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Authors: Simi K. Rao

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BOOK: Inconvenient Relations
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“Wha…at?” She stared at him wide-eyed.

“Any suggestions for remedy, my dear? I feel quite distressed.” His lips settled a bare inch from hers.

Her vision began to fog up as her breaths turned disjointed.

“If you are both done smooching, can I have my tea please.”

Craassh!

***

Ruhi was somewhat perplexed to see Sunshine greet them with a wide expectant smile when they trooped guiltily back into the living room.

“I’m so sorry but I broke this, and I know it can’t be replaced.” She remorsefully held out the fractured ancient tea cup while furiously eyeballing her masculine accomplice.

At
least she is brave enough to own up to her fault. But why is she protecting me?
Shaan wondered while still unable to fathom how Ruhi had allowed him to come so close and how they would have come closer still.

“It’s all right, child,” Sunshine said, turning over the delicate piece of china in her hand. “It was a wedding present, but I am not going to take it with me to my grave, am I? It’ll just be me and my bones.”

“Oh please don’t say that! You are going to outlive all of us, I’m sure.”

“No, I’ve had enough. My batteries are all worn out!” She cackled wildly, flapping her hands.

“Did anything happen?” The wise woman’s eyebrows shot up dramatically in Shaan’s direction.

Talk about playing one’s cards close to one’s chest. Ruhi will have it figured out in no time!

“It didn’t work.” He emitted an exaggerated sigh after taking a cautious sip of his dark brew and reclined against the lacy cushions, all the while staring openly at Ruhi.

She looked away flushing with anger.

“Verdammt!”

Shaan’s ears turned red with shock, the old lady indeed had a colorful vocabulary.
Hell, it’s not my fault!

JJ screeched imitating a hyena and swung upside down on his perch; he seemed to prosper in the hubbub.

“Sunshine!”

“I was born in Austria,” she said dismissively as though it was adequate explanation. “But tell me why didn’t it happen, my boy, why?”

Why is this old hag bent on composing my funeral march?
Shaan bristled.

“What’s going on? I think I deserve an explanation!” Ruhi didn’t like being kept in the dark particularly when she was the topic of discussion.

“Kaput!”

“My dear,” Sunshine said, shooting a vile look at the bird who had taken to preening his feathers, “it’s simple. This is an honest attempt to bring together two beautiful people whose match has been made in heaven. It’s a crime you’re still apart!”

Ruhi gave a pale imitation of a smile. “So very nice of you to say, but really, you didn’t have to go to such lengths. We share the same quarters.”

“What? You have been living together, and nothing has happened?” Sunshine stared aghast at both of them. “If it had been me in your place, my child, I’d have seduced this handsome hunk of a man a long time ago!
No one is safe from Sunshine’s charms, like my Jeremy used to say… Poor man, may his soul rest in peace.”

Ruhi went into a convulsion of manic laughter while Shaan raised the old charmer’s hand gallantly to his lips. “You’d already had me trapped in your magic, now you’ve taken possession of my heart as well.”

“Stop taxing an old lady’s ticker, my boy, it still has to last me another couple of years!”

Sunshine grinned, smacking his arm. “I know who has stolen your heart, don’t I, sweet buns?” She looked meaningfully at Ruhi.

“It’s not as easy as you think, Sunshine. It’s very complicated!” Ruhi protested in frustration, her voice breaking as she turned to the window, trying to mask the tears that threatened to race down her cheeks.

Shaan hurried to her.

“What’s going on between you two? I don’t understand. You owe me a clarification, young man!”

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Shaan blundered.

Of course you don’t!
Ruhi fumed.

“I don’t approve of this arrangement at all!” Sunshine had worked herself up into a frenzy. “What are your intentions? How long before you propose to this young lady?”

“I… I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m already taken,” Shaan said, casting a wary glance at Ruhi. “I’m already bound in a sacred relationship to a most lovely young woman, and I have no desire of letting her go without a fight!”

“But it doesn’t make any sense.” Sunshine looked perplexed.

But Shaan didn’t pay her any heed. “She is disappointed and peeved with me at the moment and not wrongly so, but I intend to persuade her to change her mind before it’s too late,” he declared fervently, not taking eyes off his alienated wife.

Ruhi’s person stiffened as she attempted very hard to stem the flood of emotions his words had provoked. Sunshine observed her with consternation, then smiled when her astute gaze fell on the gold band, which she was unconsciously twisting around her finger.

“Honk! Honk! Honk!”

Ruhi jumped, screaming. “What the hell!”

“Shut up, JJ!” Sunshine threw her shawl on JJ’s cage. “He has gone berserk, too much excitement today and it’s past his bedtime.”

“It’s just eight o’clock,” Shaan muttered glancing at his wrist. Sunshine glowered at him.

“Uh…oh. Yes! You’ve had a long day, Mrs. Jeremy.”
Wily fox!
He grinned back at her.

“Do you need any help in the kitchen before we go, Sunshine?” Ruhi fussed around her friend, not at all in a hurry to leave.

“No, thank you, my dear. These old bones need some exercise or else they’ll get stiff and shatter,” Sunshine said, happily shooing her away. “Oh, talking about exercise, I just remembered something.”

Ruhi paused, looking back eagerly from the door while her escort frowned.

Sunshine fumbled turning bright pink. “You know the eighty-year-old neighbor I had mentioned earlier? He wants to take me out on a date this weekend.”

“Oh, how lovely!” Ruhi clasped her hands together in delight.

“He’s from China, a Mr. Chang or Lee or something.”

Ruhi laughed. “It seems rude to not even know his name.”

“I’ll learn when he goes down on bended knee but then he may not be able to. Well, that’s beside the point. As I said, he wants to take me square dancing, but I don’t want to show him that I’m interested, so I have a plan!”

“Care to elaborate before the night is out?” Shaan said, getting edgy.

“My wish is for Ruhi to go as Mr. Lee’s date while I take Shaan as mine. That will surely make everybody stand up and pay attention, particularly Mr. Lee!” she asserted with a devilish wink.

“Uh…oh! What can I say? You give me way too much credit. I can’t dance at all!”

He received a reassuring pat on his arm. “You will do fine. Just come and cheer us old folks and perhaps have some fun in the process.”

“I don’t think I’ll be nice company for your Mr. Lee. He probably wants to go with you.” Ruhi looked apprehensive.

“He is likely to have a stroke when he sees you and another when he sees me with Shaan!” Sunshine tittered, thrilled to bits. “But I want him jealous, as green as can be!”

“But—”

“Please won’t you make this small sacrifice for a poor old woman who seeks a companion for the remaining days of her worldly life?” Sunshine looked beseechingly at Ruhi.

She was enclosed in a warm hug.

“You are a true classic,” Shaan mumbled in her ear before planting a firm kiss on her wrinkled cheek.

“Now get going before JJ has a fit!” She hustled them out of the door.

Later, she watched as the pair slowly strolled together deep in conversation before coming to a standstill under a streetlight. She whispered to JJ who was perched on her shoulder, “I would give my dentures to be able to hear what that silly boy is saying right now, JJ! Wouldn’t you?”

He puffed up his feathers and hooted like an owl.

She sighed. “God bless them. They are a pair of fools in love. Now let’s go and get you some treats!”

Amends

T
here wasn’t a chill in the air. Yet Ruhi was captured by an uncontrollable shiver as she stared up at the window of the dwelling they had just left. She had been so much warmer and safer inside.

Shaan saw her draw her arms up to hug herself. “Are you all right?”

Their eyes locked briefly before his own fell reluctantly to his side. They waited till the lights turned off.

“Poor Mr. Lee, she’s going to give him a tough time,” Ruhi observed while smiling to herself as they slowly ambled together to the place they called home.

Not unlike you, sweetheart. Why do all women like to play hard to get? Not that there isn’t any thrill in the chase! Yet one does wish to be rewarded periodically.
He saw his earnest appeal slide ineffectually off her slim back.

“Did you say something to me?” She paused midstep, hoping he had.

“Uh…no. I was just ruminating.”

“Over what?”

“That women, no matter how ancient, can easily twist a man around their finger, like Sunshine has Mr. Lee or Chang or whatever his name may be.”

“It can’t be done unless he wishes to be ensnared. He has to be a willing victim.”

Yes, that’s right. It’s just a game for you, isn’t it, Ruhi?

But she wasn’t attending to his thoughts. “It’s so nice to see someone in her situation to not have lost the will to live life to the fullest. I wish her all the best, she deserves it.”

“Yes, she does indeed.”
I owe her for today, or I’d never have gathered enough guts to say what I needed to say.

“I bet she is still watching us.” Ruhi stopped, glancing back still uptight. “I think I saw something move.”

“Must be that bird. I hate him!” Shaan declared with vehemence.

“Why? And he has a name; JJ.”

“Fine, JJ! All he did was curse me out in different tongues!”

Ruhi laughed. “You probably deserved it. Animals are much more intuitive than humans you know.”

“You think so?” Shaan erupted. Why
does she not lose a single chance to tease me?

“Oh c’mon. There’s no need to get crabby now. He’s a sweetheart, besides he sang for me!”

“Oh, so you wish to be serenaded, do you?”

“I’m certainly not immune to it.” She became pensive. “It just feels good someone thinks me worthy enough…”

“Ruhi, I—”

But she didn’t let him finish. “Oh yes! What was all that about?”

He raised his brow, feigning puzzlement.

“I… I mean by what you said there, in Sunshine’s house, in her presence.” She was getting all rattled, and he was relishing it.

“Oh that…”

“Yes. What were you driving at?”

Okay, my man, here goes…

He cleared his throat. “Ruhi, you know I have never willfully lied to you. I have always been honest.”
Even though I was fooling myself.

So you wish to imply your words weren’t in jest?
She sought his face under the deceptive shadows of a street lamp probing for a sign, any hint he may not be telling the truth. His eyes did not waver.

“I would never play with your emotions.”

“Then what you told me not once but twice and not so long ago has all of a sudden become a thing of the past?” she demanded incredulously.

Damn! I knew she would put me in a spot. I can’t afford to appear flaky.

He inhaled a cautious breath. “At the moment, I did mean it. But now that I’ve gotten to know you, it’s not the same.”

She let forth a peal of mocking laughter. “So I’m supposed to discount the hurt and the insult?”

“I cannot take back what I said, and sorry is not a word I like to use much. All I can say is when we met, we were complete strangers, and I wasn’t a rational being. The second time I was so vexed I wanted to live in isolation. You weren’t at fault.”

“So does that mean you and uhh…Des are no more?” The subtle relent in her tone sent a surge of hope through his veins.

“We are absolutely not! She was just someone I hung on to because at the time I was floundering in the dark, then…”

“Then?”

“Then you came into my life and everything changed and…” His eyes said the rest.

She wanted to believe in him more than ever, but her mind advised her to be watchful, she couldn’t afford another heartbreak. “So what do you propose to do now?”

“I…” He fell silent.
But I cannot tell her how I feel; she won’t believe me. She would wonder how somebody could fall in and out of love so quickly. She won’t understand that I never was in love with Des. It was all an illusion, make believe.

He regarded his scuffed-up shoes for inspiration. “In the past few weeks, I have gotten used to having you around. I look forward to talking to you, to seeing your face every day when I wake up and before I go to sleep.”

“But I irritate you and bicker with you, what of that?”

“It doesn’t matter at all. Rather, I feel it is an expression of our getting more comfortable with each other. I want you! I… I need you to be with me always, by my side.” He approached closer, “And I hope we can make it work, you and me as man and wife. I’m willing to give it my best.”

There. It’s out! How will she take it?

It was her turn to look down at her shoes; she hadn’t expected it. It was too much too soon, and she couldn’t digest it. She couldn’t think! She tapped her feet and looked down the path. Her legs were itching to go on a run, away, far away from this madness he was creating inside her!

Then all of a sudden, she turned to him fumbling with her jacket, “C’mon! Help me with this stupid zipper. Hurry!”

“What’s going on, Ruhi?” Did my revelation affect my spouse so much she has taken leave of her senses? He thought, while obliging her, pulling up the zipper of her light jacket, which enveloped her torso like a glove. His fingers grazing the sensitive skin of her neck in the process. She shuddered.

Damn! She feels it, too.

She mussed up her hair then, hastily putting her arm through his, and rested her head intimately in the crook of his shoulder. “Hug me!” she said in an urgent whisper.

Perhaps lady luck is on my side. She has changed her mind already!

He hugged her.

“Not so tight that I can hardly breathe,” she chided him.

“Hell! What is going on? Are you up to one of your tricks again?”

“Your eyes are magic, your body fragrance sublime. Say yes, or say no, you are still my Ruhi!”

Shaan wheeled around to see Debo and Sujoy with Anu in a stroller, approaching fast from behind singing and laughing.

“OMGeee!
Dibhai, dadamoni!
I…What a surprise!” Ruhi shouted letting go of his arm.

Shaan regarded her with admiration. Got to give it to her, if anyone can give Sunshine a run for her money, it’s my Ruhi!

“Hi Sooj, Debo! How come out for a stroll so late?”

“Hi, Shaan,” Debo said coyly, directing a wink at her husband. “We are always out with Anu at this hour. It’s just that we don’t happen meet you two every day.”

“Oh my little Anu. My
Shona!
My, my how you have grown!” Ruhi squealed with delight as she scooped up the toddler who came to her readily. “Why don’t you leave her with me sometimes, di? I’d love to babysit.”

“No, that’s not fair, is it, Shaan?” Debo said, looking mischievously at him.

“Uhm…what? What’s not fair?”

“Haaye yeh toh kaam se gaya!”
(He’s bowled over!) she declared, eyeing Ruhi who blushed.

“Ahem! Debo, let them be. I think we are interrupting something important here.”

“Oh no, not at all,” Ruhi said.

“Oh yes we are!” Sujoy corrected her with a smile.

“Oh, I’m so happy to see both of you like this!” Debo said, enveloping Shaan and Ruhi in her warm gaze.

“Do come to the apartment, we can talk for sometime,” Ruhi pleaded.

“No, no, Anu has to be put to bed, and we don’t want to be cursed to hell as Shaan is preparing to do right now. Do we, Sujoy?”

“No, of course not! Will see you tomorrow at work Shaan…perhaps?”

Shaan grinned and nodded as the trio quickly bid their goodbyes and hurried away.

He smiled indulgently at Ruhi as she unconsciously latched on to his arm again and leaned on his shoulder while they resumed their walk. He wanted to savor these precious moments where there were no questions to be asked or answers to be given, just a peaceful togetherness.

At the bottom of the steps, he paused; he needed to know. “So it was all for the benefit of Debo, wasn’t it? Are you afraid of her?”

“Huh?” She snapped out of her private musings and moved away taking on a defensive posture. “No…actually, yes. I didn’t want to suffer another lecture.” She unzipped her jacket; it had gotten quite warm.

He nodded. “I agree with you entirely. She used to be a teacher by profession.”

She giggled. “Must have been a very good one then. Let’s go, it’s time for
Two and a Half Men
.” She turned toward the stairs.

“No,” he said, blocking her way, “not before I know your decision.”

“About what?”

“That you will stay here with me?”

She smiled mysteriously. “So you are anxious for my answer, Mr. Grey?”

He grasped her roughly by the arms. “Damn you, Ruhi! Didn’t I warn you not to call me by that awful name again? Or I’ll…”

“You’ll what?”

“Kiss you,” he blurted out.

She let out a tiny gasp while her eyes widened with irrational excitement. She wanted to incite him further, take the risk.

“Then do it, Mr. Grey!”

“Ruhi!” He pulled her to himself and was surprised she came readily without a struggle.

What is she trying to do now? Can’t she see I’m crazy about her?

Her pulse thudded loud in her ears when she saw him bend forward, intent on carrying out his threat.

Give it up, Ruhi! What is there to lose? You want it as bad as he does!

“No!” She pushed him away and ran up the stairs.

He groaned, crouching down on the steps. “God I hate this girl! I really do. But I don’t want to let her go either. This is unending torture. What am I to do?”

He felt a tap on his shoulder. “I’m willing to consider it.” There was mischief in her voice.

“Not so fast.” He pulled her down before she could run away again. “I need to know now! Please don’t go, say you won’t!”

She stared at his anxious face and melted.
Poor Grey. He has been through a lot today.

“Fine, I’ll give it my best shot, but on one condition!”

“I’m willing to do anything!”

She laughed, gently stroking his cheek. “Can we get some pizza from Tony’s?”

“Phew! You witch! You had me scared sick.” He smiled, looking relieved, and then holding her firmly by the hand proceeded up the stairs.

“Look here. If you start calling me names, I’m gone tomorrow!”

“I’m sorry, but you irk me to the infinite degree.”

“Then I’d better leave,” she said.

“No! I like being irked.”

She giggled. “Order the pizza right now. I want to watch Ashton.”

“Like hell you do! We are watching
Gone with the Wind
on DVD.”

“No way!”

“Yes way!”

A door closed with a loud bang.

BOOK: Inconvenient Relations
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