In The Belly Of The Bloodhound (4 page)

Next there would be a slight pause, and I would come in at the last line, the hook, as we performers call it. Then on to the next verse, which also serves as the chorus…

Landlord, fill the Flowing Bowl until it doth run over, Landlord, fill the Flowing Bowl until it doth run over, For tonight ‘tis merry I’ll be,

For tonight ‘tis merry I’ll be,

For tonight ‘tis merry I’ll be…

Tomorrow I’ll be sober!

That gets a laugh, as does the next verse…

Here’s to the man who drinks water pure and goes to bed quite sober,

Here’s to the man who drinks water pure and goes to bed quite sober.

He falls as the leaves do fall,

He falls as the leaves do fall…

He’ll die before October!

Back to the chorus again, and with each verse, I draw out the pause longer and longer before the last line for the best comic effect. Now to the maid who steals a kiss…

Here’s to the maid who steals a kiss and runs to tell her mother,

She’s a foolish, foolish lass,

She’s a foolish, foolish lass, She’s a foolish, foolish lass…For she’ll not get another!

There are cries of[_ “Hear! Hear!”_] from the younger men, who look across to meet the eyes of the young women seated with their parents, and then it’s on to the last verse…

Here’s to the maid who steals a kiss and stays to have another,

She’s a boon to all mankind,

She’s a boon to all mankind…

And here I let the pause go on seemingly forever, till at last I put aside my concertina, puff out my belly and grab it with both hands, and sing out the last line…

...For soon she’ll be a mother!

There are roars of laughter and admonishing fingers waved in the faces of young women by the fathers and mothers of same. From the hot glances I see cast around the room twixt the young men and young women, however, I don’t think their warnings are gonna do much good in the end.

One more chorus, which fairly shakes the rafters, a restatement of the melody on the fiddle, a bit of a dance, a bow, and off.

As always, when I’m between sets in these taverns, I don the apron and help serve the crowd. They are getting more customers because of me being there, and the landladies are glad of the help and it puts them on my side. Plus, I get some more tips that way. All I have to do is dodge the more rascally hands and all is well.

Because the crowd was jolly and the money good, I had planned to do another night, in spite of my desire to get to Boston as quickly as possible, but events of that evening changed my mind on that.

For when I got back to my room, I noticed that the door opened out into the hall, so I couldn’t put my wedges under to secure it. There was a crude lock and I was given a key, so I chided myself for being overly concerned about the door—Hey,[_ this is a respectable house, you big baby—and_] prepared for bed. Soon I’m in my nightshirt and under the covers, and after knocking off a quick prayer for the safety of those friends of mine who might still be alive and the salvation of those who ain’t, I curl up and drift off to sleep, thinking amorous and, by the standards of almost any religion that I know of, highly impure thoughts of Jaimy.

In the past I have noticed that when I am suddenly startled, I feel the muscles above my ears tighten, and I have always felt that that was the animal in me trying to prick up its ears…and it was happening now and it brought me quickly up out of sleep.[_ Was that the lock rattling?_] I turned over on my back and my eyes popped open just as a hand came across my mouth and I saw the landlord leaning over me, clad only in nightshirt and cap.

“Shush, shush, now dearie. We’re just going to have a little fun,” he said. “Shush, now…”

I figured he was aiming to get a little more entertainment out of his entertainer, but I also reckoned he wasn’t gonna get it. I jerked my head to the side just enough to get my mouth clear of his hand and then bit down[_ hard_] on the finger I felt on my cheek. He cried out in pain and jerked his hand from my jaws, and I screeched out, “Help, help, help!” And anyone who has ever heard me bellow out an order on a ship knows that for my size, I can really shout.

I succeeded in rousing the house, or at least I got up old Mother Willendorfer, who came charging into the room in her own nightdress and cap, with fire in her eye and a frying pan in her hand, and the landlord wailed, “Now, Mother, I was just seein’ if she was settled in right.” But she wasn’t having any of that and she swung her frying pan up alongside his head with a mighty[_ boooonnng_] and he went careening out the door and she got him again and he tumbled down the stairs to the great hilarity of those who still sat about the fire in the great room.

I ran to the top of the stairs with my shiv in my hand, my nightdress billowing about me, my hair all undone and looking a sight, I know.

“Well struck, Madam!” sang out the residents of the inn, who were pouring out of their own rooms in various states of undress, and who plainly did not have a very high opinion of either the landlord’s generosity or his character, and adding, “Let’s have another for the cheap bastard, him who won’t fill a pint up to the proper top! And another for the poor girl! Oh, the poor thing!”

The poor thing herself continued to watch the mayhem in astonishment. The unfortunate Landlord Willendorfer was now on his hands and knees, bum in the air, and his missus gave him a swat there, too, then succeeded in kicking him moaning and groaning back to their quarters, where I am sure he did not pass a very pleasant night. I wondered what had gone on in his mind when he planned his little visit with me. Did he really think I’d just go[_ tee-hee_] and comply with his wishes? Men, I swear…

Later, when all is quiet, I’m thinking that maybe in light of what happened with the now lumpy-headed and very sorry landlord, I should not have sung that “Jolly Coachmen” song, for perhaps it might have given him the wrong notion as to my own character, him figuring me to be free and easy in my ways. Which I surely am, in some ways, but not in all. Still, the song was not[_ that_] bad, considering the words to some I know. Tucked deep in my seabag I still have the book[_ Laugh and Be Fat_] that I bought back in Ireland, which is filled with the awfullest, most gross and foul jokes and songs in the world, all of which used to send both me and Mairead Delaney into fits and howls of uncontrollable laughter back in my cabin on the[_ Emerald_] during that time she sailed with me.[_ Dear Mairead, you of the flaming red hair and fiery spirit, I do hope you and Ian are well and happy…_]

Note to self: Never, never again sleep in a room that cannot be locked from the inside. And maybe lay off the naughty songs when you don’t know the lay of the land. So resolved, and so back to bed.

Star
log, Nov. 30. 05:00. Under way on Course 090. Weather clear, winds fair and from the southwest. Making good time. Bound for Chatham.

And so it went, from Chatham to Eastham, from Wellfleet to Provincetown, and, on a terrific, tearing beam reach, from Provincetown across Cape Cod Bay to Green Harbor. Thence to Scituate and then, on the next day, into Boston Harbor.

I played in each of those towns, and in each made money, and all in all, my voyage around the Cape was most pleasant. I could happily do this for a long time, plying the musical trade I have learned, seeing places I have never seen before, meeting good people and bringing them a good time, but winter’s about to set in, and I must find out what’s happening at the Home for Little Wanderers and what’s up with Jaimy, and what is to be my own fate as well, so I press on.

I anchored this last night in the lee of one of the many islands that dot Boston Harbor. I made myself a nice dinner and ate it, then sat sipping my wine and watching the sunset. No black clouds, neither in the sky nor in my mind. This journey has been good for me, I reflect, putting my hand on the tiller of my lovely[_ Star._] In a way, a very small way, to be sure, I am again Tonda-lay-o, Queen of the Ocean Sea.

Tomorrow, Boston.

The coast seems to be clear. Having left the[_ Morning Star_] in the care of my newfound coxswain, Jim Tanner, I’m peeking around the corner of a warehouse and peering up and down Boston’s Union Street, but no, I don’t see anything that looks like a British soldier, sailor, officer, or spy, so I continue watchfully on my way down to my intended destination, that destination being the office of Ezra Pickering, Esquire. Before I left the[_ Star,
] I had gone down into the cabin and changed into my old black school dress, the one I had once so proudly worn as a student at the Lawson Peabody School for Young Girls. Well,[
sometimes_] so proudly worn, that is—there was that time when Mistress Pimm stripped it from my back for bringing shame and disgrace to her school, and I was put in serving-girl gear in punishment for my crimes against ladyhood. Ah, yes, those good old golden school days…

I also donned my mantilla, the black lace one that Randall Trevelyne gave me that Christmas at Dovecote, and wrapped it around my head, shoulders, and face for both warmth and disguise. It is a cold day and there is, after all, a hefty reward out for my capture. I wonder if they’ve gotten to Boston yet with their damned posters. I haven’t seen any, but that doesn’t mean there ain’t some around.

I go through the Haymarket Square, past Faneuil Hall, then go right onto Union Street.

Was it only the Christmas before last that Randall gave me this shawl? It seems like a century ago, that—Ah,[_ here we are…_]

Damn!
Ezra’s door is locked! Where the hell could he be?
p.
Hmmm…I’m
thinking he’s probably in court, today being Monday and him being a lawyer and all. Well, I can’t stay around here—too suspicious looking, a lone female hanging about the streets—so I’ll walk up to Court Street and see if I can catch him there. Shouldn’t be any danger lurking in an American courthouse, ‘cept maybe from that swine Constable Wiggins, who for certain would still enjoy getting his piggy paws around my blameless neck.

I start back up in that direction and get over to State Street, looking about me with fondness on this town where I washed up two years ago and which I’ve grown to love. I had some of the best of times here, as well as some of the worst, and it is here on this soil that I have made some of my finest and truest friendships. Ah, well, enough of that…

I trudge up State—oh,[_ and there’s The Pig. Ah, how I would love to stop in to see Maudie and…no, not yet. Careful now, girl, you’ve no wish to dance your last dance at the end of a rope_] —and step onto Court Street and there’s that hateful jail of which I have no fond memories whatsoever, having once spent a
very
uncomfortable night there, and there’s the courthouse where I was tried and convicted, and there…

And there, from that same courthouse, comes a chattering gaggle of women. I know from the brightness of their dress and the amount of rouge and powder on their faces, they are Mrs. Bodeen’s girls, once again having got into trouble with Wiggins and once again being released from custody—after a suitable bribe was paid, of course. They are followed shortly down the stairs by the plump form of Ezra Pickering, Attorney at Law and Clerk of the Corporation of Faber Shipping, Worldwide. And my dear friend and protector, as well. Having done his duty for Mrs. Bodeen and her girls, he is plainly headed back to his office, his sweet little half smile still in place, as always. Oh,[_ Ezra, how good it is to see you again!_]

I keep on walking toward him, my head down and my veil carefully tucked about my lower face. As we draw near, he doffs his hat and murmurs, “Good day, Miss,” but instead of nodding in return, I whip around to link my arm in his and commence walking in step with him.

“So, Ezra,” I say, “and what is the state of Faber Shipping, Worldwide, then?”

He is ever the cool one. Though I could feel his arm tighten as I slipped mine in his, he does not even break stride.

“Ah, Jacky. So good to see you. Or part of you,” he says, gazing at my eyes above the veil. “Are you cold?”

“No, Ezra,” I say, “but there[_ is_] a bit of a problem.” He sighs and pats my hand. “Of course.”

We get back to his office, I doff my mantilla, we joyously embrace, and then I lay it all out before him—my time on the[_ Wolverine,
] the taking of the prizes, including the[
Emerald,_] the buccaneering, the eventual loss of my ship, my own capture, the great battle, and my escape over the ocean back to here.

“Astounding. Absolutely astounding,” he says when I am done. He shakes his head in wonder. “So the charge is piracy?”

I nod. “Aye. And a few others. I think they are especially miffed at my taking the[_ Emerald_] without asking permission.”

“You are probably right in thinking that. And[_ miffed_] is hardly the word. The British Lion does not like having his nose tweaked,” says Ezra, “particularly by a young girl barely halfway through her teens.”

I look down at my hands in contrition. “I know, Ezra, that I tend to be a bit impulsive at times, but it all seems so[_ reasonable_] at the time I do these things, and so unreasonable when everyone looks back at what happened and what I did.”

“Well, I must say I expected nothing less of you, given your nature. But since you are quite obviously guilty of the crimes with which you are charged, we cannot fight this in any court, we can only contrive to hide you till this all blows over, if it ever does. You are sure Lord Nelson is dead?”

“Yes. It was the last signal I saw as I sailed out of range. I’m sure that both the Royal Navy and the country itself are devastated. For a little man, lacking an arm, one eye, and, sometimes, common sense, he was much loved by all who knew him.”

“I’m sure. England’s joy at Napoleon’s fleet being destroyed and the homeland being saved from invasion would be severely mitigated by news of his death,” says Ezra. He rises from his chair and clasps his hands behind him as he paces the floor, thinking.[_ Good Ezra, keep on thinking and get me out of this mess._] “However, we can turn this to our advantage,” he continues. “There are three British warships in the harbor right now…”