Innkeeper's Daughter (2 page)

“I love you, Rachel”

“I believe that, Sterling but are
you
in love
with me? See that’s the problem.”

“Of course I am.”

“Sterling, stop. Don’t call me
for the next five days. Just come home when you know for sure.” And just like
that she hung up.

I sat there in the chair thinking
of our old life and how I messed it up. I pictured her baby blues, wishing they
looked at me the same way they used to. Every once in a while I would catch a
sparkle in her eyes but that light would quickly fade like our marriage slowly
was. 

Of course, I’m in love with her,
right? I married her. I thought of all the fighting, the arguing, getting
kicked out then let back in, sleeping in separate rooms, the not talking for
days, me busting my ass for over a year to make up for it, but could I ever?

I sat forward rubbing my forehead
contemplating our life, wondering if we stood a chance, when there was a knock
at the door.

“Come in,” I yelled from across
the room.

In walked Hanna. “I have towels,”
she said holding fresh new white ones with the resort’s emblem, ‘IK’ embroidered
in green on them. She didn’t take them to the bathroom or place them down. She
expected me to come get them.

I got up and took them from her
as her green orbs stayed engrossed in me. “Doesn’t housekeeping normally do
this? I didn’t’ expect you to come,” I said as my hands accidently brushed
against hers. My stomach flipped, fighting the urge to face her when we
touched. An electric surge shot to my groin as if her hand pressed up against
me there when we touched. Her candid stare stirred something within to me that
should never be. Desire. It was unsettling. 

I quickly walked away. I didn’t
mean to make contact with her skin, but with the way she held them so close to
her chest I had no choice. She just stood there offering expecting me to take.

“How soon can you be ready in the
morning?” she asked ignoring my question.

Remembering her father was
adamant about me taking ski lessons from her, I went along with it for now.
Maybe I would do just one or two lessons then call it quits. She was a bit too inquisitive
for me and that spelled danger.

“We can start as early as nine.”
I really didn’t know what time was good for skiing.

“Seven-thirty would be better,”
She advised walking over to my dresser and planting her bottom firmly against
it, her eyes still trying to read me as if I were a map to a hidden treasure,
as her finger looped through her coils inspecting me like she had no clue as to
what I was. “That way not too many people will be out when we begin.”

I noticed she had less of an
accent than the others. “Sure whatever you think is best,” I said keeping a
safe distance. I remembered something my mother always said ‘Curiosity killed
the cat’ but in my sick mind I always joked ‘Satisfaction brought him back’.
That satisfaction is what got me into trouble.

“Cool.” She smiled as her top lip
slightly twitched. And as she brushed her hair back behind her left ear I could
see her hands slightly tremble. 

She was raw. I could tell, but
when you’re that young sometimes that naivety will get you or the other person
in trouble. “I will check your outfit in the morning then we’ll start.” she
headed to the door, stopped turned back for about ten seconds as if to say
something, then left without a word.

Only two lessons, Sterling,
then you’re done.

     We were one of first ones
out. There were a few instructors and maybe one or two guests. We were geared
up and strapped in after she showed me how to do it correctly. My legs felt
strange bound tightly but I got used to it. Somewhat.

Next step, she showed me how to
stand without sliding, how to fall, how to walk and how to turn. It was much
harder than I realized.

“I’ve never been this clumsy
before. I swear I’m not drunk,” I laughed fully aware of my awkward stance. She
reached out to touch me but stopped short. I nodded my head “yes” giving her
approval to guide me in the right position.

“Don’t worry, you will get the
hang of it,” she said hesitantly grabbing my waist to show me proper body
alignment.

“When? In ten years? I chuckled
needing to laugh at this sad display called myself. I’m usually cooler than
this or in control, but not today. “It shouldn’t be this hard to keep your legs
closed.” I yelled as my legs widened uncontrollably with each movement.

“If I can learn as a child then you
can do this.”  She giggled barely making eye contact with me as her cheeks
flushed. She bit her bottom lip to stop her nervous twitching.

“Are you comparing me to a
child?”

“No!” she screeched loudly. It
was endearing. “I was just telling you it’s possible. I teach so many people,
but I find the men to be more tight. Women are more flexible.” Hanna quickly
turned away after her last sentence, her cheeks more flushed then they had been
all morning. Initially it was the morning chill that made her cheeks rosy, but
now what she said made her blush. I said nothing at first, watching her fidget.
I admired her bubbly personality and truly appreciated her gift of compliment,
but especially her virtuousness.

“Let’s see it then.” She faced me
a bit confused. “I’ve held you back all morning. Let’s see what you can do,” I
said.

“No, no this is your time,” she
said bashfully.

“Please Hanna, I could use the
break.”

“All right.” She dipped her head
as she spoke as if to say ‘as you wish’.  I didn’t know how to take that so I
smiled.

She glided off in our area and
showed me her talents. She appeared weightless and free. I don’t think it was possible
for her to have smiled any broader. She was beautiful. Her positioning was not
awkward as if the snow provided no resistance. Off she went to enjoy herself. 
That time gave me the opportunity to take a breath and remind myself to stop
admiring so much.

After she glided back up the
bunny slope she skied towards me playfully batting her eyes. Her glide was
impeccable and her positioning was perfect. She focused only on me the closer
she got, but then her smiled wavered and her breathing seemed to have slowed. I
was caught off guard by her intense gaze. Without forethought a famous line
came to me, “She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry
skies…”

“What?” she stopped short.

I could not see my reflection but
I could imagine my cheeks turning the brightest shade of red. “Sorry. It’s
nothing.” I stuttered. “Just talking gibberish.” I answered, not meaning to
have spoken aloud. “Anyway are you ready to help this sad excuse of a skier.”

“Sure,” she breathed watching me
warily.

She showed me all the basics and
by the time I got somewhat of the hang of it, it was time for lunch.  I was ready
to have a seat. One that was on purpose and not unplanned. 

“You are really a great, teacher,
Hanna,” I said when we sat down inside the resort’s restaurant. I was actually
surprised. Although it was difficult she made it somewhat simpler. “You make it
enjoyable.”

“Thank you.” she lowered her
head, pushed her hair behind her left ear then slowly raised her head to
retort.  “That’s because we’ve just started. You just wait until we get on the
slopes.” Her bottom lip twitched this time as she spoke, then she turned away
after staring for what I guess to her was a few seconds too long.

Her flirtatious shyness was
refreshing. Welcoming even. I could not help but stare at the wide eyed beauty.
She had a great personality and when we talked I could not help but notice her
features. She could easily pass for her mid-twenties; her bone structure was so
developed. What I noted the most was her mouth. It was exceptional; pink, pouty
and full.

White icing from a cupcake clung
to her top lip but she hadn’t become aware of it. And for a split second I was
jealous of a non-living element. She noticed me staring at her lips and licked
the sweetness off them, trying not to stare at me when she did it. I wanted to reach
across the table and kiss her. Everything she did was a seduction. There was an
air about her that pulled me in but I didn’t even know her. Yes, I’d crossed
the line, before but that was an unexpected mistake. This one was staring me in
the face daring me to take the risk.

What are you thinking,
Sterling?

“How’s everything going,
Sterling.” John came and patted me on the back.

“Oh, great, John.” I hurriedly
stood up half startled and half guilty for what I was thinking, thoughts that
could prove lethal for me. “I was just telling Hanna that she is a great
teacher.”

“I told you,” The proud father
beamed. “Don’t let her kill you though. She can be tough.”

“Oh, pa. Stop or you’ll make him
run away.”

John mockingly gave a scared
look. “Well, good luck, Sterling.” I thanked him and he sauntered off.

“You have more clients today?” I
asked sitting back down unable to make eye contact at first. Remorseful
thoughts.

She shook her head. “No, just
you.” she pointed at me with her fry. “You signed up for a ski package deal for
the next few days and that’s just what you’re going to get. I’m at your beck
and call,” She joked.

“I’m looking forward to it,” I
said feeling myself grinning back and getting pulled back into her web.
Interest had already started to get the best of me. I needed to change the
subject.

“So what is there to do for
entertainment in this quant town called Vail?” wondering about the town’s night
life. I was thinking that I may take a drive around later on. That is if I
wasn’t too tired.

“Here? Nothing, that’s why I
cannot wait to get out.”

“You would want to leave your
family business? But you’re so good at teaching.”

“But that’s all I’ve ever done. I
want to get away from the mountains and live by the sea. My parents are so
boring. They don’t ever want to travel.” She aggressively tugged on her straw. 
“I swear as soon as I get out of here, I’m running straight to Aman Sveti
Stefan.” Her mind drifted off as if she could visualize the island she spoke
of. “Have you heard of it?”

A lump caught in my throat
rendering me speechless at first. “Yes, yes I know the place. It’s in
Montenegro. The island is a romantic getaway that I’ve wanted to go so many
times but…” I cleared my throat. “Anyway, I’m surprised that you’ve heard of
it. Not that many people have.”  She practically rendered me speechless. So
many times I’ve asked Rachel to go but she never liked to travel outside the
states or barely at all anymore. I’ve tried spur of the moment trips, romantic
getaways within the States or sent her poetry but she was never impressed, even
before this past year. 

A chill ran up my back and part
of me told me to get out of there, but I didn’t follow caution. Then again I
never do, even though this time thunderstorms sounded in my head.

“Vail may be small, but we are
connected to the world,” She sarcastically remarked.

All I could do was listen to the
rest of the conversation instead of listening to my own damn instincts which
told me to flee.

After lunch she showed me the
sign for the slopes and which ones were more dangerous than others. She had me
try a few things like the chairlift and bunny slope.  Now staring directly into
my eyes when touching my arm, back or hands, as she explained everything. Was
it done on purpose? I made up my mind to ignore it, thinking it would go away,
or that it was just me feeling lonely. I was.

***

The day was full and I was tired.
Skiing was definitely more work than I expected. The shower seemed to have
warmed me all over even though it took some time. I worked out heavily on a
regular basis but my body never took a beating like it did today. I allowed the
warmth to wash over me like a massage. It felt so damn good against my skin.

Once again I called down for
towels and once again it was Hanna who delivered them. I had barely pulled up
my pants before there was a knock at the door.

“Give me a minute,” I shouted
while grabbing a shirt off the hanger. Before I could put it on Hanna walked in
carrying fresh white towels.

“I brought you towels,” She said
this time placing them on the table then walking over to me. I had forgotten to
put on a shirt, surprised that she was back again for the second night. She
closed the distance between us with her hands behind her back staring at my
still wet chest then back to my eyes. She stood so close that I didn’t know
what to think for a minute.

“Hanna…” I stepped back.

“Yes,” she responded but in a way
as if answering a question only she knew.

Her eyes burrowed into me like
they were digging their way to my soul. “You shouldn’t be here,” I whispered
gripping my shirt. She said nothing. For a long while neither of us did.

God, get this child who so
desperately wants to be a woman out my room, before I break. 

But all I could think of was how
long had it been since I’d made love to a woman, a woman who desired me like a
thirsty creature in the dessert. I was that creature who so desperately wanted his
needs to be quenched.

“Hanna, I’m married,” I finally
said not sure if I was being presumptuous.

She pointed to my ring finger.
“But that’s not what your finger says, or do not all married couples wear
rings?” she asked it so harmlessly, without disrespect, just stating a fact,
but those simple words slapped me hard in the face. I had forgotten to put my
ring back on after this morning’s shower or did I?

“I will see you in the morning,”
she walked backwards towards the door. She gave me a half grin and waited for
me to grin back. I obliged so she would leave.

I sat down on the bed and decided
to order room service instead. I didn’t want to take a chance of running into
her again.

I could not help but wonder if
this is something she did. Flirt with older men or the single men in the
resort. Maybe she was too young to know what she was doing. Her father seemed
unaware of her curiosity or her beauty. It was then I decided to talk to her
instead of ignoring her.

***

The next day consisted more of
both, with the skiing and the touching during our numerous breaks. She asked me
a lot of questions. During lunch I told her a bit about my world, where I’d come
from and where I’d ventured to. I told her about traveling while in the army,
about other places and the people I’d met.

Most of these places she was
familiar with and dreamt of going to. She actually had plans for each country.
In Paris, finish her book of poetry, as I have dreamt of going so many times,
or sky dive in Spain and snorkel in the Caribbean. She was fearless. “One thing
I must do is learn how to surf and it has to be in Hawaii. I know it’s been
done like a thousand times, but I’m doing it when I get out of here.” Hanna’s
eyes lit up when she spoke of leaving here.

“You keep saying when you get
out. Do you not plan on going to college or can’t you just go when you’re
ready? You’re almost twenty.” I didn’t understand what she meant. She spoke as
if she were trapped.

“Nope.” The sparkle withdrew from
her eyes and her face sorrowed as she faced away from her untouched meal. “My
parents are insistent that I stay here and run the family business.” Sadness
showed not only on her face but her mood darkened. It was obvious that she was
not happy about her parent’s decision.

“Sorry about that. You don’t have
any other siblings that could take over instead. I mean why you?”

The light in her eyes dimmed even
further. “No,” she said, but I had a feeling there was more to that answer than
what she gave. I didn’t push it.  Possibly a freak skiing accident killed a
sibling.

To lighten her mood again I told
her about the Caribbean. And her mind traveled with me, staying captivated to
my every word. It felt good. As shallow as that sounded, being listened to is
pleasant. Someone showing interest was even better.

She was so easy to talk to. I
felt relaxed around her. It was as if we’d been friends for years, talking of
our dreams and the exhilarating risks we wanted to take, ranging from cliff
jumping in Greece to deep sea diving in Egypt, Australia or the Galapagos
Islands. A must for both of us
was a safari in
Africa. We spoke of what we would do there, how the places neither had gone
would be like and how long we would stay. We talked so long we all but booked
the flights.

At one point she grabbed my hand
forcing me back to reality. I then remembered we were just two strangers
passing through time. We did not belong to each other and this was getting too
real. I was getting too caught up in a woman that was not my wife, but it had
been so long since I felt this excited about anything.

I searched passersby’s faces and
slowly pulled back my hand. I sat back in the chair.  We were sitting too
close. She saw me pull back but didn’t say anything. We just sat there facing
each other. I was getting wrapped up in a fantasy. We both were.

I wanted to avoid bruising her
feelings, but the touching I could not chance. She was a lovely young woman who
was interested in a man, a man that hadn’t touched a woman in over a year. This
was a test. A test of strength, and if I didn’t stay away from Hanna I would surely
fail.