Iris in Bloom: Take a Chance, Book 2 (19 page)

Jack studied the lumpy troll coffee mug in his hands. “Not to be too critical of your birth mother but I think they betrayed each other. She got pregnant hoping that would make him leave his family. He thought he could have an affair with no consequences.”

“That sure didn’t work.”

“No, sweetheart it didn’t. And I would personally like to ram this sander down his throat for the way he treated you when you met him.”

“Thanks, Dad.” That still hurt when she thought about how eager she’d been to meet her ‘real’ father only to discover he preferred to pretend she didn’t exist.

Jack gestured to the half finished space that would house her office and a playroom for the child she hoped to have soon. “Is this what’s got you thinking about men and betrayal?”

“No. I’m – Dad, I think Geoff went back to his wife.”

Jack’s brows rose. “Geoff? But he’s crazy about you.”

“He was,” she said miserably. “But then he found out about my plan to have a child on my own and he wasn’t too thrilled about it.”

Jack turned and looked at her. “Couldn’t expect him to be.”

“You took on a pregnant woman,” she reminded him.

“But she didn’t go get pregnant while I was seeing her.”

She put her hands over her eyes. “Why does it have to be so complicated? I want a child. My doctor says I should do it soon. Then Geoff comes along. I like him. He likes me. But he’s still married and there is no way he’s ready for a serious relationship so soon. So I continue with my plan to have a child on my own. I don’t understand why that’s so bad. Wouldn’t it be worse if I used Geoff to get pregnant?”

“I think using people is always wrong.”

She shot him a glance. When her dad made cryptic utterances he was usually trying to get across an important message. “You think I
was
using him?”

“I don't know. Were you?”

“For affection? Companionship? Sex? Isn’t that what people do in a relationship?” She pushed her feet out in front of her, straight ahead so she could see the tips of her sneakers. “Anyway, I drove him straight back to his wife.” She scowled. “Which seems to be my specialty.”

Jack reached over to pat her knee. “Know what I think?”

“That I’m a terrible person?”

“Iris, you are one of the best people I know. But sometimes you jump to conclusions before you have all the information.”

“Why did he go to LA then? After he found out about my plan to get pregnant with a donor we had words. I haven’t seen him since. He doesn’t come into the café anymore. Today I went to his place and his neighbor said he’s in LA where his wife lives. So, maybe she changed her mind.”

“Maybe she did. Doesn’t mean he went back to her.”

“Why else would he drive hundreds of miles?”

Jack put the lumpen troll mug on the floor then used his free hands to enumerate. The forefinger of his right hand hit the tip of the forefinger of his left. “He could be moving some more of his possessions.” He banged the tip of his middle finger. “He could have an event he needs to attend.” Ring finger, where the silver hippy ring announced to the world that he belonged to Daphne. “He could be going to tell her that he’s not coming back.” Finally, he held out both hands. “And you’re right, he could be going to try and patch things up with her. I don’t know. But neither do you. So, before you accuse him of betraying you, maybe you should check your facts.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway. He made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“He was probably pretty hurt. I think I would be in his situation.”

“I guess I didn’t handle things very well. I told myself it was none of his business what I did with my body.”

“Relationships are never easy.”

“It seems like they are for some people. I always end up feeling like I was second best.”

“You are not ever second best,” he sounded angry. “Do you hear me?”

“You’re my dad. You have to say that.”

“I’ve known you almost your whole life. I’ve watched you and I’ve loved you and I’ve suffered with you. You are the best.”

She smiled feeling better because she knew how much Jack did believe in her, in all his kids. “You remember when Rob went back to his wife?”

“Of course I do. He broke your heart.”

She shook her head. “The funny thing is he didn’t. It hurt a lot but I think he did the right thing. Their break-up was caused by the stress of her mother dying, and some money issues. And it was so hard on the kids. He didn’t love me and I didn’t love him.” When she turned to look at Jack she knew that he already sensed what she was about to say. “With Geoff? I feel like my heart is broken.”

“Baby girl, sometimes you have to be clear about what you want and once you are, you have to fight for it.”

She glanced around at the space she was creating with a future family in mind. “So do I give up my dream of a child?”

Once more her dad reached out and gave her knee a pat. “Patience has never been your strong suit.”

She loved her dad, she really did, and as men went he was liberal and easy to talk to but there was no way she was going to discuss the intricacies of endometriosis with the man. Instead, she nodded. Then, she pushed back up to her feet.

“Okay,” she said. “This attic isn’t going to renovate itself.”

He gulped back the last of his coffee. “As I was saying,” and they both laughed.

Maybe her dad couldn’t solve her problems for her now that she was grown, but he was here, helping her prepare her house for the next stage in her life.

Chapter Twenty

The next stage in her life. A flutter of unease disturbed her as she cleaned her house on Sunday. There was extra dust from the renovation project upstairs and she felt like she needed to keep busy.

Her temperature had gone up this morning. Her hand drifted to her middle where that flutter of unease batted wings with the thrill of the possibility that she’d have a child within the year.

Even though she now understood that choosing having a child on her own meant not continuing with Geoff she felt the urge to have a child of her own as strong in her as ever.

Some people dreamed of making music, or becoming a doctor or any of a million childhood dreams. In a household that prided itself on feminism, she’d grown up loving to play mother to a host of dolls, then to her brothers and sisters. If that wasn’t enough to make Daphne shake her head, Iris’s other passion was cooking.

She thought that standing barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen would be heaven.

When she woke the next morning her temperature was still elevated. And so was her combination of anxiety and excitement.

Monday dawned with the kind of sunrise that seemed sent from heaven as a sign. She stood in the early morning, drinking a cup of coffee and staring at the glorious sky. She had a moment’s longing. How many mornings had Geoff stumbled out of bed much earlier than he had to so they could share this early time together?

Not even that many. A couple of months’ worth of mornings. She understood that every time you chose a path you abandoned the one going in another direction. She sipped coffee as dawn bloomed.

If she went ahead and got pregnant on her own then she and Geoff didn’t have a hope. But if she abandoned the baby path, or postponed it, then what? Great, maybe she and Geoff patched things up and carried on. But what were the chances he was going to be ready for kids? When they’d had their last argument he very clearly hadn’t offered to step into the role of baby daddy.

He’d been pissed that she hadn’t asked him to father her child, which spoke of ego, but he hadn’t even hinted that he’d consider doing it.

She rinsed out her coffee cup and resolutely made the phone call to set up her insemination procedure. She’d do it after work so she could come straight back home and lie down.

Sure, she’d read that it didn’t make a difference after the first fifteen minutes or so if you lay in bed or went cage fighting. But she didn’t care. She was coming home to lie down with her feet up. She’d give every sperm a chance, even the lazy ones with a bad sense of direction.

“What is wrong with you?” Dosana snapped around eleven that morning.

“Hmm?”

“You have been staring into the fridge for the past five minutes. First, it’s freezing in here and second we need to get ready for the lunch rush.”

“I’m sorry.” She snapped to attention, grabbed the butter she’d come for and closed the fridge door. Dosana was giving her a look that suggested she might be checking her for fever in a second. She stepped closer. “My temperature spiked.”

“You mean?”

“I’m ovulating!” She danced around in a circle, the butter still in her hand.

“So you’re going through with it?”

“My appointment with the clinic is at four o’clock today.”

“Wow. This is intense.” Dosana’s eyes glowed and Iris felt her own excitement hike up a notch. “How do you feel?”

“Scared. Excited. Hopeful. Trying not to get my hopes up too high because, you know, it can take several tries.”

Her assistant nodded. “But I know you. Once you get started, you’ll keep going until there’s a little Iris.”

“Probably.”

“This is so cool. If you need to head out early or anything, I can cover.”

“No. It’s fine. I’ll work until around three-thirty and then head out.”

“What about tomorrow? Do you need to stay in bed doing a headstand or something?”

She grinned. “It won’t help. Tomorrow I’ll be back here.”

“How long until you know whether it worked or not?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“I am not sure I can stand watching you zone out at the fridge door for two more weeks.”

She chuckled. “I’ll try really hard to act cool.”

“And don’t freak out if it doesn’t work the first time. You gotta promise me.”

“Do my best.”

Dosana gave her a quick hug. “Kay. Um, listen, while you’re in a good mood, can I talk to you about something?”

Panic flooded her. She grabbed Dosana’s arm. “No. You can’t quit. Absolutely not.”

The younger woman looked startled. “So not what I wanted to talk about.” She pushed her short hair back with the heel of her hand. “It’s about my personal life.”

“Okay.” Please let it not be something awful.

“I’m seeing someone.”

“That’s great.” She was so relieved.

Dosana took the butter out of Iris’s hand and put it on the work bench. “It’s Scott Beatty,” she said in a rush.

Iris blinked at her. “You and Scott Beatty?” But now she thought about it, he’d taken to talking to Dosana when he came in and she’d been so relieved. “Wow.”

“Are you okay with it? You said you weren’t interested in him, but now that you and Geoff, um, I mean, if you liked him –“

“Oh, no. No. Really. I think you two would be perfect together. He’s a nice guy.”

“He is.” Her assistant’s smile suggested that more than ‘nice’ was going through her mind.

“But what about the—you know?”

“Kinky sex?”

She nodded.

Dosana twinkled at her. “Let’s just say, he has forgotten all about his ex.”

Iris probably would have asked questions she’d later regret getting the answers to but luckily the bell rang. “Better get back out front,” Dosana said and she was gone.

For the rest of the day Iris tried extra hard not to act like a fool. It was ridiculous. There’d been a moment this morning when she’d thought that if Geoff came in before heading to school that she’d wait a cycle. At least long enough for them to have a conversation.

But she was glad he hadn’t come in. She didn’t want to be distracted by a guy who could only ever be temporary. She was a grown up with specific goals. Some sleepy eyed, sexy as hell schoolteacher was not going to change her game plan.

No matter how much she missed him.

Geoff woke up Monday morning still feeling like he was on a highway. He’d driven from LA straight through to Hidden Falls, a drive which was smooth apart from one accident that halted traffic for a half hour and a couple of mysterious slow downs where traffic crawled for a while for no reason he could see and then went back to normal speeds. He’d driven the entire trip in a day, which was foolish. The drive alone was fifteen hours. Add in a couple of meals and stretch breaks and he’d been sixteen hours on the road. Didn’t get to his place until two and had to teach in the morning.

Never again, he swore to himself as he brushed his teeth. Then grinned at himself in the mirror. Never again was right. He had no need to go back to LA.

He was free.

Excitement churned in his belly. This was the day he laid it all on the line for Iris. He felt absurdly anxious, like if he didn’t run right over there he’d be too late.

He was feeling crazy from lack of sleep, he knew. For a second he considered dropping in for his coffee and muffin on the way to school but he was already running late. He looked like shit from lack of sleep and too many hours driving. Besides, there wouldn’t be time to talk.