In Plain View (25 page)

Annie pinched her shoulders up and held them there. “Maybe you don’t have to plan them anymore.”

“Believe me, I’m tempted. Your father insists the social contacts are good for his business.” Annie was afraid that if she sliced any faster, her bounty would include a fingertip.

With the swiftness of long habit, Myra tore off a paper towel and wiped up the widening puddle beneath the colander of spinach on the counter. She opened the cabinet door to toss the soggy towel into the trash.

Myra picked up the letter. “Throwing away your mail so quickly?”

“It’s nothing I’m interested in.” Annie reached for the letter, intending to crumple it this time.

Myra raised her arm and stepped back, keeping the letter out of Annie’s reach and already reading. “Annie! This is an amazing opportunity!”

“Under other circumstances, yes, it would be.” Annie resumed chopping.

“But two years, Annie. Then you could be comfortable and never have to worry about money again.”

“I already don’t worry about money.”

“Surely you’re allowed to make a living. After all, you haven’t actually joined the Amish. It’s not too late to back out.”

Annie swallowed and laid the knife down carefully before turning to her mother. “Mom, I don’t want to back out. That’s the last thing I want.”

Color evaporated from Myra’s face. “I thought you were just thinking about things.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking for quite a while now. It might be time for me to do something more definite.”

Myra moistened her lips and twitched her chin. “I read somewhere that the Amish are allowed to use computers as part of their businesses. That’s all you’d be doing.”

Annie shook her head. “You know it would be much more than that for me. My relationship with computers is a different life, a different set of values than anything the Amish could ever imagine or justify.”

Annie felt it when she used Mrs. Weichert’s computer at the shop for more than a quick search for information. She felt it when she picked up Carter’s phone and looked at his Internet search history. Months of disciplining herself not to depend on the gratification of instantaneous information would melt into a river of slime running through her life if she considered L-R Industry’s offer.

“I can’t, Mom,” she said.

“You could if you wanted to.”

“But I don’t want to. And I don’t want to want to.”

“Are you and Rufus getting serious? Is that it?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure what we are, Mom. That’s not the point. I want to live more simply, with deeper values.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the values your father and I taught you.”

“I didn’t say there was, Mom. Maybe I need to understand them better. Maybe I’m just choosing something more overt. More definite.”

“Then it’s his family. His mother.”

“Franey? What do you mean?”

“You’re closer to her than you are to me.”

“Oh, Mom.”

“Don’t deny it. You didn’t want to come home while Penny was here because you didn’t want to miss your quilt lesson with Franey Beiler. You’re replacing me. How can I have a place in your life if you go Amish?”

“ ‘Go Amish’?”

“You have a family, Annie. Why are you turning your back on us?”

Annie dug the heels of her hands into her eyes.

“You’ve done that since you were a toddler,” Myra said. “It’s as if you made up your mind not to cry and so you just won’t. I bet Franey Beiler doesn’t know that about you.”

“It’s not a contest, Mom.”

Myra gasped and lurched toward the oven, slamming the door down and reaching in with a dish towel as her hot pad. She set the quiche on the stovetop.

“Look at that. I’ve never burned a quiche before in my life. This crust is ruined.”

They ate without saying much. The crust was darker than usual but far from ruined. After wedges of fresh pear, they agreed they would take a walk around the neighborhood. It did not escape Annie’s notice that her mother chose a route that took her past her old elementary school, past her childhood best friend’s house—though her friend had moved away years ago— and past her middle school. Annie felt every tortuous tick of the afternoon’s minutes until it was time for Rufus and Tom to return.

When the red truck pulled up, Annie was already waiting outside in one of the two chairs her mother left year-round on a flagstone patio. She had said good-bye to her mother a few minutes earlier. Now she jumped up and crossed the driveway before Rufus could get out of the truck.

“Let’s go home,” she said through the open window.

“I was going to greet your mother.” Rufus gestured toward the house.

“It’s not a good time.” Annie lurched into the cab.

Twenty-Seven

O
n Saturday, Annie parked her bicycle at the bottom of the steps leading up to the Beilers’ front porch. The front door creaked, and Jacob Beiler pushed the screen door open wide.

“Mamm said you would be here soon.”

“Well, here I am.”

Annie never could manage to suppress a smile at the sight of the little boy who had attached himself to her nearly a year ago. While Rufus’s feelings toward her mystified her at times, Jacob never gave her a moment’s doubt. She straightened the fullness of her dress and reached up to make sure her prayer
kapp
had not escaped her head during the ride from town.

Jacob let the screen door slam behind him. “Mamm said to tell you she would be right back. Sophie is supposed to be in charge of me. I keep telling
Mamm
I don’t need anyone to be in charge of me.”

Annie climbed the porch steps and gave Jacob’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “So your
mamm
is not here?”

“You’re supposed to get everything out and get started.” Jacob turned and led Annie into the living room and toward the chest he knew held her quilt-in-progress.

They both turned at the sound of steps coming through the dining room.

“Good morning, Annalise.” Sophie nodded with her greeting. “I’m sorry I must steal Jacob back from you. He has not finished his work in the kitchen.”

“Of course.” Annie put a hand on Jacob’s back and nudged him toward his sister.

“Make yourself at home,” Sophie said. “You know you are always welcome here.”

His shoulders slumped, Jacob trudged after Sophie into the kitchen. Annie lifted the lid on the cedar chest, savoring the touch of Rufus’s workmanship in her fingers. Saturday morning quilting sessions illumined her weeks. Annie had missed too many of them recently. Franey Beiler was a skillful, patient teacher. Perhaps she found more to commend in Annie’s work than it deserved, but her kindness crafted hope in Annie. As she lifted the quilt out of its safekeeping, Annie listened for the familiar cadence of Franey’s steps across the hand-scrubbed, broad-planked flooring.

Her mother’s words from three days ago oozed through Annie’s mind now. Was there any truth in them? Annie certainly had not set out to replace her mother with a relationship with Franey Beiler. But did Franey somehow see Annie as a replacement for the daughter who had fled her own baptism rather than join the Amish congregation? Franey taught Annie skills she had taught her own daughters—including Ruth. Annie could bake a decent loaf of bread without a recipe and a tasty apple schnitzel if she paid close attention to the steps of the process. She was in Franey’s kitchen often enough at mealtimes to learn more about cooking than she had ever tried to absorb from her own mother. She knew Franey liked her. Loved her, even. So did Eli. If she decided to formally join the Amish, they would welcome her as part of their family regardless of what became of her relationship with Rufus. But would she be a consolation prize? A peculiar comfort to offset Ruth’s decision?

Annie shook the thought out of her head. The quilt was in her arms now, and she also snared the small basket that held threads and scissors and templates. She moved to the sofa to take her usual seat, remembering the block she was working on two weeks ago. A hoop still held it taut, as smooth on the bottom as it was on the top.

It took only seconds for Annie to see something was not right. Someone had been working on her quilt.

Someone who used fine, even stitches.

The block was finished—and flawless. Her own stitches, which she had wrestled with for four hours last week, had been picked out with a delicate touch that left the cotton fabric unblemished. Meticulous stitches replaced her work. Each length of thread was exactly the same measurement, equal distance apart, and pulled through with faultless tension. Annie flipped the quilt over and ran her fingertips over the back of the square. She found no knots visible to the eye or available to touch, only the same perfection on the underside that the quilt top boasted.

Fury roiled, then grief. If she quilted every day for a year, she could never replicate that precision.

But perfect as they were, the stitches spoiled her quilt. It was
her
quilt.

Moving off the sofa, Annie spread the quilt open on the floor, squatted, and crept around all four sides, lifting the unbound edges at intervals. Many of the squares were still basted in place to keep them from moving during the quilting process, but even an unpracticed eye could see The difference between the work she had done under Franey’s supervision and the expert stitching that now shone from the block in the quilt hoop.

Annie looked more closely. The thread was not hers. The color match was closer than her choice had been. How was that possible?

She would have to give up. Abandon the violated project. Forget she ever tried to learn to quilt.

Certainly she would never be able to look Beth Stutzman in the eye—she was sure the work was Beth’s. Even though everyone knew that Annie’s amateur stitching did not measure up to the standards of the rest of the quilts in the Beiler home, no one else would have suggested undoing her efforts. How Beth found the time during the last two weeks, Annie did not know. The Stutzmans were not even living in the Beiler home anymore.

Annie grabbed the quilt with both hands, hurled it at the open cedar chest, taking no effort to be tidy, and stomped out the front door.

Rufus heard the screen door slam from across the yard and through the open workshop window. He set down his plane and stepped outside in time to see the burst of a rust-colored dress flashing across the yard, past the garden, and into the barn.

He found Annalise there a few minutes later.

On her knees in the end stall with Her back to the door, she tore at the pins holding her hair in place. Her
kapp
was already in the straw. He watched, his breath fading, as her blond hair escaped the braids and shook loose. Her shoulders rose with the sudden, noisy intake of air of one caught up in weeping and forgetting to breathe.

“Annalise.”

Instantly she was on her feet. She spun toward him, her hair settling around her face and draping across her chest. Both hands now tried to eradicate the evidence of her tears, but Rufus had never seen her eyes so full.

Annalise Friesen did not cry. She solved problems.

“Annalise, tell me what happened.” He took a step toward her.

Standing in a shaft of light shed by the window above her, she opened her mouth but closed it without speaking. Again her shoulders heaved.

Rufus lightly touched her shoulder. “Talk to me, Annalise.”

She blew out air and breathed in three more times before she could form words.

“Everything is a mess, and I don’t know how to clean it up.”

“What are you talking about?”

Annalise rolled her eyes, a gesture Rufus had seen a few occasions before.

“You name it,” she said, “and it’s a mess.”

“You’ll have to be more specific.”

He wanted to take her in his arms and still her quaking. To feel her racing heart—surely it was racing—and count the moments until it quieted. To stroke her forbidden hair.

“My mother, for starters,” she said. “I didn’t tell you half of what happened on Wednesday. She’s petrified I’ll become Amish.” She clenched the fabric of her skirt. “And look at me, standing here in this dress. What am I supposed to do?”

“I’ll speak to her, if you like.”

“And say what?” Her gray eyes dared him. “Will you tell her that you don’t care for me and I should not become Amish on your account?”

“You shouldn’t,” he said quietly, knowing that he was ducking her arrow.

“See, I’ve made a mess with you, too. What am I doing here, Rufus?”

“You wanted to live a simpler life.”

“You have to know it’s more than that.”

Slowly, he nodded. “I do know. And it is more.”

Her tears glistened, welling again. Rufus wanted to wipe them away with his own fingertips. But he did not move. “It’s Saturday. You came to quilt, I’m sure. So why are you out here?”

“Because I can’t quilt, and everyone knows it.”

“You are learning.
Mamm
says you are doing well.”

“Clearly someone else has another opinion.”

“What are you talking about, Annalise?”

She gestured toward the house. “Go look for yourself. Someone’s been working on my quilt and doing a far better job than I could ever hope to do.”