Island of Shadows (15 page)

Lusa imagined how Toklo would have reacted once:
What's this stuff you're giving me? It's not the right food for a brown bear!
She almost wanted him to be angry with her, just so she could have the familiar Toklo back again.

The sun began to dip toward the horizon again, the short day of snow-sky already coming to an end. The mountain ridge seemed as far away as ever. Lusa's paws were so cold she could hardly feel them, and her legs ached from the effort of climbing. Her breath was coming in rapid pants, and she wondered how long she could keep going.

“Let's make a den for the night,” Yakone suggested; Lusa wondered if the white bear could see she was struggling. “We all need to rest.”

“Okay.” Kallik veered across the hillside to where a single thornbush straggling from the top of a bank offered a bit of shelter.

Lusa nudged Toklo to get him to follow, and the brown bear slumped down with his nose on his paws, staring at nothing. She touched his ear affectionately with her snout, but he didn't react.

While Kallik and Yakone began digging a makeshift den out of the snowbank, Lusa peeled some of the bark from the trunk of the thorn. “Here, Toklo, try this,” she suggested. “It might help.”

Toklo nibbled the bark, then turned to Lusa. It was the first time he had met her gaze since he had come out of the tunnels, and she felt that at last he recognized her.

“You should have left me down there,” he growled softly. “It was my destiny to stay there, underground in a den where brown bears belong.”

Lusa shook her head. “Are you completely bee-brained?” she hissed. “I belong in trees, but there aren't any here—not proper trees,” she added, with a disdainful glance at the twisted thorn. “That doesn't mean I'm giving up. It just means we have to keep going until I find some.”

Toklo blinked thoughtfully, as if she might have managed to reach him, but his only reply was a grunt. He closed his eyes; Lusa had to prod him and push him to make him retreat into the den. Lusa curled up beside him, but for once it was a long time before she was able to sleep.

“Lusa! Lusa!”

The voice called Lusa out of a disturbing dream, where she wandered alone over a snow-covered landscape, endlessly searching, though she couldn't remember what she needed to find.

“Lusa!”

Opening her eyes, Lusa gazed past Toklo's sleeping bulk to where a small brown bear was poking his snout into the entrance of the makeshift den.

“Ujurak!” she gasped.

The star-bear's gaze was warm as he jerked his head, beckoning her to join him outside. Lusa scrambled past Toklo, briefly wondering if she ought to wake him, then skirted the mound of white fur where Kallik and Yakone were curled up together, and burst out into the open.

Ujurak was standing a bearlength away, waiting for her. Starlight misted in his fur and glittered around his paws. Above him the stars blazed, so close and bright that Lusa felt she could almost reach up and pluck them out of the sky like a pawful of berries.

“I… I'm still dreaming, aren't I?” she asked, her heart sinking in disappointment. “You aren't really here.”

Ujurak's eyes gleamed. “Yes, you're dreaming,” he replied. “But that doesn't mean I'm not here.”

“Oh, Ujurak, I've missed you so much!” Lusa exclaimed. “We all have, especially Toklo. And we've been so worried, because we thought Toklo killed you again when you were an Arctic hare.”

Ujurak looked puzzled. “An Arctic hare? No, that wasn't me.” His eyes suddenly danced with mischief. “Lusa, I'm always with you, but if any of you think you're fast enough to catch me, you're making a big mistake!”

Lusa let out a huff of relief. “I'm so glad! Can you visit Toklo, too, and reassure him?” she added. “He's been hurt, and he really needs you now.”

“Toklo's time will come,” Ujurak promised. “And you can tell him he shouldn't be afraid to hunt. Meanwhile, I know what he needs. Come with me.” He turned and padded off, leaving no tracks in the snow, only a faint silver glimmer that faded as Lusa followed him.

Ujurak led her around the contour of the hill until they reached a place where the snow had been scraped away. A clump of leaves was growing there; Lusa plunged her snout into them, snuffling up their strong smell. “Are these herbs for Toklo?” she asked. The brown bear nodded.

“Ujurak, thank you! I tried to help him, but I didn't know what to give him,” Lusa admitted. Carefully she nipped off the stems and picked up the bundle in her mouth. Ujurak padded beside her as she headed back to the den. Toklo was still sleeping.

“Don't wake him,” Ujurak advised. “He needs to sleep, and so do you. The morning will be soon enough for him to eat them.”

Lusa set the herbs down and lay down next to Toklo again. To her delight, Ujurak curled himself around her; blissful warmth began to spread through her, and she felt herself sinking more deeply into sleep.

“Thank you, Ujurak,” she murmured. “I wish you could stay with us always.”

Lusa woke to the sound of Kallik and Yakone stretching and pushing their way out of the den. Toklo was still asleep. Ujurak had gone, but Lusa could still smell the strong scent of the herbs.

“I wonder if I could find—” she began, and broke off, her jaws gaping with astonishment. The small bundle of herbs still lay where she had left it, close to Toklo's snout.

Then it wasn't a dream?
She gave herself a shake.
Ujurak came to me and showed me what I needed to help Toklo!

“Come on, Toklo,” she said aloud, giving the brown bear a hefty prod in the side. “Wake up. Look what Ujurak sent you.”

Toklo let out a groan. His eyes flickered open with a flash of interest that quickly faded, and then closed again. “Leave me alone,” he muttered.

“No, sorry. Not going to happen.” Lusa pushed the bunch of leaves against Toklo's snout. “You have to eat these. They'll help.”

Toklo sniffed, and his eyes opened again. He looked slightly more interested. “Hmm … they smell good.” He licked up the herbs and chewed them, his jaws moving rhythmically. “Satisfied?” he asked when he had swallowed. “Now can you let a bear get some sleep?”

He's sounding better already
, Lusa thought, rejoicing at the trace of the old grouchy Toklo in the brown bear's tone. She left him to rest and scrambled out of the den to find Kallik standing alone and sniffing at the chilly dawn air.

“Yakone has gone to hunt,” she said. “How's Toklo?”

“Better, I hope,” Lusa replied. “Kallik, you might not believe this, but last night…” She settled down beside her friend in the mouth of the den and told her about her dream visit from Ujurak.

“He really came!” Kallik blinked happily. “He still cares about us!”

Thin flakes of snow began to drift down as the two she-bears waited for Yakone. Not much later Lusa heard a snort behind her, and Toklo came to join them. His eyes looked brighter, and he seemed to be moving more easily.

“How do you feel?” Kallik asked.

“Not too bad,” Toklo replied. Lusa had to stop herself from bouncing up and down with glee to hear him sounding like himself again. “I'm not aching so much,” he went on. “I don't know what that was you gave me, Lusa, but it worked.”

“Ujurak showed it to me in a dream,” Lusa explained, briefly anxious that Toklo would be angry that his friend hadn't come to him. “And he told me that he wasn't the hare you killed. We can hunt freely again.”

Toklo gazed at her, letting out a long sigh of relief. “The prey had better watch out!” he said. “I'm going to hunt—”

A sudden squeal of terror interrupted him. An Arctic hare burst through the screen of falling snow, dashing straight past Kallik's paws. Yakone appeared in furious pursuit, but the hare was dodging from side to side, skimming over the ground as if it weighed nothing. The white bear was too slow changing direction, and it looked as if the hare would escape.

“Oh, for the spirits' sake,” Toklo groaned, heaving himself to his paws.

He headed away from the den, wading through the freshly fallen snow, his gaze fixed on the hare. Then he bounded off at an angle, so that when the hare dodged again, it almost threw itself onto his paws. Toklo gave it one swipe, and it fell to the ground as Yakone came panting up.

“
That's
how you catch a hare,” he growled.

Yakone let out a huff of embarrassment, but Lusa and Kallik exchanged a delighted glance.

“It's good to have you back, Toklo!” Lusa exclaimed.

Toklo's sense of triumph at killing
the hare faded as he shared his prey with his friends. He could see that Lusa and Kallik thought he was back to his old self, but they were wrong. His aches and pains were fading, but his sense of belonging with Lusa and Kallik was gone, and he couldn't see the point of their journey anymore.

None of us knows where we're going. I don't know why we're bothering.

Even his satisfaction at showing Yakone how to make a kill didn't mean much to Toklo now. He couldn't remember why he had thought it was so important to challenge Yakone all the time.
Let him take the lead and be responsible for us all. Maybe he'll be a better leader after all.

Toklo no longer believed that he had been a good friend to Lusa and Kallik. How could he have been, when he had made so many mistakes?
If I'd been that good a friend, Ujurak wouldn't have left. I'd have found some way to save him.

The snow was falling more thickly now. As he and the others retreated into the den, Toklo decided that he would stay with Kallik and Lusa until they were safely home, or at least until they had found a place where they could settle.

And after that? Who cares? It's not important.

Toklo brushed through rich undergrowth, enjoying the feeling of soft moss under his pads and the warm air scented with green, growing things. Tantalizing prey-scents wafted over his nose, but his gaze was fixed on the brown bear ahead of him. He caught only fleeting glimpses, as the other bear whisked between trees and arching clumps of bracken, but Toklo knew with every hair on his pelt who he was pursuing.

“Ujurak!” he panted. “Wait for me!”

But Ujurak was drawing farther ahead, leaving Toklo to blunder helplessly in his pawsteps. Soon Toklo could barely see him in the shadows where thick foliage blocked out the sunlight.

Skidding to a halt, Toklo let out a roar of anger, loss, and frustration. “You're leaving me behind!”

Suddenly Ujurak's voice sounded in Toklo's ear, as if the star-bear were standing right next to him. “You cannot follow me, Toklo.” His tone was tinged with regret. “You have your own journey now. Remember what matters most.”

His voice faded as he spoke the last few words. The sunlit forest faded, too, and a blast of icy wind ruffled Toklo's fur. Its touch wrenched him out of the warm forest, and he blinked open his eyes to see the snowbound plains that lay beyond the entrance to their den.

Toklo lay still for a moment longer, trying to recapture the dream. Part of him was comforted by the vision of Ujurak and the way his friend had spoken to him.

“But why can't he say what he means in a way that a bear can understand?” Toklo growled softly to himself. “
Remember what matters most.
Well, Ujurak, I'd do that, if only I knew what it was.”

Heaving himself to his paws, Toklo peered out of the den. The landscape had changed overnight, the bumps and hollows smoothed out under a thick white covering. The sky was gray, the clouds heavy with more snow to come.

“I don't think we should travel in this,” Yakone said, coming to crouch beside Toklo at the entrance to the den. “We'll all feel better if we rest until the weather improves. What do you think?”

Toklo grunted. He wasn't sure this was the best plan, when they didn't know how good the hunting would be here. And he didn't want Yakone thinking he was too weak to carry on. But he couldn't be bothered to argue.