Indebted (14 page)

“More than anything.” My voice trembles a little.

“Then stop denying yourself the one thing that could make you happy. You deserve some happiness. You’ve made yourself miserable over the years. I don’t know if it’s to punish yourself for the things you have to do or what, but it’s time for you to have some good in your life.”

My heart races at the thought of taking his advice. Could he be right? Could I have everything?

Sitting there, I’m thunderstruck. Tristan’s right—I can’t let Aaron go. I can protect him, and we can see if we have a future together. I want everything with him, and if I have to fight for it, I will. Kyle is going to have no chance if I have anything to say about it.

“You’re right, Tristan. I’m going after him right now. I can’t let go of him, and I won’t.”

Giving each other a brotherly hug, Tristan says, “Go get your man.”

My heart is racing as I head to my car. Driving off, I’m nervous and excited. I’ve never had the feeling of hope before.

Just another reason to keep Aaron in my life.

L
EAVING
WAS
the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time.

My heart is heavy. It has to be this way, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. Somehow, I get to my house through my daze. Shutting the door to my little apartment, I set my bag down and sigh. I look around the familiar surroundings, but they do nothing to cheer me up. I used to love this place and felt comfort every time I came home. Now it kind of seems empty, quiet even. It needs a big, boisterous laugh and footfalls in the hall.

Shaking my head at these silly thoughts, I go to my bedroom and start to unpack. I’m expecting Chloe any minute. One thing I’m sure of is she won’t be able to stay away for long. There’s a juicy story here waiting for her to get her fill of. Deciding I have enough time before she arrives, I go ahead and jump in the shower.

Not long after I’m clean and dressed, my doorbell rings. I barely get it open before I’m tackled by a small pixie with a hell of a strong hug. With her still in my arms, I walk us backward until she finally lets me loose.

She immediately starts chattering. “Oh my God, I have missed you so much. I’m so glad you’re okay. Well, you look okay. You are okay, right?”

She pauses to hear my answer. “I’m fine, Chloe. This weekend turned out to be pretty great, surprisingly. It was scary at first going in there, though.”
Shut up—she’s going to think you’re a nut for being happy with the time you spent with him.

She appears shocked at my words. “What do you mean, ‘pretty great’? I have been scared for you the whole time, and you were having a dream date or something? What the hell?”

There is anger and hurt in her voice, so I try to calm her down. “It just didn’t turn out as bad as it could have. Liam was really sweet to me. He was gentle, kind, and really funny. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I told you in my texts I was okay.”

She doesn’t seem impressed. “It sounds like this guy means something to you. I don’t understand how, but does he?”

I’m trying to figure out why she’s so upset with me. I thought she would be excited I had fun on a weekend that could have been my last. “I don’t know about feelings, but we definitely connected on a different level than just the contract. We have a natural attraction for each other. He’s hot, and we like many of the same things. He was gentle and caring and I was very happy with him.”

Now horrified, Chloe demands, “You’re attracted to him? Are you going to see him again? You do know he’s a murderer? Has any of this run through your mind during your wonderful time together?”

She’s putting into words everything I’ve been hearing in my head all weekend. She’s right, but I just can’t bring myself not to like Liam. Hell, I more than like him. He makes me feel safe, cared for, and extremely wanted. I understand I can’t be in his world and I will never fit in, and having no way to be helpful and protect myself, I’ll be in the way. It just won’t work. I’m not what he needs. Although that doesn’t make me stop wishing I can be.

Groaning miserably, I answer her, “Yes, Chloe, I’m very attracted to him. I know you see him as a murderer, but I see him as more. There is much more to him than just that. I don’t even think he wants to do what he does.” I begin pacing and pulling at my hair. “I know better, though. I won’t see him anymore, no matter how badly I may want to.”

Wetness trickles down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away.

Chloe walks up and hugs me. “Shhh now, it’s all over. I know this has been tough on you, but now you can move on and try to forget this awful experience.”

Suddenly, I’m angry. Is she not listening to me? I don’t understand why she can’t comprehend that this weekend was one of the best in my life. I move out of her embrace and glance at her. She’s so sympathetic and worried. I’m horrible for getting frustrated with her.
She wasn’t there with you, you have to remember that. Just explain things.

“Chloe, that’s the whole problem. I don’t want it to be over. I want to be with him for as much and as long as I can. He is everything I’ve ever dared to hope for in a man and I can’t have him, all because of his profession.”

Now she appears to be fuming. “His ‘profession’? You make it sound like he is a used-car salesman! He beats and kills people for a living. I don’t care if you don’t like to think of him that way, but it’s the only way I can see him.”

I’ve had it. “Don’t say that! He doesn’t want to do those things. I can tell he’s a good person. I agree, I can’t be involved with him, but that doesn’t mean you get to tarnish what few memories I’m going to have of him.”

Unexpectedly, she grabs my shoulders and shakes them lightly. “You have got to snap out of this daze he’s got you under. It’s one thing to go there because you feel you have no choice. It’s another to make this guy into a fantasy.” Sighing, she steps back. “I think you need some alone time to sort through all the crap running through your head right now. Call me if you need me, I’ll always be here for you. I’m just worried, okay?”

Too stunned by her outburst and wanting her to just leave right now, I answer, “I know you are. I love you. I’ll give you a call later.”

She gives me a small hug and then leaves as fast as she got here. I’m disappointed she doesn’t want all the sexy details and to check out my new clothes, but I understand. I’m still a little surprised at myself for having had a good time this weekend. Her leaving so abruptly surprises me since we aren’t separated that much, and definitely not in dangerous situations like this weekend could have been.

Unable to come up with answers at the moment, I go into the kitchen to make some coffee. A little more motivated with some caffeine in my system, I head to put away some clothes. After a while, my phone signals I’ve received a message. I sit down on the couch and view it, excited when I see it’s from Liam. My heart is ridiculously picking up speed.

Did you get home okay?
See, Chloe? Caring and thoughtful.

Home safe and sound. Thanks for checking:)

Did you give your dad the note yet?

I’ve forgotten all about that. I’m not looking forward to that chat. I’ve not really had time to ponder how I feel about my dad’s role in things. Getting my mind back on Liam, I reply to him.

Not yet, headed there soon.
I wait, hoping maybe he has something else to say. Nothing pops up, so I get desperate….

How’s your day going?

I smile as he answers me immediately.

It would be much better if it was yesterday. I enjoyed our time together.

Sadness weighs me down, and I sigh as I lay my head on the couch. I want it to be yesterday too. We had so much fun. Being with him felt like coming home.

If only….

Me too. I’m sorry things aren’t different, I wish they were.

That uncomfortable pressure in my chest starts again, and I subconsciously rub my hand over my heart.

Same here.

I close my eyes, wondering if I can ever get past this. How someone can affect me so thoroughly in such a short amount of time is something I don’t understand. It’s almost as if a piece of me is missing.
You need to stop wallowing. It was fun; now get over it and go back to your life.

I busy myself with putting my clothes away. The whole time, I’m still itching to text Liam. It’s driving me crazy. An idea hits me, and I decide to go and get my meeting with Dad out of the way. I grab the note and my keys and head to his house

Opening the screen, I knock, and Dad answers. The door is wide enough to let me in. I give him a once-over to make sure he hasn’t been hurt.

Giving me a knowing smile, he asks, “Well, boy, seems my little plan worked.”

My irritation gets the better of me. Bitingly, I answer, “Yeah, it did. Thanks so much for your concern.”

Rolling his eyes, he patronizes me. “I was worried, but I knew he couldn’t resist my handsome son.”

I concede he’s not going to suddenly change, and I decide to hand over the note. “Here, this is for you.”

Looking at me curiously, he takes it and opens the sealed envelope. I stand there, nervously waiting to hear a hint of what this is about. He suddenly chuckles and glances at me, his eyes shining with glee.

“You must have been some piece of ass, that’s all I got to say,” Dad supplies.

He hands me the note and walks off. I’m so stunned, I can’t even say anything. I decide to look at it myself.

To Asshole Quinn, Sr.,

Your thoughtful and loving son has paid your debt. I have no idea what you might ask of him next time you need to, so I have paid the rest of it off in full.

If I so much as hear a whisper you have put Aaron in any kind of danger again, you will be sure to regret it.

Liam

So many emotions are running through me at this moment: elation, embarrassment, anger, and gratitude.

What Liam has done is way beyond anything he agreed to. I want to run to him and thank him… personally. The fact that I can’t brings another stab of regret. Since my dad is apparently finished with me, I leave.

Getting home, I decide to make it an early night and head to the bathroom to start my evening routine. Soon, I slip into bed, giving in to my craving, and pull out my phone. Refusing to fully crack and text him, I open the secret picture I’d taken of Lee sleeping. I probably shouldn’t have, but I wanted something to remember him by, make it feel real.

In the photo, he’s stretched out, gloriously naked. A maroon sheet is tangled around his sexy, muscular legs. I move my eyes down his sculpted chest to his rippling abs. My heart rate picks up and the blood rushes to my groin. My dick twitches as the beginnings of the dark patch of hair leading to his cock comes into view. Flashes of his length and all the pleasure he can create with it hits me.

I travel my fingertips down to my aching flesh. Dipping my hand into my sleep pants, I grip myself tightly, moaning as I waste no time and pump myself. Visions race through my head….

My lips claimed by his.

Hard muscles flexing and tensing as he drives into me.

The erotic sounds I inspire him to make.

With each image, I get closer to my goal. Moving my fist faster, I groan at the sensations running through me. I can almost feel him here with me.

I imagine his voice filled with want. “I need you so much, Aaron. Show me what I do to you. Show me how much you want me.”

I lock my eyes on his face and fall over the edge. “Oh fuck…. Lee, so good, always so good.”

Spurts of my seed cover my hand and stomach. My breathing is rough, but the high doesn’t last for very long. Sadness overtakes me and I’m back to missing him. I switch off my phone and set it on the side table. After cleaning up in a huff, I lay on my side, turning out the light. Reaching that peak without him felt so hollow. How am I ever going to move on?

Tuesday passes in a blur of work and hanging out with Chloe. She’s acting like everything is back to normal. I don’t mention Liam to keep the peace, even though my mind wanders to him often. It’s weird, though, because I’ve never had to censor myself with her. I don’t like it, but I don’t want things to be awkward, so I watch what I say.

Wednesday, I contact Kyle and make plans for him to come over this afternoon when I’m off work. I get home and call in a pizza. Soon, the knock at my door tells me he’s here. I’m relieved to have the distraction. After watching
Groundhog Day
on TV today, my mind has been filled with nothing but Liam and our last day together.

Smiling wide, I say, “Hey, man, it’s so nice to see you.” I reach up and give him a hug.

“It’s nice to see you too. I’ve really missed you.”

“Me too. I can’t believe we ever lost track of each other.”

As he comes inside, he agrees, “Yeah, me either.”

We settle in, and the pizza arrives soon after. Most of the night is filled with reminiscing about the old days and watching movies.