In Rude Health (7 page)

‘I see, so you’d like me to get you an ambulance for a cut to the leg you sustained yesterday, whilst running from the police?’

‘Aye, that’s right, hen, so send me the fuckin ambulance, now!’

It wasn’t an ambulance I sent to that address that night.

Call handler, Glasgow

A teenager was brought in with concussion and a small cut on his forehead, which had been bleeding profusely. It was only superficial, however, and didn’t need stitching.
When we asked him how it had happened, he went bright red, and very quietly said he’d been shaving in the shower and had fallen over. Puzzled, I mentioned that that didn’t sound very
embarrassing, to which he replied, ‘Um, I wasn’t shaving
up there
, I was shaving
downstairs
.’

Nurse, Wrexham