Indestructible (Indestructible Trilogy Book 1) (18 page)

Val spends the rest of the morning teaching me more fighting techniques, before caving in and moving onto the use of my fire-calling power. She teaches me how to focus, like in the meditation exercises, and to move the fire from my skin to the blade, though we keep well away from anything flammable. It’s all I can do not to get distracted by the mesmerising patterns of flame as the knife swings and arches through the air.

“Don’t use it unless you’re under attack,” Val says. “But you’re allowed to keep the knife with you at all times now. Even in the dormitory.”

“What, does Murray think we’re likely to be attacked?”

“There are still fiends unaccounted for around the base,” she says. “It’s better to be careful. Just don’t go threatening Garry with it.” She grins.

“Like I would,” I say, grinning back.

But when I return to the dorm to change, everyone falls silent as I enter the room. Whispers follow me around all day, making me wonder how much people know about what happened.

Bored with the stares, I seek out Elle. I have the afternoon free while she has classes, so I hang about outside the classroom, practising swinging the knife into an imaginary fiend. When the novices stand and start to file out of the room, I stop, returning the blade to the handy belt at my waist. I can’t get over how easy it is to move in this uniform, despite its bulky appearance.

“Elle,” I say, catching her arm. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.”

Several of the other novices dodge around me, and I see ducked heads and frowns as they converge together into groups. I’m not imagining it—they
are
avoiding me. Even Poppy doesn’t meet my eyes as she walks past.

Elle’s as chatty as ever, babbling about whatever she learned about in class while we try to find a place to talk alone. Now the walkway at the back is closed off, we’re stuck inside the mountain. We find an alcove in the wall.

“Why’s everyone avoiding me?” I say. “What do they think happened yesterday?”

Elle’s face falls. “I thought you’d ask that. I don’t know how, but a rumour got out about you and Cas.”

Whatever I expected to hear, that wasn’t it. My mouth falls open. “W
hat?”

“Because he healed you, and that made you Transcen—”

She cuts herself off before she can finish, but I know what she was going to say.

“Transcendent,” I say. “So, that’s how it is. They think
Cas
did it.”

Her gaze is fixed on the floor, small hands clenched into fists. “I’m so sorry. Murray didn’t want me to say, but—”

“Stop,” I say. “Let’s backtrack a bit. I thought Transcendents were born that way. Not made.”

Except Murray
said
he didn’t know.

“It’s kind of complicated,” says Elle. “My dad was looking at the research again yesterday and his new theory’s that when Cas healed you, it caused a transfer of energy that gave you the same abilities he has.”

“But I thought he wasn’t Transcendent.”

Elle fidgets. “No, but he has these other powers, and we think the energy combined. Transcendents are only advanced Pyros, not a whole new species.”

“He can heal. Why?”

More fidgeting. “I don’t—you’ll have to ask my dad.”

I feel bad for interrogating her—but not bad enough to stop.

“Okay. I just wondered. So do people think I’m dangerous?”

“No one really understands Transcendence, not even my dad,” says Elle. She’s still fidgeting, which means she’s hiding something. “But you’re not dangerous. They’re being stupid. It’s because Cas—you know. He’s not friendly.”

“Great, so they think we’re BFFs now?”

A smile touches her mouth. “Well, you’re both kinda scary.”

“Seriously?” I shake my head. “I’ll have to put them right on that one. I just freaked out a bit. People keep telling me I can’t hurt anyone, but what if I’m around, you know, normal people again?”

“You’ll be fine. It’s just about control.”

That’s not very reassuring, considering that in all likelihood, the next time I encounter normal people—I can’t think of them as
humans
, distinct from Pyros—will be when I’m protecting them from the fiends. Not exactly a controlled situation.

“Leah, it’s a good thing.” I stiffen as Elle puts her arms around me. “It means you can help us. It means you might be our hope.”

“I can’t—I can’t.” I step back, away from her. The alcove suddenly feels too confining. “I can’t have people depending on me.”

Fighting for humanity is one thing, but the last thing I need is people looking to me to save them. Not when I already let down everyone who mattered to me. Not when people died and I lived.

Don’t these people matter to you?
a voice in my head asks. And I can’t answer. Despite my promise not to become attached to strangers again, this past month has been like living a life I thought I’d lost. Joking with Elle and Tyler, messing around with Poppy in training, talking to Nolan and Val. Even fighting alongside Cas. These experiences are a part of me now, and I can’t cut them away.

But neither can I be their saviour.

“I can’t do it,” I say.

“You can,” says Elle. “Leah, you should just ignore what people like Cas say.”

“It’s not that.” It’s the idea of responsibility for others’ lives. When I first joined Randy’s group, people whispered that there must be some supernatural reason I survived the blast that destroyed my town, and seemed disappointed when I turned out to be ordinary, and my sister died in my arms without me being able to save her.

But what did I expect when I signed up? That I’d somehow be able to make up for everything, just by fighting the fiends? I shake my head, disgusted with myself.

“Elle? Leah?” Nolan, who was walking past, stops to stare at us. “What are you doing in there?”

“Just talking,” I say. I can’t have everyone knowing I doubt myself, not if people really do think I can be some kind of saviour. I’m reminded of the people who insisted there was some purpose to the insanity when the energy blasts and natural disasters started, people who had faith that someone might appear and save us. No one did. And now we’re the only hope humanity has.

I can’t deal with that thought right now.

“Well, you’re coming on the first scouting mission tomorrow, Leah.”

“I am?”

“Murray said. Are you sure you’re okay?”

I just nod, not meeting his eyes.

***

A body lies at my feet. Though it’s burned almost beyond recognition, somehow I recognise… her? She reaches out, and I extend my hand, but as our fingertips touch, hers begin to crumble. Skin and bone become ash which floats away on the wind, like sand slipping through my fingers. A sob rises in my throat, but I don’t know who I’m crying for.

I wake in darkness, sharply alert. When sleep refuses to come back, I go for a walk, fully dressed. Something itches beneath my skin, like I’m about to burst into flame again. Walking the empty corridors helps. I pace close to the railing, looking down at the lava stream below.

I stop. Someone’s down there, perched on a rock. Cas.

Oh, crap.

I back away, but trip on a rock. The clattering sound echoes, and Cas raises his head. “What?”

“Nothing.” I swallow, backing further away—but stop as I realise his outstretched hand is
underneath
the flow of lava pouring over the rocks in a miniature waterfall.

“Doesn’t that hurt?” I ask, staring.

“What do you think?” He gives me that derisive look. “We don’t burn. You can put your head under if you like.”

“You’re mad.”

He moves towards the waterfall, ducks his head—and immerses it, like in water.

A gasp escapes me. “Cas!” Before I can think about what I’m doing, I vault over the railing and drop to the lava pool below. My feet catch on the edge of a rock, the shoes on my feet sizzling.

“I’m fine,” he says, pulling his head out of the lava. “See?”

His face gleams with liquid rock, and he wipes the lava away with a hand. It looks so ridiculous, I have to laugh.

“You like to stick your head in lava for
fun?”
I ask.

He just shrugs. I study his face. It’s difficult to see from here, but it’s one of the rare times he isn’t wearing a frown or a flat-eyed stare. An improvement.

Except… damn. I have to find out if what Elle said was true. If Cas’s the reason I’m supposedly Transcendent, why does he hate me so much? Does he really regret saving my life… or what?

I fidget, shifting closer to the lava stream. Cas has something in his other hand. His knife.

“What’re you doing with that?” I ask, indicating the gleaming sword.

Cas glares. Great. Now things are back to normal.

“Come on. You can’t expect me not to be curious.”

“No, I expect you to keep your nose out of my business.”

I cross my arms. “I’m a little tired of you people keeping secrets from me. Did they say the same to you when you joined up?”

Too late, I remember he didn’t join. He was born into it. So are his parents dead?

“I don’t see why I should waste my time answering your questions. You keep playing with fire, you’ll get burned.”

“Says the guy who stuck his head in lava.” Now I’m pissed off enough to stick around and poke him until he gives me answers. He’s enough of an asshole I don’t feel bad about it. “Seriously. If I’m supposedly so dangerous, why the hell would Murray even let me stay? I doubt he likes me enough to risk killing all of you.”

“He’s an idealistic moron,” says Cas. “He’s letting you stay for the precise reason he’s let
me
stay here so long. Any hint that you might be a danger to everyone and he’ll have you locked in one of those cages.”

I stare at him. He’s breathing heavily, one hand resting on the blade.

“So that’s it,” I say. “You and I aren’t the same as the others. Elle told me,” I add as he gives me a sharp look. “There’s no point in hiding it. What the hell did you do to me?”

“Saved your worthless life.” Cas spits the words out. “Nolan pushed me into it, the idiot. He has no clue.”

“Then tell me,” I say.

“You want to know that you’re cursed.”

I blink, not following his words.

“Does that mean ‘Transcendent’?” I ask. “I thought you weren’t—”

“I’m not,” he says, bluntly. “There are other so-called gifts besides yours, you know.”

“Like what?”

He narrows his eyes and doesn’t answer.

“If anyone gets killed because of me, I’m blaming you,” I snarl, having had enough. “I can’t read minds, Cas. I don’t give a crap about your reasons.”

“This is war,” he says.

“I’m aware of that,” I say, “but it seems a pretty big disadvantage if one of your warriors kills people on
our
side. You said you’re as dangerous as I am. What did the fiend do to me?”

No answer.

“Tell me,” I say softly. “Tell me what I am. Give me a straight answer.”

“There
is
no straight answer,” he says. “I am not Transcendent, but I’m no Pyro in the ordinary sense.” His mouth twists in a mockery of a smile. “You want to know the truth, Transcendent? The Pyros created me. But their scientists learned the hard way that Transcendents can’t be engineered. Most died. You saw that body in the cave? That was one of them. They were still doing the same experiments when I was a kid, because I didn’t meet their expectations. I didn’t pick up any of the Transcendent abilities except healing. I never intended to transfer my power to you, but Nolan
insisted
I save your life. Apparently, I did more than that. Looks like you’re the missing link.”

The world tilts beneath my feet, the breath catches in my lungs. He’s still speaking, but what he says is impossible.
Impossible.

Engineered Transcendent. Energy transferred.

“You… knew?”

“I suspected,” he says. “We already knew Transcendents can’t be engineered through unnatural means. But blood transfer… apparently that’s the key. It’s not as though I make a habit of using it.”

No. I guess not.
My heart sinks, settling somewhere at the base of my spine. “I can heal,” I say quietly. “I can create… energy blasts. But can’t I die? I’m not—immortal, am I?”

“Oh, we can die.” His sharp gaze pins me to the spot. “It’s just very difficult to kill us. Even for the fiends.”

“Because we heal,” I whisper. Already images are filling my head. I look away, swallowing hard. Will I have to watch everyone I love perish, again, turned to ash before my eyes, expire in my arms like my sister? I grip the railings for support, the metal digging into my flesh. Short breaths come out, one after another. I wanted to live. But if everyone I know dies, what is there to live for in this world?

But I’m not alone. He’s the same as I am.

And that just makes it worse.