Incineration (Heart of Stone) (39 page)

He stood, silently gazing at me and my heart broke for him,
and the agony evident on his face brought forward another tear “Kade, I’m so
sorry. I never meant to hurt you” I whispered softly and he smiled and nodded
“I know Ava” he said as he sat beside me on the bench.

We both sat silently watching the fountain for a while “I
can’t stop thinking about you Ava” he breathed, still staring at the fountain
and my hand slid over to his, grasping it tightly “I know, me too” I confessed
and his head snapped round to look at me, his eyes flicking back and forwards
from my eyes to my mouth “But we can’t do this Kade. There’s too many people
who will get hurt from this” I shook my head, trying to make him see “Ava” he
sighed heavily “Me and Kerrie aren’t together now” he exposed and I nodded “I
know, she told me last night”

I looked away from him, back towards the water feature,
needing the calming effect of it and then I looked back at him and cupped his
face “If Mason finds out what we have done, well…he’ll kill you Kade, and he
won’t even blink while he hurts you. I can’t risk that, you mean too much to me,
but I love Mason, Kade. I’m sorry but I do, with all my heart” he turned away
sharply and I bit my bottom lip

“Then what’s…this?” he turned back, gesturing between the
two of us “I don’t know Kade. I can’t stop thinking about you either and it’s
killing me knowing that I’m hurting you” another tear slid out and Kades eyes
tracked it down my face.

He reached his finger out and caught the drop off my chin
but didn’t move it away. He slid the wetness across my jaw, his eyes studying
his actions and he eventually slipped his hand up to my hair and twirled a
strand of hair round “You have such beautiful hair Ava” he breathed and I drew
in a breath. Why did he make me feel so alive every time he touched me and
looked at me?

His eyes moved from the lock of hair to my face “Breath-taking”
he whispered huskily and my lips parted to let a wisp of hot air out. His gaze
dropped to my mouth again and he leant a little closer to me “The way you made
me feel yesterday was…was mind blowing” he was getting closer and his voice was
getting lower and huskier “The way you felt around me, the way you tasted on my
tongue” he breathed as his mouth hovered over mine.

Panting heavily I was desperately trying to take control of
my dangerous reactions to him “Kade please don…” I never finished the sentence
as his lips softly kissed the words away, softly and tenderly moved over mine.
His hands slid round to frame my face as he unhurriedly nibbled and sucked my
bottom lip.

My body lit up at his touch, like it was already trained for
him and his hands slid softly down my neck as he took me in a firmer kiss, his
arousal and need making him hungry for more. He moaned into my mouth when his
hand brushed my hard nipples, ready for him and I groaned back when he pinched
them over my t-shirt “Jesus Ava, I want to be inside you so bad. I need to feel
your heat around me” I whimpered as his words fired up my arousal and I slid my
hands into his hair, pulling him aggressively tighter into me “Yes Ava, you own
me” he rasped and I bit his lower lip, fiercely. He growled loudly and lifted
me onto his lap, pulling me closer, devouring me and claiming me.

“
Shit!!”
I heard laughing and voices getting closer
and shot off Kades knee and onto the bench as Mason and Kerrie entered the
garden

“Hey, there you are” Mason beamed and I nodded, hoping they
didn’t notice my flushed face “I came to see if the fountain was working and
Kade was in here nursing his hangover” I laughed. Kerrie rolled her eyes at me
and looked at Kade “Feeling better?” she asked and smiled at him “Yeah, sorry.
Just one of those days, you know” he murmured and Mason grabbed my waist,
lifted me up and took my seat, pulling me down onto his lap.

I tensed when he nuzzled my neck “God, you smell good” he
breathed and I saw Kades face shut down again. I jumped up quickly, noticing
Masons frown “Dishes” I said to him, gesturing to the house with my head “Oh no
you don’t” Kerrie said as she sat on the other bench, nowhere near Kade I
noticed. I scowled at her “You cooked, we clean” I grinned and pulled Mason up
“Come on, you can help” he grumbled something illegible and strode off. I
rolled my eyes behind his back “I saw that” he grunted and Kerrie laughed “I’ll
be up in a bit, I need to have a word with Kade” she said and I nodded “No
rush” I stole a quick glance towards Kade and caught his sly smile and I
secretly winked at him, inwardly smiling that he seemed to have recovered from
Masons words to me.

Mason and I were sat on the sofa, drinking coffee as Kerrie
and Kade came back in. They took the sofa opposite us and I saw the flash of
something in Kades eyes.

“Kade and I have decided to separate” Kerrie said bluntly
and I flicked my eyes between them, trying to gauge their feelings “Kades going
to look for an apartment tomorrow” she said softly and he placed his hand in
hers, squeezing gently and smiling gently at her

“Is it what you both want?” Mason asked and they both nodded
“I’m still gonna stop over when she has her chemo sessions but only if she
needs me” Kade said and in that moment my heart swelled out of admiration.

He was willing to put parts of his life on hold and still
care for his estranged wife when she needed him, to me that showed me how
unselfish, caring and compassionate he was and I smiled widely at him. I saw
the glitter in his eyes of what my smile meant to him

“I can always take over for a while, if it ever gets too
much or you have work or something” I offered and Kerrie tipped her head
affectionately at me “You’d do that Ava?” I frowned “Of course I would. You’re
like the sister I never had. I would be thrilled to help” the need to explain
surged through me “Kerrie; since I was eight I have never had any family of my
own. I was shipped from one foster home to another and then I lived on the
streets for a few years” I could feel Kades eyes on me and his emotions
crackled through the air like electricity “The only family I really had after
my parents was my friend Katie” I sighed and Mason grasped my hand and pulled
me into him, kissing the top of my head tenderly and I continued “ever since
the night of Katie’s…Katie’s death, when George found me I have been blessed
with good friends and a surrogate family and I hope…to me you are like a…” I
couldn’t get the words out over the damn lump in my throat.

Kerrie rose and crouched in front of me “I would be
privileged and proud for us to be family” she grinned and I grinned back “Thank
you” I whispered, feeling a little self-conscious about my feelings “You
promise to ring me though if you need me Kerrie” I said and then I turned to
Kade “and you Kade” I told him, meaning if he needed a break through Kerries
recovery.

He smiled slyly “Oh don’t worry Ava, I promise to ring you
if I need you” he said and Masons hand tightened a smidgen around mine. I
shivered at his words and I hoped Mason thought Kade had repulsed me; I wasn’t
going to tell him otherwise

“Kade” Kerrie scolded “That sounded really wrong” she stared
at him wide eyed. He seemed to clear his head “Did it? I’m sorry; I just meant
I would let Ava know if it got too much, you know too hard” he said as he
didn’t bat an eyelid but I read the innuendo in his words and I looked away.

Mason barked out a laugh “That didn’t sound too innocent
either Kade” Kade feigned a frown and then pretended comprehension. His gaze
quickly flicked to me and a chuckle left his mouth “Can’t seem to get my tongue
round things today” he grinned again. Oh God!! I was going to kill him.

 “Words Kade” Kerrie grinned and he frowned at her “What?”
he asked slyly “Words! You said ‘get your tongue round things’ I think you mean
‘get your tongue round words’” she laughed and he pursed his lips “Yeah that
too” he laughed but stood “anyway guys. I’m gonna go sort out an apartment”

He walked over to Mason and patted his back and came to me,
bent down and softly kissed my cheek “Thanks for the offer of your services
Ava” he said with a twinkle in his eye “Anytime” I said nonchalantly and I
noticed his lips twitch. He tipped his head and left the room.

 “Well he seems a bit brighter now” Mason said to Kerrie and
she nodded “It’s better this way. It was too hard on both of us, living
together but separately” she shrugged but I understood her.

She leant towards us “To be honest, it’s a relief” she
confessed and the little bit of guilt I held about was me and Kade were doing
to her lessened a fraction, only a small amount though as the guilt I felt for
what I was doing to Mason outweighed everything.

“You ring me Sis, if you need anything. I was thinking, and
don’t take this the wrong way. How about when the chemo kicks in and you start
to get really ill, well…why don’t you let me hire a private nurse for you”
Kerrie blinked at him “Oh Erm, well I suppose that would solve a lot of
problems to be honest” we all nodded, the thought of how her body would react
to the poison in her system is not something you want anybody to witness, even
those that love you.

I stretched and rolled my head around my neck “We better get
going. I have some paperwork to finish before work tomorrow” I said and stood
up and hugged Kerrie “You take care and I mean it, you need anything, you ring
me” I made her promise and as Mason hugged and kissed her I caught Kade leaning
over the bannister above me.

He winked and blew me a kiss and I returned the sentiment
with a salute against my temple; it was amazing what you could achieve when you
weren’t intoxicated. He clapped silently and grinned and I turned and left.

The next week flew by and by Friday I was lagging, exhausted
and emotionally shattered by my thoughts, guilt and feelings for Kade and as I
exited the NSC building at 6pm Friday night I grinned happily at Mason as I
climbed in his car.

He had been driving me to and from work all week, not
allowing me anywhere on my own “Hey Baby” I breathed in the smell of him, the
simple scent of his familiarity relaxed me and at the same time lit me up.

He slid his hand round the back of my head to hold me close
to him, not allowing me to escape him and kissed me passionately and hungrily.
I kissed him back, my fingers grabbing his hair in need and want. We eventually
parted and I had to gasp in a breath “Wow, I missed you too” I smiled and he
winked.

He laughed and pulled out of the car park “Sam wants to
talk, he’s coming round later” he said with a quick glance “God, I hope he’s
found something” I said optimistically

“I need to talk to you too” he said with a little tremble in
his voice and I frowned “That doesn’t sound good” I laughed nervously “No, well
it’s not great news but you asked for honesty in our relationship so I think
you ought to know” I was worried now and his expression was telling me he was
nervous about his news

“Okay, tell me” I said, needing to hear what was worrying
him “It’s Erm, well Erm…Oh God” he sighed, checking his mirrors to pull into
the traffic “Mason, just tell me. You’re worrying me now” I said anxiously. He
quickly glanced at me “Okay, I’m just gonna say it” he took a deep breath
“Rebecca has a scan on Monday and she wants me to go with her” he winced and my
stomach clenched but I was glad that he had told me. I would have been hurt if
he hadn’t told me and I found out from someone else, especially Rebecca herself;
wouldn’t she have loved that!!

“Okay, thank you for telling me” I said with my chin high in
my determination not to let my pain show.

He glanced at me again “You okay about it?” he asked and I
shrugged “Well, I can’t say I’m happy but it’s your child, so you deserve to be
there too” I said, trying to hold back the heartache that ripped through me at
the thought of him seeing his first child for the first time, it should have
been me and him, not the fuck whore and him.

As if he sensed my thoughts he settled his hand over mine
and grasped it tightly, expertly driving with one hand “I love you Baby and I
promise it’ll be us soon” he said tenderly and I nodded but turned to look
through the window, batting back the tears and refusing to set them free.

Sam arrived a little after 8 O’clock and as he walked in I
couldn’t ascertain from his expression whether he had good news or not. He
gestured for us to sit, so we did. He held a manila file in his hand but didn’t
hand it over and he looked at Mason

“Alex McDowell” he said simply and Mason stiffened and
screwed his face up as though in agony. I sat looking between them. Sam sighed
and nodded “You better update Ava about Alex” he said and Mason frowned but
turned to me

“A couple of months before I met you, Alex worked for me at
the club, he was a doorman. We’d had some complaints about him but to be honest
he seemed like an okay sort of bloke at first; Did his job properly, was polite
to the customers and never had time off. We had a tip off from someone that
Alex was selling coke and E’s to some of the club goers. I had the others keep
an eye on him and it came to my attention that he was giving entrance to
underage drinkers and supplying the underage girls coke in exchange for…” he
glanced at Sam and then looked back at me “For sexual favours” he finished and
I sighed but nodded for him to continue “before I had the chance to have a word
with him he…” Mason looked away and took a deep breath.

He seemed torn up by something and I looked at Sam who just
shook his head slightly. I waited for Mason to carry on and he looked me in the
eye and held me there as he tried again “one night Alex was pretty stoked up on
coke and god knows what else, he let a 14 year old girl in and sold her some
coke for the usual payment. Alex ended up brutally raping her and strangling
her” he closed his eyes with his last words “Oh God!” I breathed. He looked
back at me “She was a good friend’s daughter” he revealed, the pain and guilt
on his face stole my breath and I grasped his hand tightly “It’s my fault she
died” he whispered, agony tearing through him.