Authors: Cait Miller
After spending a good portion of the last six months waiting
to get back to his life, John should be ecstatic with the outcome. The problem
was…he left part of himself and his life on the island and he wasn’t sure just
what to do about it. He watched as Dan Sanders disengaged himself from his U.S.
Marshal colleagues and approached. There was an expression on his face that
caused John to automatically tense in anticipation.
“It’s over.”
He didn’t sit so John closed his computer and stood to offer
his hand. “So I heard.”
“What do you intend to do now, John?”
“I don’t know. Get back to my life I suppose.”
“Well, I have a message for you that might help you make up
your mind. Robin said to tell you he was wrong. And that he loved you.”
“What?”
“The guy, Robin Grant. I found him at the cottage the day we
left. He asked me to tell you.”
“
Then why the hell didn’t you!?
”
“You didn’t need the distraction.”
John’s spine stiffened as anger bubbled in his gut, sizzled
through his veins as the reality of the situation took root. Robin loved him.
Dan knew the truth all this time and the arsehole never told him. Not one
bloody word. Instead, he’d let him believe that they had no future together. Oh
god. Poor Robin. He probably thought John had changed
his
mind.
“You
bastard
!” John reacted without thought. He drew
his fist back and landed a punch packed with months of pent-up frustration and
unrequited love for the man who held his heart. Dan went down hard and within
seconds the other men surrounded him. Dan waved them off from his position on
the floor and accepted a handkerchief someone passed him to wipe the blood from
his mouth.
John shook off the restraining hands. “You’re fired! You
better pray that we can work this out or I will come after you and take it out
of your hide.”
The other man regarded him steadily. “You can’t fire me, I
don’t work for you.” John glared at him and Dan looked away, nodding almost
imperceptibly at the men on either side of him. “There’s something else you
should know.”
John’s heart beat harder. Something in the tone of the other
man’s voice alerted him that he would like this even less.
“The day you left Paradise, Robin was hurt. Someone shot
him.” John’s knees turned to water and the men on either side gripped his arms
as Dan continued. “We believe they thought he was you. You’re similar heights
and he was wearing your shirt. They saw him with me and put two and two
together.”
“Is…is he okay?”
“He’s recovered. But it was necessary to keep you apart. He
made you vulnerable. We needed you here.”
John stiffened and the hands supporting him became
restraining. Dan kept talking, justifying, but he barely heard him. Anger
warred with worry. He wanted to make Dan hurt the way
he
was hurting.
The way Robin had hurt.
Robin.
John needed to see him, speak to him.
Make sure he really was okay and tell him how sorry he was for putting him in
harm’s way and for not being there to help him heal. What must he be thinking?
He turned for the door, surprised the men released him.
Dimly he heard Dan calling after him but nothing mattered now but getting to
his lover’s side.
* * * * *
Robin watched the kids from the class scramble out of the
water and into the waiting arms of their parents. He missed them, being in the
water with them and watching the joy when they realized for the first time they
were floating unaided. He didn’t know when—or if—he would ever be able to do it
again. He understood the concerns about insurance and his safety in the water,
never mind the safety of the class, but it still hurt. They had framed it as a
promotion, giving him a supervisory role, but it was really just a desk job.
The kids chattered excitedly as his colleague led them to
the changing rooms. It was when they were gone that things became quiet and his
thoughts inevitably drifted to memories of John and the events on Paradise. He
had been shot once in the chest and once in the head. By luck or divine
intervention he’d turned his head at the critical moment and the bullet struck
him a glancing blow, minimizing its damage.
He had Dan to thank for keeping him alive until help
arrived. The bullet to his chest cracked a rib, punctured his lung and bled a
lot. The injury to his head had been of the most concern, making his brain
swell and causing some small bleeds inside. The hospital had fixed his chest
and induced a coma to let his brain mend and Robin was airlifted home from the
island, still unconscious. He had stayed that way for almost a week. When he
woke it had been a shock to find himself in a hospital with his family at his
bedside.
He told his sister about John as soon as he had been able.
He’d needed to. There was no way he could hide the way he was feeling from
Joanne. His parents knew most of the circumstances but as far as they knew,
John was just a friend. Only Jo knew the truth. At first she had been angry,
blaming John for Robin’s injuries. It took a long time for him to convince her
not to contact him and berate him for not being at Robin’s side. Robin hadn’t
wanted him there out of a sense of obligation. Besides, they were depending on
John to help take some very dangerous people off the streets and that was far
more important than holding Robin’s hand.
Joanne let him cry on her shoulder and gently scolded him
for missing his chance. She agreed with John and thought he was wasting his
life pretending to be something he wasn’t. You would think that almost dying
would be a catalyst to start living the way he wanted to and it was. Robin
swore that when he was better he would make a change.
But it took longer than he thought. Months of healing and
physical therapy to get to where he was now. As time passed, Rob’s
determination waned. People were already looking at him like some sort of
curiosity, he was already different. Did he really want to give them
another
reason? He looked at his family and friends and his colleagues and imagined
their reactions and found he couldn’t do it. He found himself going through
them in his head trying to decide who would hate him and which ones would still
speak to him. His life had changed enough and he wasn’t ready to lose whatever
comfort familiarity provided.
Throughout it all, almost every other moment had been
focused on a certain trial, which made headline news constantly. It was big, in
the papers and on the news in regular updates, which kept even the locals in
the town curious of this trial’s outcome. Only Robin worried about the secret
witness. Lying in a hospital bed gave him too much time on his hands and he had
watched most of the TV coverage. Though he never heard from John before the
trial, he told himself that he might not have been allowed to contact anyone.
Then Armstrong had a stroke and Rob spent an agonizing few days waiting to see
if the phone would ring before he accepted that it wasn’t going to. When a
guilty verdict was returned, he was relieved, hoping it meant John could get
back to his life. Again, for days he waited for his lover to call, trying not
to build his hopes up.
Nothing.
But then why would he call then if he hadn’t called when Rob
had been shot? Wearily, he began gathering up swimming aids and returning them
to the basket to wheel back into the storeroom, keeping a wary distance from
the pool edge. So that was it. He didn’t know where to find John and even if he
did, his pride wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t blame the man. John offered him
his heart and Robin tossed it back at him because he didn’t want to believe
him. Didn’t want to make the choices that would force him to make.
He looked down at himself, seeing the body that was now
skinny instead of slim. Running his hand through hair that was growing back but
was still shorter than it had ever been. And that was just the surface. There
were other things that would take longer to heal, if they ever did. Would John
even want him now? Though Robin tried to shake it off as if it didn’t matter,
defeat swamped him. It would take time, a lot of time for his heart to heal
too. But what the hell, he went to Paradise for a wild sexual adventure and that
was what he got.
Oh
god
did he miss him.
On a heavy sigh, Rob threw the last float into the basket
and heard footsteps echo behind him. He forced a smile onto his face, thinking
one of the parents had returned to speak with him or one of his hovering colleagues
had come back to check he hadn’t fallen in the pool.
“Can I help y—” His breath caught in his throat and John
smiled at him.
“I got your message.” John stepped closer. “It was a bit
delayed or I would’ve contacted you sooner.”
Robin stared at him in silent disbelief. John’s eyes were
just as blue as he remembered but his red-gold hair was trimmed and neat.
Instead of the loud Hawaiian shirts he had gotten used to, he was dressed in
worn jeans and a white T-shirt.
“I told my parents I wouldn’t be coming back to work.” John
raised his brows in question. “Are you not going to say anything,
leannan
?”
For a moment his mind turned completely blank and he
wondered if his imagination played tricks on him. If this was some new symptom
of his brain injury to be medicated, scanned and examined. Or if he had simply
longed for his lover for so long that his mind conjured John up to taunt him.
Unexpectedly, anger rose through his skin like heat. He closed the distance
between himself and John and pushed him into the turquoise water. Rob watched
as he rose sputtering from the warm depths and wiped the water from his face.
“
Leannan
my ass!” Robin planted his fists on his hips
and glared at John as he treaded water. “All this time I worried about you. I
thought it was over and you just appear. Fuck that!”
He marched toward the employee exit, ignoring the whoosh of
the water as the other man hauled himself out of the pool. His anger had
already begun to fade, his temper as quick to die as it was to spark. John
caught up with him just before he reached the door, grabbing his arm and
hauling him into his embrace. There was no time to protest before John claimed
his lips in a possessive, if wet, kiss.
For a moment Robin let himself sink into it before he
remembered they weren’t back on the island and someone could walk in on them at
any time. He pushed John away and looked around quickly, relieved to find that
they were still alone.
“What the hell are you doing? We can’t do that here, what if
someone sees?” he hissed.
John took a step back and grimaced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t
think. I just…I needed to feel you in my arms again. To know you were okay.”
“Why now? Why did it take you so long?” Robin glanced around
again and kept his voice low.
“I didn’t know. Dan didn’t give me your message until the
trial was over. He said I didn’t need the distraction.” He shook his head, his
aguish evident. “God, Rob. I didn’t even know you were hurt.”
Rob watched the emotion play across John’s face. “That
bastard!”
“I know.” He looked down at himself ruefully. “Now I wish
I’d hit him harder, or repeatedly.”
Robin felt his own temper begin to stir again as he thought
about how much heartache the bodyguard had caused him. He gritted his teeth. “I
wish you had too.”
“I am sorrier than you can ever know. Please, tell me it’s
not too late.”
He looked into the John’s eyes and wanted to say that no, it
wasn’t too late but then he thought again of having to face his family and
friends and hesitated. As though sensing his indecision, John reached out his
hand, not touching, just waiting. Robin looked at the other man as he stood
dripping on the tiles, eyes full of his heart. He reached out and squeezed
John’s hand before releasing it to open the door.
“Come on. You can take me home.”
Chapter Six
John winced as he climbed out of his rented SUV and the cold
evening air chilled the wet clothes sticking to him. Goose bumps rose on his
arms and he shivered. He spent far too much time in swimming pools
involuntarily around Robin.
Barretts Cross was every bit as small as Robin had told him
and as he’d followed Rob’s directions through the streets to his apartment
above the café, John began to understand why Robin opted to stay in the closet.
It was one of those “everyone knows everybody else and their business” kind of
places. The main street looked like it was the hub of life and in the
five-minute drive from the swimming pool to here, they had passed three
churches. There were a handful of tables in the window of the café and the
people who sat at them watched with avid curiosity as Robin led the way to his
door.
John took his bag from the trunk of the car and tried to
ignore his bedraggled state as the other man led him inside. His lover had
changed so much and it terrified John to see just how badly injured he must
have been. Robin could have died. Dan said he had recovered but it looked to
John as though it was still an ongoing process. He looked at the livid scars on
Rob’s head and his heart swooped toward his feet. The golden touch of the sun
from Paradise had long faded and Rob’s skin held the pallor of recent illness.
Dark shadows lay under his eyes and he was too thin. The other scrapes and
bruises visible on his arms and legs made John frown. Robin had confessed that
he was clumsy. Had his head injury somehow made it worse? It made his heart
hurt to think so.
They climbed up the short flight of stairs and through a
door into a small living room. It was bright and homey with cream walls and a
battered brown leather sofa and chairs on a colorful rug. Robin gestured at one
of the doors in the opposite wall.
“Bathroom’s through there. Would you like a drink?”