IMPULSE: Companion to The PULSE Series (3 page)

"Help me, please." She smiles at my reflection in the mirror. "I only need your help with the necklace. Don't touch the dress."

I throw my head back in laughter. The first time she asked me to zip her up this afternoon I pushed the dress down and pinched her nipples while she rubbed her hand over her wetness until she came in the mirror for me. This time I'll try and behave. "I won't touch the dress." I pitch my hands in the air in playful surrender. "I'll help with the necklace and then we'll go."

She nods as her eyes stare into mine in the mirror. "You're so handsome, Nathan."

I pull my gaze away from hers. I do it as much to focus on the small clasp of the necklace as to regain my composure. She sees into the deepest parts of me. She knows me better than anyone ever has and she still adores me, flaws and all. It's moments like this when I question whether I'm good enough for her. She's perfection and innocence woven into the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. I'm jaded, used and cynical. I can't help but wonder what I've done in this lifetime to deserve this much happiness.

"Nathan?" Her soft voice calls to me as I stare at the clasp. My fingers are still inches apart. I haven't moved since she told me how handsome she thinks I am. "Is it broken?"

"No." I fasten it before adjusting the chain around her neck. "It's perfect, Jessica. Just like you."

***

"Have you ever fucked in the backseat of a Cadillac?" A woman's voice assaults me from the right.

I feel as though I've been transported back to my teenage years. Judging by the reception hall and the outfits of the majority of the guests, I'd say I'm right on target with that estimation. Now, I'm being propositioned by a woman who looks like a librarian, knee high wool socks and all.

"Did you hear me, gorgeous?" She steps closer and I inch back towards the makeshift wooden bar.

"I'll have a bourbon neat, and …"

"I'll have a Bloody Mary." She interrupts me with a wink and I literally shudder. I stare over her shoulder to where Jessica is huddled in a group with her sister and the bridesmaids. I smile to myself as I watch her pull on the top of the dress, trying to keep her breasts where they belong. My eyes dart across the room to Josh Redmond, her ex-boyfriend. He's sitting at his table, his eyes honed in on the woman I'll be crawling into bed with later tonight.

"Thanks for buying me a drink." The librarian leans closer still. I'm trapped between her and a wall.

I stare down at her briefly. "The drinks are free."

"You're not from here, are you?" Her hand leaps to my lapel. "Your suit is real nice."
I want to reach up and swat her hand away but I have no idea who she is. For all I know she's one of Jessica's oldest and dearest friends. That's hard to imagine, given the fact she doesn’t talk about anyone she left behind when she ran away from here to Manhattan.

"Where are you from?" she asks as she presses her body into mine.

I lurch my hips back quickly trying to meld into the plaster which covers all the walls in this school gymnasium. As much as Jessica's sister and her husband wish it looked like a reception hall, it doesn't. The basketball hoops on the opposite ends of the room can't be disguised, even though it appears that someone tried to hide them beneath a mile of colorful streamers.  "Manhattan," I offer. The less details the better. This conversation is going nowhere quickly.

"Have you ever had a one night stand?"

I almost spit the entire mouthful of bourbon I just gulped on her plain yellow dress. Have I ever had a one night stand? Jesus. This woman has no idea who she's talking to. "Why?" I bark back. My sex life is none of her business.

"I'm horny."

It's a declaration I should have seen coming like a freight train on a runaway track. The way she's shifting back and forth on her brown heels is enough of a clue that the woman's crotch is on fire. Even if Jessica wasn't in the picture, I'd turn this one down. Something tells me she'd eat me alive before we even got to the parking lot.

"Keep your panties on." I tip my drink in her direction. "I'm taken."

"By who?" She dips her chin and raises a brow, challenging me to answer.

"Jessica Roth," I counter. "She's that beautiful blonde over there."

She turns sharply in Jessica's direction. We both gawk as we watch her run her hands over the front of her ill fitted dress. Her left hand stops briefly as she subtly traces a slow path over her left breast with her index finger.

"Wow." The librarian pulls in a heavy breath. "She's even hotter now."

I stare at Jessica as she blows me a kiss across the room. Normally, a sticky sweet gesture like that would be a turn off, but seeing her lips pursed together like that makes my cock jump to life. I have to pull in a steely breath before the librarian notices it. "You know her?" I ask, hoping it will keep her gaze on my face and not on my groin.
"We went to high school together." Her eyes dart down to my pants and I swear I see her tongue smooth a path over her bottom lip. "I'm Charity."

The name doesn't suit her in the least. "Nathan," I offer back before finishing the plastic glass of bourbon the bartender offered me. "Another?"  I place it down and nod at him.

He murmurs something under his breath before he refills the glass to the half-way point.

"You two are dating?" She pulls her hand through her short brown hair.

I take a small sip of the liquid, grateful for the slight buzz I'm starting to feel. I haven't eaten anything since this morning and judging by the lack of any food on the banquet tables, I'd say dinner is hours away yet. "We live together."

"You're her rebound?"

The question bites and I get the unmistakable impression that was its intention. Why wouldn't it sting? Virtually every person in this room knows Jessica as the other half of Josh. Even their names belong together. Why the fuck did I keep insisting we come to this wedding? I could be back in my apartment buried in Jessica's body hearing her scream my name and my name only.

"I'm not her rebound." I don't want to sound as angry as I do." Jessica loves me. She never loved Josh the way she loves me."

Her eyes dash to Jessica before they settle back on me." I wasn't talking about Josh," she chuckles." I'm talking about him." She stops there, right fucking there before adding anything else.

I stare at her wishing I knew what the hell she was talking about. Who the fuck is she referring to? I know Jessica's had three lovers. She told me. I practically fucked it out of her months and months ago. I had to know. My imagination couldn't shut up until I knew how many men had been inside of her. I just assumed that Josh was the most important one. He's the only one she ever talked about. They were together for years before she bolted from Bloomfield, Connecticut and landed in New York City.

Charity can't shut the hell up. "You have no idea who I'm talking about do you?" Her tone is peevish.

I stare at Jessica across the room. I watch a few wayward hairs fall out of the bun and onto her shoulders. I look at her body. It's so beautiful. It's soft, supple, and made for fucking. For the first time since I fell in love with her, I feel entirely in the dark. There's no way in hell I'm letting the librarian have the satisfaction of knowing that I don't have a fucking clue about who she's talking about. I can't believe I've never heard Jessica talk about either of the other two guys she's slept with. Why didn't I press for more? Why did I drop it?

"Charity, as fetching as his conversation has been I need to go see my girl." I slam my now empty glass down on the bar. The motion causes the bar to teeter back and forth slightly. I push past her trying to maneuver around her.

She steps into my path almost tripping over her own shoes. It's obvious she's a lightweight. She can't even handle half of a Bloody Mary. I reach to grab her elbow helping to level her steps. My mind is racing, my heart is pounding and all I can hear over and over in my mind is the word
him
.

"None of us thought that Jessica would ever get over the senator," she whispers." It would take someone like you to make that happen."

The senator? The fucking senator? What the hell has Jessica been hiding from me? I close my eyes briefly trying to wash away the image of a teenage Jessica with a man old enough to be a senator. It doesn't work. I rummage through my memory grasping for anything she may have said to me about a man who worked for the government. Why the fuck didn't she tell me about this?

"How long have you been with her?" Charity isn't one to give up easily. Did she hook up with you right after she moved?"

The question feels like a sharp slap across my cheek. Jessica was at that club two weeks after she moved from Connecticut to Manhattan. She told me all she wanted was a random fuck. I thought it was all just for fun the night I met her. Then I thought it was because she was running away from Josh. Maybe the entire time she's been running away from the man that she loves. Maybe that's why she can't say yes whenever I ask her to marry me.

"I'm so glad that's over," she says softly. "Josh didn't even try to talk to me once."

I lean against the wall of the elevator my eyes glued to her face. "He knew I'd deck him if he did." I playfully curl my hands into fists as I take on a boxer's stance.

Her hand darts to cover her mouth as she giggles. I knew the moment I danced with her that she had too much champagne. "You're my knight in shining armor. You'll always take care of me, Nathan. Won't you?"

The words stab through me like a hot spear. "I would do anything for you Jessica. Anything," I say without any hesitation. It's true. I would do anything she asked of me.

She stares at me across the elevator as it makes its way slowly to the twenty-second floor of the only hotel that had any available rooms. "Will you let me suck your cock?" She pulls her tongue over her top lip as the words fill the small space. Her hands slide up from her waist to the top of the dress. She slowly, deliberately, and seductively pulls it down revealing her round, full breasts.

"Christ, Jessica," I growl at her. "What if someone gets on?"

She takes small steps across the elevator until she's standing directly in front of me. "I guess they'll get to watch." Her hands jump to my waist. Her lips trail a path across my chin. "I've been thinking about the taste of you all night."

The lift jars to a sudden stop on our floor. I quickly slide my suit jacket off my shoulders and wrap it around her body. "I'm going to come so hard in your mouth, Jessica." I pull her into me as the door flies open. "I'm going to give you everything you need."

She's on me the moment I push open the hotel room door. I have no time to react. Her dress is on the floor. Her panties are right behind. She stands in front of me completely naked and exposed save for the nude heels she's wearing. "Take off your pants, Nathan."

"Do it yourself, Jessica." I nod towards the carpeted floor. "Get on your knees and slide my cock into your mouth. Suck on it hard. Make it good. Make me come."

She drops to her knees without an ounce of indecision. "Talk to me, Nathan. Tell me what you want."

I don't resist as she unbuckles my pants and slides the zipper down. I lean back against the wall looking down at her. "Roll your tongue over the head. Slide your hands around it."

"I love this. Your cock is beautiful." Her full lips graze over the head before she pulls it entirely into her mouth.

"Fuck." The word escapes from deep within me. I can't control it. I've been sucked off by so many women whose names I can't even remember. None of them came close to comparing to her. Not one of them made me feel the way that Jessica does. "Cup my balls in your hand. Squeeze them, Jessica."

She moans around the heavy root. "Nathan, it's so good."

"So good," I say through clenched teeth. My hands drop to her head. I wind my fingers through her hair, releasing the bun. I pull sharply on the strands, helping her find her rhythm. I fuck her mouth slowly and rhythmically.

She adjusts herself on the floor. Her hands circle my cock as they glide up and down, pulling my desire from deep within my core.

"I'm going to fucking come down your throat, Jessica," I hiss. "You're going to swallow every last drop."

"Do it," she challenges. "Give it all to me, Nathan."

That's all the encouragement I need. I jerk my hips forward and yank on her hair as I feel the first rush of my desire shoot into her mouth. "God damn you, Jessica. Fuck me."

***

"Will you brush my hair for me?" She steps out of the steam filled washroom, the only towel covering her, wrapped tightly around her head. "I love when you do that for me."

I help her into one of the terry cloth robes I found hanging in the closet of our deluxe suite. She watches in silence as I roll up the arms and adjust the belt. It's obvious that the robe was designed for someone twice her size. "I'll get your hairbrush." I kiss her gently on her forehead. "You sit there, on the edge of the bed."

I don't look back as I turn into the washroom. I switch on the fan. The loud whir coming from it another indication of the age of the building. The torn and faded green wallpaper that drapes the area behind the mirror is damp from the steam.  I race my hand over the mirror, staring at my reflection. I need to ask her. I've barely said two words to her since she blew me. She wanted me to take a shower with her but I couldn't. My mind kept imagining her down on her knees, with some faceless senator's cock stuffed down her throat. I have to clear the images away. I need to understand what he meant to her, and if her reluctance to commit to me is because she's still bound to him in her heart.