In Love by Design (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod) (28 page)

Our server arrived to place bowls of
soup in front of us and our spring rolls. Pam went quiet, and if the severe frown was any indication, she’s not thinking happy thoughts. The young Asian girl glanced anxiously at Pam and then at me, clearly worried she’d done something wrong. I smiled kindly and told her everything looked great.

Pam didn’t notice the exchange
, but focused back on her story when the girl scurried away. “I heard Carter’s dad say that he wished he’d never told Carter to marry a middle class nobody like me!”

My
deliciously fragrant spoonful of pineapple curry soup paused in the air near my mouth at those words. “Holy Crap, Pam!”

Pam grimaced and stirred her soup furiously. “Oh yes, Bel. Apparently Father Ogelbachen was feeling cheated that despite me coming from a family of six children, I wasn’t the baby making machine he thought I
’d be. He told Carter to make a doctor’s appointment to get my female equipment examined because I was worthless to them if I can’t have children!”

I swallowed my soup and
declared, “What a Father Fuckhead!”

“Right?” She
agreed, and smiled bitterly. “Oh, it gets even better, Bel, because Carter agreed! He didn’t defend me once or tell his father how it’s his equipment that’s causing the problem.” She made a disgusted face. “Carter had...has issues getting it up for as long as I’ve known him. The fact we hardly ever have sex didn’t enter their conversation.”

This
information was unexpected and out of left field. Pam has always known what she wanted. I would never go out with a man like Carter, but Pam wanted him from the beginning. She seemed content with their relationship.

To be sure I unde
rstood her correctly, I asked, “Carter’s had this problem from the very start of your dating?”

Reading
my expression, Pam smiled tightly and nodded. “Yes he did. Looking back, I can hardly understand it myself. When Carter first showed an interest in me, it was so flattering that I fell madly in love with him.” She absently tapped the spoon on the side of her bowl. “He was so much older and so handsome, and then there was money for the fancy dates and the gifts. It was very nice, but it was kind of intimidating, too, you know?”

I didn’t make the scoffing noise I wanted, b
ut replied quietly, “You were a girl with no dating experience, so yes, I bet it was intimidating.”

Pam
shrugged and said wryly, “At that time, I was almost relieved when Carter said we’d take it slow due to my age. Oh, we’d hug and kiss, but we didn’t do much else for the first couple of years. Finally, when we did try, he often couldn’t. He was so sweet and apologetic that I didn’t think much of it.” She added as an afterthought, “We weren’t one of those couples that spent all our time together, he had his friends and I had mine. Not like you and Mike were in high school, do you remember?”

“Only vaguely because you’re right,” I answered on a laugh, “I was too busy working at Bel’s and being with Mike every spare moment to be aware of what my friends were doing with their boyfriends
.”

She grinned back, her sense of humor never far from the surface
, even when her life was falling apart. “We weren’t doing much, so you didn’t miss anything.”

“
Geesh, I guess not.” I had to agree after hearing about their nonexistent sex life. “But Carter said he loved you, right? You were a virgin with her first boyfriend. Did you even know what your love life should be like? I mean, had you ever read a smutty romance or watched a really dirty movie at that age?”

“Not back then!” Pam replied so fervently that I
giggled. “I’ve never been a reader like you, and I don’t remember being curious about sex or thinking much about boys at all.” She smiled sadly. “I was such a nerdy tomboy. I was too busy running track to worry about that stuff. I could never figure out why Carter was so attracted to me in the first place.” She sat up straight and added primly, “Unlike some I could mention, I was a good girl, and good girls don’t watch dirty movies, Bel.”

I smiled briefly
and pointed a piece of spring roll in her direction before dipping it in the chili pepper sauce. “What can I say; I’m a curious kind of girl.”

Pam slumped down
again and continued playing with her soup. She brought the spoon to her mouth, swallowing a tiny amount and then said, “Carter did say he loved me and for years that was enough. This big, important man loved me, treated me like I was made of glass, our families approved, and I felt safe and protected.”

Her
odd words brought Carter to mind. Big was an apt description. He reminded me of Jack Banner with his blonde, Teutonic looks, but Jack was still in fighting shape at close to fifty. Carter’s bulk had gone soft around the middle before thirty-five and last I saw, he’s balding, too.

The important man aspect of Carter’s curb appeal has always eluded me.
I’ve never understood why people born into wealth and position think they’re such special creatures. Usually, it’s such a detriment in life to the formation of any interesting character traits that I considered it almost a handicap. Give me a self-made man any day and I’ll show you a man that knows what’s important.

Pam
switched food and played with her half of the spring rolls, breaking it apart with her fork. “I really think the blinders started coming off about the time we were getting married, but Carter had waited nine years to propose!” She glared over at me and popped a piece of the appetizer in her mouth. Talking with her mouth full, she stated, “Hell if I was giving up on us after all those years of hoping. This was my dream come true!”

“Ah yes. The Dream
Plan wedding syndrome, I know it well,” I said with a sigh.

Pam threatened me with her fork tines
and I raised my hands in mock defense while saying, “Hey, if you’ll recall, I was part of that disgusting extravaganza you called a wedding and actually loved my bridesmaid dress!”

“You’re
nothing but a Dream Plan basher!” Pam accused, and then the bravado disappeared. Swallowing, her bottom lip quivered. “I do have good fashion sense, don’t I, Bel?”

“Buck up, Pammie. Y
our taste in clothes is second to none,” I grinned a little, “bar mine, of course. Do we need to hunt somebody down for hurting your feelings?”

She nodded solemnly
. “Carter’s mother is an original mean girl and my sisters-in-law are just like her.”

I th
ought of Luke’s darling parents and his only child status and sent a quick prayer of thanks out into the Universe. I thought of Luke dealing with my family and all our shenanigans and giggled.

Our server brought our entrée of
spicy Pad Ped, already divided onto two plates. She topped off our waters and then left us alone.

“After hearing this conversation between Carter and his father, it opened my eyes. I realized I’ve been living a
lie. Carter doesn’t love me. I don’t have a real marriage.” Pam waved her deadly fork. “Bel, it’s been a hard truth to swallow, but the main reason my husband married me was to please his father. We hardly even talk now, let alone have sex, but I’ve realized something else whenever I think of divorcing Carter. We live two separate lives and have since the beginning. I don’t know what he’s doing most of the time,” Pam gave a low, nasty laugh, “and he certainly doesn’t know what I’ve been doing these last months. Divorcing Carter will hardly cause a ripple in my life and how sad is that after twelve years together?”

I want
ed to get to the good part of that nasty laugh and find out what Pam’s been up to these last months, but go with the flow.

“Very sad,” I agree
d quietly, taking a sip of water to cool off my mouth from the spicy food. The day-by-day commitment Luke and I have makes more sense every time I talk with my married friends. I’d be willing to up the ante to a month, but that would be the max. “Are you positive about this, Pam? You don’t want marriage counseling?”

“I’m very positive I want a divorce.
I have a lawyer on it already. We have a pre-nup, and without kids, everything’s cut and dried.” Pam speared a bite of chicken. Chewing slowly, she said, “If the family wasn’t spending all their time putting out financial fires on all sides, I wouldn’t still be living there. Since Carter’s never around or I’m gone flying, I’m taking my time and putting aside money.” She shrugged listlessly, drained of anger after telling her story. “I have my eye on a condo in Burnsville that will be available in February.”

I grit
ted my teeth, but my offer was sincere. “If you need a place to stay for any reason, let me know.” Pam mistily smiled her thanks in acknowledgment and I asked, “Have you ever considered if Carter is having sex with women his father wouldn’t approve of like prostitutes, or if maybe he’s gay and in the closet?”

Pam’s blue eyes rounded in shock. She may fly the friendly skies for a living and be close to thirty, but in many ways Pam
was still the sheltered, small town girl from our childhood.

“No, I’ve never considered either of those things
, since he’s never been able to keep a stiffy! I just thought he took his aggressions out on animals, since he likes to hunt a lot…” Her voice hesitated and she whispered loudly, “My God, are you thinking “Brokeback Mountain”, Bel?”

I laughed and said, “
I’m not thinking anything. I was just curious what you’ve thought over the years, since you know Carter best.”

“Not that!” Pam exclaimed, cracking her knuckles in nervous agitation.

“Okay, here’s another question for you. Do you think the Ogelbachen’s are in serious money trouble?” I asked, mainly to take her mind off Carter spooning in a sleeping bag, but also there’s a wee bit of nosiness, too. I was always interested in the financial world and was curious what could be happening to cause this uproar Pam’s described in their lives.

“
Honestly, I haven’t paid much attention. I’ve heard arguments about large amounts of cash missing and something about access to land maybe?” Pam answered with disinterest, unconsciously taking another bite of her lunch. “Carter’s younger two brothers are complete morons, so I’m not surprised they’re having problems with their businesses.” Then she sniggered. “I’m being the mean one now, but I find it funny that Carter’s youngest brother has run his “upper class” wife’s family business right into the ground.” She added with a big smile, “It’s nice to know that soon I won’t have to sit at family meals and listen to them bitch and bicker about Delta Airlines ruining their travel business, as if I’m personally responsible!” She scoffed, “It’s not like it’s a national secret that Carter’s brothers also gamble and leak money like sieves. Father Ogelbachen has bailed them out numerous times in the past.”

“Holy Moly, I had no
idea how miserable you’re life has been with this family,” I sympathized, shifting in my seat. My butt was healing, but sitting in one spot for too long got uncomfortable and these chairs were hard.

There was something
floating around in my brain I wanted to ask, but Pam rushed on speaking and I lost my train of thought. “Oh, please don’t feel bad. I haven’t let anyone know how crappy things were in my life.”

I raised my brows. “Were?”

She looked around furtively. Voice lowered, she said, “I was depressed after hearing Carter and his dad. You don’t know how lowering it is to understand that I’ve been used all these years. Then, like I was telling you, there was this man on a flight and the attraction was unbelievable.” She smiled impishly. “You know what a flirt I am. Men take it seriously and hit on me, but I’ve always been faithful to Carter. This time I didn’t resist.” She breathed out in awed wonder and murmured, “And ooh-wee, the sex…!”

Expecting to hear about hearts and flowers, Pam almost made me snort tea through my nose when she said, “We were like two jungle animals mating for the first time! He actually smelled me between my legs, SMELLED ME, and then we literally tore each other’s clothes off
. We did it five times, FIVE TIMES, in two hours.”

I eyed my friend
askance and said, “You’re single-handedly ruining all my theories on one night stands.”

She sat back with a triumphant smile and delivered the
coup de grâce
, “We lost the damage deposit on the room!”

“Bloodstains?” I asked, apprehensively.

“What? No!” She covered her mouth and giggled. “He wasn’t violent, just athletic! We broke a lamp and tore down the curtains!” She stated proudly, “We had to order T-shirts from the hotel gift shop to be sent up by room service before we could leave!”

I stopped listening at the word “athletic” and passed my phone over again. “Here, take another look at my boyfriend. Are you sure he doesn’t look familiar? Imagine him with different hair or…”

Pam laughed in puzzlement, even as she took my phone and looked closely. She shook her head, passing the phone back. “You can’t disguise that nose. I have never seen that nose before on any man. What’s wrong with you anyway?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”
I smiled down at Torquemada’s image. We were sitting together at the dining room table and his hand was up my skirt, not that Anna knew this when she was snapping away. “His nose is pretty bossy.”