Indulge (4 page)

“Please don’t ever use the word panties around me again. Deal?” Arrick might have been incredibly hot, but hearing a masculine man say that word, was just too awkward.

“Why not? I bought them didn’t I?” He laughed aloud as he dodged a heavy-set man, who was walking briskly toward a dried meat carving vendor, a look of hungered determination set firmly on his hairy face.

“I’ll gladly give them back if you promise to shut up?” I shot him a wicked smile - and then bit my lip. Were we flirting again?

Arrick must have felt it too and he chivalrously changed the subject, the smile gone from his face as well. “Like I said before, you still haven’t seen the best part yet.”

“Oh yeah?”

We broke through the seemingly endless crowd and now found ourselves in a residential area. In the entryway of one of the houses sat a stray cat, washing itself, and I thought of Louie. I couldn’t let the thought of him make me sad. I knew Robin would take care of him and after this whole mess with Ana was settled, I would get to see him again.

“The Château.”

“Sounds fancy. Is that where we are headed?”

Arrick simply nodded as we made our upward climb through the streets, toward the Château that lay somewhere beyond.

I knew I should be more excited about finally being home, but it was hard having never known this home before. Not to mention that the last place I called home, I was almost murdered in. But Ana didn’t win, and I still had the fire alight inside me that was determined to make her pay for what she did. That much I was sure of.

After the slow thirty minute hike through the city, the last buildings petered out, fading into open cliff-side. Towering on the edge stood a building on the rocky shore. The Château sat regally amongst its surroundings, as beautiful or more so, than the city itself. It almost seemed like the world had grown and blossomed around it. The warm glow flooded through the dozens of windows, cascading softly on the city below. In some way, the Château seemed more like a watchful guardian than just a building. The thought made me smile.

I inspected it meticulously in the moonlight and saw another building. It was lined with glass, but unlit, jutting out like a sword among the stones. Why have a lighthouse if you weren’t going to use it? The thought just me that more curious. Sure, with today’s technology, lighthouses had very little use, but something about it was mysteriously interesting.

I didn’t bother asking Arrick, because I was sure I would soon find out for myself and I longed to have time alone. Walking around my new home, alone with my thoughts, sounded much like a vacation to me. My excitement compounded, putting a spring in my step.

A tall arched hedge welcomed us into the gardens, just beyond the entrance to the Château. This place was quickly gaining my favor even though I was trying to fight it. The gardens at Nicolae’s palace were my retreat and made me feel at peace. I knew instantly that these would too.

The hedges were all neatly trimmed to line pathways or seemingly float over flowerbeds in unusual shapes. Soft white lights aimed toward each plant, captured unique angles in its shadows. There was no straight path that led to the Château and I delighted in the idea that I could get lost in the maze of hedges. In fact, maybe some night I might do just that.

“I knew you’d like it.” After so long in silence, Arrick’s voice almost startled me. I had been lost in my thoughts and almost forgot he was even there.

“I love it.”

I ran my fingers across the leaves, allowing the sense of nature to relax me. This night was just about to begin and I needed to be calm and collected. I was meeting my real parents tonight. There was no excitement, no nerves; was this what real peace was like? After tonight I might finally be whole and fill the missing void that has lingered inside me for eighteen years.

Tall iron doors glowed from the entrance of the Château, the frosted glass allowing the interior lights to flow through. I didn’t allow myself to hesitate as I watched Arrick grasp the cold metal and pull the doors open toward me. I stepped in first, the orange radiance of candle light hugging my skin as it covered me. I walked confidently further into the entry. Candelabras stood along the walls of the foyer, their hot wax dripping to already cooled mounds on the stone floor.

“Welcome home,” Arrick whispered into my ear as he grabbed the bag from off my back.

It didn’t feel like home. I felt like we had snuck into someone’s house and any moment they would come screaming out that intruders had entered, but there was only silence.

“Where is everyone? I thought you said they knew we were coming.” I folded my arms and planted my weight firmly atop the Persian rug near the entrance.

“They are probably waiting in the throne room. They are usually always in there first thing in the evening to get all the day’s reports.”

It made sense, but I was a little disappointed and pissed that I wasn’t getting the homecoming I was secretly hoping for. Kidnapped as a baby, their daughter was finally returning home after all these years, and they weren’t waiting at the front door on pins and needles? Was that really too much to expect? Apparently so.

“Well, let’s go to the throne room then,” I huffed. I knew I was more disappointed than I was angry.

Either ignoring or completely oblivious of my mood, Arrick made a quick left and headed through a dimly lit sitting room. I took a moment to collect myself and glanced around the entry once more before following in his footsteps.

I had not taken but three steps before I sensed someone nearby and a fragmented moment of shock that had coursed through Arrick. My vampire instincts kicked in instantly and I flew to Arrick’s side. It felt exhilarating to release the caged beast inside me.

In a fraction of a second, I was in front of Arrick. I bared my fangs and hissed at the figure like an angry cat, my stance ready to pounce at any sudden movement. I wasn’t sure what had come over me.

The figure gasped and stumbled backward, falling hard onto the floor. They tried to crawl away in fear, and a victorious surge went through me, when a firm grip clasped tightly around my neck.

“That’s enough!” Arrick’s voice was deep and commanding.

I squirmed in his grip for a moment, his fingers growing more secure until the rage finally dissipated. He focused on my face, feeling the slowing of my breath through his fingertips and then deep into my eyes.

“Let go,” I gasped angrily.

He held me in the air, like a rag doll, for a few seconds longer before lowering me to the floor. My hands flew to my throat, rubbing away the sensation of his death grip on me.

“I was only trying to protect you!” I spat angrily at him. The urge to shove him across the room was tickling the back of my mind.

“I don’t need protecting, Claire! Especially not from her.” He pointed to the cowering figure on the floor. Arrick walked over to her, cooing softly at her. “I won’t let her hurt you.” He offered a hand and she took it, her legs wobbling.

I stepped forward to get a better look at the figure, but Arrick brought his hand up and looked at me sternly, shaking his head. He looked back at the girl and pulled her hood from her head. My mouth fell open in shock and guilt swiftly cut into my gut. She was just a young, human girl. Allowing myself to focus and clear my jumbled thoughts, I could hear her heart beating rapidly. She was afraid. Of me.

“I’m sorry.” I took another step toward her, but Arrick’s hand flew up again to stop me and I obeyed. I had never felt so ashamed in all my life. How did I let myself get so out of control?

I watched Arrick whisper to the girl and she quickly skittered out of the room, sure to give me a wide berth. Then he gave me a heavy, disappointed look. I couldn’t blame him; I felt like a monster.

“You need to be more careful, Claire. There is a lot of anger in you, and you need to learn to control it.” His tone was filled with concern, but my body still tensed as he approached me.

“I don’t know what happened. I felt your shock and then something just snapped.” I threw my hands up in the air and stared at him. I searched his eyes, hoping he believed me. Knowing that I let him down made me realize how much I needed him.

He nodded. “You are still angry about what happened with Ana. Sometimes it can take weeks before the rage will completely die down.” He put his arm around me, causing me to instinctively bring my hands back to my throat. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I couldn’t let you harm that girl. You could have easily killed her.”

“I know.” I took in a deep breath, praying for my nerves to settle.

I let Arrick guide me through the Château, not paying attention to anything around us. My eyes were fixated on the floor as we walked.

“I’m not angry with you, okay?” He tried to reassure me. “You are still a young vampire, and it will take time to learn to control your instincts. Besides, I should have warned you.”

“Warned me about what? That I’m a monster?” I grumbled. He might not be mad at me for what I did, but I wasn’t going to let myself off that easy.

“No. And don’t ever call yourself that, you understand me?” I nodded glumly. “That was Lya,” he went on. “She is a servant here. Many of the humans who work here have taken on the nocturnal schedule of vampires. She just startled me as I walked into the room. I should have been paying closer attention. So, technically, it’s my fault.” Arrick smiled at me and I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing him, pulling his firm body into a solid hug.

He stood still, surprised for only a moment before returning the hug. His large hands held my head to his chest and caressed my hair. As much as I was savoring the moment, I couldn’t help but think I was standing in a strange hallway of a Château that I never knew as my home with parents somewhere nearby I had never met. The only thing in my life at this moment that I felt I could count on was Arrick. I tightened my grip, trying to convey how much I needed him. Right now, he was all I had. I couldn’t even trust myself anymore.

“You’ve been through a lot. What happened with Luka and Ana…”

“Yes I have,” I said, my voice more confident than I felt.

Arrick let me hug him as long as I needed. When I finally released him, Arrick continued to guide us, me perched beneath his arm, until we came to an ivory doorway. It was covered in a design of golden swirls, like vines had taken over and claimed it.

The room we entered was a bedroom, large and expansive. One entire side of the room was lined with a large balcony, open to the cool night. I was grateful for the air. Until that moment I didn’t much feel like being confined by four walls. I felt suffocated by my own body. My very thoughts weighed me down.

I didn’t know what to say to him. We hadn’t spoken about what happened. I didn’t know if I could. But did I even have a choice? I wanted this all to end, and there was only one to do it. Ana had to die.

Arrick eyed my wearily, walking further into the room. “Are you okay? Other than physically, I mean?” My body froze as he approached me, sliding his finger across the faintly visible scar across my jaw.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came. Every emotion in my body was clawing frantically to gain control. I was full of savage hunger to kill Ana, anger at myself for blindly believing Nicolae’s lies, crushing depression from a life that I didn’t feel was my own and now I felt a growing desire to claim Arrick as mine, but my mind wouldn’t let go of my memories of Dmitry.

I stared into his eyes, our faces inches from each other. I could feel myself slowly spinning a ribbon of desire, weaving it around him. Our bodies drawing closer, our senses growing more tuned to each other. All I had to do was reach out and touch him. Just take him and make him mine. I could forget everything, and indulge in a moment of pure ecstasy.

My vampire instincts prickled with excitement. I could see in his eyes that he felt the same. Heat began to build between us and I sighed heavily with anticipation.

Arrick grabbed me fiercely, but it only made our fire stronger. His lips pressed to mine as his fingers tangled in my hair. He lifted me into his arms, while our tongues danced. His lips traveled ardently across my neck and I moaned with pleasure.

Suddenly I was jerked back. He had pulled me off him. I smiled, doe-eyed, my body and senses completely enthralled in the rapture of pleasure, but his expression immediately extinguished it.

“What’s wrong?” He released me, covering his face with his hand.

“This isn’t right, Claire.”

I didn’t understand. I felt his desire, I knew I did. “What’s not right?” I grabbed his arm, but he pulled away.

“This!” He threw his hands up, frustration dripping from his voice. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this.”

“Oh…”

I bit my lip, my fangs nearly piercing the skin. The rejection hit me hard, but just as tears threatened to fall, anger replaced it with intensity. “I get it. Perfect, Arrick. Always follows the rules, doesn’t want to get his hands dirty with a monster of a princess. I’ll save you the trouble and say it for the both of us. Forget this ever happened. Let’s just call it a lapse in judgment, shall we?”

Without waiting for an answer, I stormed away, heading to a door that I hoped led to a bathroom. I had hurt him and though I hated to admit it, I was a little glad I had.

It was a bathroom and I leaned against the door, sighing in relief. Just as amazing as the one I had in the palace. I nearly ripped my clothes off at the idea of taking a nice hot shower. It would be nice to finally be clean and soothe the last aches of my wounds away under the water.

I turned the lock firmly on the bathroom door, not because it would make me feel safer, but because I wanted to be sure Arrick heard it. I didn’t want there to be any doubt that, for the moment, I didn’t want him anywhere near me.

Hot water hammered my naked body as I stood under it woodenly. My anger toward Arrick might have begun to wither, but a sense of ache remained in its wake. Was I really upset because he rejected me or because I felt guilty for kissing him in the first place? I hated to lie, but I never wanted Dmitry to find out. I remembered the look on his face when we found out I was getting a Blood Mate. Hearing I had kissed Arrick would only make matters worse.