Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 4 (5 page)

“Why is Ares worshipped so much in that country, anyway?”

“Maybe it’s because he’s got a personality that’s hard to hate? The children love that kind of thing.”

“It has to be his amazing good looks. His visage is almost on par with the goddess of beauty. I’m in the Freya camp, though.”

“Got muscles for brains, too.”

The table erupted with conversation ranging from pointless joking to absolute seriousness, and back again two or three times.

Each of the gods continued to say their own opinions, the atmosphere relaxed and unhurried.

While she had an idea this was what went on, actually seeing this chaos with her own eyes was frustrating for Hestia.

It looked nearly impossible to regain any kind of control, but—“Y’all pipe down, now!” Loki’s voice suddenly rose above the din. With a reaction speed that Hestia could barely comprehend, all the deities went silent.

“All right, then. Here’s what we got. Need ta keep our eyes on Rakia, inform the Guild. Then again, knowin’ old man Uranus, he’ll figure it out himself. For everybody else, give yer
Familias
a heads-up. That clear ta y’all?”

“Understood.”

Loki sorted through all of the information and summarized the important points. Since the gods and goddesses from all of the most influential
Familias
in Orario were in attendance, making sure that all of them heard the most important information was part of her job.

Loki then went around the table, asking for any other news that needed to be shared. As soon as her questions fell on deaf ears…she clapped once, her face scrunched into a catlike grin.

“Time ta proceed ta the Namin’ Ceremony.”

The room was suddenly tense.

The moment that Loki uttered those words, many of the gods who had up until that point been very vocal in the discussion froze, their faces one shade paler. Hestia was among their ranks.

As for the others, they drooled in anticipation.

They were used to how these Denatus meetings were run, and their favorite part was coming up. Several of their faces looked broken as ugly smiles burst forth from their lips.

Their party, and the others’ tragedy, was about to begin.

“Everybody’s got the handouts, yeah? Then let’s raise the curtain! Today’s top batter is…Seto’s boy, an adventurer named Ceti!”

“P-please, please go easy on him…?!”

“““““““““DENIED””””””””””””

“Noooooooooooooo!”

The sensibility of the gods, as with the people below, had changed to match the culture on Earth. Both were very similar up to a point. Being from Deusdia, it was common knowledge to Hestia that the gods and goddesses possessed senses that transcended human comprehension. However, that was not necessarily so, and there were many similarities between the ways gods and the people of Earth thought.

However.

The deities had a completely different sense of what made a good name when it came to bestowing titles.

Were the gods strange, or were the children foolish?

Were the gods too radical or were the children too old-fashioned in their respective ways of thinking?

While the truth had yet to be determined, the fact was that many names that made the children’s eyes light up with pride made their gods’ heads droop in shame.

“—That’s final. The adventurer Ceti Selty shall be known as a dragon knight of the dawn: ‘Burning Fighting Fighter’!”

“Whhhyyyyyyyy?!”

Another “regrettable name” had just been created.

The deities with less-than-generous personalities loved to watch others squirm as their favorite children were, one by one, given these regrettable names. The children who received them, however, would be in awe of the images that these nicknames produced.

The deities would first enjoy watching other gods and goddesses go mad with embarrassment, with their second course being watching the children’s reactions to their uncouth nicknames. Today was a great day because they would spend most of it rolling on the floor with laughter. The best part was many of these names would live on in the children’s legends.

“This is too cruel…”

“I understand all too well…”

Hestia’s scared voice squeaked out of her throat. “I was the same at first,” said Hephaistos with a slow nod. Her crimson left eye was looking off into the distance.

Deities attending Denatus for the first time, especially the Naming Ceremony, were treated with the utmost cruelty.

Sharing useful information might have been the main purpose of the day’s meeting, but the hazing of newcomers had now begun. Hestia’s face turned sour as she watched some gods scream out in despair while others laughed, clutching their ribs. The disparity between the two groups was sickening.

“Okay, next up. Takemikazuchi’s…ohh, quite the cutie, this gal. Hmm, she’s from one of those Far East places, so her name’s backward…Little Miss Yamato Mikoto!”

Loki took another look at the Guild’s paperwork in her hands, scanning it with her eyes.

It included the profiles of every adventurer to be named, as well as a sketch of that person’s face drawn at the time they registered with the Guild. The sound of paper suddenly fluttered around the table before a chorus of “Ohh?” rose from their collective mouths.

“Look at this one…Pretty damn good.”

“Black hair is so nice—”

“Hmmm, and she’s just a little kid, we can’t really…”

“Oh yeah, just thinking about doing something to a girl of this
tender age…makes me really excited! Just kidding, it’d weigh on my conscience.”

“A-are you serious?!”

There were two ways for a god at Denatus to avoid the drama of the second name.

The first way involved paying off some of the more influential gods and goddesses before the meeting even started. However, this was nearly impossible for most of the lower
Familias
.

Therefore, in these cases the influential gods and goddesses would look at the person in question and find a characteristic that they liked, as was taking place right now. Girls tended to get better names with this method than boys.

Like a sunbeam piercing through storm clouds, the male gods in the room quickly focused on the girl’s hair color. Takemikazuchi couldn’t sit still, and he jumped to his feet.

“Takemikazuchi, you’re hopeless, you bastard!”

“Natural-born gigolo, that’s what you are…”

“A goddess, a child, doesn’t matter to you, does it? You pull them into your scheme just the same…”

“You got a Lolita complex or something?!”

“Wh-what the hell are you talking about?!”

“Poor Mikoto—her, too…”

“If the thoughts don’t get through, then how about something a little more physical…Ha-hee-hee.”

“Damn you all…!”

There was nothing more whimsical and unpredictable than a god.

Takemikazuchi gritted his teeth. His frustration with the other deities had gotten to him.

“I shall be the one to deliver a requiem for Miss Mikoto! Future of the Milky Way—‘Fortune Galaxy’!”

“Dear Mikoto, you were such a good girl, but your god is just hopeless. You’re a fallen saint—‘Last Heroine.’”

“Enough! Stop this at once! I’ve done my absolute best to raise up and guide my little angel!”

“‘Little Angel,’ then!”

““““That’s it!””””

“Please…have mercy…”

This was what the gods came to Denatus to see.

Hestia and Hephaistos also tried to give a few suggestions, but they were completely ignored.

“This gal Mikoto’s nickname is… ‘Eternal † Shadow.’ That sittin’ well with everybody?”

“No objections.”

“Uwahhh, gggaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”

Hestia felt sorry for her friend as he threw his head back, hands over his ears, and wailed at the top of his lungs in humiliation. She swore to herself that she would take him out for a stiff drink that night.

Even after Takemikazuchi, a god of military arts, stopped crying tears of blood, the victims of the Naming Ceremony kept piling up.

The pandemonium continued until all of the adventurers from lower and middle class
Familias
had been given a title. Now it was time for the cream of the crop.

Adventurers from
Hephaistos Familia
,
Ganesha Familia
, and
Ishtar Familia
were on the list to be named.

“…
Freya!
Not a single one from your house has leveled up. So you came here for leisure only? Why is it that the Almighty Freya would even bother showing her face in a place like this?”

“Why, yes. Even in Tenkai, retirement is the poison that will kill us all. I was just out for a little stroll, Ishtar.”

Any deity who received an invitation to Denatus had the right to participate in any meeting from then on.

If no one in their
Familia
had leveled up, then there was almost no point in their attendance other than for the entertainment. A good example would be the many gods and goddesses who took the lead in suggesting second names during the ceremony.

Despite Ishtar’s poorly disguised mockery, Freya brushed off her fellow goddess of beauty’s words with a cold smile.

“Oh, is that right? And speaking of time to burn, one of your house
seems to have that as well. Just roaming around the middle levels, dueling Minotaur after Minotaur for fun, yes? The apple never falls far from the tree, now does it?”

“Hee-hee, you may be right.”

“Ah, yes. While we’re on the subject, I heard about a Minotaur that came into the upper levels…Could this have something to do with your house, Freya? If by chance it does, what will the Guild have to say about it?”

“Why don’t you ask, Ishtar? I’ve heard that while my child was playing with those Minotaurs, he was attacked by a group of Amazons wearing masks…Don’t you find that a little rude? I’d like to have a word with their mother…”

“…!”

Ishtar’s face contorted, the brown skin under her very revealing outfit tensing up all over her body. On the other hand, Freya laughed quietly to herself and closed her eyes to signal the end of their conversation.

The truth behind the Minotaur incident that was making waves in the adventure community was still shrouded in mystery. All of the gods in this room were aware of that.

The other gods at the table watched the two goddesses of beauty trade verbal jabs while giggling to themselves.

“Amazons. Does that mean Ishtar is trying to butt into Freya’s affairs?”

“Well, could be. It’s not like this is the first time. Ishtar has always considered Freya to be her rival.”

“Even so, Freya is just toying with her…Seems like arguing which one of the two is the most beautiful would be a very fruitless discussion.”

“Don’t say that to Ishtar’s face.”

Hestia and Hephaistos whispered quietly to each other, but the young goddess’s eyes were locked firmly on Freya.

Since Bell had become directly involved in the Minotaur incident, this wasn’t just someone else’s problem…However, while she
couldn’t just take Freya’s and Ishtar’s words at face value, she wasn’t in a position to press them for answers, either. She didn’t want to make any false accusations.

Despite her mind firing on all cylinders, Hestia decided to stop trying to figure out the meaning of Freya’s words. She did not, however, take her eyes off the silver-haired goddess for a moment.

“Alrighty, then, enough chitchat. Time to pick back up again. Next on the list is…nu-hee-hee, the hometown hero, my Aiz!”

“The Kenki’s back again!!”

“The princess is just as beautiful as ever.”

“You mean she’s Level Six now…?”

The Naming Ceremony had been in danger of breaking down, but a big name like Aiz Wallenstein’s was just what they needed to get back on track.

Each of the deities flipped through their paperwork to find an extremely detailed picture of a young girl staring back up at them with eyes like a doll.

Every time someone leveled up, they received a chance to correct their second name. Even if their first title was rather strange, as long as they leveled up again it could be fixed at the next Denatus Naming Ceremony.

“Don’t you think that Aiz’s name is good enough as it is?”

“Agreed.”

“It could be changed to something like
holy sword
—‘Kensei’?”

“Hunh?”

“Aiz’s image is completely different, don’cha think?”

“Well, the be-all and end-all would be
Daughter of the Gods
—‘Our Lady.’”

“““““Agreed!””””””

“I’ll end y’all.”

““““““Our apologies!!””””””

Another way to avoid an embarrassing second name was for the god or goddess to bring up how powerful their
Familia
was within Orario.

In short, they had to make the others think that picking a fight would be a very bad idea.

None of the gods were foolish enough to get carried away when they knew the wrath of Loki was waiting for them.

Every single one of the deities who had gotten caught up in the moment slammed their heads to the table in a deep bow in Loki’s direction, in order to escape her glare of death.

“Seriously, ya gotta know who yer dealin’ with. Anyhoo, next…Hmm, last one, yeah?”

Hestia suddenly went tense, gulping down her last breath.

There was only one last page left in the prepared handouts. The level-up had occurred just before Denatus was scheduled to take place, so only the most basic of basic information had been prepared in time.

It was for an adventurer who belonged to
Hestia Familia
, who had been completely unknown until recently.

Bell.

“So that child really did become Level Two…”

Hephaistos whispered quietly to herself as she looked at the Guild’s seal of approval on the paperwork clutched in her hands.

Her friend’s words barely making it into her ears, Hestia looked around the table.

There were many smiles. However, they were the dirty, drooling smiles of people who had just eaten a full-course meal and were about to get their dessert.

Her moment of truth had arrived.

She had said all those things to Bell before leaving but had failed to prepare a strategy, thinking that everything would work out by believing in the power of their love and courage…!