Insane City (46 page)

The pontoon boat was pulling away from the
Barco Loco
, Seth holding the outboard tiller. In a few

minutes, he was riding a wave onto the sand and jumping out into the surf, the Groom Posse helping him

drag the boat up the beach, out of reach of the waves. Seth started walking briskly toward the hotel, Kevin

and Marty flanking him, Big Steve a step behind.

“What’s the plan?” said Marty.

“Right now,” said Seth, “I need to see Tina.”

“She’s seriously pissed,” said Kevin.

“I know,” said Seth. “I don’t blame her.” He looked at his watch. “But I still think this can all work

out.”

“What about the Haitian woman?” said Marty.

“I’m hoping you guys can help with that. Keep an eye out for the immigration agents, and as soon as

they leave, Laurette and the kids can come in.”

“And then what?” said Marty.

Seth glanced at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, they’re still here illegally. They can still be picked up and sent back to Haiti.”

“I’m hoping they can stay here until tomorrow, and her sister will show up and take her somewhere

safe.”

“That’s it? That’s your plan? Hoping?”

“You have a better one?”

“Not at the moment. But maybe I can devise a legal strategy.”

Seth stopped, faced Marty. “No offense, Marty, but this situation is already fucked up enough.”

“So you’re saying you have no faith in my legal abilities.”

“None whatsoever.”

“Fair enough.”

They were walking again, reaching the hotel.

“I think that’s them,” said Kevin, pointing.

Through the bank of windows along the rear wall of the Ritz they could see the four uniformed

immigration agents gathered in the lobby. They were talking to a fifth figure.

“Is that a
flamingo
?” said Seth.

“That’s Mike Clark,” said Marty.

Seth stared at the flamingo. “You’re shitting me.”

“Don’t worry. He gets to take it off for the wedding.”

“What?” said Seth.

“They’re moving,” said Kevin.

Seth and Marty looked through the window. The agents were breaking up their gathering, heading in

different directions.

“OK,” said Seth, “you guys keep an eye on them. I’m going to go see Tina.” He glanced at his watch

again. “We can still make this all work.” He opened the hotel door and was gone.

“Sure we can,” said Marty.

74

“Uh-oh,” said Bobby.

“What?” said Duane.

“Chopper,” said Bobby, pointing north.

It was hugging the shoreline. The black-and-white fuselage said POLICE and, below that, MIAMI-DADE.

“Maybe he’s not looking for us,” said Duane.

“That’d be good.”

As the chopper neared the Ritz-Carlton, it banked left and curved out over the water. It stopped

directly over the
Barco Loco
, hovering.

“I guess he’s looking for us,” said Duane.

75

Seth rang the door to Tina’s suite, waited.

The door opened: It was Marcia Clark. She was dressed for the wedding. Her hair appeared to be

even more perfect than usual.

“Hey, Marcia,” said Seth.

Marcia scanned Seth with icy blue eyes, starting with his unbrushed hair, moving down to his

unshaven face, then his sweat-stained shirt, then his seawater-soaked pants, then his bare feet. Her gaze

traveled back up to his face, her expression that of a woman who has discovered a pubic hair in her

yogurt.

“I know I’m kind of a mess,” he said. “But it’s been—”

“Tina,” Marcia called over her shoulder. “He’s here.” Marcia exited the suite, taking care not to get

close to Seth, and walked away down the hall.

Seth stepped inside, closed the door. “Tina?” he said.

No answer.

“Tina?” He walked through the foyer, saw her standing at the far end of the suite by the balcony

door, facing away from him. She was wearing her $137,000 wedding dress made of eco-sustainable

fibers.

“Teen?” he said.

She turned around, and he inhaled sharply. Tina was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and

right now she looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her. She also looked, he thought, remarkably

calm.

“Teen,” he said, stepping forward, opening his arms.

She raised her manicured hands, palms out.

“Right,” he said, stopping.

“Did you know,” she said, “that you’re on the TV news?”

“Tina, I am really, really sorry.”

“Sorry that you’re on the news?”

“Well, yeah, that, and everything else.”

“What else?”

“That I got into this whole mess.”

“On our wedding day.”

“Yes.”

“On our
wedding day
, Seth.” Tina’s calm was beginning to leave her.

“I know, I know. I totally fucked up.”

“How could you do this?
How?
”

“Teen, listen, please. Part of it was getting wasted on South Beach. That was just stupid. I have no

excuse for that, losing the ring—”

“You
lost the ring
?”

“No, no, I got it back. I have it right here.” Seth patted his pocket. “But please listen, Teen. The other

part, the part about Laurette, that’s different.”

“Yesterday, after the rehearsal, you promised me—you
promised
me—that you would make them

leave.”

“I know. And I tried to. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t kick them out.”

Tina sighed. “You’re a nice guy, Seth. But you let people take advantage of you.”

“They’re not taking advantage of—”

“Yes they
are
, Seth. They’re
using
you.”

“Teen, they’re not using me. They don’t even speak English. They’re lost and helpless and scared to

death. And then your father’s two thugs grabbed them, taking them God knows where. I couldn’t let that

happen, Teen. It was just wrong.”

Tina was silent for a few seconds. Then she said, “They were taking them to the immigration

authorities.”

“What?”

“Castronovo and Brewer were taking the Haitians to the federal immigration authorities.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because that’s what my father told them to do.”

Seth was staring at her. “So you knew about this.”

“Yes.”

“And the immigration agents in the hotel right now, you know about them?”

“My father called them when we found out you were bringing the Haitians back to the hotel.”

“
When we found out
meaning when you found out and told your father.”

“Yes.”

“I see,” said Seth.

“No, you
don’t
see. Here’s what you think, Seth. You think you’re being a selfless hero, I’m being a

rich spoiled bitch who only cares about her wedding and doesn’t give a shit about the poor Haitians.”

“No I don’t—”

“Yes, that’s
exactly
what you think, Seth. And it’s
bullshit
. Let me ask you, have you ever, in your

entire life, done anything—one single fucking thing—to bring about immigration reform?”

“No.”

“No. You’ve been busy. Well, guess what, Seth? While you’ve been tweeting about douche, I
have

worked for immigration reform. I’ve signed petitions, written letters, gone to rallies. I know more about

immigration reform than you ever will, Seth. And I know you don’t bring about immigration reform by

breaking the law and fleeing from the police with a fucking orangutan.”

“Listen, Tina, I—”

“No,
you
listen. Those people knowingly broke the law, coming here. They might have gotten away

with it, but now, thanks to you and your bimbo friend and your orangutan, they’re famous. So no matter

what you do or I do or my father does, they’re going to wind up in federal custody, and they’ll probably

have to go back to Haiti, where they’ll be no worse off than they were. But the point is, whatever’s going

to happen to them is out of your hands, and it’s out of my hands. Do you understand that?”

Seth was quiet for a few seconds, then said, “Yes.”

“Good. So now you have a decision to make: Do you want to keep playing hero? Or do you want to

marry me? Because you can’t do both.”

“You still want to marry me?”

“Yes. This is an aberration, this hero thing. It’s not you, Seth. I know that. But it has to end now. I

want those people—the Haitians, the bimbo, all of them—out of this hotel. Now. I want them all gone.”

“Actually, they’re not in the hotel,” said Seth. He went to the balcony door, pointed out toward the

Barco Loco
. He’d been hearing the helicopter noise, and saw now that it was a police helicopter,

hovering over the pirate ship.

“A pirate ship?” said Tina. “Seriously?”

“Meghan’s on there,” said Seth.

Tina sighed and shook her head. “Why am I not surprised? Daddy can get her off.”

“I’ll go get her,” said Seth. “I need to at least explain what’s happening to—”

“No,”
snapped Tina. “You stay away from the boat. If you go out there, you’ll be caught up in that

whole mess again.”

“Teen, I already
am
caught up in it.”

“No you’re not. Not anymore. It’s over. You want to marry me, you stay away from that boat. Daddy

will handle the boat. That’s no longer your concern. You go get ready for the wedding. For
our
wedding.”

“You really still want to marry me.”

“I want to marry the guy I’ve been with for the past two years. The guy I planned this wedding with.

That’s who you are, Seth. That’s the guy I want.”

Seth nodded. “OK,” he said.

“Good. Now go get ready. And get your guys ready. Blaze is freaking out.”

Seth turned, started toward the door, stopped, turned back.

“What?” said Tina.

“I love you, Teen,” said Seth.

Tina smiled, a breathtakingly beautiful smile.

“I know you do,” she said.

Seth turned and left.