his face almost causing her to regret her words. Almost.

“I hate you for making me fall in love with you, for making me trust you. Then you turn around and break my heart and make me doubt the person I had been before all this. So, yes, before I could even say I love you,” she drew in a ragged breath. “I hate you, Travis. I wish you never found me. I wish I remained dead to you. Because this hurt I’m feeling right now? It’s not worth it. You made me hope and have dreams, only to yank it from under me and slap me for my sins in a past that I don’t even remember.”

Travis finally got a hold of her shoulders, gripping her tightly, he shook her. “You’re not listening, babe. I don’t care. I just need to know. Then we move forward. I’m in love with you. That will never change.”

“You can’t say that,” Caitlin said tonelessly. “Betrayal of a marriage is hard to get over. I know I won’t. The trust will never be the same.”

“It will, babe,” Travis said gently. “We’ll make it so.”

Caitlin crossed her arms and twisted to get out of his grip. “You’re flying to Virginia Beach?”

“Yes.”

“You get on that plane, Travis. We’re done.”

“Cat.”

“I’m gone.”

“Not letting you leave,” he growled.

“I’m not talking about physically, Travis.” Caitlin felt dead inside. “In my heart. I’ll be done and gone. I’m not letting you back in.”

She walked out and slowly closed the door behind her.

And only then did she allow the tears to fall.

*****

In my heart. I’ll be done and gone.

Caitlin’s words haunted every stretch and every mile of road that brought him closer to Reagan Airport.

Was he doing the right thing? Did he really need to see this guy? To know if Caitlin/Sarah cheated on him while they were married. He would make it up to her. He could win her back again. He didn’t care if it took him an eternity to make her fall in love with him.