Into the Void (The Godhunter, Book 10) (23 page)

“Mom,” Vidar came walking up the path to the little grassy spot in the center of the butterfly garden. Sunlight was streaming down through the screened ceiling, making his long black hair shine like glass. It was braided down his back, showing off the lines of his cheekbones and jaw.

“
Vidar,” I smiled and patted the grass beside me. “How are you?”

“
I'm good,” he handed me a piece of paper. “But I wish Dad was back. I just wasn't meant to rule Asgard.”

“
Not an easy job, huh?” I slid a hand over his wide shoulder. He had Odin's physique but his looks were all me, or Sabine rather. I could only wish for eyes that blue, mine had been brown since I was nine months old.

“
It's weighing on me a little,” he admitted.

“
Can Vali help you?”

“
Perhaps,” he looked distracted for a moment and then his face cleared. “But hopefully this will be successful and I can just hand the reins back to Dad.”

“
What's this?” I opened the folded paper and started reading.

“
I found the spell you need,” he waved a hand to the page. “That's the translation, though you'll have to use the original text for the chant itself. Oddly enough, the chant itself wasn't Old Norse.”

“
What was it?”

“
It's not a language I recognize,” he shrugged.

“
It says I need a physical piece of his body to form a connection with his spirit,” I looked up as a wave of defeat crashed over me. “I don't think I have anything from his actual body, only his things.”

“
I may know where we can find something,” he grinned at me.

“
Really?” My heart sped up with hope. Please don't let me have come this far only to be denied now.

“
Come on,” he stood up and held a hand out to me. “We can go right now.”

He helped me up and we made our way out of the garden, walking down the central path that now had several other paths branching off of it. A stream flowed along one side with colorful koi in it, a reminder of my Hawaiian home, and it fit in perfectly with the tropical flowers that had found their way in amongst the lush foliage. Butterflies were everywhere, floating happily about and enjoying the fruit I'd set out for them on hanging platters. They added another layer of color and a delicate movement that always set me at ease.

The scent of roses, puakenikeni(a Hawaiian flower), and vanilla orchids perfumed the air and rose petals of pink, white, and deep red littered the white stone path in several places. Above us, the trees closed in, branches hanging low as if in blessing, and right before we exited, we passed under an arbor overflowing with wisteria, the purple bunches of blooms a preview of what the butterflies would look like later in the evening, when they gathered in great hanging groups for sleep. The arbor also had a curtain of netting that we passed through carefully, checking to be sure no butterflies had caught a ride out on our shoulders.

“
It's beautiful in there,” Vidar said as I closed the French doors behind us and laid the paper on a bedside table.

“
Thank you,” I looked down at my light cotton dress. “Should I change?”

“
Yeah, that might be a good idea,” he mused. “You'll need something a little warmer, and put on some boots as well.”

“
Alright,” I went into the closet and quickly changed into jeans, a long sleeved black shirt, and some leather boots. I added a leather jacket just in case and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I loved the length of it but it could get in the way. I know now why a lot of women with super long hair get sick of it and hack it all off. It can be annoying when you sit on it for the hundredth time but it's my favorite thing about myself and I thought my vanity worth the inconvenience. We all need something to make us feel pretty.

“
Gloves maybe?” Vidar frowned. “You stay pretty warm all by yourself now, right?”

I frowned, noticing that he'd brought a thick jacket with him and had put it on while I was changing in the closet. I turned around without another word and went back in to put on some gloves and a thick scarf.

“Okay, better?” I held my arms out.

“
Good,” he nodded.

We went out into the hallway and took the elevator down to the ground floor, where we went straight to the tracing room. I guess I should have told someone I was leaving but I didn't even know where we were going yet and I had a feeling this would be someplace rather personal. I wanted it to be just me and my son.

Vidar took my hand and nodded to me. We both stepped forward and he guided me through the Aether, taking us straight to his intended location. I felt my body change to pure thought and was surprised that the feeling was more comfortable now. Training to astral project had given my body a better understanding of the experience and it seemed to accept it easier.

I took a deep breath when we arrived and then another. The air was crisp and very clean, almost as pure as the air in Faerie. There was the light scent of pine in the air and I realized we were surrounded by the lush evergreens. We appeared to be on the side of a mountain, it was very cold and snow was everywhere, coating everything in pristine white. My feet crunched in it when I took a step forward and my breath shot out of me in a misty cloud. There was a sheer rock face in front of us and a sloping edge behind us covered in trees.

“Where are we?” I narrowed my eyes on a patch of thick shrubs directly in front of us.

“
Sabine's grave,” Vidar said softly and pulled aside the shrubs before putting his shoulder to a boulder behind them. The stone moved easily for him but then it helps to have god strength. Behind it was a small opening in the mountain. He cleared away some hanging debris and pulled a flashlight out of his jacket. “Are you okay?” He asked when he realized I wasn't following him in.

“
Yeah, I just,” I blinked at him. “You could have prepared me a little better for this.”

“
I'm sorry,” he came back out and took my arm. “I didn't want you to obsess over it before we even arrived. This is not you anymore, Mom. This is only a shell, like Dad's body would have been a shell compared to the new one he'll have.”

“
Right,” I nodded and let him lead me into the cave. “I'm obviously not there anymore. It's just a little unnerving to walk into your own grave.”

“
Dad left a lock of his hair here,” Vidar explained as he navigated the dark. The beam of light flashed back and forth over gray rock, dirt, and pieces of natural detritus scattered about but soon there was nothing but stone. The path was fairly clean, as if no one had been in the cave since it was sealed.

We came to a torch, laid on an old wooden chest along the wall. Vidar picked it up and handed it to me. I blew a small stream of fire onto the dry tip and it caught, sending even more light over the tunnel. It didn't go very far back, only a few more feet to where it opened up into a little room. There was a bracket for the torch on the wall and I put it there.

In the center of the cave was a rock platform. The side was carved with a beautiful picture of a couple holding hands and laughing. Then there were scenes with children, wolves, and ravens. It was us, our life together, and it made my throat constrict to see it. I looked further up with great effort and inhaled sharply.

The body on the pale silk pallet that topped the stone was perfectly preserved. She was old, her skin wrinkled with lines of happiness, her hair flowing in a white fall down to her hips, but there was no rot to the body at all. Her face looked peaceful, a faint smile hovering about her mouth, and I stepped forward with the strangest sense of deja vu.

My hand reached out and came into contact with the cold skin. I flinched, images filling my head, and suddenly I was somewhere else. I stood on a mountainside similar to the one outside the cave. The wind was blowing my hair into my face and I impatiently tied it back.

“
You should leave it loose,” someone said from behind me. I turned around and there he was. Odin, his hair wild around him, dark brown with golden strands shot through. His eyes were focused on me, such a beautiful color, I couldn't look away.

“
Leave what loose?” I finally asked him.

“
Your hair,” he smiled and it was the arrogant smile of a man who always got what he wanted.

“
And you should find another girl to pursue,” I turned back to the task of herb harvesting that my father had set me to. “One who you actually might win with false smiles and silly compliments.”

He became so quiet that I looked over my shoulder to see if he'd left. He hadn't, he was staring at me with a new expression, one I liked even less than his previous arrogance. Determination.

The memory shifted and he was on bended knee before me, arrogance gone completely and determination muffled beneath a more shocking emotion in his eyes. He held a hand to my cheek, one finger lightly stroking my skin, as his other hand clasped both of mine.

“
Sabine,” his voice was a whisper, carried away by the mountain breezes. “I've known women of beauty so perfect that no human could ever hope to attain it and I've held women so passionate that their very touch could set me aflame but I've never known this beautiful consuming fire that you've lit in me. I never knew that a woman's face could become so precious, not for the graceful curve of her cheek or the fineness of her skin, but for the words that fall from her lips and the spark of courage within her eyes. I cannot live without-”

“
Stop,” I heard myself say. “I want no part of the life of a god. Take your vows of love elsewhere, Odin.”

“
I will never speak these words to another woman, Sabine,” he stood and faced me proudly. “Deny me all you want but you know in your heart that there is no other for your than me.”

Everything shifted again. It was my father's funeral and Odin stood beside me, holding my hand. There was only me and my sisters left and he took care of us, watched over our land when others tried to take it from us. I saw him riding a massive horse through the night, casting judgment upon those men who thought to steal from my family. Then there was the pound of hooves vibrating through the earth as he rode back to me, his strong hands upon my waist, lifting me into the saddle before him. It was the first time he took me to Asgard.

He reined in the horse upon an open cliff and jumped from the saddle before pulling me down into his arms. He tasted like cloves and sweet apples when he kissed me, his hands pulling me tight against him. My hands were laid across his chest between us, the feel of his heart thumping into my fingertips as he pulled away from me and then lifted me up above him.

“
This is where you belong,” he declared. “Here with the gods or in the sky among the stars. Look at how you outshine them.”

“
Odin,” I whispered. “I will wither and die while you go on forever, unchanged.”

“
You don't have to, Sabine,” he brought me back to the earth. “You can live forever with me.”

“
No, sweet raven,” I shook my head sadly. “Life is meant to be a cycle. We are born, we age, and we die.”

“
Then age and die within my arms,” his hands went to the sides of my face. “Let me love you and I will do so until I take my last breath. I will stand beside you through this life and wait for you to return to me in the next. Marry me, Sabine.”

The memories started to come faster then. Our wedding, the way he laughed and lifted me into the air when our vows were complete. Then our first night as a married couple, so tender and passionate. How he laid across my belly afterward and I just stroked my hand through his hair, hardly believing that I'd married a god. There was the first time I met Vali, I knew immediately that he'd claim a piece of my heart, and sure enough, he became my first son. I saw the birth of Vidar too, saw Odin's overjoyed face  when he held Vidar for the first time. He'd been a tiny baby, I never would have imagined him to grow into such a man. The memory of the day Vidar chose to become immortal filled me, how I had cried for him and he for me. The sadness was overwhelmed by all the endless days of happiness that we shared together though. So many bright moments that shone in my heart now. Then the hands that reached for Odin became weathered, spotted with age, and the face I saw reflected in his beautiful eyes was lined and tired. It was time for me to move on.

“Don't leave, Sabine, not yet.” I heard Odin cry as the memories started to fade.

I coughed roughly, stepping back from the body and choking back the tears that threatened to fall. I'd felt so certain that Odin would forget me once I was dead. It had never occurred to me that all his words of love and forever had been the truth. Lovers often speak of eternity without truly understanding what they say. The heart feels it at the time but the mind doesn't really know the meaning of the words. I shouldn't have doubted him, should have known that a god does understand what forever means and even though Odin had been called the Oathbreaker, he'd never broken a promise to me.