In the Arms of a Pirate (A Sam Steele Romance Book 2) (37 page)

*

No, no she
wasn’t all right, and she’d tell him soon. For now, she just needed to hold him, feel him in her arms, and know he was real. He was alive.

She pried her fingers from the cage and set it down, whispering, “Thank you for saving my life.” Then she came to her feet and unable to hold back any longer, charged into Aidan’s arms.

He flinched, hissed through his teeth. Sarah leapt back. Her eyes widened when she saw the blood that had seeped through his shirt.

“You’re hurt!”

“Only a little.” He stepped out of reach before she could poke at the wound. “The shot only grazed me.”

“You were shot?” Her knees wobbled. God, it was exactly as she’d feared.

“Grazed,” he corrected.

Grazed, as though that somehow made it better. As though it lessened what could have happened. She shook her head, caught the blood on his hands, peered closer and gasped. “Oh, your hands.”

“They’re fine, Sarah.”

“Fine?” she accused.

“They will be. At the moment, it feels as though rats are gnawing on them.” His eyes held hers. “How are you not hurt?” he asked, no doubt to distract her from his wounds. “With what’s left of the berth…”

“It was Carracks.”

“Carracks?”

“He was rattling his cage, making noise. I knew he was afraid. I was under the bed like you’d asked but it was terrifying. I had no way of knowing if you were hurt or alive and I—” She choked back the sobs, knowing if she started she’d never stop. “I’d no sooner come out from under the bed when the shot blasted through the cabin.”

He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I was standing right above when it happened. I’ve never been so scared. And then the cannon was blocking the hatch so I couldn’t get to you and then your father was there…”

He lowered his hands and despite knowing it wasn’t going to change her mind about what she had to do, she walked into his arms, gently this time. His arms closed around her and she felt his cheek on her head. Oh how she loved him. Careful not to further injure him, she ran her hands over his shoulders, the breadth of his back. He’d always felt good in her arms but in that moment, he’d never felt more precious.

It was going to be hell being with him until they made port knowing there was no future for them.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything,” he said, as he rocked them, side to side. “But it’s over now.”

Sarah pinched her eyes closed; bit her lip hard to keep the emotions at bay. Yes, it was indeed over. And she needed to tell him. The longer she stayed in his arms, the longer she delayed it, the worse it would be for both of them.

Forcing all emotion aside, Sarah stepped back. “My father?”

“Dead.”

She’d known when Aidan charged into the cabin that if he was alive it meant her father wasn’t. It was as she’d wanted it, yet grief managed to find its way into her heart.

“I can’t say I’m sad he’s dead, but I can see it hurts you and for that I am sorry.”

“It shouldn’t, considering the kind of man he was.” She shrugged. “But I didn’t know who he truly was growing up and I loved him.”

Aidan cupped her cheek. “Of course you did.”

Unable to help herself, she ran her fingers through his hair, combing the locks away from his face. She knew as long as she lived she’d never forget his deep brown eyes, that handsome face.

“You lost your bandana.”

“Cale was bleeding, I gave it to him.”

“That was nice of you.” She lowered her hands, clasped them together to keep from reaching for him again. It was time. “Aidan I lied to you.”

“About what?”

“I told you after years of living as a prisoner it was possible I’d enjoy the adventure of piracy.” She shook her head. “I can’t. I love the ship but I can’t live through another battle. I know that makes me a coward and I’m disappointed in myself that I’m not stronger, but the truth is, I’m not. I’m not Samantha.”

He scowled. “Sarah, I never asked you to be. I love you for who you are.”

“You’ve waited your life to be Steele, to have the
Revenge
as your own.” She looked about the battered cabin. “It needs repairs but you can have it all now.”

“I don’t care—”

“I can’t be a pirate and neither am I strong enough to stay behind and watch you leave, knowing you may never come back. I’d think of this”—her hands waved to encompass the cabin—“and remember the cannons, the screaming. The wondering if the next shot would be the one that ended it.” Love for him, for what she was losing, pressed against her chest, making it hard to breathe. Her fingernails dug into her palms. Her toes curled within her shoes. “I love you. I will always love you.” She forced her lips to form a smile. “You don’t have to choose now, Aidan. There’s no choice to be made between me and Steele. I’m walking away. You can have what you’ve always dreamed of.”

*

Yes, it was
everything he’d dreamed of.

And it meant nothing without her.

He knew, however, she meant what she said. She was willing to walk away. But hell if he’d let her. She wasn’t the only one who’d come to some realizations.

“Sarah.” He stepped toward her, not the least bit discouraged when she retreated.

He chased her until her back pressed against the bulkhead. Her shirt once again slipped off her shoulder, momentarily distracting him with that bit of creamy skin. He knew precisely how it felt beneath his fingers. How it tasted on his tongue.

Even before she yanked the garment in place, he’d shifted his gaze back to her face. Because he didn’t want her thinking this was about lust. It was about much, much more.

“Do you know why I wanted to be Steele?”

Squawk.
“Sam Steele. Sam Steele.”

The question seemed to catch her off guard. “No.”

“I wanted Sam to be proud of me. I grew up watching her be brave and smart and, yes, courageous. She saved my life and I wanted her to be as proud of me as I was of her.” He dipped his head. It all sounded a little ridiculous now. He knew she’d always been proud of him and he’d never had to prove it.

“I couldn’t wait to be Steele. I wanted to follow in her footsteps, continue the legacy. I coveted the name as I coveted the ship. And yes, I was so goddamn proud when I took Steele from Cale. Finally, I thought. Finally, I had it all.”

He shook his head. Sarah wasn’t the only naïve one.

“But earlier, when I knew the cabin had been hit and I had no idea if you were dead or alive…” The memory still left him cold. “I sure as hell wasn’t feeling very proud. All I kept thinking was you may be dead and it was all because of me and this damn quest to be Steele.”

“That’s not true. You were going after my father because of what he’d done to your family. It had nothing to do with the glory of being Steele.”

He took her hands, needing to touch her. “When your father called Cale Steele today, I didn’t correct him. For once, it didn’t matter who was Steele. All that mattered was you and getting to you as fast as I could.” He squeezed her hands. “I love you, Sarah. More than anything. More than a ship, more than a damn name.” He brought her hands to his mouth, kissed them. “Please don’t walk away from me.”

*

Sarah wanted to
believe him, more than anything. But she wasn’t convinced he could let go of a lifelong dream for someone he’d known less than a week. Nor did she believe that he wouldn’t wake up one day and wish he’d chosen Steele instead. Ignoring her heart, which wanted to grab him and never let go, Sarah followed her head.

“Aidan, you were worried about me being hurt, that’s why, in that moment, Steele didn’t matter to you. But if I wasn’t here and you didn’t have to worry about me, it would be exactly as you’ve always wanted.”

“Don’t you see?” he said, running his fingers over her cheek. “You just said it. I wasn’t thinking about Steele because I was thinking about you. Because you mean more to me than he does.

“And I only thought I knew what I wanted. But then I met you, and I realized those things pale in comparison.”

Oh, God. She could feel herself swaying and prayed for the strength to resist him. She didn’t want him giving up anything for her.

“But you love this ship,” she argued. “And I know you love Steele, no matter what you say.”

“I do. I always will. But I don’t need to
be
Steele any more. I have a family. I’ve only just found my father again and now I have you. I have too much to lose by being Steele. I promised never to lie to you, Sarah.” He leaned in, kissed her. “I’m not lying when I tell you I’m ready to let go of a boy’s dream. I have everything a man needs right here.”

Her chin trembled nearly as much as her heart. “Are you sure? I need you to be sure.”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

He captured her mouth with his, kissed her long and slow, claimed her as his own until there was no room for doubt.

“Marry me,” he whispered against her lips. “Be my wife.”

Sarah’s heart filled to bursting. She was loved, truly loved for the first time in her life and she had her freedom. Once Grace had her baby she’d be a big sister. She shouldn’t want more and yet…

“You’re a bit late,” she teased.

“Late?”

“You missed my birthday, but a proposal is worth waiting for.”

He kissed her. “If it’s a present you’re after, name it.”

“Well I do like this ship.”

“You want to keep the ship?” he asked, clearly pleased with the idea.

Squawk.
“Keep the ship. Keep the ship.”

“Not for piracy,” she was quick to add.

“Not anymore.” He smiled. “Was there anything else you wanted?”

She bit her lip. “Can you get the bandana back from Cale? I’m quite partial to it.”

Passion darkened his eyes. “How partial?”

Sarah grinned. “Get it and I’ll show you.”

*

Aidan wanted to
shout it from the top of the mast that she’d said yes, but despite his excitement and happiness, there were things yet to be settled. Not with Sarah, he had no reservations where she was concerned. But there were others in his life to whom he owed an explanation.

The moment he stepped onto the deck behind Sarah and Carracks Samantha was there, golden eyes shining brightly despite her scowl.