Inconstant Moon - Default Font Edition (16 page)

He nods. “Thanks, Elsie.”

She turns away and it occurs to him for the first time that Elsie the maneater has just had him pinned in the corner wearing nothing but a towel. Suddenly he feels a little hurt.

“Is that it?” he asks, wrapping the peas in the towel, and gently laying it against his eye.

She turns back and says, “I can't write you a prescription, I'm only a student.” Then she registers the look of rejection on his face, and a smile plays around the corners of her mouth. “Ah. You mean,” she points to him, and says, “boy,” to herself, “girl”, then pointing at his “towel?”

He starts to blush, says, “Well, uh, yeah.”

“In the first place, you're a patient. The most important thing in my life is becoming a doctor. Even wannabe doctors have to take care not to dally with patients. That's one. And two, I have an exam to study for.”

Boris is happy that at least she didn't say he was ugly.

Still.

“That's not what I meant. I mean from a woman's point of view, what's wrong with me?”

The smile reaches her eyes. “Not a thing, Boris.” She appraises his form seriously, then continues, “You're very nearly perfect. You've got a great body. Good muscle tone, definition. Perhaps your nose is a bit too perfect, a touch too straight. A little jog would make it nearly irresistible. Maybe next time get her to go for the nose and leave your eyes alone. When they're not bashed in you have beautiful eyes. A good face.”

Boris looks a little bit happier to hear how great he is. “Really? You really think so?”

“I wouldn't lie to you. I like you, Boris, but you're a romantic. And much as I'd enjoy divesting you of that towel, I don't think it would do either of us any good. Do you?”

Sadly he says, “Oh, I don't know.”

She winks at him. “But I'm only human after all, so maybe you'd better go put some clothes on just the same.” She smiles down at the towel, licks her lips, then turns on her heel and heads out of the kitchen.

Boris finds himself smiling in spite of himself. Maybe he isn't a total loser. Maybe he will be fighting off the babes at the pub.

Good muscle tone she said. He flexes, making sure to keep a good grip on the frozen peas. Held gently against the sore eye. Ow.

Great body, eh?

Mouse and Amelia sit at the back of the lecture hall across the aisle from Jose and Eric. Mouse dutifully types notes, but Amelia finds herself spending all her time texting back and forth with Eric.

eric
do you think she misses me?

amelia
I don't know, why don't you ask her?

eric
does she seem different at all?

amelia
not to me . . . but I'm not really friends with her.

eric
Y not?

amelia
We're into different stuff

Eric looks across at Amelia. She's holding out on him. Hmm.

eric
the real reason?

amelia
she doesn't have friends.

eric
you think she's lonely?

amelia
i doubt it very much

Amelia glances at Eric. Let somebody else tell the poor schnook, She's not going to.

eric
you don't think she misses me?

amelia
she's pre-med. you know how heavy a course load that is.

eric
i miss her

amelia
i know you do, I'm sorry. you hear bout Boris and Natasha?

eric
no, what about b & n?

amelia
really? where were you at lunch?

eric
what about Boris and Natasha?

amelia
big fight

eric
about what?

amelia
don't know, nobody knows. one minute lovey dovey next minute Natasha decks him

eric
Natasha? U say five foot nothing Natasha decked 6 foot squared Boris? i don't believe it.

amelia
that's coz you're a 98 pound English geek

eric
hmmmph I'll have you know that I weigh at least 135

amelia
anyway, that's the story

eric
ur just making this up to make me feel better

amelia
it happened ask anybody

eric
anybody except me, eh?

amelia
didn't see it myself but seems everybody else did

eric
hmmm

amelia
what?

eric
was everybody texting about me and Elsie too?

amelia
not really

eric
what does 'not really' mean

amelia
nobody knew anything. u didn't explode in the oval either

eric
Natasha really hit Boris?

amelia
knocked him down is what they say.

eric
what did people say about us?

amelia
one minute you and Elsie r joined at hip and the next ur not.

eric
what did he do when she hit him?

amelia
he fell down.

eric
figure of speech?

amelia
real deal

Eric looks at Amelia, who pantomimes crossing her heart.

amelia
you know, most everybody will be out tonight

eric
and?

amelia
y don't we have a depression party

eric
a what?

amelia
my girlfriend and i used to do that all the time in high school

eric
what u talking about A?

amelia
pretty much everybody's going out for computer club night.

eric
i know that. what i don't understand is “depression party”

amelia
eat popcorn & chocolate and watch depressing movies & listen to depressing music. drink cheap wine 2 if u want

eric
movies like what?

amelia
maybe titanic?

eric
oh that's a great movie. excellent special effects and . . .

amelia
OK, that one's out then

eric
why? it's a great movie!

amelia
disqualified for fun parts. supposed to be depressing

eric:
A? what IS the point?

amelia
idea of depression party is to wallow in your agony.

eric
ok . . . i know >I< have agony. . . i didn't know you have agony

amelia
i do . . . trust me on this

eric
great girl like you what could possibly be depressing in your life?

amelia
maybe i'll tell you sometime

eric
how bout Grave of the Fireflies.

amelia
nuclear aftermath? what i've heard, if i didn't start out depressed that'd give me depression, am i right?

eric
but why are you depressed?

amelia
why does anybody get depressed?

eric
ah. i didn't think you were going out with anybody.

amelia
that would about do it.

eric
what, guys aren't beating down your door?

amelia
lol . . . not hardly . . .

eric
i don't believe that

amelia
not the one i want beating down my door anyway

eric
oh . . . there's one you want . . . do tell . . . who's the lucky guy?

amelia
i'd have to kill you if i told you

eric
Not fair. you know the cause of my misery.

amelia
i hate to tell you this eric, but the entire world knows that

eric
good point . . . come on A . . . i'll never tell.

amelia
so, i hear Fireflies is supposed to be really heavy.

eric
uh, yeah, it is. I've got Requiem for a Dream, too

amelia
get out. guess I'll have to bring La Jette to lighten it up

eric
what's that?

amelia
an old movie, but I think you'll like it.

eric
wait a minute A . . . this mean i'm your girlfriend?

amelia
lol . . . no stupid it means you're a friend . . . besides my girlfriends don't hv 5 o'clock shadow ;D

eric
darn . . . thought if i was your girlfriend you'd have to tell me who you have the hots for

amelia
c'mon why do you want to know?

eric
so i can mess him up if he won't go out with my buddy

amelia
doesn't work that way unfortunately . . . *sigh*

eric
sounds great. can't wait for the depression party kiddo

amelia
why is that?

eric
wallowing in agony is mighty appealing but i figure i'll be able to pry your secret out of you

amelia
lol you fool

eric
you can tell me . . . really

amelia
maybe some day

eric
ve haff ways of making you talk

amelia
i'm not saying a word.

Liz is pacing in the the nearly empty cafeteria, cell phone pressed tightly to her ear. It rings and rings as she paces. Back and forth in front of the windows she peers out at the fall foliage without really seeing it. Why doesn't someone answer?

She waves at Jake coming in through the entrance, snapping the phone closed when he joins her.

“Anything?” she asks anxiously.

Shaking his head, Jake says, “No, nobody's seen her.”

“The car show was her idea.”

“I agree it's not like her, but beating up Boris isn't either.”

“Beating up Boris? What are you talking about?” Liz can see Jake's not kidding, but still. “You're saying Natasha beat up Boris?”

“Apparently she knocked him down in the oval, in full sight of pretty much the whole school. But that was at lunch and nobody's seen her since.”

“I don't get it. I can't even imagine them having a disagreement, let alone a physical fight.”

“Nobody heard what it was about, it was just the two of them. But everybody saw her deck him. Still, it's hard to know where she went after. Most people think she took the path to the parking lot, not the residence.”

“That makes sense 'cause she was supposed to catch the bus with me. And nobody answers at the Res. But it doesn't explain why she didn't come to the show.”

“Keeping a low profile? Maybe she went to the mall.”

“Then why doesn't she answer her phone?”

“I don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to talk to anybody. Did you try texting her?”

“She's not answering texts either.” Liz flips open her phone again, and redials. This time the phone at the Res is picked up. “Hi who's this?” Liz asks hopefully.

“Elsie. Is that you Liz?”

“Yeah, look, is Natasha there?”

“No, she's not. Do you want to talk to Boris?”

Liz can hear Boris, saying in the background, “I don't want to.”

Liz rolls her eyes. Uh oh. Boris and Elsie alone in the Res, not answering the phone. That's bad. Uh oh.

Then Elsie says, “But it isn't Natasha.”

Then Boris is on the line. “Yo.”

Although she knows the answer, Liz has to ask, “Boris, is Natasha there?”

“No. I don't know where she is but she sure isn't here.”

“Could you just check her room please?”

“You know what, I really don't care where she is.”

“Bo, I'm worried.” Liz flashes on Maggie saying “I was worried about you.” There's a clunk as the receiver drops.

“Boris! Boris don't.”

Elsie is on the line again. “Sorry. He bailed and went back to his room. Is there something I can do to help?”

“Could you just check Natasha's room, see if she's there? Nobody has seen her.”

“I'm sure she's not, but I'll check.” Elsie gently lays the phone down beside its receiver.” Liz covers the mouthpiece and tells Jake, “Elsie's gone to look.”

“That's good.” Jake nods. “Boris didn't want to talk?”

“Nope.” Liz resumes pacing. “Jerk.”

“Jerk? Why is he a jerk?”

“He doesn't care about Natasha.”

“Liz, some on. She punched him out in front of the whole school. He's probably mad at her.”

“But she could be . . .”

“She humiliated him in front of the whole world. She hit him.” Jake explains.

“Oh, come on he's a big guy. She couldn't hurt him.”

“What do you mean? Of course she could hurt him.” Jake shakes his head. “You think a person's size has anything to do with whether they feel pain?”

“I didn't say that.”

“Even if Boris was impervious to physical pain, which I doubt, then there's the psychic pain of being humiliated in public. She knocked him down, Liz. Legally it's 'assault and battery'.”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of it?”

“You don't think it's a big deal?”

“Well no, not really.”

Jake shakes his head in disgust. “Would it be a big deal if Boris hit Natasha?”

“Well, sure.”

“So why is this any different?”

“Because she's tiny. Because he's big. Because . . . ”

“You're saying it's okay to hit someone bigger than you?”

“I never, I mean, well I didn't say that. Exactly. I guess I never really thought about it.” she says.

Jake looks up at Liz. “You're bigger than I am. Does that make it okay for me to punch you?”

“No, of course not.”

“So it's not all right for small guys to hit big girls, but it's okay for small girls to hit big guys.”