Infinity Squad (17 page)

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Authors: Shuvom Ghose

Tags: #humor, #army, #clone, #war, #scifi, #Military, #aliens, #catch 22

BOOK: Infinity Squad
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Steve tried to keep up on his snake-bit healing leg, but 'medically excused' himself halfway out. Ann-Marie was rolling in her wheelchair again, since her crutches wouldn't have let her keep pace. We left the two of them at the edge of the pavement again and headed out to the open fields.

You could see that the farmers had already been hard at work, possibly non-stop, since hundreds of feet of fencing had already been put up to create animal pens, irrigations hoses had been stretched to the closest fields, and what looked like the parts for a large windmill were being assembled next to the cluster of houses.

A windmill? We had a nuclear power plant on the base, but I guess these farmers wanted to be independent, or at least self-sustaining, if military logistics failed them. That I could understand.

It was nice to see the houses and barns filled and active, even if Hughes ran us by them at a gallop. Some of the farmers looked up from their work as we passed. I heard snatches of conversation: "Infinity Squad…" or "The ones with all the skulls..."

After twenty minutes, Hughes brought us to a panting, sweating stop next to an irrigation ditch a back-hoe was creating. It was funny, but the run out didn't seem that bad this time. It must have been all the sleep I wasn't getting.

Hughes waved the back-hoe operator to stop, then turned to us with a smile.

"Since you ladies seem intent on digging holes for your commanding officer to fall into, I thought I'd let you dig one to help our friendly farmers out." He pointed to a stack of shovels. "Get started."

This part was harder than last time, because there were only five shovels for the ten of us, and the ones that weren't using them had to do jumping jacks or push-ups while they took a 'break' from digging.

The ditch was three-feet deep and wide, and we only added about ten feet to its length in a half an hour. The farmer spat on the ground while we were doing it and said, "Hell, I could have done that in five minutes. All you did was slow me down."

His gripe was directed at the Sergeant Major, not us, because he could see we weren't enjoying the situation either. But Hughes just smiled at him. "Well, don't worry, I'm sure they'll get many chances to get faster in the future. Infinity Squad- back to base!"

The farmer shook his head and gave me a sympathetic look as Hughes ran us back home and it got me thinking.

We could work with these people.

 

 

It wasn't that hard to keep up with Hughes now, I don't know if it was my body or my mind getting used to it. But the run back also gave me plenty of time to think. I turned things over in my mind one way, then the other.

Hughes left us at our barracks door with a happy, "Hope I didn't leave you too tired for your patrol tomorrow!" as he strutted off. As the door closed, I was already heading over to where Zazlu and Butcher were sitting, exhausted and chugging Gatorade on the floor.

I knelt next to them and said, "Can either of you two find out tonight if Flores is a boxing fan? If he is, then I know his key phrase."

 

 

Flores was, and that only left a few things to be done. Ann-Marie went into TacOps under the guise of planning our next patrol and somehow got Flores to log in not once, but twice. The scanners she had Grimstone put inside her crutches caught every keystroke Flores made. Ann-Marie could be scary sometimes.

I rehearsed what I would have to do until it was almost unconscious, and then there was nothing to do but kick it off. Or, more specifically, kick me off.

Dakota picked up on my mood during dinner. "What's got you so gloomy, gus?" she asked with her irresistible smile.

I really wasn't looking forward to being killed. Again. But in the crowded cafeteria, all I could say was, "Oh, you know... War is hell."

"Now, I don't believe that for a second," she replied. She patted Juan's arm next to her. "I've never seen a tighter group of soldiers fighting a more despicable enemy. You're not in some drafted army fighting other humans over politics or religion or some silly difference of opinion. You're fighting monsters! And you can come back from the dead anytime you want! Why, if there ever was a war to be in, this is it!"

"That's um... one way of looking at it," I replied, cutting my steak. How would we do it? Would Zazlu shoot me in the head? No, that wouldn't work. He'd have to shoot me in the heart, and I'd die painfully, as my brain ran out of oxygen. Maybe Steve had something he could give me. But then we'd have to tell Steve about the plan.

"Tell you what," Dakota beamed, "I'll ask my producer if we can shoot a little feature piece on Infinity Squad, how successful you've been, how dangerous your missions have been, how cute your soldiers are..." Her hand disappeared under the table and Juan jumped. He blushed and placed her hand back into sight. "But we'd have to film it tonight," she finished.

"Maybe later," I said.

She shook her head and took another tiny bite of her tiny salad. "Nope, gotta be tonight."

Ann-Marie leaned forward. "Why is that?"

Dakota pointed her fork at the sky. "Transport's leaving through the wormgate at midnight," she said with her mouth full. She swallowed. "Anything uploaded now gets sent to Earth. If not, you have to wait for the next transport."

I caught Zazlu's and Butcher's eyes. We had talked about stretch goals for the plan, what we could hope for if everything went just right. And here was the chance. It had to be tonight.

We excused ourselves early from dinner.

 

 

"Okay, which one do you want?" Zazlu asked, holding up two syringes in front of me. "Heart explodes or heart stops beating?"

I gulped. "I was hoping for death by chocolate."

"We don't have time for that," Butcher said. "Flores gets off shift in an hour."

Zazlu tapped the syringe with the milky white fluid. "Cocaine overdose, you will feel more and more manic until you have a heart attack." He shrugged. "Not bad. But this one," he said, tapping the needle with the brown colored fluid, "heroin overdose. You will feel wrapped in a cloud of unimaginable bliss, feeling more and more pleasure until you stop breathing. Now that is the way to go."

I shook my head. "No, Zaz- I'd remember that. In my brain. I don't want be addicted to heroin when I wake up!" I looked at him strangely. "Who on base do you sell that to anyway?"

He shrugged. "I am still developing the market."

"Can't I OD on weed or something?"

"No one dies from that," Butcher said, then held the two syringes up in front of me again. "You've got to choose."

I looked back and forth between the milky fluid and the brown one. "Just Say No" never prepared me for this.

"Look, doesn't Steve have some tranquilizers in his med kit we can use?"

Zazlu sighed. "You big baby."

He returned with a third syringe, this one reassuringly sealed and with gradations on the side to ensure proper dosage. He opened the package, found the vein on my arm, then looked up into my eyes very seriously.

"Now, just relax."

"Oh, very funn- OW!"

He had stuck me and pushed the plunger in completely. A lethal dose. I gulped and laid back onto my bunk. Nothing to do now but wait.

I did start to feel more relaxed, more mellow. "What are you guys going to do with my body, anyway?"

Butcher had her finger on my wrist, checking my pulse against her watch. "Jinx is going to take a training flight at midnight and drop it into the swamp."

"Oh," I sighed, my breaths getting slower and deeper. "Okay. That's good."

And then I died.

 

 

I woke up in the resurrection tank, smiling. I felt so relaxed and at peace. Tranquilizers had definitely been the right choice.

Doctor Murphy started walking over towards me. She was wearing her hair up today, and I enjoyed the sight of her slender, warm neck.

"Don't worry trooper, you've just been kill-" she began, then stopped mid-sentence and looked at me more closely. "Why, I don't believe I've ever seen someone so relaxed about their own death as you!"

I laughed. "Que sera sera, Doc. Dust to dust, you know."

She consulted her clipboard. "Is that your key phrase trooper? And what's your name?"

"My name is Captain Flores," I smiled. "And my key phrase is, 'Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee'."

She paused, looking at her clipboard. If my brain hadn't been coming off a lethal dose of tranquilizers, I'm sure my pulse would have gone through the roof. Even so, I heard the quiet beep-beep of my heart rate monitor start picking up behind me.

Finally she said, "Okay, that matches what I see here. I confirm you are Captain Stacy Flores."

"Stacy?" I laughed.

Murphy frowned at me. "What's wrong?"

I stifled the next laugh. "Nothing Doc...tor. It's just nice to hear a woman say my name. Stacy Flores."

She pulled out her barcoder with that smirk I loved. "Well, I know how it is, trooper. I've been on military bases my whole life. I know how soldiers feel about women." She burned one of my wrists, then the other, with Flores's name and rank, then pressed the coder against my heart. "Now this may hurt a little bit," she said, then pulled the trigger.

I smiled. She was still warning guys, because I had asked her to, way back when.

I whistled as I dried and dressed, and on my way out, I passed behind Doc Murphy and gave her ass a quick, firm pinch.

"Captain Flores!" she yelled, turning to slap me a second too late.

"Call me Stacy," I laughed, sneaking out the door.

 

 

I felt a great elation as I walked down the halls. Soldiers nodded at me or just ignored me, and each time I fooled another one my sense of freedom grew. I could do anything now,
anything
, and no one would ever be able to pin it on me, even if I was caught red-handed!

Unless they spotted Flores, still alive and walking around. And then did a head count, and found my body in the barracks. Even failing to report for the head-count would be a smoking gun, if everyone else showed up. I shelved my thoughts of committing The Crime of the Century and hurried to meet Ann-Marie near TacOps.

 

 

She confirmed Flores was on duty and due to leave soon, and she was ready to draw him out if needed. We waited, her leaning on her crutches and me leaning against the wall, safe in plain sight because no one could tell that I was-

"Lieutenant Forrest!" an angry voice bellowed down the hall. My knees started shaking as I turned to see Lieutenant Hector and Samson storming towards me in their purple uniforms. How the hell? "I wanted to talk to both of you!" he finished, sneering at Ann-Marie.

Of course. As a clone standing next to the only 5 foot tall woman on crutches on the entire planet, of course Hector could guess who I was. I made sure my sleeves covered my wrist tattoos and buttoned my unmarked fatigues over my chest.

"Spiders sleeping in trees my ASS!" Hector yelled, stopping in front of me. He stood nose-to-nose with me, fists balled. "I should kick your teeth in right now! Hughes ran us into the ground today because of you!"

"We're going into those valley caves next time," Hector's Intelligence Officer growled, pointing his finger in my face too. "I don't care what you say!"

My back was against the wall. We were running out of time. And I didn't even HAVE a lie that would get me out of this situation.

"Fine," I said.

Hector looked confused. "What?"

"Go ahead. See what's in those caves. Now get lost. I have some caves to explore myself."

And, god help me, I jerked a thumb at Ann-Marie.

Now Hector looked shocked, as did the tiger tattooed on half of his face. I had seen how they all checked her out when we used to PT in Boot, especially those days the sweat stuck her shirt to her chest. But did Hector assume I was somehow above all that? "Yeah," I added. "And it's not a group activity. So get lost."

His face and tiger crinkled in disbelief, then smugness. "Fine. Enjoy the incest." He stepped back, then muttered to Samson as he walked down the hall. "Fucking inside his own squad. Loser."

We watched them recede, then disappear around a corner. I turned to Butcher immediately.

"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry!"

She was blushing, but managed a shrug. "Why? They all assume we do it anyway."

"What? Why?"

She was looking away, not meeting my eyes. "Why else would you keep me around? That's what they say, anyway."

"Because you're the fucking best Intelligence Officer in the Army. That's why."

She looked up at that, blushing even more. "Thanks." Then she smiled, rare enough before, but a practically extinct species since her burn. "And sir, if I was your CO in a 95% female army, I'd totally use your sweet ass as a cover for our ops."

"Thanks. I guess."

"I might even send you to seduce other squad commanders and see what secrets they spill over pillow talk-"

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