It Will Always Be You (You Series Book 1) (22 page)

Friday, July 9

I’ve given him four days; I finally decide I’m calling him tonight. I gave him time to think. How long does it take to realize that no matter what happens, when you love someone you’re supposed to be together, to work through the crap together?

The work at the club has started slower than I’d like, especially when I need to get my mind off Marshall. Melanie and I are going to do some shopping next week for paint colors and flooring, which I’m looking forward to, and the following week is light fixtures and bar design hunting. This project I have a feeling is going to be a hard one to top when it’s all over. Nothing near my hometown area will ever compare. This job has already made me realize moving away from my hometown is necessary.

Much to my surprise, Marshall answers on the first ring. That’s reassuring.

“How are you doing?” I ask.

“I’m alright, but more importantly, how are you? How’s the new job going?”

“I’m doing okay. The new job is going really well.” Okay, enough of the chit-chat. “Are you in Duluth, Marshall?”

The line is quiet for several long seconds before he answers, “Yes.”

“Well maybe you should come over, so we can talk.”

“Beth, you need to let me go. Your life was put in danger because of me, and I can’t forgive myself for that. You need someone who will keep you safe.” There’s pain laced within every syllable he just spoke.

“Please, Marshall, can you just come over so we can talk this through?”

“I can’t do that; I can’t see you. This is too hard as it is.”

“Well, of course it’s hard, because it’s the wrong decision. The easy decision would be the correct one. How can you just throw this all away?”

“I’m doing what’s best for you.”

“Hell if you are. What’s best for me is you.” There they are—those unshed tears I’ve been storing for days.

“Please stop crying.”

Stop? I can’t. I won’t. I don’t.

“This is what’s best. You could have died because of me. You need to let me go.”

Do I keep him on the line and let him hear me cry, let him hear the pain he’s causing me? Maybe time is what we need, maybe I should let him go—just for a little while, give him a chance to see that he can’t be without me.

My voice quivers as I speak. “I will give you some time, but I will never let you go.”

I end the call.

Saturday, October 16

“Ms. Murphy, do you mind if we get a photo of you and the club owners?” the female reporter from the
Tribune
asks with a Cheshire cat grin.

I take Max’s arm, pulling him over to where Vince and Melanie have been stationed in front of what we have deemed the wall project from hell. It turned out to be the most time-consuming of all of our projects and went well over budget. But we all agreed in the end that it was worth all the blood, sweat, and tears.

The old weathered, exposed brick was repaired before we added our elements—two large martini glasses (constructed from a mold we made of silicone filled with clear plastic) adhered to the wall on either side of the brushed stainless steel letters of the club’s name—BRICK. We melted pink and blue plastic and set it up to dry so it looks like liquid splashing out of the glasses and appears to be pouring from the ceiling. Light shining from above and behind illuminates the fake liquid. It’s a sure eye-catcher.

I enjoy each and every reaction I witness to our spectacular display.

Our picture is snapped time and time again by the photographers from the
Tribune
, and I can see spots for the longest time whenever I blink, which was the first time I thought I spotted Marshall, but when I blinked the spots away, he was nowhere to be seen.

I have a monstrous grin plastered on my face, even though my eyes often scout the room for Marshall. Krystal promised me she’d tell Marshall about the opening.

It has been over three months since we last talked. I gave him the time I’d promised, diving deep into my pattern of run, work, sleep, repeat; but I did also spend a quality portion of my time with my new best friend—my guitar. I’d pick her up to keep my mind off him, but every time it had the opposite effect. Sure, I kept tabs on him through Krystal via Parker. Marshall had spent a considerable amount of time the past three months overseas promoting the Abberline Distillery and the new absinthe blend, and I was knee-deep in projects here at the club.What I wouldn’t give for him to show up here on the biggest night of my life and ask me back, tell me he needs to be with me; it would be enough to keep a smile on my face permanently.

Krystal and Parker, the happy new couple, are very hard for me to be around, but as I see them approach me, I’m ecstatic they’re here. I hug both of them and thank them for coming.

“Wouldn’t miss my girl’s big day for anything,” Krystal says before sipping at her martini.

“You told Marshall about the opening, right?”

“I promised you I would, and even if you hadn’t asked me to, I would have.”

I want to know if he’s coming, so I raise my brow in question; she just shrugs her shoulders.

Suddenly the room gets louder, and I scan the room to see what all the fuss is about. The crowd begins to shuffle toward the stage when finally I can see Vince and Melanie stepping onto the stage, both of them clapping over their heads in rhythm to the music. The two of them have become good friends of mine, as well as Max’s. The four of us worked so well together it was a shame it had to end.

I take a few steps closer as Melanie takes the stage mic from its stand.

“I want to thank all of you for being here tonight and sharing this special evening with us.” The crowd roars with cheers before she continues.

“I have a confession to make to all of you—I have been keeping a secret, and as many of you know, this is not easy for me, but tonight I can finally break my silence.”

I’m definitely intrigued, and with the sudden murmur of the room, she has the attention of everyone else too.

“Where are you, girl?” She puts her hand over her eyes to shield them from the bright overhead lights until I see her fixate on me and point.

“There she is. Everyone give a warm welcome to our amazing designer, Elizabeth Rose Murphy. Come on up here, Liz.”

My legs feel suddenly heavy. All eyes are on me as the herd opens up, creating a small path to the stage. Krystal comes up behind me and pushes me forward to start my momentum.

“Go get ‘em, girl,” she says behind me.

On shaky legs I make my way to Vince and Melanie. The two of them pull me in between them, and Melanie gives the mic over to Vince. The bright lights make it hard to see the crowd, but right up by the stage I see my mom, dad, Rose and Derek, along with several other family members right up at the stage. I knew they were coming, but I hadn’t seen any of them yet.

Vince grabs my shoulder in a hug. “Didn’t this girl do an amazing job on this place, everybody?” The crowd rumbles in applause and whistles.

“She helped make our dream a reality; now it’s our pleasure to reveal her new reality. So, without further ado… ” The two of them pull me off to the side of the stage, turning us towards the screen that covers the back wall.

The screen lights up, and the first thing I see is a commercial for HGTV
Dream it, Design it
premiering this November. What does any of this have to do with me, and why does this seem familiar? Then up pops one of my favorite HGTV designers. She congratulates me by name, tells me my sister had nominated me for the contest and that I’m the runner-up and that I’m invited to join her as guest designer for an episode scheduled to be taped on the coast of Maine in the spring.

I’m glad my back is to the crowd, because my jaw has dropped and my eyes are a blink away from rolling tears. I get to leave Minnesota. I finally get to see more of the world. I take a few deep breaths as the video wraps up and we turn back to the crowd.

I look down at Rose and mouth the words “thank you” but promptly look up when I see that she is blubbering like a mother on her kid’s first day of school.

Vince and Melanie move me back to center stage, and Melanie tips the mic to me and asks, “Is there anything you want to say?”

As much as I dread it, I know I need to accept the mic. My trembling fingers grip the mic tightly, bringing it to my lips. “I want to start by saying ‘thank you’ to these two wonderful people standing next to me for giving me this opportunity and to Max, my photographer, who went above and beyond his job description.”

Both Vince and Melanie laugh, knowing I mean the wall-from-hell debacle.

“And I also want to thank my family and friends for their ongoing support; you all mean so much to me. And to my sister Rose, to whom I owe a big debt of gratitude, who I know I can’t even look at right now or I will make a fool of myself on stage.” Laughter fills the room, and I’m proud of my comedic success.

“Thanks, Rose, for believing in me; you made one of my dreams come true today.”

I look down at Rose with watery eyes, but it’s my grandparents I see. I manage to keep it together as I exit the stage, congratulations coming from every angle, but I don’t stop—excited to see my grandparents.

Once I reach them, the tears spring free as I hug each of them, but that is also the moment I see Marshall—and this time I’m sure—which doesn’t slow my tears any. I thank them both for being here and ask them about California—glancing up over their shoulders periodically in Marshall’s direction, but he is talking to Parker and Krystal and doesn’t seem to know I’ve spotted him.

My grandma touches my arm. “Please, Elizabeth, you have so many people here to talk to. Go. We will catch up later.” My heart races as I hug them both again and make my way to Marshall.

I only make it a few steps before my former best friend—the much taller than me Holly (can’t recall her new last name) Pierce—steps in front of me, blocking my view of Marshall.

“Oh, my God, Elizabeth; it is so good to see you. Sorry I never got back to you on Facebook. My life has been so crazy, but when I saw this event and your name in the paper, I knew I had to come.”

I’m instantly annoyed with my old friend, unsure if it’s just the fact that she is keeping me from Marshall or if it’s the fact that until I became
news
she couldn’t take just a few seconds to reach out to me.

“Hi, Holly, so glad you could make it,” I say kindly, even though at this very second I just want to sneak past her and get to Marshall.

I need to make this short and sweet. “No worries, I get it; life gets busy sometimes. I would love to catch up over coffee soon, but I’m afraid right now I have a future client I can’t let get away.”
Yes, and his name is Marshall Roderick, the epitome of sexy, the smart, funny, caring, generous sex god that I’m in love with, and if you don’t get out of my way I just might go postal.

“I totally understand. Yes, let’s definitely do coffee soon. I will message you. By the way, you look fabulous.”

Okay, so I like her. Apology accepted, coffee date—I’m in. A quick hug and I’m off, only I don’t see Marshall.

I get to Krystal and Parker. “Did he leave?”

Krystal frowns. “Afraid so.”

“Maybe I can catch him.”

Krystal grabs my hand. “Umm, no. Not in those heels. He’s got a few minutes on you. I’m sure he’s already left the lot.”

“Why did he go? What did he say?”

They both wince and I know it can’t be good. “Tell me,” I demand.

“Lizzie,” Krystal squeezes my hand, still gripped tightly in hers, “why don’t you just have a good time tonight and we can chat about things tomorrow?”

“No, you need to tell me, Krystal. Please.” I can tell by the look on her face she knows I won’t be letting it go.

She sighs and shakes her head. “He said he just needed to see that you were happy. That he knows he made the right decision.”

“What? No! He needs to know I need him, that I’m better with him than without him.”

“I know he does, honey, but please do yourself a favor and enjoy your night as best you can. This night needs to be one of the good memories; you need to just let him go for tonight.”

I know she’s right. Everything is so close to perfect in my life right now—everything but the fact that Marshall isn’t where he belongs, right by my side—forever.

Sunday, October
1
7

For the most part—at least as far as anyone else could tell—I did enjoy the rest of my evening. I mingled, I danced, I laughed. After the big announcement, there were several people who approached me to have their picture taken with me, so I did that too—I smiled.

During my late morning run, I get an idea, and apparently last night had been a big boost to my confidence, because I was sure it would bring Marshall back to me. I can’t wait until I get home, so I perch on my rock—the one I once shared with Marshall—and call Krystal. I tell her she needs to get Parker to take Marshall out tonight to the Brewhouse and that she needs to secure a time slot for me on stage.

My phone buzzes in my hand, and I just about jump out of my skin. I answer.

“All right, Lizzie, come in. He’s here with Parker, and I spoke with Charlie. He said the stage is yours.”

My heart is in my throat. I have never been so nervous or had so much on the line ever in my life. I can’t look at him, but the feeling of his presence eases me ever so slightly.

I walk through the Brewhouse, my gaze on the distressed wooden floorboards. I feel like I’m walking the Green Mile, ready to be strapped into the electric chair, anticipating two thousand volts to turn my body into lifeless goo. Round one wouldn’t be necessary to stop my heart, because I no longer feel it beating. Okay, that may be a bit overdramatic; but hell, I’m getting up on a stage in front of a sea of strangers when I’ve only ever performed for my family—aside from the occasional sing-to-the-music moments like at weddings or concerts, but even those who can’t carry a tune can get away with that. If I hadn’t given the little thank you speech last night, I don’t think I would be doing this at all. Alright—so I definitely feel my heart, and it feels like it’s about to pound its way through my ribcage at any moment.

I take my seat, shiny red guitar in hand, but I never look all the way up, only enough to move the microphone to the desired location. One look at him and I won’t be able to hold it together. I cry every time I practice this song, so I still don’t know how I will make it through. But this is my only chance.

I place the guitar body across my legs and wrap my left fingers around the smooth fretboard while my right fingers hover, ready to strum. My throat is tight. Scarcely any air exits my lungs. I take my time to find my breath, breathing in deep before I begin. The room goes silent. I’m not sure if I’m just that tuned in or if everyone has stopped to watch me pour my heart out, but I don’t dare look up. I keep my eyes shut tight.

I begin to gently strum, swaying slightly to feel the rhythm before I begin the soft flowing lyrics to the song that I wrote about him, about me, about us.

I thought I wasn’t good enough to love

But, missing was a piece of me

Something incomplete

Unsolved mystery

Then you took my heart away

I knew I needed you to stay

Without you I’m unworthy

With you I’m the real me

It will always be you

‘cause what you do to me

I look into your eyes and see

The past no longer part of me

I’m no longer broken

I’m whole

My life forever changed

It will always be you

It will always be me

It will always be

In this moment here I am

I want to give you all of me

Heart, soul, body

Close enough to hear you breathe

I feel you strong, you’re like a drug

You’re my medicine, my love

My addiction is pure

And you’re the only cure

It will always be you

‘cause what you do to me

I see it in your eyes, baby

The past no longer part of me

I’m no longer broken

I’m whole

My life won’t be the same

It will always be you

It will always be me

It will always be

I don’t feel like anyone else is in the room but Marshall and me. I can feel his eyes watching me.

The words flow seamlessly from me, breath by flowing breath.

Pouring my heart out line by line, I hope he can feel the gut-wrenching emotion that tings off every chord, straight to his ears.

I finish the last line, the last note spoken from my broken heart, the last word I may ever speak to Marshall, and tears slip silently down my cheeks as the room begins to applaud.

I still don’t look up, afraid of what I’ll see. Maybe he left once he saw me. Maybe he never even noticed I’m here. Maybe he doesn’t even care that I’m here pouring my heart out to him or how hard it is for me to get up on a stage.

I gather the very last little shred of courage I have to bring my head up to meet my fate, my future, or perhaps my doom. My eyes scan the room, and I don’t see Marshall. If my heart wasn’t in a million shattered pieces before tonight, it certainly is now.

I look to my right, where Krystal is standing. No Marshall. She is well aware I need help down from the stage, so she offers up her hand. My knees wobble as I take the big step off the stage. Several people are still cheering, but I don’t even have the strength to acknowledge it. I just want to get my sad, sorry ass the hell out of this place—shit, maybe even this town—and never look back.

We make our way through the crowd near the stage. I hadn’t realized how packed this place is, having come in with blinders on and a fistful of determination to get back my man. If I would have caught sight of the sea of people, I may have just bolted, and clearly that would have been better than this. My emotions are a puddle at my feet while Krystal guides me out into the hall. We round the corner, and she turns me to face her.

“You’re going to get through this, Lizzie. After what you just did up there on that stage, any man not willing to kiss the ground you walk on doesn’t deserve to have someone like you.”

“I don’t want it to be over, Krystal.” Tears sting my eyes.

Krystal’s eyes flicker up over my shoulder.

“Well, maybe there’s still hope.” She grins at me just as a gentle hand rests on my shoulder.

I bring my hand up to meet it and take a moment to dry the tears blinding me before I turn around.

I’m face-to-face with Marshall.

“Can you ever forgive me for being an idiot?”

I don’t say a word. I just wrap my arms around his neck and we share the kiss of a lifetime. I knew I had missed him, but it goes far beyond that. As our lips mold together I feel like my puzzle is finally complete, and it’s not just Marshall I was missing—it was a part of me that was missing, and Marshall gave that to me. With every soft caress of our lips I become stronger, whole—I become me.

He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I find you wildly irresistible, Beth. I know you could do better than me, but I can’t bear the thought of you ever being with anyone else. I need you in my life, as selfish as that is.”

Tears cascade freely from my eyes. “I don’t want anyone else, Marshall. Not now, not ever.”

He places a hand on each side of my face. Tears well up in his eyes as he says the sweetest words I have ever heard in my life.

“It will always be you, Beth. All I ever need is you. I love you.”