Into the Still Blue (31 page)

He nodded, a smile lighting in his eyes. “I think I’ve glimpsed that part already.”

He was teasing her, letting warmth come through. If she wanted to know him, she’d have to return it. She couldn’t, and she didn’t know why, because she
wanted
to.

As the seconds passed, the lines around Loran’s eyes deepened with disappointment.

One of his men called to him, drawing his attention away. Loran turned to leave, but then he paused, looking back at her. “You’re assigned to Sable’s Hover—his orders. Nothing I can change, but I tried to put all your friends on the same craft as well.”

Aria watched him walk away, waiting until he was out of hearing range before she let herself say, “Thank you.”

Two hours later, she stepped out of the cave with her satchel over one shoulder and Perry’s over the other.

Talon had helped her sort through the trunks in Perry’s tent, though he had warned her repeatedly that his uncle Perry didn’t really care very much about those old things. She’d known that too. Perry cared about his bow and his knife. He cared about his land and about hunting, and most of all about people. But books? Shirts and socks? Not important to him.

She’d packed a few of her favorite items anyway, taking special care with the collection of falcon figures he’d carved with Talon. Perry’s belongings were more than what she had—which was nothing. If he didn’t want them, she’d claim them herself. His things already felt like they were hers, and his shirts were more than mere shirts. Maybe she was losing her mind, but they meant something to her just because they were his.

Now she carried her leather satchel and his, along with his bow and quiver, the weight of his belongings a poor substitute for him. For the arm she wished were resting across her shoulders instead.

Aria stopped just before leaving the cave. Most everyone was outside already, and only a few people were gathered at the stage. Perry wasn’t one of them.

She was beginning to think he was avoiding her.

She shifted the satchels higher on her shoulders, taking one final look. “Good-bye, cave. I never want to see you again.”

She stepped outside onto the sand and made her way up the switchback trail that climbed the bluff. Roar and Talon walked ahead of her with Willow and Flea. Behind her were Soren and Caleb. All she heard was the wind and their steps, and the crash of the waves growing more faint.

She felt like her head wasn’t attached to the rest of her body. Like she wasn’t attached to the earth or even to the air around her.

They were leaving. It was what she’d wanted. What was necessary. But it felt too sudden. Too wrong, with Sable. And too empty, without Perry.

As she crested the bluff, she saw the Hovers, spread in lines over the rough terrain. Giants perched on the edge of the earth. The fleet was a sight that had amazed her once. Now her eyes moved right past the massive craft, scanning the people milling around in search of a tall figure with blond hair.

Aria spotted him at the same moment he saw her. Perry stood with Cinder and Marron, the three of them huddled close. Roar, Soren, and the others flowed past her, but she couldn’t move.

Perry came to her.

He walked over, and stood before her with swollen, red eyes. He’d been crying. She hated that he had hurt so much and she hadn’t been there.

“You’ve been gone,” she said stupidly.

“I couldn’t leave Cinder.” He looked down, his gaze falling to the falcon carving in her hand. She didn’t realize she’d been holding it. She didn’t even know when she’d taken it out of his pack.

Perry took it carefully from her hand. “You kept this.”

“Of course I did,” she said. “You gave it to me.”

She’d taken it all the way to Rim and back.

Perry ran his thumb over it. A faint smile came to his lips. “I should give you one of my arrows. I make better arrows than falcons.”

Aria bit her lip, dread snaking in her stomach. He was making small talk. Almost everyone had loaded up. Only a few people were left, making their way into the Hovers.

He lifted his head, and the look in his eyes made her breath catch. “I didn’t know how to say this, Aria.”

“Just tell me what it is. You’re scaring me.”

She saw tears in his eyes, and she knew what he’d say before he uttered a word.

“I have to go with Cinder. I can’t let him go alone.”

38

P
erry saw the exact moment that Aria understood. Her eyes flew open and her temper washed over him, pure ice. He kept talking, trying to explain.

“Cinder is going in his own Hover. . . . He’ll have to pull ahead of the fleet at the barrier of Aether, and I’m going with him.” His throat felt like it was closing up, but he pressed ahead. “What’s out there sounds bigger than anything any of us has ever seen. And you know the way he is afterward. If it doesn’t kill him, he’ll be close to dying. Maybe . . . maybe he won’t come out of it.”

Perry stared at the tufts of sea grass by his foot, unable to look at her anymore. He watched the fine blades blowing in the wind, and drew a few trembling breaths before he continued.

“I’m the only person he trusts. The
only
one. How can I ask him to go out there for us, if I won’t fight for him—for
his
life? And he’s terrified, Aria. If I’m not with him, I don’t know if he’ll go through with it. We’d all lose if that happened.”

Perry had talked it over with Marron and Cinder earlier in the Battle Room. He and Marron had even planned for the possible outcomes, and who would lead the Tides should he not make it back. Then Marron had left to speak to the Tides and, after, to arrange everything with Sable.

Now Perry looked up. Tears brimmed in Aria’s eyes. Discussing the consequences of his death had been easier than telling her that he had to leave her.

“I’ll go with you,” she said.

“
No
. Aria, you can’t.”

“Why not? Why is it all right for you to go?”

“Because I need you to watch Talon.” He let out a breath, frustrated with himself. That hadn’t come out right. “What I meant is that if I don’t come back, Molly will take him, but I want him to grow up knowing you and Roar. We don’t have any family left, but you—” His voice snagged. He swallowed. Couldn’t believe the things coming from his mouth. “You and Roar are that to me. And I want Talon to have you both. For anything he needs.”

“Perry, how can I say no to that?” she said desperately.

He knew she couldn’t.

“So are we saying
good-bye
?”

“Only for a while.”

Movement further along the bluff drew his attention. The Six were approaching, their strides long and faces grim. Others, too. Proof that word had spread despite his hope it wouldn’t. He didn’t want to say four hundred good-byes. He couldn’t bear it. This one with Aria had already broken him open.

Quickly, he pulled Aria close. “Do you hate me?”

“You know I don’t.”

“You should.”

“I don’t,” she said again. “How could I ever?”

He kissed her head and then spoke with his lips on her skin, like he might make what he said more permanent. More true. “I promise you,” he whispered. “We’ll both get there, and I’ll find you.”

He would do it. If he survived.

39

A
ria watched Perry as he spoke with the each of the Six. Gren and Twig first. Then Hyde, Hayden, and Straggler. He went to Reef last, and then moved on, speaking with Molly and Bear.

She didn’t hear anything they said. Their words were lost to her. Their clasped hands and fierce embraces seemed unreal. Brooke came over, linking arms with her. Aria felt surprise and gratitude, faint and quickly fading away.

Some time later she found herself in front of a Dragonwing. It was like someone had flipped a switch to shut her off, carried her there, and powered her back on.

Cinder, Willow, and Talon sat on the edge of the Hover, legs swinging as they took turns tossing a ball to Flea. Aria blinked, recognition filtering through her dulled mind. It was a tennis ball, the lime green bright as a shout in the gray dawn. She stared at it, marveling over the artifact, this thing that had been absent. Preserved for hundreds of years. Had the owner decided it wasn’t worth bringing on the journey to the Still Blue? Had it been carefully guarded for lifetimes only to end up in Flea’s mouth?

She heard Roar’s voice behind her, and turned.

“I never should have introduced you to Cinder,” he said to Perry.

“You didn’t,” Perry replied.

They stood alone, some twenty paces off. The crowds had thinned; most everyone had loaded into the Hovers already. Aether clawed down across the sky, the sound of the funnels loud in her ears. They were leaving just in time. The funnels were almost on top of them.

“But you met him because of me,” Roar said.

“Yeah.” Perry crossed his arms. “I did.”

They both looked over, noticing her. Neither of them looked away. They watched her, their faces grave and worried, like they thought she might blow right off the edge of the bluff. Nearby, one of the Hover engines buzzed to life. Then another and another, until her ears filled with the sound, and she didn’t hear the Aether shrieking anymore.

Her attention moved to a group coming toward them.

Horn guards. Her father. And Sable.

It was almost time to leave.

As Roar spoke again to Perry, Aria found herself, shutting out the sounds of the Hovers, the wind and the surf below, and the storms, focusing solely on them.

“I don’t like this idea, Perry.”

“I knew you wouldn’t.”

Roar nodded. “Right.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We’ll be waiting for you.”

Perry had told Aria that he’d return, but he made no such promise to Roar now. As the pause stretched out between them, she wondered if Perry had only said what she’d wanted to hear.

“All right then, brother,” Roar said at last.

They embraced—quickly, firmly—something Aria realized she’d never seen before and never wanted to see again. It made them look scared and breakable, and they weren’t. They were magnificent, both of them.

Perry moved closer and called to Talon, who jumped down and met his uncle. Kneeling, Perry took Talon’s face in his hands, and then Talon was crying and she had to look away.