In His Command (23 page)

Stopping in a near-perfect circle broken only by scant animal prints and one lone tree soldiering on its own, his overcoat passed to one of the guards, he lowered me to my knees.

The snow melted fast beneath my legs, slush seeping through my pants.

I twined my hands together, giving one last rub to my naked finger.

In my periphery, the two guards unholstered their sidearms, their bodies blocking any escape.

Before me, the bare branches of the single tree danced in a swift breeze, the same way I listed sideways for a moment.

I wouldn’t spend my last moments angry. I’d wasted too much time.

My head bowed, I thought about Liz.

I was glad I’d be with Erica soon, unless the CO controlled heaven and hell too.

Tasting a drop of salt in the corner of my mouth, I held in a smile, grateful Leon had made it…with my bike.

Alejandro came to mind. My hot-tempered lover with his passion for life, his truth in death.

The tears rained faster when I thought about Blondie, the man standing right behind me. It was a goddamn good thing I was gonna die because I would never be able to live through the agony of his actions.

Forty seconds or so of that sniffling was more than enough. Wiping my face against my shoulder since my hands were still fucking bound, I cleared my throat. “I’m ready.”

His voice was ghostly as a thin cloud racing across a midnight sky. “Last words?”

Oh yeah, I had a lot of those. Starting with Fuck and ending with You. But I wasn’t doing that. I squared my shoulders and opted for a different FU. “I forgive you.”

He was so silent, I wondered if he was just gonna plug me with no warning. Shooting my head around, I had to look at the man one last time. My gaze landed on his lapel overflowing with the nodding flowers he’d first given me and then his eyes, so glittery blue they put those frigging blooms to shame. “Forget me not, Nathaniel.”

I turned my eyes to the tree ahead.

The brush of metal from leather sounded, his weapon readied.

A loud
click
as his gun was cocked.

Its discharge deafened me, two blasts in quick succession.

Blondie. Nathaniel! LizEricaLeonAlejandro. Blondie!

I was slammed into the ground.

Heavy breaths sped against my neck.

A broad chest covered my back.

Blondie.

“You stupid fuck. Caspar!”

Not a bullet. Blondie. Tackling me to the ground inside the cage of his arms.

Turning me over.

Touching me everywhere.

There was wet warmth between my shoulder blades, but it wasn’t blood. It was his tears, the ones coursing down his face and in between his lips.

The only blood spilled was on both sides of the clearing, not mine. Red rivers melted snow, forming puddles. The guards were flat-out with neat bullet holes in their foreheads.

I hunched over and croaked, “Nice shooting.” He’d shot his own people, Company people, and covered me with his body in case he’d missed his mark.

“How could you believe it?” Undoing the handcuffs, rubbing my wrists until circulation pierced my fingertips, he was shouting. “How the fuck could you believe I’d kill you? You idiot!”

I grabbed his face and hauled him on top of me. I brought his mouth to mine between gasps. Our tongues swooped inside and out, tasting, feasting.

I went at his throat, nipping, biting, hungry, greedy. Alive.

Relief, disbelief, and rage all fought for airtime within me. I didn’t know where to start first.

“Brought it down to the wire, didn’t you?” I shoved him off me.

I’d vowed not to hurt him.
Fuck that.
This time I was gonna put a world of hurt on him. An entire goddamn universe.

“You didn’t leave me with a whole lotta options.” His voice was low and rough.

“I thought you meant it.”

He walked toward me. The sun reflected off the snow, working through his hair and soft stubble, his beautiful lips, setting off the sorrow in his eyes.

“You believed I’d kill you?”

“Sure.”

“Sweet Jesus, Caspar.” He leaned down with his cheek against mine and his mouth near my ear, the sad truth coming out in a pained whisper. “You could believe all those lies but not the truth?”

I made full-body contact with Blondie, folding my arms around him. It felt so good, so right. I wanted to give in to the love flooding me, but I couldn’t. “The truth?”

“I love you so much it hurts, Caspar. Knowin’ you were beaten…” He sucked in a breath, impaling me with his blues awash with all the emotion he’d hidden from Company eyes. “That they convinced you I was playin’ you. I don’t ever wanna know. I don’t think I can take it, honey. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I tried to get you out sooner.”

“I convinced myself of it all.” I felt only deeper sadness for all the words we were saying.

“Why?”

“I don’t think I deserve love.” I let him hold me, my face in the nook of his neck. “I don’t deserve your love.”

He exhaled on a curse but wouldn’t let me go. “Well, you got it. You got all of me.”

My throat grew tight.

His lips left damp marks over my face. “I love you.”

I burrowed into him, willing my heart to stop its pounding, trying to break free of imprisonment.

My head playing catch up with this great big mess, I disengaged from his arms. The warmth of his body replaced by the cold liquid of distrust, which was always so much easier to go with. “You love me so much, the only way you could get me off was by letting me sit in my own shit without a stitch of clothing while I was drowned, starved, and browbeaten by images of—” I gulped down the choking sensation of jealousy, which was fresh as the water that had damn near killed me.

“Images of what?”

I shook my head.

“Goddamn you, Caspar!” His voice broke, and he opened his eyes wide to the sky, blinking, blinking, blinking. Balling his fists, he poured his words over me. “Everything you told me about Alejandro was in here.” He pointed at his temple. “His sacrifice for you. Just like him, I knew there was no way in hell you’d go through with rehabilitation. I knew you’d be an unrepentant, stubborn sumbitch, and if I could just get you out here, I could save your life.”

The corner of his lips twitched up and he wiped the tears from his eyes. The cuff of his shirtsleeve slipping, I caught a glimpse of suede at his wrist.

My heart flew around some more. Frigging thing must’ve grown wings in there.

“I cut the live feed as soon as the trial started.”

“You did?”

“’Course I did, big man.”

I inhaled sharply. Last time I’d heard those words, Kale had been taunting me.

“What?” he asked.

I wouldn’t let Kale corrupt my feelings. I was too good at that myself.

“Hooked it back up when you gave your speech, though.” The other side of his lips perked up.

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah! That was a call to arms, Caspar. Do you have any idea what you did?” Energy pinged off him as he paced a wide circle, punching his fist to the air. “You gave purpose to our cause. Shit, you’re the badass darlin’ of the Revolution.” His approach tentative, he came close enough to touch my shoulder and no farther. “I’m so proud of you, honey.”

I took a step back.

He stalked forward. “Aw, hell, Caspar. You’re willin’ to let it all go? What we had, what we could have?”

“What you did, that was a helluva gamble.”

“You think I was screwin’ around in there this whole time? I was goin’ insane while you were down in the dungeons. Everyone was breathin’ down my neck. My father, the executives, hell, even the guards were keepin’ tabs on me. I’d just been plannin’ to blow the Brier sky high. That shit all went haywire as soon as you were hauled in. I had to figure out how to get you off, honey, and the whole time, I couldn’t get you outta my head.”

Pulling my hands from under my armpits, he slammed them against his chest. “This was dead! Don’t you get it?”

Softly, he touched my chin, cupping my jaw. “I don’t want this life without you.” His lips brushed over mine. “I can’t let you go.”

I returned his kiss, relearning the plump contours of his mouth. I touched the bow of his lips, the corners, caressing all that sweet skin with my tongue before drawing away.

“I want to believe you.”

He nodded.

“Not sure I can take the risk.”

The corner of his jaw pulsed. “I’m not a risk.”

I waved him away. “The worst torture was thinking you’d planned this all along.”

“Caspar, don’t do this.”

Plowing ahead, I voiced all the fears that had eaten away my happy-ending dreams, leaving me with a head full of nightmares. “You always seemed so guilty.”

“Goddamn you. I couldn’t tell you about my father. I didn’t know how you’d react to the Freelanders until I got you to the commune.” He growled, “Only thing I’m guilty of is lovin’ you, tryin’ to protect you.”

“Did you know Kale was gonna be here?”

“No.”

“Did you know this was gonna happen?”

“No way. But I had to think ahead. Why do you think I wanted you far away from this place? I’ve been stewed in the Company’s ways for so long. It’s true. I did have plans—”

My laugh was spiteful. “Always the man with the plan. Did you plan to tell Kale about Alejandro, or was that just a slipup?”

“I never spoke to him about Alejandro. I never spoke to him at all. He must’ve overheard me talking to—”

“Lemme guess,” I cut in. “You were having a nice little chitchat about your banged-up ex-lover with your new-old flame, Farrow.”

“You know? What did they say to you?”

“Guilty now, aren’t you?”

His cheeks turned red. “It’s not like that.”

“I saw the pictures.”

“She’s here to help us.”

“From what I saw, she helped herself to you.” I stood above him as he bent over, gripping his knees, his breath chugging out of his chest in short, sharp shots.

“Sitting on my jury? Prancing me out here with a weapon in your hand? How do you think I felt about that?”

“That’s why I wore the flowers,” he groaned. “To signal you.”

“I thought you were just tormenting me.”

He was on his knees before me. “I don’t know why I bothered.” His chuckle was a short-lived burst. “What do you want from me?”

On his knees, just as I’d been, with his Glock to my head.

On his knees, beseeching me to believe him.

What the fuck am I doing?

I didn’t ever want Blondie in that position. He’d taken out two of his own people for me—nothing said love like that—and this was how I repaid the man? When was I gonna fight for what I wanted?

“Get up.” I hauled him to his feet. When he swayed, I caught him in my arms. Turning my lips to his ear, I blew his hair aside. “I do.”

“What?” He trembled in my touch.

“I know now.” I pulled his face to mine. “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.”

“Caspar?”

Tenderly roaming down his back, my hands slid to his ass, and I couldn’t resist pulling him against me.

He gasped. “Caspar?”

“You saved my life because you fucking love me.” Nipping his earlobe, his chin, his bottom lip, I said against his mouth, “And I love you.”

A mountain of emotion grew between us, too great to withstand. We went down into the snow, rocking together. We kissed like it was our first time. Slips of tongues and sips from mouths, sighs becoming moans.

There was no more knocking in my chest. My heart was soaring free.

No more beating in my head. I’d finally figured my crap out.

Sneaking down to suck on his throat, I whispered, “I’m sorry, baby.”

“
Sshh
. You went through hell because of me.”

“Thanks for getting me out of there, even if you took a roundabout route doing it.”

“Okay, now you’re pushin’ it.” His eyes were bright, his cheeks pink, his lips swollen from mine. “You decided I’m worth the risk?”

“You’re not a risk.” I dipped close. “You’re mine.”

With suspicion, my death sentence, and all that other shit out of the way, I was of the same mind as my cock, especially when Blondie reclined to his elbows—in the fucking snow—inviting me on top of his body for a fierce, forgiving kiss.

Just a romantic interlude, with two dead bodies on ice.

I was getting ready to break it up when he gave a long whimper interrupted by the very near sound of a low laugh.

“Well, well, well, quite the pair of lovebirds, aren’t ya?”

I
knew that voice, thought I’d heard the last of it.
Caught in the goddamn act again
. Coming to my feet, I couldn’t believe my eyes when a figure emerged from the surrounding trees.

Beside me, Blondie leaped up, wrapping his arm around my waist.

“Seeing as there’s a war going on, maybe you could save the ass groping for later?”

Marching forward, I ate my grin. “Lieutenant Grant.”

She saluted. “Commander Cannon.”

I crushed her to me, covering a blast of emotion with my gruff tone. “Goddamn you, girl.”

In my arms, her rigid stance faltered, but her smart mouth didn’t. “Not going soft on me, sir, are you?”

I just clutched her harder until she squealed. Probably a first for First Lieutenant Liz Grant.

Eventually, I let her loose. “What are you doing here?”

She looked good. Orderly. Unhurt. Jerking her chin aside, she joked, “Heard there was a party. Didn’t want to miss it. Hey, Nate.”

Nate?
Scanning between her and my lover, I reeled back. This was my right-hand woman, who’d never been anything but levelheaded. “Did he coerce you?”

The man in question crossed his arms and glared at me while Liz rolled her eyes. “Sure. If by coerce you mean contacting spies, searching the Territories for me and sending an escort, salvaging plans, saving your sorry ass…I gotta go on?”

I looked at the ground instead of the pair of them, unsure of what to make of the situation.

She knocked me on the arm with one of her famous motherfucking punches. “Did I forget to mention your man sweetened the coercion with promises of bombs, raids, and turning our guns on the bad guys? All my favorites.” She hit my other arm. “Don’t be such a dickhead. Jesus, Nate, what do you see in him?”

“He has his moments.” He looked at me with that arched eyebrow.

“I’m sure. And I don’t wanna be privy to those.”

So this is my fucking life now? My best friend and my boyfriend doing the one-two hits on me?

I cleared my throat and stared into the mirror of her eyes. “You understand the implications of joining us?”

“Fuck’s sake, Caspar. I thought getting something up your ass besides that ax handle you usually walk around with would loosen you up some.” Strutting back a couple steps, she raised her hands, flicking her fingers. “I look stupid to you?”

Amid Blondie’s stifled laughs, I said, “No.”

Grabbing her crotch, Liz said, “I’m a big girl. I can handle this.”

A soft voice reached us. “Ah can attest to that.”

Oh, look. A cunting reunion.

Where was the peace, the joy?

“What the hell’s she doing here?” I ground out.

“You really are an ungrateful bastard, aren’t you?” Liz casually remarked, both of us watching while Farrow and Blondie exchanged some kind of fancy-pants, double-cheek, air-kiss crap. Whatever. At least it wasn’t full mouth-to-mouth contact.

“She helped Nate keep up appearances since you couldn’t keep your hands off him.”

I took offense to that. “Wait a frigging minute. He’s the one who pursued me.”

The tilt of her head was cocky. “Yeah, I’m sure you played real hard to get. You can save the whole romance story to tell to your grandkids.”

Lieutenant Grant was looking a demotion right in the eye if she kept up the insubordination. Then she swept her arm open, welcoming the petite woman to her side. “She helped Nate, and then I helped her.” Her harsh, beautiful features smoothing over, Liz dropped to Farrow’s ear and was rewarded with a peal of feminine laughter.

I scowled at the striking pair—the small curvy blonde next to Liz who looked so formidable with her short razored locks—my world turning upside down again.

“And you can stow that glare while you’re at it, Commander, preferably in your ass, if you’ve got extra room back there.” Hugging the newcomer close, she added, “She’s the spy who located me. She’s with me, not Nate.”

The dainty creature, who happened to be a goddamn spy, strolled up to me, her hand outstretched. “Commander Cannon, Ah’ve heard a lot about you.”

I harrumphed. Blondie pushed me forward. When my big paw engulfed hers, she beckoned me down. “Ah’m sorry for the misunderstandin’. Ah’ve spent a lot of time with Nathaniel over the years, Caspar, and Ah’ve never seen him as distraught as he’s been this week, just beside himself about you.” Quieting her voice to a low lilt, she said, “Nathaniel was nevah mine to have. He was nevah available to anyone, before you.”

I squeezed her hand, and she took the opportunity to dig her nails in. My eyes flicked to hers, their soft appeal compacting to harsh green nuggets. “Liz is your family just as Nathaniel’s mine. You have my word Ah’ll look after her as long as she’ll let me.”

The idea of the little woman taking care of Liz was laughable until I re-focused on the flinty eyes and biting grip of this double agent.

“I can count on you to do the same for Nathaniel?”

I grinned at her hardball methods. “We have an understanding, Farrow.”

Blondie entered the conversation, rubbing his hand over my shoulder. “I needed all the help I could get for you, honey. Farrow here took the heat off. Sometimes it takes a”—he paused, glancing at the D-P positioned in his hand, silently ticking off seconds before finishing—“village.”

A series of thunderous explosions rent the air, rocking the ground underfoot. I steadied myself while the rest of them looked unfazed. He nodded in satisfaction and carried on. “She’s a sister in the Revolution. You are my only lover.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” I brushed him off. “Never mind that stuff.” Another shock wave rolled over ground and through the sky, bringing big black clouds with it. “What the hell was that?” I pointed.

“TNT,” Liz responded.

Farrow watched dense gray smoke cruise across the treetops. “Some tear gas.”

“Bunch more hillbilly dynamite,” Blondie said.

“But who—?” I asked.

“As I was sayin’, sometimes it takes a village.” He started guiding me from the clearing.

Liz piped up from behind, “Freelanders, Revolutionaries.”

Farrow fell in step. “Don’t forget the spies.”

Their words beat a good rhythm to our retreat.

Jogging in the opposite direction of the Brier, I heard Farrow again. “A little technique perfected on the water plants.”

“What?” I halted.

“We’ll get into that later, big man. We gotta hustle.”

I stood my ground. “Oh, we’re gonna get into a lot later.” My suggestive smirk faltered with the echoing
pop-pop
of pistols, the
rat-a-tat
of automatics. “We have to help!”

Blondie blocked my retreat. “No more playin’ the hero.”

“The casualties—”

“There won’t be any. We’ve taken out the Outpost. Stragglers will be shot on sight.”

I cranked my hands to the back of my neck. “This changes everything.”

“For good.”

Knowing what I was committing to, being an outlaw, a Revolutionary, I nodded. “For the good of the people.”

Running at a fast clip in the direction of Fort Knox, we maintained a close huddle, sticking to the dark woods. As much as I was glad to see Liz, relieved she was alive and safe, I was desperate to get Blondie alone. Every step sent a painful bounce through my cock and a muttered curse from my lips.

He hung back. “You okay, big man?”

He knew I wasn’t peachy fucking keen. His eyes dancing, he wet his lips.

I jerked him to me by his collar. “I need to get my hands on you.”

“You’re not gonna hurt me, are ya?”

Sucking on the muscled cords of his throat, I stroked his ass and swatted it. “No. I have to touch you. I need to make love to you, baby.”

In a husky drawl, he called out to the women. “You two go on ahead. We’ll meet you at the fort.”

So far gone I didn’t hear their teasing volleys, I scooped him up in my arms, tearing open his jacket, shoving his shirt up to his shoulders. “Yes.”

All that flesh, for me. Chills ran across his torso, and I chased them with my tongue. He was heavy in my arms, but I wasn’t gonna drop him, and I’d be damned if he was going back down into that cold snow.

His back arched and the muscles of his chest and abdomen clenched. I muffled my face in his armpit, laughing when he chuckled. Sucking down the virile scent of him, I licked the padded line of his ribs, carving every indent and jut of muscle. I made him lean back over my arm, yanking his pants low on his hips so I could get to his groin, the dusting of dark gold hair leading to the fabric-covered bulge of his crotch.

He caught my eye while I dipped my tongue under his waistband, landing unerringly on the tip of his cock as a fat drop of preejaculate emerged.
“Mmm.”
I murmured my appreciation.

Blondie stiffened, watching something behind me.

I went on full alert.

All he did was squint, but I got his message.

I shifted him with no sudden motions, my hand landing on the pistol hanging from his shoulder holster. His fingers brushed my hip as he palmed his second weapon.

I swung Blondie to his feet, and at the same time, we raised our guns, standing side by side as a wounded, bellowing Kale barreled toward us. He must’ve taken a hit during the explosions at the Outpost, because blood spread up and down his left side.

The recoils sent our shoulders together as we fired at him, my bullet buried in his heart, Blondie’s dead center in his forehead. I wanted to empty an entire cartridge into him, but that’d be a waste of good ammo.

Placing the gun in the back of my pants, I made sure Kale stayed down while I settled Blondie’s shirt back over his chest and buttoned his jacket. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m sick of the close calls though.” He kept his piece pointed at the ground and we approached the dead bastard.

“Me too. Sure could do with some R & R.”

Using the toe of his boot, he rolled Kale over, nodding at our clean kill. “That’d be nice.”

I couldn’t resist a final kick to Kale’s ribs and a couple words instead of RIP. “Stay. Dead.”

If Liz’s appearance had been a mere interruption, Kale’s attack was a goddamn mood killer. Hours later, half a day away from the Outpost, Blondie dug around behind a giant old oak tree, swiping a fat layer of snow from a tarp to unearth the backpacks he’d hiked out for our escape. Mine was the same damn thing I’d left Alpha with eight weeks ago. A lifetime ago. Checking the contents, nice and neat the way I liked it, I closed my eyes when his lips landed on the nape of my neck.

“I got somethin’ for you.”

I spun around, only to smother my disappointment. It was my D-P. I looked at the thing like it was bugged, curling my fingers into my palm.

“G’on. It ain’t gonna bite you.”

“I don’t want any links to my past as a Corpsman.”

He stroked my face and spoke just like Eden. “You might, someday. Besides, I disabled the coms, unless you want it back on.” He waved it at me. “It has all your naturalist notes and pictures on it, remember?”

I took it reluctantly, touching the screen but not turning it on. I pocketed the thing and bent back over my pack.

“You expectin’ somethin’ else?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Huh.”

When I strained around, he looked genuinely perplexed, rubbing his jaw, the rasp of his softwhiskers carrying over to me.

Standing in front of him, I narrowed my eyes. “Yeah, actually, I was waiting for something else. And you know exactly what it is.”

“I do?” He stepped back.

I strode forward. “I want my ring back, baby.”

His smile breaking free, his face lit up. “That’s more like it.”

Mine went dark when he dropped to his knees again.

One knee, to be precise.

Bewildered, hating him down there below me, I reached for him. “Get up. I can tie my own damn bootlaces.”

That brought an even wider smile to his face, and holy shit, he was gorgeous. The uncaring mask completely dissolved, his emotions shining clear and true. “Ain’t tryin’ to tie your laces, honey. Talkin’ about tying a different kind of knot.”

His hand went to his breast pocket and reappeared with the ring sitting in his palm. “This is how they used to do it, Caspar. How a man would propose.”

I didn’t mind my heart pounding, or my ears ringing, or the way my lungs constricted this time. My hands shook and my eyes swam. “You asking for my hand?”

“Not yet. Give me a second.” He tried to keep up that smile, but it was hard with his lips trembling. Opening my hand, he stroked each of my fingers, fitting our palms together.

He poised the ring at my fingertip. “Will you marry me, Caspar Cannon?”

This time he didn’t wait for an answer. He slid the band home. I reeled him up, stating between kisses that started with his jaw and ended at his mouth, “Yes, yes. ’Course I will. You know I will. I love you, Nathaniel.”

Right then, with our arms around each other and our mouths meeting chastely with brushes of lips and murmured words of hope and future, there were a lot more important things than a victory fuck.

We just stood there, being together in the cold, but it couldn’t get ahold of us. Not this time. Not after what we’d been through, what we’d fought for.

Each other.

Our lives.

Freedom.

Love.

Tilting my face up, he kissed me with sweet, moist presses from one corner to the other. “Feel better?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

I nuzzled his neck, working down to the big tendons of his shoulder. “Think we might wanna get a move on, though.”

“You scared your delicate parts are gonna get frostbitten?” He smirked.

“No, I’m afraid your dick might freeze and fall off; then what would I do?” I winked.

Not content to be out in the cold, and definitely not thrilled about remaining within spitting distance of the Outpost, we didn’t slow down until Fort Knox loomed ahead. Its boxy night-black bulk illuminated from within, fires and candles lit by Liz and Farrow holed up inside.

Jumping the fences, we landed on a thinning patch of hard-packed snow.

A new standard flew from the flagpole, its colors flapping brightly, its message clear.
Live in Freedom. Love at Will.