Inferno (5 page)

“All M’s?”

“Yep, well, except for Mac, whose real name is Charles, but obviously goes by his nickname, and me.  But Mac calls me Mouse because he says I’m the only one of his girls that can stay quiet for any length of time.”

“Where’s your real family?” he questioned carefully. 

“Oh, well… my parent’s and my brother…” before I had a chance to go any further, our waitress popped back over to our table.  She had positioned herself so that she was fully facing Ethan with her back towards me.

Leaning in provocatively, she ran her finger up Ethan’s arm.  “Is there anything else I can do to you…I mean get for you?” She said.

“No we’re good.  Just the check please,” I answered. 

She looked over her shoulder at me, letting me know that she did not consider me any competition for Ethan’s attention.  She turned back around, and with those pouty duck lips girls think are sexy but just makes me want to throw bread at them, said to Ethan, “Are you sure you and your sister wouldn’t like some dessert?”

Oh, hell no!  Tell me she did not just throw down the sister card.  It’s on now bitch.

I snapped my fingers to get her attention and then said, just loud enough for
everyone
to hear; “now I remember where I’ve seen you!  You stopped in the VD clinic last week.  I was the volunteer at the checkout counter.  How’s the cream working for that rash?  Did it stop the itching?”  

Little Ms. Thing’s face paled before it turned the brightest shade of red I have ever seen.  Mortification colored her appearance as she hurried through the door that led to the back. 

“Was that really necessary?” Ethan asked while throwing some bills down on the table. 

“What?  I was just trying to be friendly, I must have mistaken her for someone else,” I said innocently.

********************

Group Message

Lex – FYI, staying at Ethan’s tonight

Bella – Tate’s coming here tonight

Makayla – I’m still at Sebastian’s, not planning to leave

Jack – that’s it.  I’m hitting Hullahan’s and getting my gay pride on!  I refuse to be the only one sleeping alone tonight!

********************

We wordlessly rode back to Ethan’s.  This time I paid more attention to where we were.  He lives in one of the new high rises.  You know the kind.  All shiny marble and granite with wood floors probably made out of teak.  I don’t really know if the floors are made of teak, but teak sounds like and expensive name for a wood so that’s what I’m going with.

We rode up the key carded elevator and stepped out directly into his apartment.  My entire bathroom would fit in his foyer with room to spare.  I followed him through to the living area and stopped.  Ethan continued walking, throwing my bag down on the black leather sofa, and disappearing through another doorway.  I looked around the room and realized lightening quick how far out of my league Ethan Storm truly was.  Ethan reappeared just as I grabbed my bag.

“Ethan, thank you for lunch and for last night… and for being supportive today when I heard that message.  I admit, it did freak me out a little, but I’m ok now.  I’m just going to grab a cab.  I don’t want to invade your personal space.  That’s not what you signed up for.”

“What is it you think I signed up for?” Ethan said as he stalked toward me. 

“Well, I’m sure you were expecting someone to have a little fun with and then go your separate ways.”

“Is that so?” Ethan replied, backing me up until I hit the wall.  He grabbed my bag and threw it behind him without looking where it fell.  Ethan then placed both palms flat on the wall on either side of me, effectively caging me in.

“Ethan, I really think I should go.”

“I disagree, and I don’t think the woman who verbally bitch slapped our waitress would agree either.”

“Ethan…”

“I finally got you here, and I’m not letting you go.”  One of Ethan’s hands dropped to my waist and under the hem of my shirt.  He leaned in and placed soft kisses at the corners of my mouth while his thumb stroked the sensitive skin on my side.  I couldn’t help it, I melted into him.  Ethan deepened the kiss and tugged on my skirt until it pooled at my feet.  His lips detached from mine just long enough to divest me of my Henley.  After another minute or so, Ethan took a step back and lasciviously perused my body.  Just when I couldn’t take the scrutiny any longer, Ethan, eyes on fire, met my gaze.

“Baby, I didn’t get a good look at you last night.  If I had, we never would have left my bed today.”

Before I could utter a response, Ethan swung me up into his arms, carrying me to the bedroom, and wasting no time in showing me exactly how he would have rather spent the day.

It has been dark for a few hours, and I’m snuggling up to Ethan with my head on his chest, completely sated.  He is stroking my back, causing me to become sleepier.  I am just about to nod off when I hear Ethan murmur, “baby, I hope you’re on the pill because we didn’t use protection.”

Chapter Seven

Group Message

Jack – Today sucks.  I feel a hate list coming on 

Bella – Today I hate…

1. Husbands and wives who wear matching outfits – do I really need to explain
   
2. Everything sticky.  It takes days to fully wash sticky crap away
   
3. People who wear camo in public.  Hello, we can still see you
   
4. My new phone auto correcting all of my damn cuss words. I worked hard to get my old phone to agree with me
   
5. All dept store products with the word magic in the name.  None of them are ever magic
   
6. Drama queens.  I’m so sorry that your world is going to end because you aren’t the center of my universe
   
7. Pickled herring.  Never had it, but I think the name says it all
   
8. The minefield of dog poop in my neighbor’s yard.  Clean that shit up, literally
   
9. People who quote movies in every conversation
   
10. And as always…Angelina Jolie
    

Lex – Today I hate…

1. Creepy ass stalkers
   
2. People who are overly happy in the morning.  Why yes, I would love to give you a high five…. with a chair
   
3. Me acting like a love sick puppy because Ethan is out of town
   
4. Junk emails for penis enlargements.  Do you really think that’s the best way to advertise?
   
5. Paying bills.  There are much more worthy causes for my money to go, like drinking
   
6. People who say they exercise because it’s fun (Yes, that includes you Bella)
   
7. Washing my car only to have it rain.  God has a cruel sense of humor
   
8. Professional people with body odor.  I know you can afford deodorant and for goodness sake, take a damn shower!  Hell, just rub one of those 99 cent pine fresheners all over you.  I’ll even buy it for your stinky, cheap ass
   
9. Stupid people.  Natural selection needs to work faster
   
10. And as always…any Kardashian
    

Jack – Today I hate…

1. Guys who wear ties on a casual workday.  Yes, you look professional, like a professional tool
   
2. My assistant chewing gum.  She sounds like a beaver gnawing on a tree
   
3. Beetle cars with eyelashes.  I mean WTF, even I’m not that gay
   
4. Sad movies.  If I wanted to cry, I’ll just think of my childhood
   
5. That men aren’t as awesome in life as they are in books.  Guess that’s why it’s called fiction
   
6. “Environmentalist” who drive Hummers but bitch at me for not recycling a bottle
   
7. Hiring people.  I would rather just hire and fire them at the same time and save myself the aggravation
   
8. People who think they are better than everyone else.  Hello, have you met me and my friends
   
9. Spiders.  Anything with that many legs and eyes is just wrong
   
10. And as always…my back stabbing, money hungry, whore of a step mother
    

Makayla – Today I hate my boss because…

1. He’s a lazy asshole who gets credit for me running the dept
   
2. He’s gross. He’s 68, 300lbs, and has a mustache that could rival any 1970’s porn video.  No one wants to runaway with you.  Stop asking
   
3. He doesn’t know how to use a PC.  Seriously, I had to spend an entire afternoon teaching him how to use FaceBook
   
4. No, there is no one who wants to have your love child.  Stop asking that too
   
5. He forwards emails for me to print just so I can hand them to him
   
6. When he does print something, he prints it to my office and it’s always something stupid like chain emails of animals doing cute things.  WTF  And yes, I still have to hand them to him
   
7. He tries to ‘play’ boss over stupid stuff like the font used on address labels
   
8. He has an unhealthy infatuation with Taylor Swift and describes his fantasies in detail
   
9. The fact that his bosses know and won’t do anything about it.
   
10. That he won’t retire or die.  At this point, I don’t care which.
    

Jack – very nice ladies! 

*******************

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to poke the stupid-ass people around you in the eye with a plastic spoon?  Then you hope the spoon breaks off during the stabbing to maximize the damage?  Yeah, that’s how I’m feeling.  Works been dragging today and I am staring at the clock waiting for it to hit five.  I still have fifteen minutes but that hasn’t stopped me from clearing off and locking up my desk.  I step out of my cubicle and bump into Jerry, one of Kathleen’s clerks.  He hands me a folder without saying a word and continues down the line handing out assignments.  I toss my file in my inbox, grab my coat, and head out the door.

I walk into
Rascal’s
and see Jack and Bella, sitting at a high top table, already enjoying their first beer. 
Rascal’s
is a favorite haunt of ours.  The place is old and worn out.  One of those places that only locals know about.  Autographed pictures of celebrities and athletes hang on the walls throughout the restaurant side.  At least that’s what I’ve been told.  We have never actually ventured over to that side; too many families with small children we could unintentionally corrupt.  No, we prefer the bar side with its neon beer and old metal signs adorning the walls. 

I walk up to the empty bar and order a beer.  Brandon gives me a chin nod in acknowledgement, but I won’t hold my breath.  Brandon has been the bartender here since we’ve started hanging out at this gin joint four years ago.  He’s about my height, short, brown hair and has an eyebrow ring.  He is cute, in a metro sexual way that totally clashes with his sleeve tattoo, and the absolute worst bartender I have ever encountered.  He pays more attention to his own reflection in the bar back mirror than to the customers.  We put up with his lousy service mostly because he puts up with us being loud and obnoxious.   

Just as I sit down, the bar door slams open and bounces off the wall.  If we were in a movie, Makayla would be back lit by fog and some eerie looking green lighting while a fierce wind would be whipping her hair around, but since this is real life, all she gets is a little wall tremor from the slamming door and the menacing look she’s sporting.

“Yo, Brandon, bring me a beer,” she growls as she makes her way to our table.

“Bad day dear?” Jack asks sincerely.

“My fucking boss.  You remember how last week the corporate jackasses came in for a visit and told me to keep an eye on Harvey.  Well today, I stopped in accounting to make sure that he sent the invoices down to Anita.  He didn’t.  So, I stop back at his office and ask him if he needs me to take care of them.  You wanna know what the dick said?”

“What?” Bella asked.

“He asked me what five hundred dollars would get him.  When I just stood there, he said ‘aw come on, it’s gotta get me something.’  Then the jackass pulled out some one hundred dollar bills and waved them at me saying, ‘we don’t have to go all the way.  We can compromise.’”

“Oh my, that’s not right.  You should report him,” I encouraged.

“To who?  The corporate monkeys know what’s going on.  They are just biding their time until he leaves.  If I make a stink, they’ll say something to him, but I’ll be the one stuck dealing with the backlash.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t throat chopped him yet.  That shows a lot of restraint on your part,” Jack said earnestly.

“BRANDON!  WHERE THE HELL IS MY BEER?”

Brandon pulled himself away from chatting up the jailbait that just arrived to scowl at Makayla.  He grabbed two beers and set them on the bar for us to retrieve.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.  What’s going on with you guys?”

“Well,” Bella began with a huge grin, “I got a temporary contract with that boutique in L.A.  I’m just sending a few pieces to start.  They want to see if my styles can fill the current void with the celebrities and rich trophy wives.  If it goes well, they will add me as one if their designers.  It’s very exclusive and upscale, and they only sell one of-a-kind creations, so I should get top dollar.” 

I gave Bella a hug and exclaimed, “that’s fantastic! I’m so proud of you!” 

Jack held up his beer for a toast.  “To having a famous designer in our midst, and to her never charging us full price!” 

Jack’s phone buzzed and Bella tried to peek at who was texting.  “Give it up Jackie.  Someone has been blowing up your phone since we got here.  Spill.”

“Oh all right,” he said exasperated.  “It’s Joe.  He’s flying in tonight and wants to know if I want to hang out.”

“You mean he’s calling for a booty call?” I asked.

“Yes, he’s calling for a booty call.  He’s only in town for one night, and he isn’t sharing a room with anyone this time.”

“Which one is Joe?” Makayla asked.

“Flight attendant, little shorter than me, wears glasses.  We met him a couple of months ago. ”

“Oh yeah, I remember him.  I think.”

“I’m not sure I want to go.  It was supposed to be a one night stand.”

“So it’s moved from a one night stand to a friend with benefits deal.  Just minus the friend part.  You should go.”  I told Jack.

“If you don’t go, I’m giving you Lexie’s vag card,” Makayla stated.

I smacked Makayla on the arm, “that was totally uncalled for!  My vag has been getting one hell of a workout!”

“What if he’s a serial killer?  Flying into town, killing people, and then flying out before the bodies cool,” Jack asked.

Bella gave him a scathing look, “listen, if you come up missing, we will work with a sketch artist to help identify him.”

“I can barely remember what he looks like; I know none of your drunk asses remember.”

“Why didn’t anyone think to get a picture of him?” I asked.

“Don’t look at me.  I was in no condition to operate something as complicated as a camera phone that night,” Bella declared.

“Ok, scratch the sketch artist, we’ll plaster your photo on beer bottles all over the country,” I stated.

“Shouldn’t that be milk cartons?” Jack asked.

“Not if you want the fun people to find you,” I answered with a grin.

“Consider him your reward for making it to work on time once this month!” Makayla laughed.

“Hey!  I’ve been on time this whole week bitch.”  Jack paused for dramatic effect.  “Fine, you’ve convinced me.  I’ll meet him.”

“Glad we didn’t have to twist your arm too hard,” Bella murmured.  “So Lex, what’s new with you?”

“Well, there is something I need to tell you guys,” I began.

“You’re pregnant!” Bella squealed.

“No, I am not pregnant.”

“OK, what’s your news,” she said laughing.

“I may have a stalker,” I said and proceeded to fill them in on the message that was left for me.

“Shut the fuck up,” Makayla stammered.

“And you have no idea who it could be?” Jack asked.

“No.  I mean I think the voice was altered.  It sounded familiar but not.  It’s hard to explain.”

“Did Ethan hear the message?” Bella asked.

“Yeah, he called the police to report it and then went all cave man on me.  That’s why I stayed at his place the other night.  It’s probably nothing, just some lunatic.  Now that I’m with Ethan, I am sure he’ll disappear. ”

“Don’t worry Lex.  We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Bella said.

“Oh yeah, and exactly how are we planning to do that?” Makayla asked.

“I don’t know, but we’ll think of something.”

“Ok, Nancy Drew, whatever you say,” Makayla answered sarcastically.