In the Silks (12 page)

“I feel like you’re trying to get away from here as fast as you can Henry,” Annie said as she filled the sink with soapy water.

“What? No, don’t be stupid. I just promised. Just like I promised to help you fix the desk, right?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever Henry. Listen, can I be serious with you for a minute, and then I swear I will leave you be. You don’t even have to respond to anything that I say.”

Henry braced himself. He thought he might be sick. What could she possibly have to say? And why couldn’t she have done this before dinner.  He was really starting to feel queasy.

“Okay, so I just want you to know that I love you no matter what. You’re an amazing brother, an amazing uncle. I just want you to be happy. And I just want you to know I’m always here for you. Never be afraid to talk to me. I would never throw you under the bus you know?”

Henry had put his head down. Annie had to duck hers down to look him in the eye.

“I know Annie, but where is all of this coming from?” Henry asked her. He wanted to take a step further and ask her if she had been talking to Pat. But he wasn’t sure that he wanted the answer to that. And if she hadn’t heard anything from Pat, bringing it up would surely send up red flags.

“It’s not coming from anywhere. You just seem so distant lately. I just want to check in with you.” She smiled at him and flung bubbles off her hand onto his face.

Henry reached into the sink scooped up a handful of suds and plopped them down on the top of her head. Then he made a bee line for the front door. He yelled back, “I love you. Tell Louis I love him and I’ll call him in a few days to make plans.”

Way to dodge, Henry.

On the way home, Henry thought about what Annie had said. He thought about that nightmare he’d had. He thought about Ryan. He needed to see him. Maybe he could explain things. He needed some closure. He needed to apologize. Maybe he just needed to see his face again. Before he could rethink it, he was no longer heading in the direction of his apartment; he was going to Ryan’s. He wasn’t sure how this would play out but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stay away.

~~~~~

Ryan had had a shit day to say the least. He woke up late, which meant he was late for therapy, which in turn made him late for a meeting. His mother had called and laid the guilt on nice and thick, over anything and everything that she could think of. It was just one of those days. He had run to the grocery store on the way home to grab a few things and the bag ripped when Ryan tried to light a cigarette and walk the cobblestone path simultaneously. He tripped and grabbed the wall of a building for support and the bag somehow tore and that was that. He swore around the lit butt hanging from his mouth as he tried to pick the fallen items up and stuff them into the other bag. He wanted to get home and have a drink, smoke a bowl, then go to bed.

Ryan was just opening the door when his phone began to ring. It was Shay. He hadn’t spoken to her since the party, so he wasn’t going to ignore the call. He maneuvered through the door with his overstuffed grocery bag, the phone tucked between his chin and neck, and his mail and keys in his other hand. Using his foot, he pushed the door behind him but didn’t bother to turn around and check that it closed all the way. Ryan walked over to the counter and dropped everything on top of it; they talked while he put things away.

“Hey chickie, how’s it going?”

“It’s shit. I went on the date from hell last night.”

“Again?”

“Har-har very funny. Ugh, he had the balls to ask ‘so you’re a dancer huh? I bet you’re really flexible.” Shay said in her most manly voice possible, “Gross.”

Ryan laughed and shoved a giant tub of yogurt in the fridge. “Well, you are really flexible.”

“Ry, you’re all kinds of funny today, aren’t ya?”

“Sorry, I’m having a shitty day myself.”

“Oh yeah, what’s up? Does it have to do with the Adonis?”

Until that moment Ryan hadn’t wanted to admit to himself that part of his grumpiness was in fact due to Henry, how he’d just left the other night. Like Ryan was a one-off, which he wouldn’t admit because it made him sound entirely too needy and pathetic.

“His name is Henry and no. I was just running late and had to do things I didn’t want to do
and
had to deal with my mother.”

“Yikes, that’s always fun. Chill out about your mom, she’s awesome. And you know, she only guilts you because you totally feed into it.” Shay laughed through the phone.

“Yeah I guess I do, don’t I?”

“Totally. Shit! I had wanted to have a nice long talk with you but I have a call coming in about an audition. I miss you and I want deets on Henry slash Adonis. But promise you’ll call me tomorrow after like five.”

“Promise, love you.”

“Love you, too.”

With that Ryan clicked the phone off and went into the bathroom to take a shower. As he washed away the lousy day he thought more about the situation with Henry. He was pissed, but did he really have the right to be? Maybe Henry left because he was scared. No, fuck that, he still could at least text him or call. Ryan did not like how he felt. He wondered if Henry’s decision to leave was completely arbitrary or had there been something that Ryan was missing? Ryan mulled the thoughts over throughout his shower.

He had initially planned to have a drink and smoke a bowl and go to bed after that. But when he turned on his music, he began to scroll his play lists and stopped on one of his favorites. It was one that he liked to rehearse to so he decided he wanted some time in the silks. That always relaxed him. So he went to the kitchen and poured himself a double shot of vodka, then went to his room to grab his stash. He only had two more joints rolled, he took them both and a lighter. Dropping his towel on the bed and going back to the living room he turned the volume up high on the iPod dock, lit his joint and took a few hits before reaching for the silks.

Chapter 10

H
ENRY could hear the music before the elevator even stopped. He got off and started for the door. His steps slowed as he came closer and the music grew louder. He kept his feet moving forward somehow. He approached the door to the loft and hesitated when he noticed the door cracked open slightly, light peeking through. He raised his hand and rapped his knuckles against the door. It slowly opened with the force, just a bit though. Henry hesitated, and after a beat, called out to Ryan. He got no answer but the music was so loud that he wasn’t surprised. He pushed the door open some more, then stood in the doorway, frozen by what he saw. High up in the air, Ryan was hanging with his back to the door; the music so loud there was no way he knew anyone was there. The music was
Nine Inch Nails, “Something I Can I Never Have.”
Henry could see subtle movements from his body; his legs wrapped in the blue silk. He was naked otherwise.

Henry started moving toward him, not bothering to turn and close the door, make his presence known, or check for anyone else in the loft. The closer he got, the more his heartbeat accelerated. He couldn’t say why, but there was something about what he was seeing. Something he was missing, the music, he smelled the aroma of pot in the air. He was mentally logging everything he was seeing and hearing. Henry could see Ryan’s shoulders and head moving, but otherwise, he just dangled there. It never even entered Henry’s mind to call out to him; he just kept moving closer to him. Henry exhaled a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. When he was several feet away, he shifted so that he was in front of Ryan, whose head was just above his own. When his gaze moved further up Ryan’s body, his breath hitched, and he felt lightheaded. His groin tightened immediately and body heated from the inside out.

Ryan was hanging upside down naked. Well defined, hard muscles flexing, he was jerking off. Eyes closed and biting his lower lip, his heavy cock in one hand and the other cradling his balls, he was stroking himself slowly from base to tip. Running his thumb over the slit, Ryan’s eyes never opened, and Henry’s never closed. Henry studied Ryan’s movements learning his pattern, what he liked. Seeing how Ryan brought himself pleasure suddenly seemed like his top priority.

The hand cupping Ryan’s sac snaked back, rubbing his fingers over that small area behind his balls and continuing on to dip into the crease of his ass. From his position, Henry couldn’t see his fingers reach their final destination. Ryan’s body curled inward slightly as he reached to dip his fingers into his own ass. He pulled his hand back, rubbed those same fingertips over the head of his erection covering them with pre-cum as he did, and then slid them back the same route they had just traveled.

Henry was sure he had stopped breathing for a few seconds there. His fists clenched at his sides, he tried to remain silent. He knew what he was doing was wrong, and he did feel kind of pervy but fuck it if this was not the most erotic thing he had ever seen. The only thing that could have made this any better is if he could reach out and touch Ryan. Walk over and grab those damn silks and pull Ryan’s body close to him. He imagined having Ryan low enough that his cock was aimed directly at Henry’s mouth. He could wrap that silk around his wrists and control how Ryan’s dick slid in and out of his mouth. If he was naked in this fantasy, Ryan could suck him off at the same time. Hanging there, swinging back and forth, Henry gliding in and out of his mouth.

Henry was pulled out of his fantasy by an erotic gasp. Ryan. God, he didn’t know if he could handle this. He was so hard he was sure that he was going to pop the button of his jeans and send it flying straight toward Ryan, and then he would fuck this amazing scene up. No. Henry rubbed a palm over the tightness of his jeans, trying to calm himself. Not so much, if anything, he’d made it so much worse. He bit down hard on the inside of his mouth until he had the faint taste of iron on his palate.

Ryan continued his slow strokes while his other hand played at his backside. Starting at the base, squeeze, glide up, and circle his fist over the head, thumb lingering for a second, and then back down and over again. Henry could see the knuckles of Ryan’s other hand moving in a rhythm that reminded him of playing an instrument. Watching them move up and down. Ryan’s shoulders were flushed, and his face was deep red, still he never stopped, never opened his eyes. He was still biting his lip and smiling. His perfect white teeth clamped over the corner of his bottom lip. Henry wanted to be the reason he bit his lip like that. Ryan moved his hand forward giving his balls a squeeze and then brought it back to his ass. He repeated this over and over. He increased the speed of his strokes. Now Henry could hear his moans over the music as the song began to reach its climax so did Ryan, as if he had timed it that way. Ryan increased his efforts. Henry could see the look on his face, his mouth open, his chest rising and falling. The muscles of his abdomen closing in like tightening coils, beads of sweat rolling back into his hair. As Ryan went over the edge, Henry moved closer, so he was directly under him trying to make himself part of the intimate moment; he wanted to savior the vision, arched his neck to get a better view. When Ryan came, his body began to jerk and make him sway slightly. Sending creamy white streams much like the silks Ryan was wrapped in ribboning down to hit Henry on the cheek and shoulder. Henry didn’t flinch, didn’t move, except for the twitching of his swollen cock in his jeans.

Ryan opened his eyes and tilted his head back to see Henry standing there looking up at him with cum on his face and shoulder; Ryan was so startled that he flailed momentarily and began to lose the grip his legs held on the material. He reached up to grab hold with one arm, to steady himself.

“What the fuck, Henry! Do you know how to knock? Jesus!” Ryan swore as he finished untangling himself and slid down the fabric he walked away without looking back at Henry and went to the bathroom, coming back with a towel. Ryan wrapped it around himself before coming back. He looked pissed. Henry was still standing there staring only now he looked at least a little embarrassed.

Ryan raised his eyebrows and threw his arms out to his sides, waiting for an explanation. Henry didn’t know what to say because while he was embarrassed, he was also embarrassingly hard and was at a loss of words. Henry stumbled toward a response. “I-shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair and had the good sense to hang his head. Ryan looked him up and down, and his gaze lingered on Henry’s lower half. It took Henry a minute to catch on.

Ahhh yes, the raging hard on.

Henry shifted from one foot to the other, not that that was going to make any difference. Ryan bit his lip and shook his head, walked over to Henry and unwrapped the towel from his waist. Their gazes locked, and Henry leaned toward him. “Wipe the cum off your face,” Ryan said and tossed the towel at him, as he walked off toward the bedroom.

Henry was sitting on one of the bar stools holding the towel when Ryan came out of his room. He was wearing black sweatpants. He managed to make even sweats look sexy.

“Why are you here, Henry?” Ryan asked while retrieving his ashtray and lighter then stood on the opposite side of the kitchen island.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Did you lose your phone?”

“Umm, no. I wanted to see you too I guess.”

Ryan scoffed, “You were in a hurry to get away from me not too long ago.”

Henry shook his head. “That’s not true.”

“Really? Okay, I must be confused then.”

“I’m sorry. I felt like an asshole.”

“Why is that exactly?”

“Well…you do have a boyfriend.”

“So you believe that I would ask you to stay with me and have sex with you, while I’m with someone else?” Ryan said and folded his arms across his chest.

“I’m not saying-I mean it’s not like-. Fuck. I’m not judging you okay. I knew about him and still did it.”

“You know what, you’re right, you are an asshole. We broke up. I wouldn’t have done shit with you if I was in a relationship. But you clearly would knowingly hook up with someone in a relationship. And you also clearly think so little of me to believe that I would do that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Henry asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

“Why didn’t you ask?” Ryan shot back at him.

Henry shrugged, not having an answer. He knew that he was red-faced now, he could feel it. He did actually have an answer just not one he was willing to share; that he’d wanted him badly enough to play oblivious.

Ryan scratched at his beard; it appeared to be only a few days old, no more. Henry liked it, a lot.

“Right. Listen Henry, despite what you think, I am not a fuck and run kinda guy. I don’t do random hook ups or closet cases.”

Henry grimaced, “I am not- what makes you think...” He tried to respond, feeling defeated.

Ryan cut him off with a shake of his head and his next words. “Let me clarify, yes we hooked up rather quick, but it wasn’t like you were a stranger, right?”

“Right, I guess.”

They sat there for several minutes in silence. Ryan lit a cigarette and took a few drags, watching Henry but not saying anything. Henry was just about to stand up to leave, at a loss for words. Not sure what he could or should say because he knew Ryan was right. He felt like such an asshole. He wished he could start over, hit fucking rewind.
Maybe.

Henry steeled his resolve. “Ryan, can we start over? I’m sorry for making assumptions. I won’t apologize for wanting you though, never. I fucked up, but I’d like another chance. Is that possible?”

Ryan was quiet for so long that Henry did get up from his seat prepared to leave fighting the boulder sized lump in his throat.

“I guess I could start over. But can you not just walk in my house next time!”

Henry fought a smirk, on the inside he was doing a happy dance like a child that was just told they were going to Disney World. “Again, I apologize. This time for invading your privacy. The door wasn’t actually closed and I didn’t think that you could hear me over the music. I guess that’s beside the point, huh?  But can I say one more thing?”

Ryan gave him a curt nod.

“That was by far, the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life. I’m not sure how I managed to not come in my pants.”

Ryan bit his bottom lip and smiled. That was going to be his undoing without a doubt.