Intentions - SF9 (24 page)

"Oh, sorry, I was just looking at their bodies and my mind wandered."

"Yeah, mine is about to wander down there too."

Jamie aimed a half-hearted slap of rebuke at Mia's midriff, but the topic had been broached. "So…how is it sleeping with her? Did she get any more adventurous?"

"Well-yes and no. She let me touch her breasts a little bit, but we really didn't get that involved. I was worried about making noise with you guys there, and I knew it would freak her out if you heard us messing around." She smiled serenely as she admitted, "I didn't mind a bit, though. It was so nice to cuddle up behind her and hold her all night." Giving Jamie a proud grin, she related, "She slept like a baby, and so did I."

"I'm married to the world's biggest cuddle-bunny," Jamie laughed. "She's quickly made me an addict."

"I think Jordan likes it, but she's wide awake awfully early. I think this is really weighing on her mind."

"She does seem pretty confused," Jamie agreed, unwilling to tell Mia about the conversation she'd had with Jordan the previous day.

"It seems clear to me that she's gay, but she has a really tough time facing it, Jamie. I think I believe her when she says it's not sex that frightens her. I think it's the label, and having other people know. Even on the night we met she was very evasive about being gay."

"Well, what about you, Mia? Where do you fall in the equation?"

"Me? I'm just an open-minded straight girl," she said innocently.

"I don't know, Mia. I think there might be some cutoff point at which you're at least bisexual."

"Like what?" she asked, her curls tossing in the breeze.

"I don't know. Maybe there should be some objective standard. Like if you've touched a dozen breasts…"

"Pairs or individual breasts?" Mia asked, just to clarify the parameters.

"Pairs," Jamie allowed.

"I'm still straight," she decreed happily.

"Well, I've only touched one pair, and it's enough to convince me that I'm gay," Jamie declared.

"Not me," Mia insisted. "I can actually feel the withdrawal pangs when I think of never touching a penis again."

Jamie patted her cheek and said, "I guess maybe you are just an open-minded straight girl."

"Well, whatever you call me, I've got to admit that Jordan makes me throb," Mia sighed. "She's so soft and smooth; her skin just feels like satin. I loved lying in bed and just talking last night. Her breasts felt so soft when they were rubbing against mine. Whew! I had to force myself not to pop one of those little beauties into my mouth."

"Departing straight girl land," Jamie announced dramatically. "You are now entering bisexuality country."

"Get off the label fixation, James! If you must have a title for me, you may say that I'm Mia-sexual. That's the only one that fits!"

They were allowed to drop the rental off at LAX, which made matters much easier, at least from a logistics standpoint. Emotionally, it was still very difficult for Jamie to leave. As much pleasure as she got from being on the golf team, she dreaded the time away from home. It wasn't so bad once she was actually playing in the tournament; then, she could give her complete concentration to the match. But leaving Ryan was horrible for her-and even though Ryan tried to put on a good face, Jamie knew it was nearly as hard for her.

Tonight was tougher than usual. They had shared so much emotion during the day that they both felt particularly close, and the thought of parting felt like a physical blow. Jordan and Mia were waiting in the Southwest terminal, giving their friends a little time alone. Ryan had insisted on taking Jamie to her Alaska Air gate, even though it was quite a long jog back to meet the others. To avoid making a scene, they found an empty restroom and spent a few long, tender minutes. Their goodbye kisses were always sweet and filled with emotion, and Ryan felt her composure start to slip as Jamie held her face and reverently kissed every inch.

"That makes me feel so treasured," Ryan murmured as she leaned in to the touch.

"You are treasured," Jamie sighed. "The more I know you, the more I love you, Ryan. Thank you for sharing your heart with me today. I'll always remember your face when you sang that song."

"I'll always remember yours when we locked eyes after I was finished. The love you were sending my way felt like the warmest embrace I've ever experienced."

"This weekend was special, Ryan. Thanks for sharing it with me."

"Thanks for going out of your way to come. I'm really glad that you got to meet Bryant."

"So am I," Jamie smiled. "I'll be home as soon as I can, Love."

"It won't be soon enough. I'll count the minutes."

One final kiss and Jamie was off, striding confidently across the waiting area and into the line to board. As usual, she did not turn around, and Ryan thought it best that she protected her composure that way. Sighing heavily, she made her way back to their friends, already feeling Jamie's absence pervade her senses.

Jordan decided to go home and catch up on some sleep, and as Ryan lay in bed she studied the room, feeling like something was missing. It took her a long while, but she finally realized what it was. The stuffed tiger she had given Jamie was not on her usual space on the loveseat. She looked all around the room, finally deciding that Jamie must have taken it with her.
That's my girl,
she sighed.
Only Jamie would have the nerve to sleep with a stuffed tiger that says "I love Jamie" on its little shirt.
Her roommate's gonna think she's a whacko!

Ryan was nearly asleep when the phone rang. "H'llo?" she said, trying to clear her throat at the same time.

"Do you have school tomorrow?" Conor asked without preamble.

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't. Don't have practice either. Why?"

"There's snow at Heavenly," he said, naming one of their favorite ski haunts.

"And…?"

"Come on, Sis. We always go as soon as there's any snow. Don't be so whipped!"

"I'm not whipped," she said archly. At his silence she admitted, "Okay, I am whipped, but in this instance, Jamie's not even home. She's in Oregon until Wednesday night. Besides, she loves to ski."

"Uh-huh," he said. "And I bet she'd love to go with us, wouldn't she?" he asked archly.

"Point taken," Ryan admitted. "Okay. I should stay home and rest, but I'll go if you drive."

"Done. I'll be there to pick you up at four."

"Great," she muttered. "Bring my board, and my Sorels, and my overalls, and my ski jacket, and my gloves, okay?"

"Anything else? Jeez, I'll be packing all night."

"It wouldn't be that much fun to sit in the truck in my jammies, Conor. The equipment is kinda required."

"Okay, okay. You buy breakfast for my trouble, though."

"Deal. See you in…" she checked her watch, "six hours."
I should have my head examined,
she thought to herself as she tried to go to sleep quickly.

Conor was polite enough to call his sister when he pulled up, not wanting to wake Mia by ringing the bell. "Let's go," he demanded when she picked up.

"Be right there."

She ran down the stairs, making sure the note she left for Mia was easy to find. She planned on calling Jamie later, when she knew she'd be up, but she wanted Mia to know where she was in case Jamie called first.

Opening the rear door of the truck, Ryan checked to make sure all of her gear was packed away, then she pulled her clothing from the oversized nylon bag and made a reasonable pillow with it. She curled up as best she could, got the door closed and ordered, "Go."

"Aw, come on," her brother complained. "That's all I'm gonna get? How am I gonna stay awake if you don't talk to me?"

"Stop at 7-11 for a Big Gulp of coffee," she mumbled, but her wily brother knew one topic that would perk her up.

"Da was up when I left," he said.

"Mmm?"

"He's taking someone special to the airport today…"

"Shit! I forgot Aunt Maeve was leaving today!" She grabbed her cell phone from her waistband and dialed home. "Da, it's me."

"Hello, Sweetheart. You be careful up on that mountain today, Love."

"I will. When are you leaving, Da?"

"In about an hour. The flight is at seven, but she should be there an hour early."

"I'm gonna call her, okay? I just didn't want to wake her up."

"I think it's safe to assume she's been up for a few minutes, Love. I'd be surprised if she slept a wink last night."

"Okay. Give Aunt Maeve a kiss for me, will you, Da?"

"I think I can manage a spare," he chuckled. "Call me when you get home, Darlin'. I want to make sure you're lucid."

"Will do," she agreed.

After a quick call to her aunt, wishing her a good trip, Ryan hung up and glared at her brother. "You did that just to wake me up. They're not leaving for an hour."

"Who, me? I was just making casual conversation, Ryan. Just trying to keep you informed."

"Well, it didn't work, big guy. I'm going to sleep. Wake me when it's time to strap my board on. And not a minute sooner."

Since it was Columbus Day and the first holiday of the season, the slopes were more crowded than usual. Conor and Ryan were engaged in a spirited argument as the first light broke over the mountain, neither sibling willing to give in.

"I'm not going to do it, Conor. I don't do stuff like that anymore." She was shaking her head firmly, arms crossed against her chest.

"It doesn't hurt anything, Ryan. We've always done this."

"I wasn't in a relationship then, Conor. Things have changed."

"You don't have to do anything, Ryan. Don't tell me that you can't even flirt when you're in a relationship."

She rapped her fingers against his head, expecting to hear a hollow echo. "Yes, Conor, you most certainly are prohibited from flirting if you want your partner to trust you. Are you that clueless?"

"Aw, Jamie wouldn't mind. She's not a tightass, Ryan. This is important."

"Conor, I'm not going to do it. You take a whack at her if it means so much."

He shook his head and started to walk towards the chair lift operator. "I'm telling you that she's gay," he insisted. "She'll be completely immune to my charms."

"Oh yeah, like that would be the only possible reason for that," she called out.

He was only there for a few minutes, with Ryan watching his apparent lack of progress. When he returned he started to pout, making Ryan wish that she could have driven so that he had taken a nap. "You owe me," she grumbled, striding over to the woman.

"Hi," Ryan said when she approached, her normal friendliness shining through. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Pardon me?" the woman asked.

"Do you have any siblings?" Ryan asked again.

"Uh…yeah. I have two older brothers. Why?"

"Well, my brother was just over here flirting with you…"

"Oh…yeah. You do look alike. Funny," she said, eyeing Ryan up and down, "he's not my type. He should have sent his sister," she leered.

"Yeah…well," Ryan said, trying to get out of this one with a minimum of damage. "We have a little um…thing we do when we go boarding. We uh…try to make friends with the chair-lift operator so we don't have to wait in the long lines." She was blushing a little, making her even more attractive to the operator.

"Is that what you're doing? Trying to make friends? I could always use another friend…"

"Ryan."

"I could always use another friend, Ryan," she decided.

"Well, to tell you the truth…"

"Sandy."

"To tell you the truth, Sandy, I'm in a relationship and I can't really have any more…friends at this point in my life. I was actually going to try to appeal to your sense of sibling rivalry, or if that didn't work, I was prepared to offer you a shameless bribe." She was bestowing one of her most charming grins on the woman, and she knew she was flirting…but just a little…almost too little to count.

"Make you a deal, Ryan. Meet me for lunch-your treat, of course-and you have a deal."

"Happy to buy you lunch, Sandy, but that's all that I can offer. I'm quite attached."

"So am I," she said rather airily, "but I'm not too firmly attached."

"No problem," Ryan beamed at her. "I'm attached enough for both of us."

On the way home, Ryan offered to drive the truck since Conor had been up since three that morning. She had the stereo on low, singing to herself to stay awake when she heard a soft voice from the back seat say, "You didn't really hit on the lift operator, did you."

"Of course not," Ryan laughed. "I told her the whole deal, and she played along for a free lunch. She was a pretty nice woman."

"You would have done her in the locker room a year ago," he chuckled.

"A year ago?" she said reflectively. "Yeah, I guess I probably would have. It feels better to just offer a bribe," she said, deciding that she didn't miss her old ways one bit.

Jamie's tee time was scheduled for ten o'clock, and as she was introduced, she turned at the exuberant applause to see her father, who had obviously just arrived, clapping for all he was worth. She gave him a little wink, waited for her playing partner to tee off, then strode to the tee box to begin the tournament. She was pleased with her drive, and after she hit she walked back to the gallery to give him a kiss. "Glad you made it," she said, a big smile on her face.

"It was nip and tuck," he admitted. "Great drive, by the way. Those muscles have really paid off."

"Gotta go," she said, as she saw her foursome getting ahead of her.

"Go get 'em, Jamie," he said, giving her a fond hug.

He was waiting outside the clubhouse when she emerged a little after two, having won her match, three and two. "Congratulations, Honey," he said excitedly. "You really toughed it out over the last two holes. Great sand recovery on fifteen."

"Thanks, Dad. I was pretty happy with the way I played after the turn. It took me a while to get my rhythm."

"You did great, Honey. Cal is lucky to have you."

She giggled a little at that, and said, "I'm about to faint from hunger. Want to have some lunch?"

"It's five o'clock my time," he admitted. "I had breakfast at four a.m. Pacific time. I think I could stand to have a bite or two."

They decided to eat at the restaurant in the clubhouse, ordering identical meals, as frequently happened. As they waited for their food, Jim got on his cell phone and spent a few minutes talking softly with his secretary while Jamie observed him.
There is something both odd and reassuring about having someone in your life that you so resemble, she considered. I know I share a lot of traits with mother, but sometimes Daddy and I act like the same person. It's odd…I wonder if I have the same inner desire that he has to win at all costs. God, I hope that stays buried if I do have it.

Since her father was fully occupied, Jamie got on her own cell phone and called home. She didn't really expect Ryan to be there, but she wanted to leave her a message about her victory. Just a moment after she hung up, Jim finished his business and focused his attention on her.

"How are you managing golf along with school, Jamie? Has it been very difficult for you?"

"No, not really, Dad. I'd say that Ryan's volleyball schedule has been tougher on us than my schedule. She has one or two games a week, and that really makes it hard."

"How is it going, Honey? With Ryan, I mean?"

She wasn't at all sure what he meant, and she looked a little confused for a second.

He smiled and said, "I was a newlywed once too, Jamie. It was a very tough transition for both of us. I guess I just want to make sure that you're handling the stress."

"It's not like that for us, Daddy. Being with Ryan reduces my stress, to tell you the truth. I eat regular meals because I like to cook for her; we go to bed really early because she has to get up so early; she just calms me down…she centers me."

He smiled at her and reached over to grasp her hand. "I'm really glad to hear that, Jamie. That's what a relationship should be."

She grew pensive and spent a moment wondering if she should ask the question that played at the back of her mind. Deciding to risk it, she asked, "You didn't ever have that, did you?"

He shook his head, his face betraying his sadness. "No. We really didn't. We had the best of intentions, Jamie, but we were far too young to get married." He looked at her for a second and added, "You and Ryan seem much more mature than we were. We were like two kids trying to act like adults."

Their food was delivered, and they spent a few minutes digging in. They said little until Jamie put her sandwich down and said, "Mom told me why you got married, Dad. I know it was a lot sooner than you wanted."

He looked a little ill as he nodded slowly. "It was too soon for us to marry," he admitted. "But I never regretted it, Jamie. Not then…not now. I was too young and immature to be a proper husband, but I think I did a pretty good job of being a father." He sighed heavily as he admitted, "I was better then than I am now. Odd, huh?"

"It doesn't do much good to talk about what happened, Dad," she said softly. "Let's try to build on what we have now. I think we'll both be better off that way."

He gave her a gentle smile and agreed with her advice. "I'm willing to try, Honey. We have nowhere to go but up."

Jordan was waiting for Ryan after practice on Tuesday, practically wagging her tail as she waited to be invited over for dinner. "I've got my bike today," Ryan said, not even specifying why that was important.

"I can handle you, Tiger. Don't worry your pretty little head about that."

"I'll go easy on you," Ryan allowed. "We're ordering carryout, by the way. I don't get pleasure out of cooking like Jamie does."

"Like I'm gonna complain?" Jordan chuckled. "I owe you twenty dinners already."

"Only eleven," the ever-accurate Ryan said, "but who's counting."

Ryan rode her bike at a snail's pace so that Jordan only needed to walk at a brisk clip to keep up with her. "I think it really went well with Mia this weekend," the blonde said.

"Yeah? It looked like you were getting along well. How was it sleeping together? Kinda weird?"

"Mmm, no, to be honest. It was really nice. It was less tense for me than usual."

"Really? I'd think that being that close would have made you uncomfortable."

Jordan shot her a look and said, "It's not the sex, Ryan. I'm not afraid to touch her or to be touched. The only thing that bothers me is how it makes me feel. Do you get the difference?"