Infinite Sacrifice (12 page)

How could this happen? What can I
say?

He exhales purposely and tenses his
jaw as he states, “I know you care about me too.”

I pull away from him, but he steps
toward me. “Why else would you take all this special interest in
me? All of the other helots see how different you treat me. How you
have never made me lift a finger on this farm.”

He takes another step closer, and I
can feel his breath on my neck.

He whispers, “I can see that you
love me when you look in my eyes.”

How can this be
happening!

He tries to catch my eyes, but I
avert them now. I can’t think of anything to say that will make
this all go away. He reaches down to hug me like he has so many
times before, but now it feels under a different intent. I push him
away and run out to my cliffs, hoping he won’t follow me, hoping
I’ll think of something that will make this all
disappear.

That night I come back home after
he’s asleep, and Ophira’s waiting up for me.

She asks, “What
happened?”

I explain what occurred, and she
holds her hand to her mouth the whole time in horror at the
predicament. Something horribly twisted, yet she understands
completely.

She says, “We need to send him away
at once to start his own life.”

We both nod and cry.

Chapter 6

The next day, I call for a boy to
bring me Proauga. Even though she’s my oldest horse, she’s still
hardy and fast enough. I ride her like I did so many times when I
was young, over my cliffs and down to Nereus’s by the
harbor.

He hears me gallop up and is
leaning in his doorway. “Oh, to what do I owe this
honor?”

I hop off and tie her reins to a
small tree by the house. “I need to look at your
helots.”

He smiles immediately. “I’ve heard
of the order.” He purses up his lips as though he’s up to
something. “You’re more than welcome to my helots, although I don’t
think any of them are as fine as Theodon there.”

I cringe.

“He’s not so young. That should not
sway you. He can do the job at seventeen.” He looks up to the sky.
“Oh, to be seventeen again.”

“No, Theodon is entirely out of the
question. I’m practically his mother,” I say, wishing I can take
practically out so he will stop this conversation.

“I see, all right, fine, then. My
helots are your helots.”

With a smile, he sweeps his hand
across the field to show me all of them working below.

“Is there one or two that stand
out?” Squinting, I try to discern them from our
distance.

He looks down. “Well, if I was,
say, interested in men”—he looks back up, straight in my
eyes—“which I’m most certainly not, I would have to say there is
one fine helot who’s going to be joining up next month with the
Citizens’ Army. Very Spartan-like.”

“Which one is he?” I say with my
hand over my eyes to block the glare.

Nereus points to a tall man with
broad shoulders as he heaves a bale of hay onto a cart. He is
nice-looking and does have a pleasing shape.

“How’s his temperament?”

“A good worker and never causes any
trouble.”

“Do you mind sending him up to the
farm tonight, so I can talk to him and see if he would
agree?”

Nereus smiles wickedly, and I know
this is too much fun for him. “I’ll do what I can.”

Part of me is nervous he’ll wreck
the whole thing, but it’s my only option. I get back on Proauga and
ride back home. I pass right by Theodon on his horse, and I stop,
hoping he’ll talk to me, but he keeps riding with his gaze fixed in
front of him.

I tell Ophira all about the helot,
and she laughs. “Maybe I can do my part for Sparta too!”

She does a provocative little dance
right as the helot rides his horse up. I make a face at her, and
she almost drops the chicken she just cooked. Shooing her back into
the kitchen, I go out to meet him. I thought he was tall in the
fields, but now I see he’s towering.

“What’s your name?” I
ask.

“Demetrius,” he says with a nervous
little bow of his head as he removes his dog-skin cap, releasing
waves of dark brown hair.

This is a mistake. How is somebody
supposed to make something like this happen? I decide to give up on
the idea and simply get through dinner.

“My name is Alcina.”

I gesture for him to come inside
and notice he has to duck under the low doorways. Once he is seated
at the table, I offer him a bowl of olives to start, and he removes
a few with his well-washed hands. After I pour him some wine, he
starts feeling more comfortable and looks up, exposing his
beautiful, grey-blue eyes.

Ophira tries to make conversation
lighthearted after she’s set down the chicken, goat cheese, and
vegetables and asks, “Does Nereus bless you with all his stories of
sailing the high seas?”

He relaxes at this. “He follows all
of us around, and it has gotten so that we came up with a rooster
call”—he demonstrates with gumption—“and we all run and hide.” We
all laugh, and he keeps going, “And whenever we see he has someone
trapped, another will pretend to need the captive’s help to release
him, though it backfires since Nereus usually volunteers too.” As
if suddenly remembering I’m not a helot, he swiftly says, “But he
treats us very well.”

Ophira switches the subject as she
gets up to serve us both. “Do you live with family?”

I tense at the question. If he
speaks of a wife and children, I’ll have to say goodnight to him
there.

He shakes his head. “I stay with
friends.” He looks up from his plate. “I’ve nothing to worry about
when I leave for the army.”

“Why are you going to take your
chances on Sparta’s frontline?” I ask.

He connects with my eyes. “There is
nothing better to die for than the freedom of your future
children.”

With this answer, Ophira gives me a
subtle nod of approval, and I say, “That is a good
reason.”

Ophira and I both think of
Theodon.

Just then, Theodon walks in and
looks Demetrius up and down across the table. Demetrius seems
confused, as if he’s wondering if I’m testing a couple of helots
out for the job.

“Demetrius this is Theodon. Theodon
this is—” I try.

“A helot. I get it.”

Ophira gives him a full plate. He
looks down and starts shoving the food in his mouth as fast as he
can so he can leave the table.

“Theodon is Ophira’s son,” I say as
I place a bowl of grilled chestnuts and pomegranates before
Demetrius.

Demetrius looks relieved and takes
a piece of pomegranate to his mouth. He asks Theodon, “Are you
joining up also?”

Theodon glances up with a dead
stare at Demetrius. “For the Citizens’ Army or for her?”

After an uncomfortable pause, a
confused Demetrius clarifies, “The army.”

Theodon glares at me. “I probably
will.”

“Do you live in Laconia?” Demetrius
asks, his lips turning crimson from the rubied seeds.

Theodon shoots back quickly, “Do
you work for Nereus?”

Demetrius nods, probably wondering
why he’s asking, and Theodon drops his fork, grabs a handful of
chestnuts right in front of Demetrius, and leaves the
table.

Silence clouds the room.

“I should go now.” Demetrius stands
with his hat in hands. “Alcina, can I talk with you
outside?”

We walk outside. The stars are out
in glorious numbers. I hold my arms, unprepared for the early fall
chill.

He stands in front of me. “Nereus
told me about what you need, and I’d be glad to help.”

I’m surprised he’s so forward. He
seemed so quiet at the table.

“I need to think about it a little
more, but thank you for offering your… service.”

He nods, replaces his hat, and
mounts Zale—handling her much better than Nereus could. He gallops
away, and I wonder if I’ll actually see him again.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The next morning, I wake to Ophira
screaming for me. I run outside to see Theodon throwing all sorts
of things into our cart with his horse attached. He glares at me
and continues to stack things.

“He’s leaving! He’s leaving for
Laconia!” Ophira cries hysterically. She looks at me like I can do
something, then turns to yell at Theodon, “You can’t go out there
by yourself. The fall is when they have krypteia! Spartan soldiers
kill helots without repercussion! They always attack the strongest
helots!”

“Well, Demetrius seems to be much
more preferred by Spartans, so I’m safely inferior,” Theodon
directs at me.

“Alcina! Tell him he can’t take
your things! Tell him he can’t take your cart!” Ophira desperately
pleads.

Theodon pauses, testing me if I’ll
assert this power for the first time in his life.

“I won’t tell him not to take the
cart, Ophira.” She covers her face in her hands as I continue, “But
Theodon, don’t you think it would be better to go after the fall
when the ceremony is over?”

“Stop telling me what to do! I’m a
grown man. I’m not your lapdog. I can take care of myself, and I’ll
be fine. I will be more than fine!”

I hold Ophira back and say, “If
it’s your wish to go, then please take everything you need from the
stock house.” Ophira continues to cry. “Make sure you bring the
hunting knife and spears to protect yourself.”

“As if you care.”

He walks over to Ophira and takes
away the hands covering her face.

He wipes her tears with his sleeve
and whispers, “Do not worry. I have everything I’ll need. I will be
fine. I love you.”

Ophira reaches to pull off her
medallion, but Theodon shakes his head. “I don’t need it anymore,
you keep it.”

He kisses her forehead, and she
finds her hands again to fill with tears. We lock eyes, and neither
of us speaks. The words I have for so long kept from him are
dancing on my tongue. He leans forward to kiss my cheek but changes
direction at the last moment to leave a quick kiss on my lips. He
turns and steps up on the cart and tells the horse to
go.

As he rolls out, he shouts back, “I
will be back after I’m settled.”

Ophira crumples to her
knees.

Chapter 7

A few days later, due to the
sadness and emptiness in the house, I realize I must have another
child. If Leander had been home years ago, I could’ve had another
son by now, one who would’ve filled my time and made me proud. I
send word through a helot to Demetrius to meet me at the top of the
cliff that night. I ride Proauga out and watch the sun go down.
Darkness falls all around me; I lie down on a wide, woolen blanket
and wait.

I hear gravel footsteps, and I
realize he must not have ridden. By the time I stand, he’s right
behind me. I freeze, and without a word, he begins to touch my
hair. I’m relieved I won’t have to suffer through the beginning
awkwardness. He starts touching the back of my neck with his hand,
brushes aside my hair, and kisses my neck. He continues to explore
carefully, then lays me down on the blanket. I’m in heaven under
the stars.