Interlude (Rockstar #4) (4 page)

Xander

Past

I see the chick Jesse
banged last night come stomping out of the bedroom and smirk. She walks past, muttering what a fucking asshole Jesse is. I take a drink of my Coke. Little does she know, we're all assholes like that. She violated the rules. She knew them, as they all do when they step on board this bus or in any of the hotel rooms. No sleepovers. Fuck and get out.

It's obvious Jesse didn't want her there, but Ethan. He's another story. He's been letting them stay so he can get one last nut off in the morning before we travel for a couple days to the next city. That'd be cool, but the chicks he's been bringing back have been totally fucked up. Drugs and alcohol. It's just a clusterfuck and I'm sick of it.

I get my piece of ass and send the chick on her way. She uses me, I use her, we both walk away happy. Letting them hang out overnight leads them to thinking they can stay even longer than that. No fucking way.

Ethan stumbles out around the same time as Jesse comes out of the bathroom.

"Dude," Jesse mutters. "You clean that shit up. It's on you. Not me, not Jerry. You bring your bitches back here and let them stay. You know that's not how it works."

"Fuck you, man. I saw yours leaving just now," Ethan scoffs.

"I fucking passed out and she didn't leave like I told her to. You know I never have chicks stay."

Ethan smirks. "Yeah, I know the golden rules." His voice is riddled with sarcasm and Jesse steps closer to him.

"I don't know what the fuck is up with you lately, but either you straighten your shit out, or Xander here is walking and I'm going right along with him," Jesse tells him, and I'm barely able to contain my shock. Holy fuck. Jesse leaving the band?

"What the fuck is going on out here?" Ben mutters, looking like death warmed over. His face pale, dark circles around his eyes. He's lost weight. I sneer. Fucking drugs.

"And you!" Jesse shouts. "What the fuck? Snorting coke with fucking Lucian? Have you lost your god damn mind?"

Ben rolls his eyes. "Fuck off, Jesse. It was only a couple times."

"Only a couple times," Jesse mutters, hands on his hips, eyes on the floor. He nods his head then lifts it to meet Ben's gaze. "Well brother, any more times and you're going to be up on that stage on your own. I'm done."

"What are you talking about?" Ben asks, standing statue still.

Kennedy comes wandering out of the back, already dressed and showered, his notebook in one hand, guitar in the other. He heads over to the chair across from me and raises a brow.

I just shake my head and take a swig of my Coke.

"Listen, guys," Jerry begins, only to be cut off by Jesse.

"I'm done listening, Jer. You've done a hell of a job and there's no one better for this band than you, but either these guys straighten up and follow the code we swore we always would, or I'm done. Xander already told me he's ready to walk too."

"Are you fucking serious?" Ben shouts.

"As a heart attack," I reply. "I'm tired of Ethan's fucking messes. I won't watch you get all hopped up on drugs and turn into the one thing Ethan and Kennedy don't need to be around. You do remember that, right?" I ask and Ben looks away. "You remember what they grew up with, Ben. What the hell are you doing?"

"Fuck!" he shouts, and slams a fist into the door of the bathroom. No one moves. Of all of us, Ben's the one who contains his anger best and he's losing it.

"You doing drugs, man?" Ethan asks.

Ben nods.

"You know what happens with drugs. It starts out as a couple times and ends up being where you can't stop," Kennedy reminds him while he strums his guitar. It's the one way Kennedy's always dealt with anxiety, anger, and stress—music. Well, that and sex.

"I know," Ben mutters, running a hand through his hair.

"So what the fuck?" Jesse asks.

"Christ, Jesse, I don't know. Everything's just been so fucking much lately. The shows are fucking packed. Pussy everywhere I turn. Alcohol. Drugs. I've been doing so much of everything, why not that too?"

"Fuck, Ben. I get it's chaos," Jesse begins. "It's really fucking crazy right now, but we've only got three more weeks then we're done for a while."

"It's been a really long fucking tour," Ethan admits, grabbing a bottle of juice from the fridge.

"It sure as hell has," I tell them with a nod. "But that doesn't mean Ben can try to bury himself in drugs and you in random pussy like you have been."

"You're a fine one to be talking about random pussy," Ethan replies, his defenses up.

"I know it, but I don't break the rules. I fuck and they are gone."

Jesse sits down. "The rules are there for a reason. Remember when we made them? We didn't want to become those god damn clichéd rock groups with members hooked on drugs," he says pointedly to Ben, "and we sure as fuck don't want strange chicks on board the bus longer than it takes to get your rocks off because sure as shit they'll find something or hear something they weren't supposed to and sell that shit to the highest bidder."

"God damn right they will," Kennedy chimes in. "We've worked too hard to keep our lives private to let that bullshit happen. I'm with Xander and Jesse. You two straighten up or I'm done, too."

I nod at him.

Ben leans forward, elbows on his knees, running his hands through his hair, while Ethan leans back, looking up at the ceiling.

I sigh. "I know we need a break and we've got a short one coming up in St. Louis. We're there for three days and only playing one show. Time away from Lucian and the rest of
Burners
might be a good idea."

Both Ethan and Ben nod.

Ah yeah. Just as I thought. Lucian taking the chicks with them from one city to the next, fucking them the whole time we travel, then dumping them off with some cash and a one-way ticket home is what Ethan sees.

"I know as well as you do it's fucking lonely as hell out here on the road. At least we've got our regular hook-ups in L.A." Jesse begins with a nod. "I get it. But having a chick on board who can fucking destroy what we've worked too hard to maintain so you can get your piece of ass when you want it, isn't worth it."

"Especially when we all know it won't fill that need anyway," I say, and they all look at me. "You'll still walk away empty."

"Yeah," Ethan agrees.

"All right," Ben murmurs.

"We'll find something to do when we hit St. Louis and get the hell away from this fucking bus and those
Burners
fuckers," I tell them.

"Cool," Kennedy mutters.

Everyone agrees and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Let's get cleaned up and grab some breakfast at the next rest stop," Jerry suggests.

"Sounds good," Jesse agrees.

My stomach growls. "Yeah. I could go for some bacon. Lots of bacon."

"You always want bacon," Kennedy chides.

I grin. "Fuck yeah, dude. Bacon equals meat candy."

Kennedy snorts.

When the others are far enough away, Kennedy looks at me.

"Crisis averted."

I nod, but think,
for now.
The look in his eyes tells me he's thinking the exact same thing.

Thankfully the guys
have all chilled out since the blowup and threats of the band breaking up. I don't want to do it, but I would. I won't let my brother get swept up into the life of drugs and all the bullshit Lucian and
Burners
have going on.

St. Louis is a great break for us. We've got a house to stay in for five days, instead of three, since we don't have to get to Dallas for a week. The house is fucking huge, and right now we're all kicked back in the media room.

A commercial comes on and there she is. I lean forward, my heart kicks up, and I can't take my eyes off of the screen. She's four years older now, curvier, and still so fucking beautiful.

"What's with you?" Xander asks.

I nod my head toward the screen. "That's her."

"Her, who?" Ethan asks.

"Lucy."

Xander's brows lift. "The airport chick?"

"Yeah," I tell him, still unable to look away from the TV where Lucy Russo is doing a suntan lotion commercial in a bikini. Her sun-kissed skin beautifully flawless, her breasts full within the confines of the not-so-modest bikini, and her perfectly rounded ass on display for all to see in the skimpy bottoms. I frown.

"She's fucking hot, dude. Her ass is prime," Xander leers.

"Motherfucker, talk about her ass one more time and you'll be swallowing your teeth," I seethe, seeing red.

"Whoa." Xander holds his hands up. "Dude, you've got it bad and you don't even know her."

I glance at him when the commercial ends. "I know enough."

"Let's look up this Lucy," Kennedy says, grabbing his laptop. "Full name?"

"Luciana Russo."

Ben walks into the room. "I remember you talking about that chick. What's going on?"

"She was just in a commercial and Jesse's going to kick Xan's ass for commenting on
her
ass," Ethan tells him, taking the beer Ben offers.

"Dude," is all Ben says.

"Shut the fuck up. I know, all right?" I tell him. Shit. There is something about her. I've never been able to forget her. Hell, sometimes I fantasize about her when I'm jacking off or fucking a random chick. I imagine the sounds she'd make, how she'd smell, how hot and tight she'd be. Fuck. Just thinking about her is getting me hard.

"Luciana Antonia Russo. Born in Chicago. Let me skim this bullshit that I'm sure you already know. Ah, here we go," Kennedy announces.

He starts naming off television shows and movies she's been in.

Kennedy raises his brows. "That last one is still going. Three seasons worth."

"I bet Cage Dude could get those to us before we get back on the road. At least we'd have something to watch on the bus," Xander suggests.

"Hell yeah," Ethan agrees. "I heard that show is cool as shit."

"I bet the movies are all romantic and shit," Ben murmurs unhappily.

"Chick flicks," Xander agrees with a nod.

I just look at them. "You fuckers don't want to watch 'em, don't watch 'em." I pick up my cell and leave the room.

"Nichols."

"Hey man," I say. This is fucking awkward. It shouldn't be. It's not like I don't ask the man for shit all the time. But this is different. This is about
her
.

"What's going on, Jesse?" he asks.

"Nothing much. Relaxing."

"Good. I know this tour was a long one. We'll shorten the next one up."

I nod, even though he can't see me. "Cool. We needed a break."

"I'm sure, but I'm also sure that's not why you called."

"No. I called because I know you've got connections," I tell him.

"Are you in some kind of trouble?" Cage asks.

"Nah, nothing like that man. There's this chick…" I begin, and Cage remains quiet. "Luciana Russo."

"What about her?" Cage barks out, sounding almost protective.

"I met her in the Chicago airport four years ago with her sister and… I don't know man, there's just something about her that's stuck with me." Christ. I sound like a total pussy.

"Go on," Cage encourages.

"So, yeah, me and the guys just saw her in a commercial and Kennedy looked her up. You think you can get copies of all her movies and that TV show she's in right now?" Yep, total pussy.

Silence. One long beat of silence where I'm tempted to reach down between my legs and make sure my balls are still there.

"I think that can be arranged. I can have them to you tomorrow," he tells me.

"Sounds good, man. Thanks."

"Anytime," he replies, and with that he hangs up.

I stand there, leaning against the wall, wondering what the hell it is about this girl—no. She's a woman now. What is it about her that draws me in? I shake my head. I have no fucking idea.

"What'd he say?" Xander asks, coming into the kitchen.

"He's gonna hook us up. Should be here sometime tomorrow."

He nods. "Good. Maybe it'll be enough to distract those fuckers in there from all the bullshit they've been pulling."

I fist bump him. "Let's hope."

I don't want to think about the alternative.

"Damn, dude, your
chick is awesome," Xander tells me as we take a break from our movie-a-thon. My chest fills with pride. She's not really mine—not yet—but I can't help but feel proud of Lucy. She's amazing.

Kennedy leans forward. "Her cousin, Serafina Manzini." He turns the laptop around and all of our jaws drop. Ben lets out a wolf whistle.

"A fucking model," Ethan says with a shake of his head.

"Yeah," I say, rubbing my hand over my heart. "I wonder if they're the same nice girls I met in Chicago or if this life has changed them," I speculate aloud.

"Don't know," Kennedy answers. "There's only one way to know."

"Yeah," I reply, knowing he means to see her and talk to her.

Xander scoffs. "Pussy."

"Fuck off, man. I'm not ready to find out the answer to that question. When I am ready, I'll find a way to make it happen," I tell him with a sneer.

"Whatever floats your boat," Xander tells me.

"I gotta piss before we start the next episode," Ben announces.

"I need a beer." And I need to forget about this woman. She's too young, I'm too fucked up, and I'd likely destroy her. Yeah. I need to forget about her—for now.