In Control (The City Series) (17 page)

“Um, well, yeah. A little bit,” I replied, disguising the fear in my voice.

“Well, I know I am! Football and lacrosse. And the teachers won’t treat us like little kids anymore!” Porter raved.

As soon as school would start, Porter would forget all about me. He’d start playing sports and paying attention to the prettier girls. He’d go back to ignoring me. Who was I to think that Porter would actually
want
to date me once high school started?

Porter touched my knee under the table and I calmed the smallest bit. Each of his touches were always superior to the last. I looked up at him and smiled, still hiding my dread.

Once Mr. Henning left for work, Mrs. Henning began clearing the table. She informed us of her morning schedule, as usual, and told us that we were free to shop around the city if we’d like. Then she left the kitchen to get ready, leaving Porter and alone. We hadn’t been together since the night before, and I was dying to kiss him. It had been exactly fifteen hours since his lips were on mine, and the eagerness was building quickly. I leaned into him, and when he turned away, every ounce of self-doubt resurfaced. It took at least two weeks for me to become completely comfortable around Porter and his family, but just one rejection for it to vanish.

I looked at the ground, trying my best to conceal my sadness.

“Hey,” Porter said, grabbing my hand. “I just...I want to ask you something.”

When I peeked back up, Porter’s face had become a puzzle that I couldn’t solve. His eyebrows were pulled together. His frequent smile was replaced with an uneasy gaze. Our eyes met and my stomach clenched tightly, making me wish I hadn’t eaten so much.

“Oh. Okay. What would you like to ask me?” I looked back down at our hands. Our fingers were entwined, and it was in the way he ran his thumb across my knuckles that I knew I had nothing to be afraid of.

“Okay. So, we’ve been hanging out a lot lately. Right?”

A smile eased onto my face. His voice was shaky, like he was nervous to let the words out. His thumb continued to linger on my skin, touching my knuckles, racing across my palm, moving over my wrist.

“Right. So, here’s my question.” Porter licked his lips, then continued. “I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend.”

“Yes!” I spit out, not caring that I wore my enthusiasm proudly. I’d been waiting an entire year to hear those words leave his mouth.
He wanted me to be his girlfriend!

“Really?” Porter sounded surprised and his big blue eyes opened wide. They were the same color as the ocean, and if I knew how to swim, I’d jump right in without even holding my nose.

“Yes!” I repeated.

Fifteen hours and five minutes was a long time to wait for another kiss, but as Porter’s lips met mine, I realized that I would have waited an entire lifetime and then some.

Dinner was being served in the Kavanagh house, and as I took my seat at the grand table, I couldn’t believe how much silverware sat in front of me. Four forks, three spoons, and two knives. I had no idea which fork to use with what, and I’m pretty sure Mrs. Kavanagh was using this as some sort of test. I mean, who really sets out this much silverware for a normal meal?

“Wren,” I whispered, poking him in the side.

“What?” he whispered back.

I scooted my chair closer to his and quietly spoke. “What’s this fork for?” I pointed to the fork centered above the dinner plate.

“Kingsley, do you need help figuring out the silverware? It must be a shock seeing all of it set out like this,” Mrs. Kavanagh’s brazen voice cut in.

For one second, I allowed steam to fly out of my ears before turning to her with a polite smile. “I think I can figure it out, but thank you.”

“That’s wonderful,” Evelyn praised.

“Mom, where’s Dad?” Wren cut in.

“He should be coming down soon. The urgency at the studio couldn’t wait, I guess.”

Her annoyance came through loud and clear. I looked to Wren to see if he also noticed something was going on. He was looking at his mother in a way I’d never seen him look at anyone. His eyes told me that he was concerned. His mouth revealed that he was sad for her. I was tempted to hug him, but thought that Mrs. Kavanagh would deem it impolite to show affection at the dinner table.

“What are we having tonight, Mom?” Wren asked, obviously trying to suffocate the awkwardness in the room.

In an effort not to make eye contact with Evelyn, who was making me more and more uncomfortable, I took my time looking around the dining room. It was exactly how I imagined—excessive. Unlike the other rooms, though, this one seemed to have the most personal touch. Instead of just looking like an art museum, there were personal belongings left on the open surfaces. Family pictures sat atop the built in shelves, white floor candles lit up each corner of the room. The walls were kept white, with two large mirrors on each side of the window. The dining table looked like it might have been carved by Michelangelo, with intricate legs and matching chairs. The white lace tablecloth protected the expansive table and gave the room a more expensive flair. There were two very large chandeliers hanging above the table, with crystal beads dangling from the bulbs. For some reason, this room had white carpet, which didn’t make sense to me since I could see the most messes happening here, especially while I was a guest.

“We’re having poached lobster,” Evelyn answered. “You
do
eat seafood, right, Kingsley?”

Her eyes fixed on mine and I knew in that moment that I had to beat her at her own game. Repress all of my real emotions toward her and stay calm. What I really wanted to do was ring her neck, but then she would win.

“I love seafood,” I said, wishing I hadn’t filled myself on it earlier.

“Good,” she said as she tapped her fingers on the table. “I’m going to go check on your father.”

The moment Wren’s mother left the room, I turned to him. “Your mother hates me.”

“Kingsley, stop it,” he snapped. “She’s testing you. She’s done it to every girl I’ve ever brought home. Please, just stay cool. I can’t have you two at each other’s throats this entire trip.”

“I’m not at her throat, though I’m tempted to be,” I confessed. “Wren, she clearly thinks I’m low class.”

“She
does
not
. Like I said, she’s testing you, seeing if you’re strong enough to stand up for yourself. She’s told me ever since I started dating that she wanted me to end up with someone strong.
You
are that girl, you just need to show her.”

His words sunk in. I
was
strong. I knew that. But was I strong enough to stand up to his mother without strangling her in the process? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t even sure if this is what I signed up for. I wanted Wren, yes, but if were to spend the rest of my life with him and have to deal with his condescending mother the entire time, I don’t know it would be worth it. I definitely wasn’t strong enough to bite my tongue for the rest of my life. I’d done that too much as a child.

“Kingsley, please just
try
,” Wren pleaded.

Before I could answer, his mother walked back into the room with Mr. Kavanagh. When I looked at him, it was like seeing Wren as an older man. Same deep, brown eyes, same strong jaw. His hair was black with sprinkles of gray. He was clean-shaven, and I imagined how sexy he’d look with a beard. If I were still in high school, he would have been someone I’d gone after. His masculine presence was powerful and it was hard to turn my eyes away.

When I was in eleventh grade, I dated a forty-year-old man. He knew my age. He knew what I wanted. He gave me everything I asked for, and always understood when I told him not to talk. I ignored my issues with classmates and teachers by having as much sex as I could. The man I dated wanted the same thing and our setup was perfect. Until his wife found out.

From that moment on, I only dated unmarried men. I guess you could say I calmed down a little bit.

“You must be the girl that’s bewitched my son,” Mr. Kavanagh said as he walked toward me.

I noticed how much stronger his accent was compared to his wife and son’s. I knew that he visited South Africa often because Wren’s grandmother still lived there, so it must have helped in keeping it prominent.

I stood up and shook his hand, feeling a bit weak in the knees from his firm handshake. His grey dress shirt was tucked into a pair of black trousers, but to make the outfit a bit more casual, the top two buttons of his shirt were undone, leaving a hint of skin exposed.

“Nice to meet you,” I said nervously.

“Likewise.”

His eyes weren’t as dark as Wren’s, but they were just as telling. Looking into them, I knew he was bothered by something. He dropped my hand and greeted his son in a warm embrace, whispering something in his ear. Wren looked up and smiled in my direction and I had a feeling the secret was about me.

Once we were all finally seated, dinner was served. The poached lobster sat on a bed of finely cut vegetables and I was surprised at the rumble in my stomach after smelling the feast. I glanced at Wren’s plate, waiting to see which of his forks he’d pick up.

“Kingsley, we’re so happy to have you here,” Mrs. Kavanagh said with an artificial smile.

“I’m super happy to be here.” My reply might have been a bit over the top, and I knew that as soon as Wren scowled
in my direction.

“So, Kingsley, tell us about yourself,” Mr. Kavanagh suggested. “Our son has kept you very private.”

My attention was on Wren’s hands, watching as he chose the second fork to the left of his plate. I followed his lead and began picking at the lobster.

“There’s not much to tell,” I said, putting a bird-size bite of the food in my mouth. “I’ve lived in Brooklyn all my life.”

“Do you live close to Wren?” Mrs. Kavanagh asked, taking a sip of her red wine.

“He’s not too far from me.” I had a feeling Wren didn’t let his parents know that I had practically lived with him for the past few months.

“That’s good!” she exclaimed. “Wren used to have a thing for dating girls that lived in every state but his own.”

“Mother,” Wren warned.

Mrs. Kavanagh ran her fingers over her mouth, pointing out that her lips were sealed. I looked down at my lap and rolled my eyes. Between having to eat this food and seeing how patronizing Wren’s mother was, this dinner was a bust.

Mr. Kavanagh ate his meal silently, looking up only a few times to take a sip of his wine. There was an enormous amount of tension in the room, but I wasn’t sure if it was coming from Mrs. Kavanagh and me or if it was between Wren’s parents. In all the time Wren and I had been together, I knew very little of them. It wasn’t to say I wasn’t interested in learning, but when Wren and I were alone, which is how we spent most of our time together, we did little talking.

One night, he did expose the fact that his parents had almost gotten divorced when he was a sophomore in high school. He explained that they were unhappy and it was completely obvious when you were around them. He was so distressed when he told me. He’d said that his entire life, he looked up to their marriage and hoped to have something like that someday. I wondered if their marriage was back on the rocks.

A cell phone rang, and looking at his mother’s face, I knew it was Mr. Kavanagh’s. He abruptly stood from the table and walked out of the room, giving no indication that he was sorry for excusing himself. Wren’s mother looked down at her lap, her face practically crumbling in embarrassment.

“Mom, are you okay?”

Wren’s worried voice allowed me to see how much this was breaking him up inside. I looked from him to his mother, wondering if maybe I should leave the room as well.

“I’m fine, Wren.” Mrs. Kavanagh stood from the table, making an excuse that she needed to check something in the kitchen.

Wren and I were left alone in the dining room, surrounded by half-eaten plates of lobster. He stayed quiet, staring straight ahead out the window.

“Wren, can I do anything for you?” I offered. I wasn’t sure what I should be doing. In the past, whenever a guy needed consoling, I used my body as the answer. For most men, it worked.

“I’m gonna take a walk on the beach.”

Wren walked out of the room before I had a chance to follow him. When I did catch up to him, he was already halfway down the driveway.

“Wren, wait!” I called out. I grabbed onto his shirt, stopping him from walking farther. “Talk to me.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be this way, you know?” Wren said, turning around and meeting my eyes. “Your ex-boyfriend wasn’t supposed to be here. My parents weren’t supposed to be fighting. We were supposed to have a good time.”

“We
are
having a good—”

“No, we’re not,” he cut in. “This is bullshit. We shouldn’t have come.” The smile that played on his lips wasn’t a happy one. He shook his head and tried to release my grasp on him.

“Stop. Please,” I begged. “I’m trying!”

Wren stopped pulling away, dropping his arms at his sides. A path of lights lit the driveway, and it allowed me to see all of pain built up in Wren’s eyes.

“K, I’m sorry for bringing you here.”

“Why are you sorry? I’m happy I’m here. I promise. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” I confessed. I’d never been so open with my feelings before. I kept them hidden, only letting out snippets. But now, seeing Wren this broken, I felt the urge to reveal those parts of me. “Listen, I’m here for you. And no matter what happens, I’ll be here by your side.”