In the Spotlight (8 page)

“How’re those rewrites coming?” I asked a bit snarkily.

“Oh, great,” Josh said enthusiastically. “I really think I’ve found my voice.”

We lapsed into silence again. Finally, I said, “Well, I think I’m going to go find my sister’s car.”

“I’ll walk with you,” Josh said.

“No, really that’s okay,” I started to say.

Josh interrupted, “I don’t let girls walk alone at night. It’s just not safe.”

“Well…okay. Thanks,” I agreed.

We started walking down the block where I thought Harlow had parked the car. The only problem was, I didn’t seeing it. I stopped under a streetlight and tried to get my bearings.

“You know, I could take you home,” Josh offered. “That way your sister will still have a way home too.”

I laughed rather bitterly in my opinion. “She won’t be going home tonight.”

“Oh,” Josh said. He paused. “I can still take you home. It’s not a problem. I didn’t really want to go to the party anyway.”

Something in his tone irked me. Was anyone this much of a goody goody? I mean, I was like the queen of purity and wholesomeness, and his flawless, good guy act was too much for me. Not that his image was really that squeaky clean. He had the reputation of being something of a player among the cheerleaders, and I had heard that he had a penchant for skipping school. Not exactly hardcore badass, but still not as good as he was being since I’d encountered him.

“Are you seriously going for the knight in shining armor routine? I’m not some damsel in distress that needs to be rescued.”

I frowned at him as I wrapped my arms tighter around myself.

Irritatingly, Josh laughed. “I really didn’t want to go to the party. And I promise I have no desire to rescue you.”

I made an unintelligible noise that sounded something like

‘blergh’, and turned away trying in vain to find Harlow’s car. It was still nowhere to be seen. Sighing, I turned back to Josh. “I guess a ride home would be nice.”

Josh laughed again. “Great,” he said. “My car is this way.”

I followed him down the street with my hands shoved deep inside my pockets. What was it about this guy that tripped me up so much? I was sure I was blushing furiously, and for some reason that made me even madder at Josh.

We got to his car, and he actually opened the door for me. I didn’t know whether or not he was mocking me with the whole chivalrous knight in shining armor thing or if he had just been raised well. As I settled into the passenger seat, I had to admit that it was really nice to have someone do something like that for me.

Josh climbed into the driver seat and got the heat going right away. “So where do you live?” he asked.

I gave him directions, and he pulled out like he knew exactly where he was going. Apparently, he was even good at navigating a town he had only lived in for six months. I still got lost occasionally. How annoying.

My house was still blazing with light when we pulled up.

“My parents like to wait up for me too,” Josh commented.

“Oh, I doubt that they’re waiting for me,” I said. “They trust me. My dad just likes to read late, and Hayley is probably having another sleepover.” We sat in silence for a few really unbearably long moments before I said, “Well, thanks. See you at school.”

Josh reached out and put a hand on my arm before I could open the door. “Hey, wait a second,” he said.

“What?” I snapped without meaning to.

“What exactly is your problem with me?” Josh asked, pulling his hand away so fast I thought it might be retractable.

“Nothing,” I sighed. “I don’t have a problem with you.”

“Then what was all that crap at rehearsal about?” Josh persisted.

“You aren’t Kyle,” I blurted.

Josh was silent for a long time. “So you aren’t any different than the rest of them. I thought you were special,” he said. There was such disappointment in his voice that it actually hurt and I had no idea why. When he didn’t say anything else, I got out of the car.

He waited until I got safely inside.

“I’m home!” I yelled, and quickly hurried upstairs. I didn’t feel like seeing anyone. The hurt in Josh’s voice made me feel terrible. I wasn’t even really irritated with him anymore. And yet I definitely hadn’t been nice to him.

Pulling off my party clothes, I dumped them in the hamper.

They reeked of cigarette smoke. As I gathered my pajamas so I could head to the bathroom to shower, it occurred to me that Harlow was the one I should be annoyed with since she’d abandoned me at a strange college party.

Noise from Hayley’s room told me I’d been right about the sleepover. As I washed away the stench of my very brief interlude at the party, I found I couldn’t wash away my unsettled feelings about Josh. It took me a long time to fall asleep that night.

Chapter Eight

The next morning, I actually felt relieved to report for my extra long shift at Jimmy’s Red Hots. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Josh had said, and at least work would distract me. But I made sure to bring plenty of extra homework just in case things were slow.

The first hour was ridiculously slow, so I read some of my history homework for the next week, as well as tried to get a handle on my fairy tale assignment. No reason to leave it until the last minute. My concentration was non-‐-existent, though, because all I could think about was Josh saying that he thought I was special.

Okay, he’ d been saying that I was no better than all the other drama kids giving him a hard time, but he’d implied that at some point he thought I was special. What I couldn’t figure out was why I was so bothered with Josh no longer thinking I was special.

Around eleven, the lunch crowd started coming in, and the next two hours passed in a blur. At one o’clock, the bell over the door jangled and a herd of guys entered. I recognized a few of them from school. They were on the basketball team, so naturally I started looking for Josh. Sure enough there he was. Our eyes met and I looked away quickly. Talk about awkward.

“Welcome to Jimmy’s Red Hots,” I said in the most pleasant voice I could manage. I made it through all the guys’ orders fine, but when Josh got to the counter, I found that I still couldn’t look him in the eye. “What can I get you?” I muttered.

When I peeked at Josh, he had a serious, perplexed expression on his face. “Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey,” I replied even softer. “What would you like to eat?”

“Actually I’d really like to talk to you. Can you take a break or something?” He asked.

I nodded. “Just let me tell Jimmy so he can have Madison cover,” I said. As I rushed into the kitchen, it barely registered that I was hoping to rush off with a guy who inspired massive irritation in me. “Jimmy, I’m taking my break,” I called as I grabbed my coat.

“Be back in half an hour.” Jimmy nodded.

Madison peeked through the window. “Ooo, he’s hot,” she said, impressed. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said, rolling my eyes at Madison.

“He’s the male lead in the musical.”

“Well, yum,” Madison said as I pulled on my mittens.

Josh held the door open for me and we stepped out into the dim February light. The day had grown overcast and it was starting to snow as we headed toward the university campus.

“Listen, I’m really sorry about yesterday,” I said shoving my mittened hands deep into my pockets.

Josh chuckled. “That’s actually what I was going to say.”

“Why would you apologize? You didn’t do anything wrong.” We turned down the path that led to the theater building.

“Let’s just say, I don’t think I behaved in a way that would’ve made my mom proud,” he replied. “Anyway, apology accepted.”

We kept walking. The falling snow gave everything a hushed, peaceful quality that put me at ease. I wondered what it would be like to walk in the snow with my boyfriend, should I ever manage to get one. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t wondering about Kyle either.

“I’ve always wanted to go to school here,” I sighed contentedly.

Josh nodded. “I can understand that. It’s a great school. I sort of want to go here.”

“Really?” I asked surprised.

“What’s so shocking about that?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It just seems that a guy like you would want to go away to school.”

“A guy like me?” There was that tense disappointment again.

“Yeah, a guy with so much talent. I’m sure you’ll be scouted by some pretty big schools.”

Josh smiled a small smile. “This is a pretty big school.”

“I guess I don’t think of it that way since I sort of grew up here,” I laughed.

“Your mom is a professor right?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, how’d you know that?” I asked.

“My mom’s a professor in the political science department,”

Josh explained. “She and your mom have collaborated on some projects this year.”

“I didn’t know that.” The snow was really coming down now. “I really need to get back. My break is almost over.”

“So, thanks for coming out with me,” Josh said. “Are we good? Friends?”

“Yeah,” I said with a small grin. “Friends.”

As we headed back to Jimmy’s Red Hots, I almost believed that being friends with Josh would be enough.

Chapter Nine

I stared out the window at the gray day. The clouds hung low and heavy, threatening yet more snow. Ms. Bard had stepped out to make copies or something like that, leaving us to our own devices more or less. People were mainly just talking quietly, which made us a really good class of kids. But then again it wasn’t like there was anything exciting to do in five minutes. I should have been doing my reading for English since we had to be through all of
The Grapes of Wrath
by Friday, but instead I was just staring out the window mindlessly.

“Hey, what if we all practice the opening number?”

Kevin, a slightly geeky, massively overenthusiastic, freshman was standing next to his desk looking around the room hopefully. You had to admire the kid for wanting to use his time productively, but everyone else just looked at him lazily. Why would we stage a rehearsal when Ms. Bard was just going to torture us through a perfectly blocked number later? Getting no response beyond the blank stares of our classmates, Kevin sat down dejectedly.

And we went back to nothingness. My contemplation of the clouds was going to put me to sleep if I wasn’t careful. That would be massively embarrassing. I mean, what if I drooled or something?

So, I turned my attention back to the classroom. Kaylee was across the room doing just what I had been worried about. Except when Kaylee slept, she never looked gross or snored or slept with her mouth open or her face in a puddle of drool. Kaylee looked like she was practicing the role of Sleeping Beauty.

Josh was studying. He was reading the English book that I should have been reading. At the exact moment I was watching him, he glanced up at me, grinned, and gave me a little wink. I blushed and shifted my eyes away from him.

Claudia had her phone out, and I could only assume she was texting. That was all Claudia ever did. But who could she possibly be texting with such fury? All the people she usually texted furiously or passionately or excitedly were in our class. My breath caught. Maybe she had a new boyfriend, which would mean…

Kyle was free. I could barely contain my excitement. Trying not to get ahead of myself, I frantically tried to think of a reason to glance at Kyle. He sat three rows back and four rows over. Looking at him typically required me to move my whole body, or contort my neck into weird positions. Not exactly inconspicuous.

Then suddenly a little spitball landed on Kevin’s neck. Just a little wad of paper stuck to the back below his hairline. Kevin brushed it off as if it were no more than a fly. I turned back toward the way it had come. Kyle and Adam had drawn their desks closer together, and were snickering as they prepared another spitball.

This one was a little bigger and landed on the back of Kevin’s sweater. He didn’t seem to notice, so Kyle made another one. I watched as Kyle did it again and again. Adam egged him on, but Kyle seemed to think he was amazingly clever for being able to create a spitball garden on Kevin’s shirt without him noticing.

There were eight and I wondered what was wrong with me. I didn’t think that Kyle should be shooting spitballs at Kevin, who was a really nice kid. And yet I just sat there and watched him get set up for humiliation.

Adam tore a huge piece of paper out of his notebook, and wadded it in his hand. I watched as he stuck it in his mouth. He pulled it out dripping with spit. Kyle leaned back, arms crossed on his chest, and nodded approvingly at Adam. The launch seemed to be in slow motion. If this were a cheesy teen movie, I would have jumped out of my seat, also in slow motion, and pull Kevin out of the way to show my shining character as well as my development as a person. It would also have been the pivotal moment when I realized what a complete jerk Kyle truly was, and my heart would have closed to him permanently.

Instead, I watched as the spitball landed with a juicy plop smack on the top of Kevin’s head. His face immediately colored with embarrassment, and he reached up to brush it off. As he was wiping it off, another spitball landed on his neck. People were paying attention now, and Kyle and Adam were pelting Kevin with a mound of spitballs to the uproarious laughter of our class. Kevin stood and stumbled as he tried to get away from the attack. I began to get sick in the pit of my stomach. Why wasn’t I doing anything?

“Enough,” Josh commanded. Kyle and Adam stopped, surprised to have someone stand up to them. Josh crossed the room, extended Kevin his hand, and helped him up off the floor.

He was about to say something else to Kyle and Adam but the classroom door opened and Ms. Bard came back in.

“All right class,” she said, clapping her hands. “Everyone back to your seats.”

Josh brushed the remaining spitballs off Kevin’s back before heading to his seat. As he passed my desk, he caught my eye and shook his head slightly. That’s when I realized that he’d been watching me watch Kyle and Adam. He had known what was going on, but the difference had been that he’d found the strength to put an end to it.