Into the Garden (20 page)

"I have to get home," Star shouted into Jade's ear. "I want to help Granny tonight."
Jade nodded, paid the bill, and led us out to her waiting limousine.
Even inside the car and away from the noise, my ears still rang.
"I think I'm going deaf," I moaned.
They all laughed at me.
"I guess it's your first time in a dance club," Jade said. I nodded.
"I usually bring some earplugs," she told me.
Misty leaned against Jade, her eyes closed. Jade put her arm around her and looked at Star and me.
"Girls," she said, "it's time we stopped mourning our dead families. Good times are all we should think about. Tomorrow, at our meeting, let's start presenting some candidates for our first party." Misty perked up.
"Really?" she asked.
"I think we're almost ready," Jade said. "Star?"
"Right," she said. "But remember what Jade said. We're not inviting any other girls. We're being prudent"
"All right, stop teasing me," Jade begged.
"Why Princess Jade, don't tell me you're sensitive after all," Star said. "Don't tell me you're admitting any weakness."
Jade's face grew dark and serious.
"I've already done that, Star. We all have."
She lifted her toy wand.
"Now it's time to wish it all away," she said
Everyone watched her wave the wand like someone trying to hypnotize us. Star started to laugh, but Misty suddenly sat up.
"I think it worked," she cried, smiling as if she really had been touched by something magical.
"Me too," Jade agreed. She looked at Star.
"Absolutely felt it," Star said.
They all turned to me.
"Yes," I said. "It's a new beginning."
We were all quiet. I gazed out the window at the city streets as we wove our way back through the darkness of our troubled thoughts, searching for the promise of tomorrow.

She had a picture of herself, two other girls from her school, and three boys down at the Santa Monica Pier near the merry-go-round. We were all sitting in the living room for another of what we were now calling our OWP meetings. This one was called to organize our first party.

"This is David," she said, pointing to the tall, dark haired, slim, good-looking boy who stood behind her in the picture. She paused in front of each of us for a moment with the picture and then stepped back, looking very proud and satisfied and obviously expecting us to have an immediate similar reaction.

Star glanced at me and raised her eyes toward the ceiling.
"So?" she said.
"David's father is one of the principal owners of the Ascot Theater, which translates into free tickets and good seats to rock concerts all year. He lives in Woodside Village, right near Century City, which is probably where we would live if we didn't live where we do."
"You want to invite a boy to our party so you can get free tickets to rock shows?" Star pursued.
"No, silly. I can afford the tickets, and I probably could get pretty good seats, too."
"So?"
"Well, he's good looking, isn't he?"
"Let me see that picture again," Star replied, curling her fingers at her fast and furiously.
I looked at Misty, who covered her smile with her hand. We both knew Star was teasing Jade. Nevertheless, Star studied the picture as if she really was considering David's good looks. She shrugged and handed the picture back to Jade.
"His eyes are too close together. Granny says never trust a man whose eyes are close."
"Oh, pleeeze," Jade cried. "His eyes aren't too close and that's just some old wives' tale,
superstition."
"Don't disregard superstitions. There's a lot of wisdom in them," Star insisted, wagging her finger at Jade. Jade looked at us.
"What do you two think'"
"What else can you tell us about him?" Misty asked.
"Yeah, what else?" Star followed. She sat back with her arms folded under her breasts and pressed her lips together as if she was really sitting in judgment on some jury to decide the future of Jade's romances.
"He's had this thing for me forever," Jade said. "Up until now I've been polite, but noncommittal "
"You mean you've been teasing him," Star said. "No," Jade said. "I have not."
"So why didn't you ever go out with him? You sure you're not just playing with him?" Star asked, shaking her head with disapproval.
"No, I wasn't playing with him. I don't do that... much," she added with a coy smile. She looked serious again. "I didn't think he was sophisticated enough for me, but he's matured and, despite what you think, become quite handsome as he got older."
"I didn't say he was ugly," Star relented.
"The point is he'll value an invitation from me and respect it and us, and he knows how to behave at a party," she continued. "I've been thinking seriously about going out with him and this will make for the best opportunity to see if he and I jell."
"Jell?" Star asked, her eyebrows hoisting. "What are you doing, making jam?"
"Laugh if you want, but I think he makes for an excellent candidate and that's my choice. Well?" Star shrugged.
"I don't have any objections," Misty said. "Cat?"
"I guess he's fine," I said, glancing at Star. "Fine," she agreed.
"Thank you," Jade said, and sat. "So? Who's next?"
"I was thinking about asking Chris Wells," Misty announced, "but I don't have a picture of him"
"Just describe him," Jade said.
"He's only a little taller than I am, cute and shy, with long blond hair he's always brushing away from his eyes. Deep blue, by the way," she added. "I've had a crush on him for a long time, but I always felt he looked at me as if I was five years old or something."
"So why do you want to invite him?" Star asked.
"Well, lately, he's been different," Misty revealed with a suggestive smile. "He lives nearby and on at least two occasions, he stopped by when I was outside. Once, when I was washing the car and once when I was reading a magazine. He talked a lot and stood there watching me, and the way he looks at me now is a lot different. You know how sometimes a boy has an expression on his face that makes you feel naked? It's something like that. I think he was this much away from asking me on a date," she added, holding up her thumb and forefinger.
"Why didn't he ask?" Star questioned
suspiciously.
"Like I said, he's very shy," Misty said. "Which I like," she quickly added. "Too many boys think they can say anything they want to you, even if you're a complete stranger. Chris is ...the sensitive type," she decided after a moment.
"Maybe he's so shy and so sensitive, you'll scare him when you invite him," Star said.
"Maybe she won't," Jade interjected. "Does he hang around with a nice crowd or what?"
"Yeah, his friends are okay," Misty said. "My mother likes his family, if that means anything"
"Snob city," Star muttered.
"We're just trying to reassure ourselves, and do due diligence," Jade defended.
"Do what?" Star asked.
"Check their backgrounds so we don't invite the wrong people," Jade explained. "Isn't that why we're having this meeting?"
"Excuse me, I forgot." She turned to Misty. "Do you know his blood type?" she asked.
"What?"
"We should also get a urine sample," she continued. "Very funny," Jade said. "Who do you want to invite, big shot?"
Star laughed and threw an impish glance my way before settling back.
"Remember when I was telling you about Lily Porter's cousin, Larry?" Star asked.
"No," Jade said.
"Passed right over your head or below your nose?" Star asked her, eyes blazing.
"
I
forgot, all right? We haven't exactly been doing nothing these days," she explained in a highpitched voice.
"I remember," I said. "He's in the army, right?"
"That's right, Cat. Good. How did you remember with all that's going on?" she asked, giving Jade a side glance "Must be you think of something else besides your nail polish."
"That's not fair," Jade cried.
"All right, I'm sorry. Anyway, he's coming home on Tuesday and I'm going to meet him and I was thinking," she said, smiling, "if he's all he looks like, I'd invite him."
"That sounds good," Misty said. "He'll certainly be mature being in the army and all."
"Oh, he's mature," Star said, smiling. "He's twenty."
"Twenty? Why, he's closing in on social security," Jade quipped, seizing the opportunity for payback. "Why go out with such an old man?"
Star glared at her a moment and then broke into a smile.
"Okay, one for you," she said.
Their attention turned to me.
"Who do you want to invite, Cat?" Jade asked.
"I don't know anyone," I said.
"Isn't there anyone you'd like to know?" Misty asked. I shook my head.
"I don't know anyone well enough to invite to a party. I mean, there are boys I wish I knew, but I've never said two words to any of them."
Everyone was silent.
"In that case I would like to suggest I ask David to bring his cousin Stuart along," Jade said. "They're together quite often and Stuart is good looking, too, and very polite."
"A blind date?" Misty asked
"Cat wouldn't mind, would you, Cat?" Jade asked me. "I don't want to ruin it for everyone else," I said.
"You won't. I know for a fact that Stuart doesn't go out that much and he's not going with anyone. He's just right for you," Jade insisted.
"Who are you? Cupid?" Star asked.
"It's our first party. If they don't get along, it's not the end of the world, you know." She turned back to me. "Stuart's about David's height with darker brown hair. He looks a little like Christian Slater and he's very intelligent, an A-plus student."
"Then he'll think I'm stupid," I said.
"No, he won't. Why should he? You don't do badly in school," Jade countered.
"I haven't done well this year. I missed a lot of school, as you know."
"You're not looking for a job, Cat. You're just meeting some brainy, spoiled, rich kid," Star said. "This isn't going to be an audition or anything."
"Don't listen to her. Stuart's not spoiled," Jade said. She shot one of her sharp, hot looks Star's way. "You don't even know him"
"He's rich, he's spoiled," Star insisted. "But that's okay. That's fine," she said, holding up her hands. "I'm getting used to spoiled people."
"I feel sorry for this Larry," Jade said, shaking her head. "After he meets you, he'll wish he was back in boot camp."
"Is that right? Well, let's just wait and see where he wants to be after he meets me. He might even go AWOL just to keep me happy."
"Oh, brother." Jade stared at her and then they both laughed. Misty smiled at me.
"This is beginning to sound exciting," she said. "Right?"
My heart had begun to race with the thought of being on a blind date. If they all had a good time and my date didn't, I would be like the lead weight I was afraid I'd be and the party would be ruined. It seemed so important to them, too.
"Okay then," Jade said, "we've got our list. Now let's plan the party. I want this to really go well for all of us, and," she said, gazing at me, "especially for Cat."
"Amen to that," Star said.
We talked about the menu and then had a small argument about having liquor. Misty and Jade wanted it; Star thought it might make for trouble.
"Especially if one of us drinks too much," she pointed out. "Something might be said that we'll all regret," she warned.
"That won't happen," Jade insisted.
"When you're having a good time and there's music and stuff, you just can't help it sometimes. All one of us has to do is make one little mistake "
"You're making it sound terrible and dangerous just to have a good time here. It's why we're doing all this," Jade declared, holding up her arms. "If we can't have fun-- mature, intelligent fun--what's the use?"
"I just want us to be cautious, is all," Star replied. All of us were quiet for a few moments.
"The boys are going to be looking for booze," Jade said. "We have the house to ourselves, all this freedom, they'll think we're nerds or something. Do you think your army boyfriend is going to want lemonade?"
"Maybe we should just have some beer," Star relented. "Beer? I hate beer!" Jade moaned. She looked at me. "Do you like beer?"
"I haven't really drunk much," I said.
"See?"
"All right," Star said, "have booze, but don't blame me if it goes bad."
"It won't," Jade maintained. She thought a moment. "I'll make this punch drink and I won't put in that much."
"You mix booze with stuff and you get sick faster," Star said.
"Brother."
"I'm just telling you. Unfortunately, I know about it," Star reminded us.
"Okay, we'll be extra careful," Jade promised. "Music," she said. "I'll bring some of my new CD's." She looked around. "I think we should fix up this room, move out some of this furniture so we can dance."
"Call back the Salvation Army?" Misty asked
"No, not give it away. Just move it someplace for the night," Jade explained. "Maybe we can put some of it in the dining room."
"Okay with me," Star said. She looked at me and I nodded.
"We've got the date, the time, the menu, and the plan. It's going to be a great first party," Jade declared.
Misty smiled and I tried to look optimistic.
"Just one more thing," Star said, leaning toward us. "What?" Jade asked.
"Let's be sure to keep everyone out of the backyard. Just in case I didn't do all that good a job."
"You did. Stop worrying," Jade chastised.
Star leaned back.
"Granny always tells me an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."
"Spare me all the wisdom," Jade moaned.
"That's your trouble, Jade. Someone already did that."
Misty and I almost laughed and then stopped because neither Star nor Jade was smiling. It would take more than one good party to make us forget who we were and why we were brought together. Maybe, we'd never forget long enough to have a good time after all.
As far as forgetting went, it was just about impossible for me to not think about my father and fear his return. Not an hour of a day went by when I didn't pause to listen more closely to a sound I had heard in the house or a car that seemed to have pulled into my driveway. I gazed out of the window so often anyone passing by would have wondered if I was being held prisoner or something.
However, despite the storm clouds that always seemed to hover on our horizon, the closer we drew to the night of the party, the more excited we all became. Star's initial meeting with Larry turned out better than she had anticipated. Larry not only wanted to see her again and said he would come to the party, he called her every day there- after and took her to dinner one night. Jade reported that David Kellerman was very excited about the invitation and then called to say his cousin was even more eager to come and to meet me, which put me in a panic.
Jade took control of my makeover, but would any hairstyle, any makeup, any new clothing have much of an impact on my appearance? I was still clumping around with a cast on my leg, of course. And what about my limited and troubled experiences with boys? Would I quickly make a fool of myself and ruin the evening?
The day before the party, Jade took me to her hairstylist. She spent most of the time trimming my hair evenly and complaining about the job my last stylist had done. I was too embarrassed to say it had been Geraldine. After that, she cut my hair in a shortish, graduated bob. My hair was then blown dry and sprayed with a gloss lacquer. I had never had anything like it done before.
"Now that's an up-to-date hairdo," Jade cried, and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt my heart skip.
Was that really me? It changed my whole appearance. I no longer looked dragged out and tired. It was so difficult to think of myself as attractive. Geraldine's admonitions against vanity resonated like a drumbeat in my head.
"What are you looking at, Cathy? Are you going to fall in love with your own face, too?"
I could hear her ask.
Back at the house, Jade experimented on my face with different shades of makeup, eyeliner, and lipsticks while Star and Misty sat in judgment, everyone arguing about the results.
"That makes her eyes too large."
"That's too much of a contrast."
"You're ruining the graceful line in her lips."
My face was smeared, painted, and changed so much, my skin began to feel raw. Finally, they all agreed on a shade of lipstick that flattered me and everyone decided the rest of my makeup should be subtle.
Misty wanted us all to wear our mythic clothes again, but Jade had a new designer dress she wanted to wear and she insisted I go with her and buy something new, just for the party.
"I always buy something new whenever there's an occasion," she told me.
She decided I looked very good in a black strappy gown, even with my leg in a cast. It had a low neckline, one that would have driven Geraldine to paint an A on my chest, but Jade insisted that I stopped being ashamed of what she called my "assets." In the end I relented and bought the dress.
Jade had brought over a selection of clothes for Star to try, and Star settled on a low cut Anna Sui dress, augmented by a push-up bra. Jade insisted she wear high-heeled sandals, which Star happened to have.