Inseparable (8 page)

“I can’t wait to see you later, Lil,” I read aloud. Gem giggled, practically hanging off my arm, at which I couldn’t help but laugh too. “God Gem, he is…I don’t even know,” I said, lost for words.

“I’m really happy for you, Lil. I’m glad he’s gotten past whatever last year was too,” Her eyes lit up as I held a blue/green silk slip dress against my body, “Yes! Try it on!” She demanded, pushing me into the change rooms. I laughed, not needing much encouragement. Without even trying it on, I knew the dress was perfect.

As I changed into the dress, I thought about what Gem had said. Did it worry me that Dane had closed off when I mentioned last year? Yes, though I was still more than willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Some things are just hard to talk about, and I respected that.

I admired myself in the mirror, before opening the door to show Gem. Judging by her screams of delight, we had a winner. The dress was stunning, but at close to a month’s rent it was
way
more than I could afford. Swallowing hard, I reached into my purse for the emergency credit card mom had given me.

If this wasn’t an emergency, I didn’t know what was.

“So why did you move here? You lived pretty far away right? Were there closer colleges you applied for?”

Gem’s question caught me off guard as I stirred my latte. Shopping was hard work, and required regular replenishment. This was our second refreshment stop in under an hour; the first had come after I couldn’t pass up the aroma of some freshly made pretzels.

“Do you get along with your family?” She asked, licking the froth of her spoon.

“I get along so well with my family, it’s not even funny,” I thought of Anna and mom back home. Imagining home made me think of Abby, one of the biggest factors behind my decision to move. I needed to create my own memories.

“Last year, my twin died. She had cancer. After dealing with that, I just needed to get away from everything that reminded me of her. Start afresh.”

“Oh Lily-”

“Don’t apologize,” I cut in, smiling at her, “Please. Everyone feels so sorry for me, but the truth is, I had the most amazing, loving sister for nearly eighteen years, and for that I’m truly lucky.” Gem looked at me, speechless for the first time since I’d met her. “After two years of Abby’s illness, then struggling to cope with her being gone, I needed this. Time for myself, if that makes sense.”

I didn’t add the time spent in Baskenville Psych facility, or that Abby still visited me almost every night. I learned the hard way to keep things like that to myself.

I knew there was probably some kind of reasonable scientific explanation as to why I was seeing and hearing Abby as though she were still alive well after her death, but I hadn’t cared. It comforted me. People didn’t understand how hard it had been for me, coping with her death.

The worst thing about her illness, apart from the obvious, was seeing my sister fade away before my eyes. Looking at Abby was like looking into a mirror, identical in every way, from our long blonde tresses, right down to our emerald green eyes and our curvy silhouettes. After her diagnosis, the weight dropped off her, her eyes lost their sparkle, and her hair slowly fell out leaving a shadow of who she once was. I’d look at Abby and I’d feel guilty.

Why wasn’t I sick? Why had Abby been given such a horrible sentence?

Why did she deserve to die and not me?

Every day following her death, I’d look in the mirror and see Abby. I’d see the Abby I knew before she got sick. The Abby that was deep inside her sick exterior right up until the moment she died. Having her with me, being able to talk to her was my way of coping. The doctor said it was quite common in cases of twin death, that the surviving twin would create a situation where they could still be close to their twin.

The only thing this didn’t explain was Abby’s knowledge of dad’s affair. Thinking about that freaked me out. How could she be my ‘coping mechanism’ and know something like that? It wasn’t as though there were signs I’d subconsciously picked up either. Everything about that whole event had been surprising and scary.

“You would have to be the strongest person I’ve ever met,” Gem’s voice brought me back to reality, our table at the mall. I quickly wiped away the tears in my eyes.

Strong? Far from it. I coped. That was about all I did right now.

“Thanks Gem,” I hugged her, “And thanks for helping me find the perfect dress,” I added, smiling.

Chapter Nine

Kella was out when I got home from shopping. A note lay on the kitchen counter, and her car keys sat on top.

Lil,

Figured you’d need my car. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do ;)

You know, coming from me that excludes nothing.

And help yourself to my shoes.

Love Kel xx

Yes! I had non restricted access to her shoes. Normally what was on my feet didn’t bother me at all, but I needed something perfect to go with my perfect dress. Thank god Kella and I were the same size. Surely in her shoe closet (which was almost the size of my room) there had to be something.

Throwing my bags on my bed, I stripped out of my clothes and headed for the bathroom. If I had to pick one thing I loved most about Kella’s house it was the bathroom. The huge double shower had four (yes four) faucets with amazing water pressure blasting out of each of them. There was a reason I usually spent too long in the shower. Today though, it needed to be a fast one, as I was already running late. Back in my room I dug out my nice underwear, and slipped into my new dress. Paired with some strappy sandals, I looked pretty damn good.

I checked the address Dane had sent me against the house I’d just pulled up in front of.

It was nice. Really nice. A town house on the outskirts of town; I wondered how he could afford such a nice place on his own. Kella’s house was great, her parents covering all her rent, and it was nothing on this place. His parents must be pretty loaded. Checking my make up in the rear vision mirror, I stepped out of the car. My heels clicked as I walked across the pavement. Heels were a bad idea, as my foot was already throbbing and I’d barely taken two steps. I planned to kick them off the moment I was inside.

I walked up the small path that led to the steps by the front door. Checking my reflection in the window pane one last time, I rang the bell. I loved this dress. It made my legs look super long, and hid my wide hips. The color also brought out the green of my eyes, the same eyes Dane had previously mentioned.

Dane opened the door, his eyes widening slightly as he smiled at me. My heart fluttered as I took in his appearance, he had skipped his usual jeans for a pair of black chinos, and a grey button down shirt. His short dark hair was swept back out of his blue eyes. Blue eyes that were firmly planted on mine.

“Lily…wow,” He shook his head, as if no words could accurately describe what he was seeing. I blushed. “You look amazing. Seriously…wow,” Leaning in, he kissed me on the cheek. I closed my eyes as his lips touched my skin, breathing in the sweet scent of his aftershave.

“Thanks,” I smiled back. He stood, still staring at me. Was he going to let me in? It was freezing outside, and I was actually starting to shake from the cold, “Um, Dane?”

“Yes?” He smiled, cocking his head to the side, a sexy grin spreading across his lips. What did he think I was about to ask him?

“Can I come in?”

“Oh, shit, of course!” He moved aside, ushering me in, “Sorry,” He made a face and I giggled. Well that was a first. I’d never rendered a man speechless,
and
unable to react. I sighed as the wonderful smell of garlic and chicken wafted into my senses.

“Smells lovely,” I smiled, “Garlic?” I added, giggling, wondering if that put an end to another make out session like last night. I hoped not.

To my amusement, he blushed.

“Yes, I guess I really didn’t think that one through,” He replied, only now realizing the potential for some serious garlic breath, “I chose chicken because I know you eat it.” He added.

Right, the other night. That had been a damn good chicken ballotine, too. I thought it was cute he went with something he knew I’d eat, like he really put some thought into what he wanted to cook me. He’d talked himself up pretty high last night though, so he had some big expectations to meet.

“No, garlic’s great. I love garlic. I’d brush my teeth with it if it were socially acceptable,” I was babbling, and I couldn’t stop. At least he seemed to be as nervous as I did.

“Really?” He replied. Oh god. That sparkle in his eyes was driving me insane. And his lips, they looked so soft, so kissable. He was so damn sexy.

“Moving on,” I winced, stepping out of my heels. The relief was instant.

That was better. I wiggled my foot, the aching beginning to subside.

“Come and sit down. How is it?” He asked, concerned, leading me to the sofa in the living room, which overlooked the kitchen in a very open style. It was nice, modern and clean, much cleaner than I’d been expecting. Was it always this tidy, or had he made an extra effort for me? Either way, I was happy.

“It’s better than it was. The heels might have been a bit much, though,” I said, smiling. Dane laughed, sitting next to me on the sofa. I jumped in surprise as he reached down and yanked my leg onto his lap, his quick movement sending the edges of my dress upward. I tugged them down, pretending I hadn’t just exposed myself as he pretended not to notice.

“Thought this might help,” He murmured, gently rubbing my foot in such a way that had me close to groaning in pleasure. His hands were magic, with just the right amount of pressure to ease the pain and discomfort my heels hand caused. I groaned, biting my lip, unable to stop the smile from spreading across my lips, as I imagined how well his hands would work on other parts of my body. I opened my eyes to find Dane staring at me.

“What?” I asked, embarrassed of the effect his massage had had on me.

“Nothing,” He murmured, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He continued to stare at me as he massaged all the stress out of my foot, “You seem to be enjoying this, that’s all.”

“I am,” I replied honestly, “You have magical fingers,” My hand shot to my mouth as soon as I said it. He chuckled as I flushed with embarrassment.

“You know what I mean,” I said, covering my face with my hands. He laughed again, gently setting my foot on the floor.

“I better finish dinner. Can I get you a drink?” He asked. I nodded. He carried over a can of coke and set it in front of me, along with a glass full of ice.

“So, nice place,” I commented, popping the top on the can and filling the glass. Nice place? Maybe I should’ve practiced the small talk some more in front of the mirror.
Don’t you dare start going on about the weather, Lily.

“It is. Really nice. Almost too big for one person though,” He glanced around. That was a nice way of dropping into the conversation he lived alone, not that it surprised me. According to Kella after he dropped out, he also dropped out of his crowd of friends. I so desperately wanted to know what that was all about, but I was afraid to ask. I was afraid pressuring him would push him away. Right now I wanted to do all I could to push him
toward
me.

“You’ve never considered a roommate?” I asked innocently. Yes, so I was still fishing, not that I actually expected him to reveal anything. He seemed hell bent on keeping his activity last year far from our conversation topics.

“I like my space,” He answered, heading back into the kitchen, “I like not having to worry about anyone else, you know?” I did, I knew exactly what he meant. As much as I lived living with Kella, there were times when you just wanted to be selfish and not have to consider the other person’s feelings.

“Sometimes I feel like that,” I admitted, carrying my coke into the kitchen to watch him cook. “Other times, I love the company. I guess part of that comes from growing up, always around Abby.” He lifted the lid on the pan on the stove, the smell of creamy chicken making my stomach growl. He hid a smile, turning back to the oven to get the potatoes.

“Hungry?” He asked, piling the potatoes onto a serving dish. I nodded, trying to cover up another stomach growl.

“You couldn’t tell?” I asked dryly, holding my hands out for the potatoes. He handed them to me, his fingers brushing mine, purposely, from the way his eyes locked with mine. I carried them and my drink to the set table, Dane following me with the chicken and vegetables.

“This looks amazing, Dane. I’m impressed,” And it did, I couldn’t wait to dig in. He motioned for me to start, as he went back to the counter for the pitcher of water. Piling my plate high with food, I was far from shy when it came to my appetite. Dane grinned, watching me as I took my first mouthful. God it was delicious. Perfectly cooked chicken breast, and the roast potatoes were crispy on the outside, while soft and fluffy inside. Exactly as they should be.

“Freaking delicious. You can cook for me anytime,” I said, covering my mouth with my hand, so as not to show him an eyeful of half eaten food. He laughed, serving himself.

“I might just do that, sexy,” He said chuckling. Sexy? I liked that.

After dinner and dessert, which was a heavenly chocolate pecan pie, we loaded the dishwasher (which I insisted on helping him with), and then sat down on the sofa together. We spent the next few hours getting to know each other better, learning everything from embarrassing childhood moments, to our dreams, and where we wanted our futures to head.

“I haven’t even asked you what you’re studying,” I said, embarrassed. Was I that self-absorbed? That should’ve been one of the first things to come up in our conversations, considering we shared a few of the same classes.

“Social work. I’ve wanted to be a youth worker since I was young. My family used to foster kids in trouble,” He explained. How was there so much about this boy I didn’t know, and could he honestly get any more perfect? “After Steffy was gone, helping other kids kind of became mom’s life work.”

“Wow, that’s really admirable, especially after losing a child. Most people couldn’t cope with the stress of looking after troubled kids even without the added stress of that kind of tragedy.” Myself, I didn’t think I could have. Even though I was studying psychology, with my dream being to help children who have lost a sibling, I still felt my dreams nowhere neared the magnitude of his family’s achievements. Glancing at my watch, I was surprised to see it was nearly one in the morning. I began gathering my things.