I contemplated this. What else was there to ask him? I knew I always had many questions rolling around my psyche about him. But were there any that I was willing to share with him?
“
What all can you do?” I looked at him. “You said all of you are this way. So what can all of you do?”
Slade bit at his lip. “I can make things appear. I’m sure you already figured that out. And enough time has passed for me to really hone in on my skills to where I also can influence objects.”
I pushed my hair behind my ear, staring into the crowd. “And people. You made Officer Perkins stun Tucker that night.” I would never forget that.
Slade nodded. “Yeah, like that.”
“
What can Lucy do?” I asked excitedly. I wanted to hear the explanation.
“
A lot. I think that’s something you should ask her about, though,” Slade said quickly, going silent. “And as for Kidd and Oz. Well, Kidd figured it out quickly. He can manipulate emotions, read people’s thoughts, and lord knows what else. He’s sort of a jack of all trades.”
“
How can someone manipulate someone’s emotions?” I asked. “Can he manipulate mine?” I hoped not because the thought someone else was making me feel any certain way wasn’t a fun contemplation.
“
Don’t worry about Kidd. He doesn’t manipulate anyone that doesn’t need manipulation. And Karsen is fine. I’m pretty sure she would sleep with him on her own free will.” Slade laughed at the last part.
“
But who would need manipulation?”
“
Anyone who poses a threat. It’s not something he just runs around doing.” His answers were so short and to the point.
“
What about Oz?”
Slade shrugged. “Oz keeps a tight grip on his abilities. But I do know he can conjure up some great food. Or maybe he is just a great cook.”
I shot Slade a sullied look. “So you’re saying no one knows what Oz is capable of?”
“
Pretty much. We have power, that doesn’t mean we run around using it, Hope.”
“
But you did. I got this black heart on my wrist as proof that you do, and I see you use it all the time around me,” I pointed out.
“
Yeah, well, they all would be pretty pissed if they knew that I was, so let’s keep that to ourselves. It’s not something to play around with, believe me,” he said, standing up.
“
I think Lucy knows a lot more than you realize. The way she looked at the two of us, it’s obvious she sees something between us.” I smiled, but Slade didn’t.
“
You think she sees something?” He seemed engrossed in my theory. A little too engrossed.
“
Well, judging by her knowing smile and telling us to be alone, it seems that way. I think she knows we like each other.” And I did. And I didn’t see anything wrong with that. But judging by Slade’s turn of phrase he did.
“
I don’t want anyone knowing what we did on the beach,” he said suddenly.
“
What? Why?” I asked, feeling hurt. What happened on the beach was beautiful to me. And I had thought it was to him too.
Slade sat back down. “Because it’s none of anyone’s business and the less anyone knows, the better.”
I pulled away from Slade’s grasp. “You’re ashamed?”
“
No, Hope, I’m not ashamed. Can’t this just be private?” His eyes were overflowing with concern.
My heart ached. It was like he had trampled my soul. “It’s just the two of us up here. There is nothing more private than this. So tell me the real reason you don’t want to share what we have between us. Is it because there is nothing?”
Slade raked his hand through his hair. “I like you, but there are just some things you don’t understand, and I don’t know how to get you to without—”
“
Wow. I think it’s easier to just say it’s me not you. Or I was only looking to get into your pants,” I snapped. At least it was an explanation that made sense.
“
Look at me,” Slade said, pulling my face to his. He ran a hand across my cheek, staring into my eyes. “I like you a lot, Hope. But, it’s not that easy. And I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“
What could hurt more than this? I never slept with anyone before you. I never even considered sleeping with anyone before you. And now you’re sitting here telling me that what happened can’t be anything more than our little secret.” I pulled away from him. I didn’t want to hear any more.
“
I don’t want to hurt you. You’re a nice girl. But me trying to drag you into this lifestyle will only hurt you.”
“
And yet here I am at the concert, all because you invited me.” I shot him a look, waiting to hear his justification for playing his mind games with me. He asked me here, not the other way around.
“
You love music. I didn’t see anything wrong with bringing you here,” he argued.
“
Then why the kiss, the flirtation. Why any of it? You’re the one who pursued me. I didn’t kiss you.” I tried swallowing but couldn’t, my throat felt like it was full of cotton.
“
Attraction is a bitch. Hope, where you going?” Slade called after me as I shimmied down the side of the bus in a hurry to get Karsen and leave.
I searched for her at the front of the bus, the music flooding my ears. She was nowhere to be found outside. Throwing open the door, the bus looked to be empty.
“
Hope,” Slade called after me, coming into the bus behind me. I stared around the room, looking for any signs of Karsen.
“
I just need my friend and then I’ll get out of your way,” I said angrily. I headed past the bunks, going for Slade’s bedroom. Pretty much the only room on the bus with a door.
“
They’re not in my room. Will you let me finish talking to you? I don’t want to leave things like this,” Slade said, following me through the door.
“
What else could you possibly need to say?” I asked. He had broken my heart, my ego and now he had more?
Slade shut the door behind him. “I have a lot to say to you.”
I crossed my arms and stared him down.
“
When this happened to me, when I became what I am…”
“
A witch. When you became a male witch. Is that even possible?” I jabbed.
“
When I became a witch. And, yes, it is possible. I also made a really awful mistake.”
“
And what is that? Or is this another excuse or reason to let me down gently?”
Slade sighed. “I met a girl. A girl that was part of this new world I was thrust into, and I thought I was really into her. But I think she was into me more than I was into her. Things didn’t end well, and now a lot of bad things happen if I start to grow feelings for anyone else.”
I raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
“
I’m not lying to you. It’s like I told you, this is much bigger than what I could ever explain to you.”
“
So you’re telling me some ex-girlfriend put a spell on you to curse you into never being able to be in love with another girl?” I rolled my eyes.
“
Any other human.” He dropped his head.
“
Well, how convenient I happen to be human. And this would have been nice to know before you decided to have sex with me. And before you wanted to make me have feelings for you.” I turned to leave.
Slade grabbed my arm, stopping me. “I don’t want you to go. But I’m afraid if you stay something bad will happen to you.” He brought his lips to mine, his tongue slipping passed my mouth. A warm energy filled my chest. I couldn’t pull away if I wanted to.
I worked quickly, pawing at his clothes, quickly undressing him, Slade not able to get me out of my clothes fast enough. He pulled me closer, running his hands down the length of my body, his lips following along the trail.
Slade pushed me back onto his bed. He grabbed me by the waist, pulling me toward him and slipping inside of me. I let out a low moan, pleased to feel him so close to my skin. I locked my legs around him, his mouth plundering mine again.
A quick energy started up, causing an intense bombardment of feelings. I held tight to his back, my arms clutching him, pulling him to me. I only wanted to be near him, feel his skin against mine. Smell his scent, taste him.
Slade fell cautiously to the side, pulling me on top of him. I hesitated for only a second before I took control. He slid his hands up my waist, touching the sensitive skin on my sides.
“
You can’t do this. I don’t care if I’m hurt,” I pleaded, moving naturally with his body.
He shushed me with his fingertips, enjoying the control I was taking.
S
lade was standing behind me, his hands on my hips, his mouth pressed against my neck. “I really got to get out there and sing before they start a riot.”
I brought a hand to his face, breathing him in. “I can’t wait to hear you.”
“
I’ll be thinking about you.” He pressed a soft kiss into my neck and then against my shoulder. I watched him drag his shirt over his head, his abs disappearing from sight sadly.
It was as if what he said up on the roof no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered was how he made me feel. I didn’t care. I gathered my clothes from the floor, slipping them back on. Slade worked his belt through his pants quietly.
“
Hopefully Kidd has the equipment ready,” Slade said more to himself. He tugged his bedding back onto the bed, tidying his room quickly before we headed out the doors. I held tight to his hand, laughing at his little digs about my animalistic ways in between the sheets.
“
Could I use your bathroom real fast? I need to freshen up,” I asked. He let go of my hand.
“
Yeah, I’ll be on stage. See you in a few.” He kissed my cheek, taking off through the crowd.
I watched for a brief second before heading back through the bus. I smiled, satisfied, I was happy and not home weeping over a breakup. I grabbed the handle to the bathroom and let out a scream in shock at what I was staring at.
Karsen was propped up on the sink, her skirt hanging from one foot. And Kidd…Where to start with Kidd. His pants were gathered at his ankles as he held tight to Karsen’s legs, which were slung over both of his shoulders. The mirror was fogged up behind Karsen’s head, besides the part she had rubbed clean with her head that was following the rhythm of Kidd’s hammering, which he didn’t stop even for the likes of me.
“
I am so sorry!” I yelled, trying to block out the image of Kidd’s muscular rear and the tattoo adorning it. I ran for the door. All the while Karsen’s loud cackle sounded through the bus making me feel even more awful.
I shrank back in the shadows, afraid to look anyone in the eye. I was so mortified. I took a seat in front of the bus, trying to slow my thumping heart.
The bus door came open. “There you are. Kidd and I were looking all over for you,” Karsen teased, coming to join me.
I covered my face. “You were not looking for me. You were busy letting Kidd do bad things to you in the bathroom.”
Karsen nodded, wiping at her mouth. Her hair was disheveled, her face pink from heat. Among other things. “He’s amazing.”
I raised a hand, stopping her. “I don’t want to hear about it. And by the way, Slade was hoping he was already on stage. Were you guys in there this whole time?”
“
Nope. We actually had a tête-à-tête. And I find him very intriguing, mind you. He’s a really great guy. I think I like him.” Karsen gave a smile, but I couldn’t tell if she was serious or teasing.
“
And just like that you go into a bathroom with him?” I asked, giving her a confused glare.
“
Yeah, pretty much, I did just that. He’s different. A good different.” If only you knew, I thought to myself. Instead, I nodded that I understood. “So are we going to watch them do what they do best, or are we going to sit here and debate whether I had three orgasms or four,” she dodged my blow.
“
You’re full of shit, Karsen. It’s hard enough to have one for most girls our age let alone multiple. Did you flunk out of sex ed or something?” I asked her as we walked around to the side of the stage.
Karsen plugged her ears. The music deafening from where we stood.
“
I didn’t flunk out of anything! I just really am comfortable with my body!” she yelled over the music. “Orgasms are like a scared puppies. If you just relax and act like you’re not looking for it, then it just comes on its own.”
I shook my head at her weird theory. Puppies, really? There were a lot of other comparisons I could see using, but puppies categorically were not one of them.
Karsen threw up the devil’s horn, moving her hips to the music. “And don’t think I didn’t hear you in there. From the sound of it, I’d guess you had at least a dozen orgasms!”
I looked away as a few stagehands shot us fascinated glances. Kidd squeezed by us, giving Karsen a playful smack on the rear.
“
Break a leg!” Karsen shouted to him. He winked, hopping on stage with his guitar. He took a seat, throwing the guitar on his thigh and began strumming. The crowd cheered at full volume. I knew the song. It was the song I heard Slade sing countless times before.
Karsen gripped my arm in awe. “He looks even hotter when he plays the guitar. Omigod.”
I laughed. Just wait until she hears Slade sing, I thought to myself. Slade cupped the microphone. He walked to the edge of the stage and I started singing along to the music, mouthing every beautiful word. The crowd went wild.