Intimate Caresses (The Love and Danger Series) (14 page)

The following morning, Brock was determined to get to the bottom of their biggest issue.  “What’s going on?” Brock demanded of Nina, stepping into the kitchen with only his jeans, arms crossed over his chest as he tried to control his temper. 

Nina swung around, her eyes wide and she couldn’t help the startled reaction when she saw his massive chest and those delicious arms.  All those bulging muscles were going to be her downfall, she thought. 

“Nothing is going on.”

His lips compressed and he narrowed his eyes.  “Except that you don’t trust me with whatever is on that computer over there.”

Nina’s eyes dropped to her juice.  “It isn’t that I don’t trust you.”

“Then tell me what you’re working on.”

She stepped back, not even aware of doing it.  “Why do you want to know so badly?”

Brock leaned forward, bracing his hands on the counters
.  “It only matters because you don’t trust me enough to tell me what you’re spending a large portion of your evenings working on.  It only matters because it is obviously something important to you and yet you won’t discuss it with me.”

She set the glass of orange juice down on the counter, trying to figure out how to ease his anger.  He had a good point, which was part of the problem.  “Brock…”

“Don’t try and come up with some sort of excuse, Nina.  That won’t work anymore.”

She shrugged.  “We’ve only known each other for a few days, Brock.”

“And I already know that you’re the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.  I’m just waiting for you to realize that’s what you want from me.”

She gasped, shaking her head.  “I don’t ever want to get married again.”

He tried to calm down, to show her that they could talk about this rationally.  “Why?  What happened between you and your ex-husband that was so horrible?”

Nina was becoming angry as well.  “You’ve never been married!  You don’t know what it’s like to unravel two lives that are so intertwined.”

“I’ve been in long term relationships before, Nina.”

She gasped, feeling betrayed.  She didn’t have any right to feel that way, but for some reason, she seriously
didn’t like the fact that some other woman had been in his life before.  “Who was she?” Nina demanded, her hands fisting by her sides.

“There were two women,” he told her. 

“And did you love them?”

He rubbed his forehead
, trying to be as honest as possible so she could understand his point of view.  “I thought I did.  One of them cheated on me and another just sort of drifted away.  But in the end, it was just easier to stay in the relationship than to end it.”  He looked into her eyes as he said, “And what I felt for them wasn’t anything like what I feel for you.  I know this is the real deal with you, Nina.”

She bit her lip, trying to come to terms with that statement.  “How long were those two relationships?”

Brock shook his head.  “Nina, we’re talking about you and me here.  We’re not talking about the past.  That’s over and done with.”

She squared her shoulders angrily.  “The past shapes the way we act in the present and how we view the future.  And here you are, unwilling to tell me about your past relationships
. So why should I trust you about something that I’m working on that’s painfully personal to me?”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  “You’re willing to share your body with me but nothing else.  Is that what you’re telling me?”

That didn’t sit well with her, Nina thought angrily.  “I’m not saying that at all!”

“Then
perhaps you should define what the parameters should be with our relationship!”

“Why do we need to define anything?  Why can’t we just…”

“Have fun?  Screw around a bit?”

She shrunk back from those words.  “Don’t be crass!” she snapped at him. 

She tried to slip by him but he grabbed her arms, holding her still.  “I’m in love with you, Nina.  And you keep pushing me away.  I know that there are issues that we need to deal with.  And I want this relationship to go the long haul.  But you’ve got to give me something Nina.  I need to at least understand why you’re like this.  What did your ex-husband do that so totally destroyed your trust in yourself?”

She was losing the battle already.  Just his touch made her weak in the knees.  She wanted to throw her arms around him and beg him to just hold on, to not lose faith in her.  But the words wouldn’t come.  She was scared!  She’d trusted her ex and he’d so completely destroyed everything she’d thought they’d had together
.  “I trust myself,” she snapped back.  “I just don’t trust anyone else.”

He pulled her against him and kissed her hard and fast.  “No Nina.  You don’t trust anyone.  Not even yourself.  Because if you did, you’d know that what we have together is worth fighting for.  It’s scary and big and doesn’t come around every day.”

He released her and stepped back.  “Just remember one thing.”

She was shivering with reaction and something she
couldn’t really define.  “What’s that?” she whispered, curling her arms inward as if she could fend off his words and the things he was making her feel.

“I love you!  I think you’re sexy and hot and smart.  And I just like being with you.  Whatever is on that computer, I don’t care about.  I care about you.  I care about what you might be throwing away by protecting that,” he snapped, pointing to the computer equipment that had taken over her family room, “instead of fighting for what we feel for each other.  But whatever is on that computer is bigger than what we have together.  And I can’t fight it.  It’s an unknown and it’s tearing you apart.”

With that, he stepped backwards, grabbed his shirt and finished dressing.  Nina stared at him, everything he’d said going over in her mind as if they were some sort of secret words that she didn’t want to hear, couldn’t hear for fear of them breaking down the barriers she’d put up around her heart and herself. 

He walked out of her apartment without
another word and Nina struggled to call him back.  She wanted so desperately to fight for him – for the way he made her feel, which was special and pretty.  But she was so scared!  She couldn’t handle being hurt again! 

So instead of reaching out,
crying out for him to stop, she watched with a painful, shriveling stab in her chest as he walked away. 

She almost crumbled to the floor of her kitchen with that pain, wanting so badly to call him, to beg him to give her more time.  But would time help?  He wanted so much of her.  He wanted to marry her but she couldn’t do that!  She’d vowed after Steven never to marry again. 

So instead of crumbling to pieces like she wanted to, she pulled herself together, straightened her shoulders and walked to her bedroom, forcing herself to get ready for work.  Work always took her mind off of her problems.  Even after Steven’s betrayal, she could always count on losing herself in her work.  It was a balm to her soul and a distraction to anything that was bothering her.

She dressed and pulled her hair back, not bothering to do anything special with it.  She had been dressing up in anticipation of seeing Brock each day or night, but since he’d stormed out, possibly forever….she stopped that thought because tears started to form on her eyes.  “No.  He’s not gone forever!” 

Somehow, she’d figure out what was wrong and fix it.  She didn’t like being vulnerable but she didn’t like the idea of not seeing Brock again. The idea hurt too much so she refused to believe it was happening. 

She arrived at work
and sat down in her chair, her mind barely able to deal with the fact that it had only been a few days since Brock had stormed into her life.  Well, storming wasn’t exactly the right word.  Weaseled?  She almost laughed at that idea.  Brock didn’t weasel anything.  He just stomped.  Yes, that was the prefect description.  Brock had stomped into her life and she wondered if she would ever recover.

She was staring at her computer screen, not
hing actually filtering into her brain when someone stepped into her office. 

“Ms.
Jansen?” the male in the dark suit asked with a patronizing smile.

Nina jumped and looked at her doorway.  The man was about average height with dark brown hair, smooth skin that didn’t look like he’d even had to bother shaving.  He was too smooth, too urbane. 
The image of Brock popped into her mind.  His scruffy image was so dear to her now.  She loved running her fingers over his face, her fingertips touching his scar and the rough texture of his unshaven, morning face.

Blinking, she suddenly realized that the man in her doorway was waiting for a reply. 
“Yes?  How can I help you?”

He stepped fully into the office and sat down without waiting for her to offer a seat.  “I’m Reggie Simpson,” he said, extending his hand with a smug
expression.

Nina instantly didn’t like him but she was also comparing him to Steven who had the same look about him.  Steven had always acted like the world existed just to serve him.  Brock, on the other hand, was one of those guys who looked like the world moved out of the way for him.  She liked that! 

“How can I help you, Mr. Simpson?”

“Call me Reggie,” he countered.  “May I call you Nina?”

She leaned back in her chair, feeling nervous all of a sudden.  “Of course.”

“Nina,” he said, crossing his ankle o
ver his knee, “in the wake of Jared Silverberg’s tragic death,” he said, but Nina suspected that this Reggie character didn’t think the death was tragic but simply saying the right words, “we have a void to fill.  I know that this is sudden, but business must move forward.  We need to fill Mr. Silverberg’s role as the project manager for all the floundering projects that are left behind.”

“I understand.  Who did you have in mind to take the role?” Nina realized suddenly that she didn’t care.  Not one little
bit!  She wasn’t here to make a career of this place.  Work wasn’t working for her today and she wanted to bury herself in her personal project.  Or in Brock’s arms.  Caring about who would be her next boss was the last thing on her list. 

But Reggie’s smile widened.  “Well, we’d like to offer you the position.”

Nina didn’t even blink.  She just stared back at the man.  Her mind was thinking about Brock and that he might be able to help her through one of the road blocks she’d been having with her personal project.  He might have some insight, some meaningful ideas on how to move forward.  Then she realized what she was thinking and put the mental brakes on that possibility.  Brock wasn’t someone she could confide in!

Reggie shifted slightly in his seat when he didn’t receive any response.  “Well what do you think?” he prompted, his eyes looking at her carefully.

Nina focused on the man in front of her, pushing the memories out of her mind so she could just get through today.  “Um…that’s fine.  When do you want me to take over?” she asked.

Reggie smiled slightly, not sure what to make of her reaction.  “I was hoping you’d be a bit more excited.  This is a huge promotion.”

Nina shrugged and rubbed her forehead.  “I understand.  I’m just…” she tried to figure out what she “was”.  She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but it definitely wasn’t excitement for a promotion she didn’t want.  “On second thought, I don’t think I can do that position the justice it deserves.  I’m sure there is a candidate better qualified for the role.”

Reggie was obviously one of those people
whose life’s goal was to climb the career ladder at the expense of everything else.  So Nina’s rejection of a promotion boggled him.  His foot dropped off of his knee and his mouth hung open slightly.  “You can’t do that,” he blurted out.

Nina almost laughed, but then the image of Brock’s angry features popped into her mind and the amusement died away.  “I’m sorry, Reggie.  I know this is a surprise, but I have personal projects that require my time.  Taking this promotion would mean more hours, more responsibility and more stress.  Those don’t seem like a good combination for a good work and life balance.”

Wow, even Nina was surprised by that response.  But even as she said the words, she knew they were right.  They felt right and the sentiment they conveyed was right for her. 

Reggie leaned forward
, obviously dumbfounded by her reaction.  “But you have to take the job,” he squirmed. 

Nina’s eyes widened.  “Why do I have to take it?”

He stammered for a moment, never having considered a negative response.  “Because no one turns down a promotion like this.  It’s too big.  Too amazing.  And you are the perfect candidate for the role.”

Nina looked at him carefully, trying to figure out what was going on.   Why was management so emphatic that she
take the job?  “You need a female in that role, don’t you?” she asked, the light suddenly coming on.  “Because Jared was such a philanderer, and he sexually harassed so many women and management didn’t do anything about it.  They are now looking for someone to soothe the feathers of the worker bees.” 

Reggie flushed and Nina knew she was right on target with her assessment of the situation.  “You’re very qualified for the position, Nina.  We wouldn’t offer you the job if you didn’t have the qualifications.”