Island of Shadows (22 page)

For a moment his gaze met Tikaani's, and they stood in silence.

“You're good at this, too,” the she-bear said. Then, after a moment, “You should stay here. Other brown bears have.”

Toklo felt his breath grow short. “I can't stay,” he replied; for some reason he felt as if the words were being wrenched out of him. “This isn't my home.”

“It could be.”

Toklo blinked. “I've heard brown and white bears don't get along on this island,” he ventured.

“Some of them do,” Tikaani said. “Some of them have even had cubs together.” Then she sighed and added, “And some of them don't. But it doesn't have to be like that forever.”

Suppose I did stay?
Toklo asked himself in rising excitement.
Maybe we could all settle here. Nanulak might get along with these white bears.

Then he spotted something behind Tikaani, a faint outline that took the form of a small brown bear.

Ujurak!

His friend's voice echoed inside Toklo's head, filled with sadness.
Remember what really matters.
Ujurak's eyes held Toklo's as his image slowly faded away again. Toklo was reminded of the tall trees and the rushing rivers of his true home.

Regretfully, Toklo shook his head. “I'm sorry, Tikaani. I can't stay.” He felt guilty to see the disappointment in Tikaani's eyes. “But thanks for the hunting tips! And really, if I could stay, I would.” He wished he could tell her everything, about his companions, the journey they had made to Star Island, how he had dreamed for so long of finding a forest with brown bears just like him, and delicious prey to hunt. A territory, with borders—a
home
. Why did those plans suddenly seem such a long way off? He could be just as happy here, couldn't he, with Tikaani?

“Well, if you change your mind, come back,” she said. “I'll be here.”

Toklo nodded. “I'll remember that,” he promised. He stretched his head out, and they touched muzzles, briefly but just long enough for him to taste the sweetness of her breath and feel warmth through his fur. He closed his eyes.
Why is it so hard to remember what matters most sometimes?
He heard a rustle of snow and opened his eyes to see Tikaani walking away, leaving a trail of pawprints on the rocks. Toklo's heart sank. He would be loyal to his companions whatever happened, but right now it felt as if he were losing a little part of himself.

He headed back toward the cave, carrying the goose, a parting gift from Tikaani. He cast one glance back to see her poised on top of a rock, watching him go. Then he lost sight of her as he rounded a thorn thicket.

He felt encouraged by the discovery that not all the white bears on the island were hostile. But he knew that he had to put Nanulak first. If the younger bear felt so threatened by the white bears that he refused to live on the island, then they had to keep going until they all found somewhere they could live safely.

That's what I have to do
, Toklo decided.
But I'm sorry that I won't see Tikaani again.

Kallik plodded through the soft snow
, glad to stretch her muscles again after the couple of days' rest in the cave. Toklo had taken the lead, seeming eager to get going, and even Lusa looked brighter, wading determinedly through the snow.

Toklo is himself again
, Kallik reflected.
I hated when he was so different after we rescued him from the tunnel. Now he's almost as comfortable here as a white bear, and he's really good at hunting in snow!
She remembered how she and Yakone had tried out the tricks Toklo taught them, catching a goose even bigger than the one Toklo had brought back when they tempted it with seeds.

Maybe because they were all well-fed for once, Kallik felt that the mood had lifted. Even Nanulak was high-spirited, forgetting his fear of white bears as he pestered Toklo for stories about rivers and forests.

But even though he seemed to be himself again, Toklo was quiet today, responding only briefly to Nanulak's flood of questions. Kallik quickened her pace and caught up with him. “Are you okay?” she asked.

Toklo glanced at her; for a heartbeat his gaze looked unfocused, as if he was expecting to see some other bear. “Yes, I'm fine,” he replied.

For days the bears had caught glimpses of ice glimmering on the horizon ahead of them, and now a tough climb, scrambling among snow and rocks, brought them to the edge of it. It was like a frozen ocean perched on a ridge of mountains. Kallik took in a long, cold breath of air. Ice stretched ahead as far as she could see, broken up by dark rocks that poked through the surface. Wisps of cloud drifted across it.

“It's so beautiful!” she whispered. “I never dreamed there could be so much ice at the top of a mountain.”

Yakone stood still, his snout raised and his gaze fixed on the expanse of ice. “It's quite something.”

“Do you think it's a frozen sea?” Lusa asked, her berry-bright eyes wide with wonder. “We've never seen one of those so high up before.”

“There are a lot of things we've never seen before,” Toklo pointed out.

“It's just a stretch of ice,” Nanulak informed them, fluffing out his fur importantly. “There's no sea underneath it. Sometimes it melts in burn-sky, and there's nothing underneath but rocks.”

Kallik took a few steps forward, reveling at the feeling of ice beneath her paws again. “It's worth all the struggles to get up here, just to see this,” she murmured.

“It should be easier going now,” Yakone commented, then looked over at his companions. “At least, it will be for me and Kallik. Sorry, I forget that brown and black bears aren't used to traveling on ice.”

Toklo took a few exploratory steps out onto the ice sheet. Kallik could see that he was having trouble balancing, just as he had before when they'd crossed the Endless Ice. They had been traveling on land or snow-covered ice for several moons, and Toklo had clearly lost the knack of ice-walking. Nanulak followed him and instantly started slipping, waving his legs around and letting out a high-pitched yelp as he landed hard on his rump.

But his paws are more like mine and Yakone's than Toklo's
, Kallik thought.
He should be able to manage just fine on the ice. Is he trying to act like a brown bear, to be like Toklo?

“Don't forget that there won't be any seals under this ice,” Toklo said, retracing his pawsteps to help Nanulak up. “And I can't imagine hares and foxes making their dens in it. We'll have to stay near the edge to catch prey, and to find leaves and twigs for Lusa.”

The little black bear stifled a massive yawn. “Yes, please.”

Kallik felt momentarily disappointed. As soon as she'd set eyes on the massive ice sheet, she had longed to explore it.

“We could head across the ice for a little way,” Yakone suggested. “Just me and Kallik, I mean. Some bear ought to check it out, in case there's anything dangerous.”

“That's a great idea!” Kallik exclaimed.

But Toklo was looking doubtful. “I don't like the idea of splitting up.”

“We won't go far,” Yakone promised.

“Well … okay.” Toklo gave a reluctant nod. “I think I'll rest for a bit, and then maybe hunt. Lusa, are you going with them?”

“No way! I'll stay with you and get some sleep…” Her words ended in another huge yawn.

“Nanulak?” Kallik would rather have spent the time alone with Yakone, but she didn't feel that she could deliberately leave Nanulak behind. “Do you want to come and explore the ice?”

Nanulak gazed at her, a scared look in his eyes. “No, I'm staying with Toklo,” he replied. “There might be white bears up here.” Turning his back on Kallik and Yakone, he followed Toklo back to the edge of the ice and huddled close to his side.

Maybe he doesn't trust us yet
, Kallik thought.

Toklo glanced down at Nanulak and touched him reassuringly on the shoulder. “We'll meet back here, then,” he said to Kallik. “And for the spirits' sake, be careful.”

Kallik dipped her head in agreement before turning and heading out across the ice beside Yakone. Exhilaration welled up inside her at the cold, the drifting cloud, and the familiar sensation of gliding across the ice.

“You know,” Yakone said, breaking into her mood, “Nanulak acts like a helpless cub around Toklo. You'd never think that he was nearly as old as us.”

“But he's just lost his family,” Kallik reminded him. When she remembered how terrible it had felt to lose her mother and Taqqiq, she couldn't help feeling sympathetic toward Nanulak.

Yakone shrugged. “Whatever. I still think he should be able to look after himself. You and Lusa and Toklo all had to. What's so special about Nanulak?”

Part of Kallik wanted to agree with Yakone. Nanulak wasn't the only bear who had suffered loss and hardship. But she still felt a certain protectiveness toward the younger bear.
Maybe it's because I had to leave Kissimi behind
, she thought, remembering the tiny white cub she had left with his kin on Star Island.
I miss him, and I miss taking care of him, too, even though he would never have survived the journey.

“Let's run,” Yakone suggested. “I haven't had a chance to stretch my legs properly for a long time.”

He took off without waiting for Kallik's response. Pushing thoughts of Nanulak out of her mind, Kallik raced after him. It felt great to run, to feel the smooth, unyielding ice beneath her paws and the cold air flattening her fur to her sides.

This is a good place
, she thought.
Maybe life would be better here, instead of going back to the Frozen Sea.

Yakone slowed and halted, panting, and turned to Kallik as she caught up with him. “That was great!” he exclaimed. Then he paused for a moment and touched Kallik's ear with his snout. “Are you okay?” he asked. “You look as if something's bothering you.”

“Not really,” Kallik replied. “I was just wondering if we're doing the right thing, heading back to the Frozen Sea.”

Yakone blinked, surprised. “Why shouldn't we?”

“It's just … life will be hard there. The melt season comes earlier and earlier every year. It's difficult for white bears to find enough food before they have to head for land.”

“I see.” Yakone looked puzzled. “But I thought you wanted to find your brother there.”

“Taqqiq might not even be there!” Kallik burst out, giving voice to her fears for the first time. “And if he is, he might not want to see me,” she added miserably, remembering how hostile Taqqiq had been when she'd met him beside Great Bear Lake.

Yakone pressed himself comfortingly against her side. “If your brother's that cloud-brained, it's his loss,” he said. “Besides, you've got me now.”

“I know.” Kallik thrust her muzzle into Yakone's shoulder fur.

“I think we should head for the Frozen Sea,” Yakone went on. “I'd like to see it, when you've told me so much about it. And if it doesn't work out, we don't have to stay there. We could come back here, or go back to Star Island.”

The tight knot of worry inside Kallik relaxed and dissolved into nothing. “Of course we could. We could go anywhere!”

“And right now we'd better—” Yakone began.

A loud, angry roar interrupted him. Kallik spun around to see a huge white bear pacing across the ice toward them. He was an older, full-grown male with ragged yellow fur; his jaws gaped to show a mouthful of broken teeth.

“Get out! This is my place!” he growled.

“Sorry, but we—” Yakone started to explain.

“I saw you with a brown bear,” the old bear interrupted. “
And
one of those spirit-forsaken mixtures.”

“Is that a problem?” Yakone asked calmly. “Surely there's room here for every bear?”

The old male bared his teeth in a snarl. “White bears should be white, and brown bears should be brown. Now, are you going to leave, or am I going to teach you how a real white bear fights?”