Authors: Amy Sparling
Her shoulders lift as she takes a deep breath. “Okay, well I guess I feel weird. I don’t know.”
She looks at the ground and I squeeze her hands. “Why do you feel weird? Up until tonight, it seemed like we were both equally crazy about each other.”
Her lips press together and then she looks back up at me. “I do like you. A lot. I guess I’m just not used to fancy stuff like this.” She nods back toward the restaurant. “It’s a little much . . .”
My eyebrows pull together. “You didn’t like it?”
She shakes her head. “No, I did. It was nice, but it was kind of . . .
too
nice?” The look on her face tells me how guilty she feels admitting this all to me, and I try my best not to get offended. My heart is thudding like crazy and all I want is to make her happy. It’s a shitty feeling knowing my best efforts have failed.
“I’m sorry, Maddie.” I run my hand down her cheek, then tilt her forehead up to my lips. “I just wanted to impress you.”
“I know, and that’s sweet of you. But seriously, I’d be happy with a pizza and a movie at home, or something.”
I grin. “You’re an M, now, Maddie. Didn’t Mindy tell you you’re supposed to be wined and dined?”
She rolls her eyes. “I know I live in Shady Heights, but I’m just not used to all of this fancy stuff. I come from . . . well,
not
Shady Heights. And when I’m in a place like this restaurant, I just feel like everyone
knows
. Like all these fancy people take one look at me and know I don’t belong.”
“That’s not true,” I say, sliding my hands around her waist. “All these people are either jealous that you’re the most beautiful girl in the room, or they’re too busy hating me for getting to date the prettiest girl in the room.”
She grins sheepishly and looks down, then moves forward and presses her cheek to my chest. I feel her arms slide around my back, holding me closely. “Thank you,” she murmurs against my shirt. “For dinner, and everything.”
“I should be thanking you,” I say, letting my chin rest on top of her head. “You make me the luckiest guy on earth.”
Before long, my old life is like a horrible nightmare that I’ve somehow managed to escape. As weeks go by, Colby and I become the picture perfect teenage couple, and Mindy slowly becomes my favorite person and best friend. She’s really not as bitchy as she seems, once you get to know her. At school, she’s a little . . . much, at times, but when it’s just us hanging out at one of our houses, she’s a normal person. It’s really nice having a best friend, now.
Almost as nice as having a boyfriend like Colby. He’s sweet, and attentive, and kind. He’s a great kisser. Though our makeouts are getting more intense each day, he hasn’t pushed me into going farther than I want to. In short: my life is perfect.
That doesn’t stop me from waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, nightmares of my old life haunting me. I used to eat instant noodles and stale bread. Now I eat whatever the hell I want, cooked fresh by our own personal chef. I used to wear my one bra every day, even after safety-pinning it together when the hooks broke. Now, Mom takes me shopping so often that I can’t even remember where I bought each of the bras in my closet. My sisters are benefiting the most, because now their life is full of fun times with Mom, trips to museums and the movies, and all the food they could ever want.
My new life is a surreal, crazy change from my old one. I wish I could live happily in it, only caring about the present.
But the bitter truth is that part of this new life is a total lie. Every time Mindy or Colby says something about my old life, I have to lie, mumble, or change the subject.
At least once a day at school, I get all nervous and shaky when the teacher talks to me, scared they’ll reveal that I’m not really a new girl at all. Luckily, it’s not like anyone
told
my teachers I’m new. They all just realized one of their students dyed their hair. They don’t talk to me and I don’t talk to them. But it’s still scary.
I had to avoid Jacoby like the plague for a week, but then he got arrested for dealing drugs on school property and now he’s in alternative school. Score one for the Universe looking out for me.
On Monday after school, Mindy comes over a few minutes after Colby drops me off. Lately he’s been taking me to get a coffee or ice cream or something after school, that way we have more time together, but today he has to help his dad clean out the garage so he leaves early.
It's a shame because even five minutes away from Colby makes my heart hurt.
“So, I take it things with lover boy are still good?” Mindy says, plopping down on my bed.
Pam is in here vacuuming the floor, so she finishes quickly and asks if we want anything to drink. I tell her no, before Mindy can answer. It’s my goal to make Pam work as little as possible because I get really weirded out by having a servant in the house.
“Yep, things are perfect,” I say, my voice all dreamy as I fall onto the bed next to Mindy.
“I never would have imagined that you’d fall so hard and so fast for Colby Jensen, of all people,” she says. She looks over at me, her black and blue hair falling into her eyes. “But I’m happy for you anyway.”
“Thanks,” I say. It’s really awesome to have a best friend, even though I know Maria is still annoyed by it. “What’s Matilda up to?” I ask, while we both lay on our stomachs across my bed, feet dangling off the end, focus on our cell phones.
“Banging her boyfriend, I guess,” Mindy says with a snort. “That guy is pretty hot for a senior. You’ll learn that about us as time goes on, Maddie. I’m the logical one who is holding out for a
real
man, Matilda dates a new guy every month and is like, totally MIA when she’s in a new relationship, and Maria goes from being your best friend to your worst enemy every other day or so.”
“Really?” I ask, while I scroll through Instagram. “So she’s not just hating me to hate me?”
Mindy shakes her head. “Nah. She’ll come around and hang out with us soon. It’s a little different though, because the three of us have been best friends for years. We don’t just add a new M all the time or anything.”
“Well, I’m glad you added me,” I say, tapping the heart on every photo I scroll through. “Otherwise I’d be some friendless loser in school.”
She scoffs. “No way. Everyone loves you. If I didn’t snag you, some other bitch would have, and then I’d have to hate you on principle.” She scoots over until our shoulders are touching, and readies the camera on her phone. “Smile!”
I lean my head next to hers and we take an adorable selfie, which she posts online.
“I’m so glad you moved here,” Mindy says.
“Yeah,” I say, feeling that boulder of guilt settle in the pit of my stomach. “Me too.”
I wonder what she’d do if she knew I’d been here all along? She likes me now that I’m a Shady Heights resident, but I’m still the same person I was when I lived in a trailer park. Yet, the Mindy Carmichaels of the world aren’t friends with trailer park girls.
That’s why, no matter how close we get, I can’t ever tell her the truth.
I am in love with Maddie Sinclair.
Forget everything I ever thought I knew, all the other girls I dated and liked a lot. All of that is total crap because my one true love is Maddie. Even Josh’s mom was wrong on this one. True love
can
be found in high school. When I am with Maddie, there’s nothing in the world that can get me down.
I haven’t told her, not yet. Haven’t looked deep into her eyes and said the words, “I love you.”
Maddie is a logical, practical, smart girl. She probably wouldn’t be too excited to hear those epic words so soon in our relationship. It’s only been about a month, and I still haven’t met her parents. She’s met mine, several times. They love her, as I knew they would.
Since Maddie is busy helping her mom plan her wedding, she doesn’t want to complicate things by introducing them to me just yet. I can understand that. I’m also excited to meet her sisters because they are such a huge part of her life. We’re taking things slow here, so I can’t tell her I love her just yet.
But, damn, I love her.
Now that my parents know how serious my dating life is, I’d hoped I could use it as another argument for getting a job. I prepared my argument and brought it up on a good day when they were in good moods. I said I’d like to take my girlfriend out on dates every week and I’d like to pay for it myself. I humbled myself by saying I’d prefer to pay for my dates with money I earned, not money they earned.
They didn’t fall for it. Mom asked if Mindy has to work and I’d said no, even though I wanted to lie and say yes to help my cause. My parents then decided that if a Shady Heights girl didn’t need a job, then neither did I. Dad said he was fine pitching in money for my dates.
How awkward is that? After all my careful planning, I’m still screwed on the job front.
I shove all of those thoughts aside as I shower and go over my whole body twice with the soap. Tonight is date night with the prettiest girl on the planet, and I can’t let my parents’ stupid decisions put a damper on that.
After our first date, I learned to include Maddie on our date night planning. She’s not too big on fancy restaurants, which is weird for a normal girl in our school, but uniquely normal for Maddie. She’s not high maintenance, not stuck up, not demanding of me like every other girl in my life has been at one time or another.
She loves going to the Burger Shack for burgers and fries, or James Coney Island for a hot dog and milkshake. She’s happy when we take a walk through the outlet mall, or see a movie at the theater with loveseats so we can cuddle.
In short, she’s the perfect girlfriend ever. I throw on a pair of jeans and Maddie’s favorite shirt, a black T-shirt with a blue surf shop logo on it.
I’m pulling on my shoes when Maddie calls me.
“Hey, beautiful,” I say, wedging the phone between my ear and shoulder.
“Do you mind if I drive over to your house a little early?” she asks, sounding like she’s already in the car.
“Sure. Is something wrong?”
“No, they’re just doing wedding set up stuff and a million people are at our house and it’s annoying. I wanted to get out of there, so I thought I could just come over if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course,” I say, tying my shoe.
“Good, because I’m here.”
Grinning, I jog through my house and fling open the front door, forgetting that I’m still on the phone with her. She cuts the engine and gets out of her car, looking gorgeous as always. She’s wearing these shorts with frilly stuff on the edges so they kind of look like a skirt, and a tank top that shows of her newly acquired tan. All those days at the pool have turned her golden like caramel.
“Hey, babe,” I say, rushing forward and wrapping my arms around her.
I kiss her, the feeling electric now that I know for sure that I love her. She smells like lavender and cotton candy, and it fills me with all kinds of fluttery feelings that Josh would rag on me for having.
I slide my hands down her soft arms and then grab her waist and pull her to me, kissing her even as she giggles at me.
“Are we going out or are we just gonna stand here kissing all night?” she says, poking me in the chest.
“Hmmm, both ideas sound good,” I say, pressing her back against her car as I keep kissing her, taking in the glorious way her lips feel against mine.
She sighs a little, sliding her fingers up my chest. Goosebumps cover my skin, her touch like a flame that I can’t ever get enough of.
“I guess we should go out,” she says with a little pained sigh. “I mean, I am kinda hungry and although I love making out with you, you don’t fill my stomach.”
I laugh, and kiss her one last time. “Okay. Let me get my keys and we’ll go.”
“You want to take my car?” she asks, holding out the car keys on her index finger.
I consider it a moment. My car is probably faster, but hers smells like new car while mine smells like, well, like a locker room.
“Sounds like a plan,” I say, taking the keys.
#
After dinner, we end up at the community park where they’re showing the movie Jaws on a huge inflatable screen. The movie is at the bottom of a wide sloping grassy hill, and people spread out everywhere on towels and blankets to watch it.
There’s not much of a crowd here tonight, so Maddie and I find a secluded spot in front of a tree at the very back row. From here, we can chat and make out without bothering anyone.
“Have I ever told you how lucky I am?” I ask. Maddie is laying on her back on top of the blanket she had in her car from the last time we were here. My hoodie, also left in her car, is being used as her pillow, and I’m on my side, my head propped up on my elbow right next to her.
She shakes her head. “I’m the lucky one.”
I purse my lips together. “Nope. It’s me. And I’ll argue all night with you to prove I’m right.”
A slow grin slides across her lips, and she reaches up, wrapping her fingers around my neck and pulling me down to her level. She kisses me deeply, her tongue roaming across mine, the fireworks between us bursting at full volume. I grab her thigh and pull her against me, moving to kiss her neck, her collar bone, the little curve of flesh just above her shirt’s neckline.
She moans as I rock against her, my hands sliding all over her sexy as hell curves. She grabs my back, her nails digging into my skin, pulling me all the way on top of her.
This goes on for longer than it should in a public place, no matter how secluded we are. I pull away slowly, letting my hand cup her face while I kiss her one last time. “We should stop,” I whisper, both to maintain public decency, and because I might literally explode if this goes any further. I’m trying to be a gentleman here.
“See?” Maddie says, grinning and looking a little woozy from all of our making out. “I’m the lucky one.”
“Why do you say that?” I ask, gazing into her eyes.
She shrugs, reality coming back to her features. “Trust me. My life wasn’t that great before my mom got engaged to Landon.”
“Really?” I ask, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “You can tell me more, if you’d like.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t. You probably wouldn’t like me if I did.”
I lift an eyebrow. “Why would you say that? I’m crazy about you.”
“Well, I guess, I just wasn’t popular or anything at my old school.”
“So? I don’t like you because you’re popular, you dork,” I say, placing a quick kiss on top of her nose. “I like you because of
you
.”
She shakes her head slightly. “You wouldn’t have ever noticed me if Mindy didn’t, like, make me one of her popular friends.”
“Wrong!” I say. “I noticed you at Mrs. Ruiz’ house, remember? It was before you knew Mindy.” I stick out my tongue. “So there. I win.”
She makes this little laugh and then gazes out at the sky. “Let’s just be happy with how things are and not question the past.”
It’s a little after midnight when we part ways after an amazing date. I’m crawling into bed when my phone goes off and I check it, expecting something from Maddie.
Maria’s name appears at the top of the text. Ugh.
I ignore her message asking to hang out. I ignore it when she says it’s important, and I ignore the dirty picture message she sends afterward. I even ignore it when she says she’s better than Maddie, but that time, it’s a little harder to hold my tongue.