In the Wake of the Wind (22 page)

Serafina’s hand slipped to her mouth. She could see by his vulnerable expression that he was being completely honest with her, that he meant every word. Something deep inside her shifted and eased, a tightness she hadn’t even realized was there, as if a wound that had been inflicted a month before was finally healing.

He spoke the truth to her, she was sure of it. She began to wonder how many other times he had spoken the truth and she simply hadn’t believed him. Perhaps Raphael really was right about Aiden—he was an honorable man. And perhaps the difference between holding on to a dream and living in real life was the willingness to accept that dreams could never be fulfilled, whereas life was an endless source of surprise and possibility.

She moved across the room and lightly rested a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe,” she said, meeting his eyes directly, “maybe you’re really not such an awful rogue after all.”

“Well, that’s a relief, considering that you’d made up your mind I was a rogue through and through, thoroughly unscrupulous and without any feelings.” He slanted a glance up at her.

“I had, but offering to rescind our agreement is the most generous thing you could have done. Aiden …” She bit her lip, determined to repay his generosity with her trust. “I think I’d—I think I’d rather stay right here.”

Aiden stared at her, thrown completely off balance. “You would?” he managed to stammer.

“Yes. I haven’t changed my mind about—about the other thing, but I understand all the reasons you asked me to sleep with you in the first place. I don’t want you to be embarrassed by household gossip.”

Aiden rubbed a finger over one eyebrow. “Well, maybe I lied a little. There’s a perfectly good bed next door, and it is common practice for husbands and wives of our social position to have separate bedrooms.” He looked up at her from under half-lowered lids. “Oh, all right. The truth of the matter is that I lied thoroughly and completely to you in order to have my way.”

A little smile crept to Serafina’s lips. She was discovering much to her surprise that she actually liked this side of Aiden. “I know,” she said. “Janie told me that the other room was supposed to have been mine before you changed the arrangements.”

Aiden groaned. “I should have known. Hoisted with my own petard. Caught out for the scoundrel I am.”

“What did you think you’d accomplish by lying to me?” she asked curiously. “You’d already promised not to touch me.”

To her surprise, Aiden actually flushed. “To be perfectly honest, I thought that maybe if I inundated you with my close physical presence night after night you would decide I wasn’t such a poor proposition after all. I was depending on your feminine instincts to kick in, you see.”

“Oh, I see,” she said, not really seeing at all. “Did you decide I didn’t have any? Is that why you changed your mind?”

“Not at all.” Aiden leaned back on his elbow. “I already know your feminine instincts are perfectly intact. I just thought you might look more kindly on me if I gave you your privacy.”

Serafina
looked at him long and hard, suspicion rising fast. “And just how do you know my instincts are intact?” she asked, her voice chilly. “You swore you didn’t touch me that night.”

Aiden burst into laughter. “You are a skeptical creature, aren’t you? I didn’t touch you, other than putting you to bed. Oh, and I did hold you, since you seemed to need holding. But other than that, my dear, you are still a complete virgin.”

He sat up and took her by the hands, pulling her down next to him with a tug, and taken off guard, she landed on the mattress with a soft plop.

“What did you do that for?” she asked breathlessly, finding herself practically nose to nose with him.

“Because I refuse to crane my neck to look up at you a moment longer while we have this discussion.” He brushed a strand of hair off her cheek, his fingers light as a feather.
Serafina
couldn’t help shivering.

“Serafina,
I told you I would never take a woman against her will. I would also never take a woman who wasn’t completely aware of what she was doing.” He flashed a devilish smile at her. “But if you’re still wondering how I’m sure that your instincts are fully operational, I’d be happy to show you.”

“Thank you, but I think not,” she said, inching away from him.
Aiden
may have been away for a month, but the alarming physical effect he had on her hadn’t lessened one iota. Already she felt warm and flushed by his near presence.

“As you wish.” Aiden’s expression suddenly grew serious and he picked up her hands, holding them loosely between his own. “Listen to
me,
sweetheart. Since we’re being completely honest with each other, I won’t deny that I’m powerfully attracted to you. I’m not inclined to pretend otherwise.” He stroked the back of her hands with his thumbs. “But I’m determined that you come to me of your own accord. Anything else would be unsatisfying to both of us. Will you trust me to keep my word?”

Serafina
reluctantly dragged her eyes to his. They blazed into hers, azure fire, his expression intent. “Yes. I trust you,” she croaked, no proof against his fixed, determined gaze. “I do. I told you, I want to be friends.”

“And I want that too, but I also want to be your husband in every sense of the word, even if the thought strikes terror in your heart at the moment. I told you that I’m prepared to wait, but to that end I also need you to trust me when I do touch you. It bothers me when you shrink away.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it,” she said, not knowing how to explain the effect his touch had on her, how frightened she was of what it might lead to. She no more wanted to be impaled now than she had a month ago.

“Hmm. I think the best solution to that problem is if you become more accustomed to being touched. I’d be happy to teach you, but again, you’re going to have to trust me.”

“What—what kind of touching do you have in mind?” she asked nervously.

“It’s actually very simple. I’d like to kiss you, but with the assurance that I’ll go no farther. Do you think you could manage that?”

“You—you want to kiss me?” she said with severe alarm.

“I do, very much, especially after what you did today in arranging that extraordinary welcome for me. I wanted to kiss you then, but I didn’t want to be rebuffed in front of the entire staff. Do you think I might properly thank you now in the privacy of our room?”

Serafina
thought about his request. It wasn’t entirely unreasonable, she decided, although she wasn’t very comfortable with the idea of voluntarily submitting to his kiss. “I suppose I can manage that,” she said, trying hard to be agreeable, since Aiden had been so circumspect about asking.

“Good,” he said, regarding her steadily, but he didn’t move.
Serafina
imagined he must be waiting for her.

She released a long breath, closed her eyes, and screwed her face up, preparing herself for the onslaught.

All she got for her trouble was Aiden’s laughter. “I might as well be kissing a goat’s bottom.”

Her eyes shot open. “A goat’s bottom?” she said, offended.

“Well, yes. A kiss is meant to be enjoyed. If you’d just relax a little, I think we might be able to make this a pleasant experience.” He stroked her cheek. “A kiss,
Serafina,
is a naturally occurring phenomenon. It doesn’t require much beyond two willing parties and a mutual meeting of the mouths. I thought you’d grasped that concept in the woods, although I must confess our kiss in the chapel left something to be desired.”

“What was wrong with our kiss in the chapel?” she asked, thinking that she’d done a fine job with the business.

“For one, you screwed your mouth up just as you did now. It’s hard to do much of anything with. Here, look.” He pursed his lips together as if he was about to whistle.

Serafina
had to smile at his contorted expression. “Yes, I see your point.”

“All right. Now I suggest that you come a little closer so that I can hold on to you. You don’t want to fall over, do you, since I’m likely to fall on top of you?”

She shook her head, absolutely certain she didn’t want that to happen. Aiden held out his arms, and
Serafina
warily moved toward him.

His hands came down to rest on her shoulders, his touch light. He looked into her eyes for a long moment, then picked one hand up and ran a finger down her cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he whispered. “So soft and sweet.”

Something pulsated in Serafina’s chest, a hot thrill of excitement that only grew as his finger traced the line of her jaw and slipped under her chin. A pounding started in her ears as he bent his head toward hers.

His mouth came down with a gentle pressure, his lips moving over hers, so warm, his touch so enticing. Her own lips parted involuntarily under his and her fingers twined of their own accord into his thick hair, sensation flooding through her body, turning her limbs to water. A tiny moan escaped her throat and he pulled her even closer, his arms tightening around her, his mouth opening on hers as he deepened the kiss.

She was drowning, lost, disappearing into mindless pleasure, fire erupting deep in her belly, coursing through her blood like quicksilver. She couldn’t think, could only press harder against his hard body, wanting something more.

An electric shock ran through her as his tongue invaded her mouth, tasting her, his hot breath coming fast against her open mouth and she tentatively responded, touching her tongue to his.

He suddenly pulled away, burying his face in her hair with a groan, his hands moving over her back. “Sweet Christ,
Serafina,”
he murmured. “You’re enough to tempt even a saint, and that I’m surely not.”

Serafina
wriggled out of his grasp, her cheeks on fire, appalled with herself. “I—I don’t know what happened,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to do that…”

Aiden laughed lazily, slanting a look down at her. “I don’t know why not. You did it very nicely.” He rubbed his hands over his face, then gazed up at the ceiling. “Well, that should answer two questions,” he said.

“What questions?” she asked shakily, gripping her hands in her lap.

“That your feminine instincts are entirely operational.” He abruptly stood and turned his back to her, one hand digging into his hair, his breathing still rough. “And that I’m a bloody gentleman. No self-respecting rogue would have stopped things there.”

A little bubble of laughter escaped Serafina’s throat. “Thank you,” she said, meaning it. She knew he could easily have ravished her then and there.

“I should think you would thank me.” He turned around and regarded her with a flash of humor. “I think I’d better leave you before I change my mind and move on to the next lesson.”

Serafina
longed to ask him what the next lesson was, but quickly decided it was a question best left unasked. She’d had enough of a shock for one afternoon. “I should dress for dinner,” she said instead.

“You do that. Pick out something nice. I’m going for a walk—a nice, long walk.”

He cast one last curious look at her, shook his head with a little laugh and left, softly closing the door behind him.

Serafina
buried her face in her hands, her head swimming with confusion.

Elspeth finished her experiments for the day, happily stoppering up the various bottles and piling her notes together. She washed and changed, looking forward to dinner, for she had a prodigious appetite and a chess game to win from Delaware afterwards.

She was also mightily curious to see Aiden, for the chambermaid had told her he’d returned. High time, too. To her way of thinking
Serafina
was spending far too much time with the duke—oh, yes, she knew all about it, she thought darkly, skewering her hairpins firmly into place.

“There’s only trouble that can come from it,” she said over her shoulder to Basil. “Don’t we just know it? Serafina’s reasons for popping over there might be as innocent as the day is long, but she belongs with her husband, and Aiden’s a fool for leaving her alone so long with nothing else to do.”

“Silly man,” Basil squawked in agreement.

“Just so,” Elspeth said with satisfaction. “If matters are going to go differently this time around, Aiden needs to keep his eyes open and his head up. At least
Serafina
has finally started to see that he might have some merit after all, or so she says. Goddess, but she gave me some bad moments there last month, kicking up such a fuss.” She scowled. “Don’t know what got into the girl when all she’s ever wanted is that man. It’s not as if I didn’t do everything in my power to see that she got him. And then what does she do? Practically spits in his face, and who knows why?”

“Bad girl,” Basil crooned lovingly.

“Simply misguided,” Elspeth corrected. “Maybe she expected an exact double for all I know. But never mind, we’re back on the right track. It’s that Charlotte who worries me now—she’ll take anything and twist it to get her own way, just like before, and we both know what a disaster
that
ended up. I’m telling you, the duke had better watch his step all the way around.”

Elspeth dug in a drawer and pulled out a biscuit. “Here you are, dearest. This will have to be your supper, since that dreadful woman won’t allow you at the table. I don’t know why I let
Serafina
talk me into giving Charlotte my special potion. I ought to have doctored it, I really should have done, put stinging nettles into it.”