It's Always Been You (12 page)

“Don’t be crude! God!” Caitlin threw up her arms in frustration.

“I’m done waiting for you to come around, so let me clue you in, Cat,” Travis said. “I’ve tasted you again, and, babe, it’s fucking sweet. Not living without that again even for a single second. You’ll be waking up in my bed, every morning with me wrapped around you. You may also find me with my dick inside you or with my mouth on your pussy—”
 

Oh, my God, I’m having another orgasm
, Caitlin thought.

“—I decide how to wake you up, and I promise you’ll love it.”

Well, she did tell Dr. Lester she wanted Travis to show her his true colors, and it appeared she had gotten her wish. So why was she all frigging tongue-tied right now? Because his proximity affected her so much, and she was finding it an effort to even breathe. Unable to speak, she let her eyes do the talking, shooting sparks of defiance at him.
 

One dark brow quirked up in amusement. He was laughing at her?

She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and said, “This Neanderthal act won’t work with me. Good night!”

And with her chin jutting out, she stomped toward the staircase. At the bottom of the landing, she bent to unstrap her sandals. When she managed to take both of them off, she found herself suddenly upside down, moving up the stairs, and staring at a very nice masculine ass.
 

He did not just toss her over his shoulder!

 
“What the hell are you doing?” Her voice came out shriller than she wanted.

Travis just grunted a response and before long she found herself thrown on a bed with over two-hundred-pounds of pure sex-on-a-stick falling on top of her. She could be underhanded too and yanked his hair viciously.

He growled deep in his throat, circled her wrists with his hands, and slammed them on either side of her head.

“Stop fighting,” he ordered.

She raised her head and screeched into his face. “No!”

She caught a glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes before he blocked her vision when his lips came crashing down on hers. Before he could shove his tongue into her mouth, she bit him. Travis cursed as she wiggled underneath him. She was only too aware of the growing bulge rubbing against her thighs.

She shouldn’t be so freaking aroused. Was he right when he said she liked it rough?

“You still play dirty,” he rasped. He released her hands and immediately sought the delta between her legs. “But so can . . . fuck, babe, you’re soaked.” He tore her underwear off and slipped his fingers inside her. “Your pussy’s saying yes.” He placed open mouth kisses down her jaw before returning to her lips, obviously not caring if she bit him again. Her mouth opened to allow entry to his tongue. He groaned into her mouth and deepened the kiss while his fingers stroked a particularly sensitive spot in her core, the sensations suddenly coalescing into an unbearable pulsing. She wanted him. She opened her legs further, rubbing herself against his hardness. It wasn’t enough.
 

She started fumbling for his belt buckle and his zipper. He lifted his head and said hoarsely, “Are you sure? I wasn’t going to—”

“Yes . . . I need you, Travis.”

Finally, his erection sprang free. His face was unreadable as he backed away slightly. Oh, Lord. He was huge—long and thick—his stiff phallus veined and pulsing fiercely in her hand. He wrapped her legs higher around him, flattening her on her back. She lost hold of him. She felt him roll the head of his cock along the folds of her sex, coating himself with her moisture in preparation to enter her.

She tingled in anticipation, the breaching head of his shaft stretching her, until suddenly, she froze. He was bareback.

“Wait!”
 

“Caitlin,” his voice was strangled. “You’re killing me, babe.”

“Condom.”

He stilled and stared at her intently. “I’m clean. I swear.”

“I am too, but I’m not on birth control.”

She could have imagined it, but a possessive gleam entered his eyes. She didn’t like it.

“It’s fine. We’ll take care of it.” He resumed pushing in.

What the hell? What did he mean?
That he was going to pull out or he would spill into her anyway. Either thought had no appeal to her. He was not the one who would be carrying a baby for nine months. Freaking Neanderthal.

“Travis!” Caitlin hissed, squirming her hips away from him.

He sighed and muttered, “Fuck.” Then he rolled off her on his back. He raised an arm and rested the back of his hand over his forehead.
 

“Nothing will make me happier, you know,” he said after a few minutes. “We’d been planning to start a family.”

Caitlin scrambled off the bed, grabbing her torn underwear and huffed when she realized it was ruined. “That’s your plan with Sarah. Not me. I wasn’t privy to your plans with her for having a child. I don’t think I’m the maternal type.”

Something snapped in him as he shot off the bed, furiously tucking himself back in his pants. “Guess what, Caitlin? You are Sarah and Sarah is you. Believe me, I’ve tried so hard to wrap my head around it and it’s driving me insane. So yes, probably it’s not fair for me to push this dream we’ve made together on you because you don’t remember. I’m sick and tired of tiptoeing around you, afraid I might hurt your feelings because I might say something that was only a memory between me and Sarah—who
is
you. I swear I want to move forward only with you. With you, Caitlin.” His face was tormented when he choked out, “But you insist on making this a fucking nightmare every single time. I can’t fucking take it anymore.”

“So living with me is a nightmare?” Caitlin couldn’t breathe because an excruciating pain gripped her chest.

Travis stared at her, his lips thinning grimly. He shook his head and said, “Fuck this.”

He left her standing there and slammed out of the bedroom.
 

Caitlin stared numbly at the shut door, unable to process what Travis had said.
 

Fucking nightmare.

I can’t fucking take it anymore.

Fuck this.

The tears came and she gulped back a racking sob. She ran back to her own room and locked herself in the bathroom. She started crying hard. Nobody wanted her. Jase left her. And only after two weeks, Travis had given up on her when he hadn’t for three years. She could never compare to who she was before. She stared at herself in the mirror. She was scarred in more ways than one.
 

She couldn’t sleep with his smell all over her. So she started the shower and stayed under its punishing heated spray until her skin was scraped of every essence of him. Afterward, she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep.

*****

Ben Porter was already waiting for her when Caitlin walked into the NEST offices at 10:00 a.m. It seemed her schedule that day was about to change.
 

“I figured we’d start early,” Porter told her smoothly. “That way your mind is fresh.” He frowned at her. “You looked like you haven’t slept well.”

“Too much to drink last night,” Caitlin lied. She didn’t sleep until 3:00 a.m. She heard Travis open her door at around midnight, but he didn’t come into her room. She’d felt his eyes drilling into her in the dark. She held her breath until she heard the door close, and his quiet footfalls faded back into his room.

“Everything well between you and Blake?”

“Same old. Same old,” Caitlin muttered.

“He needs his wife back.”

“I’m not Sarah.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Porter replied evenly. “You mean everything to him, Caitlin. I hope you’re not too blind to recognize that fact.”

“I think you’re wrong there. He said I was a nightmare to live with.”

Porter frowned. “He said those exact words?”

Caitlin fidgeted in her seat. “No. Not exactly.” Damn. Maybe she twisted his words a bit too conveniently.

“Blake was pissed that I went behind his back. He said he’d find a way to come up with the hundred million if that would keep you out of CIA hands.”

Her gut fell from under her. “He said that?”

Porter nodded. “So you see, my dear, I don’t think I’m wrong about him.”

Oh, God. She had been such a bitch to him. So unfair. Caitlin felt nauseous with guilt. She would make it up to him tonight. She hoped she wasn’t too late. The sooner she got out of here, the better she could prepare a special evening for them.

She turned on her laptop and swiveled it to face Porter. “Your files.”

The look on Porter’s face was priceless. The normally serious expression he wore was shocked beyond description. For all his asshole behavior to her, it was rewarding enough to witness this.

“You broke the encryption?” he rasped.

“Yes.” Caitlin grinned cheekily.

“When?”

“Last night. Just when Travis came home.”

“He didn’t mention this to me.”

“He didn’t want you to ruin our evening.”

“You seemed to have done a fine job of that yourself,” the admiral replied dryly.

Arggh!
She could never get in the last word with him.

“The password on one of the files sounded oddly familiar.”

Porter leaned in curiously. “Which one?”

“Hephaestus.”

“What about it?”

“I feel like it’s connected with another file.”

“Not the ones holding the Russian bank accounts?”

Caitlin shook her head. “Not sure.”

Porter handed her a flash drive. “This is your second assignment. You can load it on your laptop.”

“You’re such a slave driver.”

The admiral stood up and smiled. “You’re a smart girl, Ms. Kincaid. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

As it turned out, the brain spectrometer technician didn’t show up for work that day, so Caitlin was saved from an hour of what she called brainwash torture. She was happy to go home early and excited to see Travis. Her session with Dr. Lester went smoothly. Caitlin admitted that the little tidbit that Porter had told her about Travis’s willingness to pay the hundred million himself was huge and erased any doubt in her mind about his motives with her. And she finally came to terms with something about herself: she was indeed a pain in the ass.

Sam was waiting for her in the reception area, surprised to see her leave early.

“All done?”

“Yup. Can you take me to the grocery?”

“No problem.”

They got into the elevator. Sam looked at her with a sly smile. “Not planning to burn another roast, are you?”

Caitlin laughed and gave Sam a playful punch. “Your confidence in my cooking skills is gratifying.”

The young man chuckled. “Don’t worry, Caitlin. I won’t tell Mr. Blake.”

Their car was once again parked near the elevator banks. She felt Sam stiffen beside her when they approached their car. Four men were walking toward them. Their eyes intensely concentrated on her and Sam.

“Sam—” she started nervously, adrenalin started to pump into her system.

“Tamp it down, Caitlin.” So Travis had warned him.

“But you need my help.”

“You can’t identify friend from foe.” Ah, yes, there was that one problem.

The men got closer and stopped a few feet from them.

The tallest and meanest looking of them addressed Sam. “Give us the girl, and we’ll let you live.” One of them flashed his firearm to stress their point.

“You don’t want to make her mad,” Sam nodded to Caitlin.

A stocky but shorter goon stepped forward and said, “You don’t want to make me mad either.”

Another one like her and Jase? What was going on?

If Sam was stiff before, he was rock solid now. They were outnumbered, especially with her being a wildcard. She didn’t want Sam to die because Komarov wanted his money.

“I’ll go with you,” Caitlin announced, stepping in front of Sam.

“What? Damn it, Caitlin!” Sam yanked her arm and deposited her behind him. “Run back to the NEST. I’ll hold them off.”

“Are you nuts?” Caitlin hissed. They didn’t have much time; her veins were popping with energy.

The elevator dinged and two strangers stepped out. They froze when they saw the standoff.

The taller of Komarov’s goons, wary they might make a run back into the elevator, signaled for his men to strike. The other two went for Sam; the stockier guy went after her.
 

All hell broke loose.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Travis couldn’t concentrate on the staff meeting. His thoughts kept replaying the events from the night before. He was at the end of his rope, not knowing what to do with Caitlin. Everything he said to her, she’d twist into something ugly. Although, admittedly he shouldn’t have used the word
nightmare
to her, but he didn’t mean living with her was a nightmare, damn it. How could she take his words that way when a life with her was all he’d ever craved? And that was what pissed him off enough to leave the room last night. Yes, he was angry. He was so desperate to tie her to him; he wanted to get her pregnant.
Jesus
.
Who does that?

Him. He wanted a child with her.

Fuck. What a mess.

“Blake?” Shephard’s voice broke through his thoughts.

“What? Sorry, what was the question?”

Shephard sighed and glanced at Nate who was also frowning at Travis. Emily and two other team managers were also in attendance. “Were you even listening, man?”

“Sorry,” Travis muttered.

“We were talking about the Kennedy account. It looks like things are going well, and they’re already talking about contracting with us full-time for the rest of the year.”

“That’s awesome.” Travis forced a smile.

A phone beeped somewhere and Emily stared at her cell phone. “Someone’s at the reception area. I am not aware of any appointments today.”

Emily left the conference room to check who had entered the front office.

“Still not going well between you and Caitlin?” Nate asked.

“Seriously, Reece, you’re bringing this up at a staff meeting?” Travis snapped. His personal life was his business.

“Yes. You’ve been distracted, and it’s affecting your work,” Nate shot back.

Before the situation deteriorated further, Emily came back, pale as a white sheet. Two Metropolitan police officers were behind her.