It's a Love Thing (26 page)

An understanding smile dawned across
Jenner’s face, his dull brown irises suddenly twinkling with light.
“Yes.”

“
Oh.” Why in the world was
she blushing? Emily cleared her throat. “I feel I must warn you
that she may be very . . . depressed . . . when she returns, after
being so near Dex, even for such a brief time.”

Jenner nodded. “It’s okay. I
understand. I don’t love Sera like that,” he looked up, a sort of
panicked look crossing his expression. “Yet. Not yet
anyway.”

Emily chuckled. “Don’t feel bad,
Jenner. You can’t get banished for not having a deep romantic
passion for your companion. It’s possible you may never feel that
way for Sera. If that happens, you two will simply find different
companions.”

Jenner blushed. “Of course.” His eyes
lingered on Emily’s face, making her self-conscious. “Do you have a
companion . . . I mean, I’ve never seen you with
anyone.”

Emily swallowed. “Um . . . no, not
really.”

Jenner laughed awkwardly. “Meaning
yes, there is someone, at least for you.”

Emily looked at her food, studying it
intensely. “He’s assigned to the Sanctuary team.”

“
I thought Elysians almost
always worked with their companions. It’s my impression that your
people place a very high value on the connections between
companions.” Jenner frowned.

Something stuck in Emily’s throat.
“Cast requested to work with Sanctuary. And he’s not my
companion.”

The deep, red hue returned to Jenner’s
face. “Oh. That’s obviously none of my business. Seems dumb,
though, to me. For him to want to be apart from you.”

It was Emily’s turn to laugh
awkwardly. “Thank you, Jenner.” She cleared her throat. “I’m young
by Elysian standards. It’s not unusual that neither I nor Cast have
made a commitment.”

“
Right. Of course.” Jenner
poked at his peas again, scattering them across the table this
time. He ignored them and smiled up at Emily, looking as though he
was trying to regain his confidence. “Let me know if you need any
help overseeing Sera and Elspeth Ronan’s cases. The Arrivals Center
has been slow lately.” He grimaced at what that meant. Too many
people dying too quickly for them to intervene in the last few
weeks.

“
Certainly. I’m sure I
could use it.” She tapped Sera’s file and winked. “Are you up for
having to physically separate Sera from Elspeth’s body?”

*****

It surprised Sera how much the walk
from the car down the boardwalk to the lake shore exhausted
Elspeth’s waning body. Sera swallowed back fear. She’d pushed it
too hard. The Guides would be monitoring her. If it looked like
Elspeth’s body would give out before the end of the week, they’d
take her.

She didn’t try to talk right away. At
first she just watched Dex, who stared out at the distant shore of
the other side of the lake. He seemed oblivious to her, or at least
he didn’t comment on her staring at him. When her eyes felt heavy,
she closed them, just to rest a moment. She listened to the gentle
lapping of the water at the legs of their lounge chairs, took deep
breaths of clean-smelling air. And fell asleep.

Dex’s voice startled her awake. “I
thought you’d spend every minute here trying to convince me to
change my evil ways.”

Sera opened her eyes and saw he’d
turned his stare to her. “Oh . . .” How could she let time with Dex
slip away in sleep? Even if Elspeth’s body needed it.

A brief look of concern
crossed his face, followed by soft laughter. “You were sleeping.”
He leaned his head back to the lounge chair, turning his gaze to
the sky. “Why are you wasting your time on me? Tell
Sera
you tried when you
see her. Let it go.”

“
She cares about you,” Sera
said, pushing herself into a sitting position, then changing her
mind. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. If Dex was
willing to sit and listen to her, it wouldn’t hurt to take it
easy.

“
Stop talking about her in
the present tense, Elspeth. She’s dead. Gone. Was.
Past.”

Sera realized she clung to even the
cruel tone of Dex’s voice, enjoying hearing it. “You believed in
life after death before she died.”

“
How would you
know?”

The ice in his voice snapped Sera’s
eyes open. She watched him for a moment before he turned away from
her. “You told her not to worry about dying; that you’d see her
soon.”

The tone changed. “I didn’t know you
knew Sera well enough to talk to her before . . . when she was . .
.” He quit trying to say the words and let the sentence
hang.

Sera didn’t answer. He hadn’t asked a
question anyway. “Tell me about her,” she said instead.

“
I thought you met her.”
The derision was back. Sera ignored it. After a few minutes Dex
answered. “Too bad you couldn’t really know her. She changed my
life.”

Sera turned her face back to him. “You
weren’t like this before her,” she said, confused by what he
meant.

Dex laughed, but joy didn’t infiltrate
it like it had before. “No. I didn’t get the one-way ticket to hell
until she . . . left.”

“
So you do believe in an
afterlife.” Sera smiled at him.

Dex rolled his eyes. “I
went to church with my parents. I did what I was supposed to, but
only because that’s what I’d always done. She made me
want
to be good. To be
the best man I could.” He didn’t speak for several minutes. Sera
didn’t interrupt his solitude. “I should’ve married her the day
after I met her.”

“
Oh . . .” A gasp slipped
out. “You wanted to marry her?” Sera couldn’t help searching his
face.

It changed, darkened and contorted in
anger. “I don’t need you ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhhing’ over it like some
giggly girl. It won’t happen. She’s dead. Bringing God back into my
life won’t change any of that.” He pushed himself out of the chair,
stalking across the rocks.

“
Dex!” Sera struggled to
sit up, but she knew she couldn’t follow him. “Where’re you
going?”

“
I’ll walk home,” he threw
over his shoulder. “I knew I shouldn’t have bothered.”

“
Dex. Please! Wait!” She
sat helplessly in the lounge chair. He ignored her, the
click, click
of rocks
echoing back toward her. She closed her eyes. What had she said
that even had a chance of changing his mind about his choices?
Nothing. She thought talking about herself would soften him a
little, get him to listen to her pleas.

She watched his progress up the beach.
He stopped just before he reached the boardwalk. His shoulders
slumped. He turned and traipsed back to their chairs.

“
It’s too far,” he snapped,
falling down into his chair.

She sighed—quietly—with relief and
leaned back into her own chair.

“
Go ahead, Elspeth. Lecture
me so you can die in peace.” The tone was warming, sounding more
resigned than put-off.

Sera smiled, closing her eyes again.
She hated the limitations this body had. So little time. “Just
remember who you are, Dex,” she slurred. She didn’t hear his
answer. She drifted off again.

*****

“
We should go,” Mr. Ronan
eyed the setting sun with weariness.

Dex looked over at Elspeth.
She already looked like a corpse, worse than even Sera in her last
days, but still a painful reminder. Was that why he agreed to this
ludicrous trip? Was that why he let Elspeth preach to him about
what
Sera
wanted
when he hated Elspeth for it? Because at some point he’d decided
he’d take any reminder, no matter how much it shredded him inside.
Any token that someone as angelic as Sera really existed. The same
light of unconditional knowing shone out of Elspeth’s eyes—though
he didn’t have a clue when that change had happened. Probably when
she realized she was dying. Would Dex come to terms with something
when his time came? If it ever came—and each day that passed that
he didn’t contract Polio-Variant IV he was starting to believe he’d
live forever.

“
Ellie, want me to carry
you to the car?” Mr. Ronan asked gently.

She opened her eyes, looking
exhausted. Dex glanced at Mr. and Mrs. Ronan. Why did they drag her
up here?

“
I’ll take her, Mr. Ronan,”
Dex offered, putting his arms under Elspeth’s skeletal body before
Mr. Ronan could.

“
Thanks,” Elspeth
whispered. Her body relaxed against his. Her hands drifted over the
fabric of his t-shirt, fingering it.

“
Near-death has changed you
a lot, Elspeth,” Dex said.

She didn’t answer for several minutes.
“How so?” she finally asked.

“
You never really talked to
me before. And to be honest, I thought you were a bit of a
snob.”

“
Oh. Sorry,” she
apologized.

“
No problem.” Dex chuckled.
Something in his chest loosened when he did it. “I suppose an
all-important mission to save someone’s soul can change a
person.”

“
I’m not lying.”

“
Maybe. Maybe
not.”

He carried her easily, her body only
swaying slightly in his firm grasp. “She wants you to be happy. Are
the drugs, alcohol, and women making you happy?” she
asked.

They reached Ronan’s car. Mr. Ronan
stepped ahead and opened the door for Dex. He laid Elspeth inside,
helping her sit up against the back of the seat.

“
As happy as I can be.” He
pursed his lips. Elspeth didn’t know what a hell it was to live
without someone like Sera. That it didn’t matter what he did
because when he died he wouldn’t see Sera again.

Elspeth frowned. Dex shut the door and
walked to the other side. She rolled her head over to watch him,
but he ignored her and plopped down into the seat.

*****

Sera thought she stayed awake during
the trip home, though neither she nor Dex spoke. She watched him
stare out the window, gazing at the late afternoon sun sinking
lower and lower. Dex carried her into the house and into her room.
The moment took on a dream-like quality.

“
Stop killing yourself over
me, Elspeth,” he said when he laid her on top of her
bed.

She lifted her fingers, running them
through his soft brown hair, sure he’d never allow it unless she
was dreaming. “I don’t want to be in heaven without you, babe,” she
whispered. She closed her eyes, unable to hold them open longer,
even in her dream.

Dex’s breath caught, then wafted
slowly over her face for several minutes before his weight
disappeared from the bed. She wanted to reach out to him, maybe ask
him to hold her for just a while longer.

“
I miss you, Dex,” she
mumbled.

*****

Sera hoped it was the trip to the lake
the day before that sapped her energy. She didn’t want to give into
the fear that her time with Dex slid through her hands like water.
Trooping across the lawns to Dex’s house was out of the question.
She barely made it to the couch, where she collapsed, exhausted. So
she called Dex from there.

“
Hey, Dex.”

“
Good morning, Elspeth.” He
sighed, seeming resigned to her nagging.

“
Today is sort of a couch
potato day for me. I was hoping you’d come over and keep me
company.” She bit her lip, waiting for a snarky, cold
response.

“
Does it occur to you that
I might have other things I have to do than listen to you lecture
me?”

Sera frowned to herself. She didn’t
know what day of the week it was, let alone what time of year. She
wasn’t even sure how long she’d been “dead.” “It’s summer,” she
said, though it sounded more like a question than a statement. “Are
you still in school? Or do you have a job?”

Dex sighed. “Normally a job. But work
gets slow and my boss lays me off for a while.”

Sera grinned. “Perfect. We’re both
bored.”

“
I can think of a lot
better ways to spend my time.”

She ignored the slight. “I can’t.” She
waited for an answer then finally said, “So are you coming over
here or should I crawl over there?”

Dex didn’t answer for a much longer
time. “Fine. I don’t know why I keep doing what you
want.”

Sera laughed softly. “Because I’m
right?”

“
Doubtful.”

She thought she might’ve heard
something of a smile in his voice. “Because I’m starting to grow on
you,” she said.

“
If you like the pushy,
stubborn type.”

“
I’ll see you in a few
minutes.” Sera hung up before he changed his mind.

It took Dex an hour to make his way
over—so much time that Sera almost called again to remind him he
said he would. Finally, just when she was picking up the phone,
Corinne escorted Dex into the family room.

He paused in the door before coming to
sit down on the couch next to her feet, which surprised Sera. “You
look awful, Elspeth.”