Impulse (42 page)

“Get out,” Logan said sharply. “You’re upsetting her.” The door clicked shut.

“Silver, I can sense your discomfort. I’m going to turn you over real slow… Easy… That’s it.”

I mentally sighed with the change in position. When he rolled away, I understood that it wasn’t the bed that was shaking—it was me. An unrecognizable sound poured from my throat and I once again felt the sticky warmth of his chest.

“I’m not leaving you,” he said in a low voice. “The cold is the hardest part; it’ll be over soon.”

His voice was gentle and rich with emotion. It relaxed my body as if he were summoning an unexplained power through his vocal chords that worked on my mind like a narcotic.

“I know what you’re thinking.” A finger tapped my nose. “Get off the pity wagon.”

Could he hear the snort in my mind? Probably not. But it made me feel better.

As he stroked my hair, all I could think about was how I wanted him to talk to me. My fingers slipped around his side and I nuzzled into his neck.

“Do you recall the night I spent with you in the hotel room?” he asked. “That was the night I confessed you were my other half.”

I shook my head, not remembering him saying anything along those lines.

“You didn’t hear it because you weren’t meant to. I never planned to reveal this to you, Silver,” he said, drifting off. I felt the firm press of his arms around my back. “Relax, female.”

The door clicked open and Justus gave an order that made Logan tense.

“Let me take over.”

Simon tried to smooth over the request. “He’s a Thermal and she’s not improving. If her core temperature falls too low then it will compromise her light. He’s her Ghuardian, let him do his job and ease her pain. Go stretch your legs, mate. You look like something the cat—”

Logan growled. “Do what you must but I won’t leave this room.”

There was a moment of separation and it felt like someone threw me in a mountain of snow. The bed depressed and Simon’s voice went up a pitch. “You’re the one who said that it must be skin on skin. Would you rather her be in pain?”

“Do
not
look at her body,” Logan said in a low, threatening voice. “Don’t even touch her.”

“Don’t tell me how to handle my Learner, Chitah.”

The sheets were sandpaper fashioned from a billion needles. Justus smelled like a workout and his large hand braced around my back as his heavy arm rested on top of mine.

“Put away your fangs or you will be forcibly removed. By law, I am responsible for this Learner and if you want to challenge me, then I will rope your ass to a tree without blinking and summon every Creator who ever lost a Learner to you. Retract them. Now.”

Delicious heat melted across my body and I pressed my forehead against his sticky chest and sighed. It was the first relief I’d felt from this nightmare and the tremors began to subside. “Thank you,” I whispered.

There’s something indescribably wonderful about waking up in the arms of a man. I didn’t need my eyes to know the chest I was rubbing my face against belonged to Logan. His scent filled my nose like a thunderstorm—masculine, powerful, dark.

“Feeling better?”

“A little,” I said in a hoarse voice.

I licked my dry lips and felt something with a hard edge tap against them.

“Drink.”

It wasn’t easy to wrap my mouth around the straw; the water sloppily shot up and dribbled down my chin, but it eased the burn in my throat and I nodded.

“Don’t move,” he said. I’d never heard Logan sound so drained as if he were battling exhaustion. “Your body processed a lot of venom. The first few hours you vomited blood and we had to double up on the sheets when it came out in your tears.”

Blind or not, I slammed my eyes shut. Of
all
people to see me in that condition. Everyone talks about how the perfect guy will hold your hair back when you’re throwing up, but how could any man want me after seeing that?

“The venom settled in your blood and ate away at your light. When power escapes from your body, you get cold, right? Multiply that times a thousand and that’s what our venom does. Adam tried to help but his power is limited. You fought through it well,” he said with admiration, threading his fingers through my hair. “I’ve never met a female with so much courage in the face of death.”

I smiled in my mind because it wasn’t the first time that I’d faced death. I was becoming quite a pro at it. “You thought I was going to die?”

“I did this to a Mage once. He suffered and died. I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Logan?”

His fingers snagged in the tangles of my hair. “I’m here.”

“You’re naked.” And I felt it all the way down to my feet.

His chest rocked with laughter. “I am.”

“Didn’t take advantage, did you?” I said with a half smile. We were locked so tightly together that our bodies felt as one.

“Nudity is not enough to turn me on; your pain is not an aphrodisiac. I never looked at you. I… kept my word,” he whispered in my ear.

I wanted to laugh at how silly that sounded given the circumstance—because I hardly cared. But it was endearing and I wouldn’t mock him. “Logan?”

“Hmm?”

“Are the lights out?”

“Don’t think about it. The venom still courses through your veins.”

“Maybe the gods are trying to tell me something,” I muttered.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not even a year in to being a Mage and I’ve been murdered, tortured, kidnapped, almost burned alive, survived a bomb, was bitten by a Chitah… what am I missing?”

“Me?”

“Oh yeah…
you
.”

Soft lips melted against mine and moved to my cheek. The bristles from his jaw should have bothered me, but they didn’t. I loved the intimate feel of his face against mine.

“Breed life is no walk in the park,” he said. “Former humans have more mishaps in their first few years. They’re too green to know how to live in this world and appreciate the dangers. Someday we should compare stories. I bet I could trump you as I was foolish in my youth.”

“I heard about the bear.”

The pillow rustled. “Did you now? Hmm. Yes, I was quite young.
Leopold
enjoys telling that story far more than I like hearing it.”

“Why have I been naked this whole time?”

“Our venom moves through the skin and attacks the nerve endings. The only comfort that seems to dull it is heat and skin. Anything else is painful, as you know. Enough talk; we need to keep you warm.” Logan threw his leg over mine and shifted closer.

“I’m a little too tired right now to be mortified that Justus saw me naked. Thanks for giving me that memorable experience that we can bring up at all of our future reunions. I’m sure by now he’s already drawing up the papers to make me independent.”

“That wasn’t my idea,” he muttered.

“I thought you would have gone into thermonuclear meltdown.” I said, stretching a little.

He nipped my earlobe lightly. “I see your fiery tongue is warming up. I had to swallow my pride.”

A short laugh escaped and I rolled to my back. “I didn’t realize you had such a tremendously
huge
… throat.”

It was awkward not being able to read his face.

“Tell me about you and Tarek,” I said.

Logan took his time tucking a thin blanket up to my chin, and the feel of it didn’t bother me. “Katrina was my mate, but she was
his
kindred spirit. Tarek never declared it in front of our elders. That’s why he could claim you at the Gathering without rebuke. I only found out because Katrina confided in me when I began courting her openly. We met on a street corner when her hat blew off and I chased it,” he said wistfully. “Their courtship was secret and he didn’t prove himself a worthy mate. In the end, she wanted a male who wasn’t ashamed of her.”

“Why did you chase her if she wasn’t your kindred?”

“I was young and Leo warned me of the consequences, but I loved her. Tarek became obsessed when she rejected him. Even after we were mated he still tried to court her. Despite how he did it secretly, it was still his right, but it was insulting to Katrina.”

“Even though you were married?”

“The law allows fair competition only among kindred spirits. They respect the bond enough to give the male a chance to prove his worth, even if his intended is mated with another. Tarek threatened me instead of making an open challenge. If I had died, then he would have faced punishment. Only making his claim public could have acquitted him from the crime, but I’d be willing to bet he would have suffered the consequences rather than claim that female,” Logan said with contempt.

“Why didn’t he make it public?”

“He was embarrassed by her status, but it didn’t stop him from wanting her. She came from a low-ranking family and it would have caused a stir. He was also courting another female from a powerful territory at the time. Her brother was a Lord, and I presume it would have been an ideal match between families. That arrogant prick thought he could have his cake and eat it too.” Logan paused and grief filled his voice. “The young she carried… it was his. He forced himself on her.”

I touched his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“She chose not to make the accusation public—afraid that Tarek might try and take her child away. The scandal never got out. His brothers threatened to expose his secret to the woman he was dating, so Tarek ended it before she found out. They were right to save that female the shame.”

Katrina must have been frightened of Tarek to not seek justice. But then again, would the risk of losing her child be worth it? I couldn’t imagine facing such a sacrifice.

“Could you have loved his baby?”

“I kissed her belly and told her I would love that child as my own. It wasn’t a lie.” Logan quieted and swallowed hard. “One month before I would have held him in my arms, she was murdered by a Mage I was in debt to. Tarek paid him off to kill me, but the Mage decided he would have a little fun of his own. I’ve wanted to kill Tarek for a hundred years.”

“What happened to the Mage?”

“What do you think?”

The door creaked and Simon interrupted. “There’s an awful lot of chattering in here.”

“Hey, Simon.”

“Bloody hell,” he sighed. “Put a fright in me like that again and… Are you hungry?”

“Not right now. Maybe in a little bit.”

The door clicked shut.

“Why did you tell me before that the baby was yours?”

“Chitahs respect the family above all else. It was the right thing to do—you can’t punish a child for how they’re conceived.”

“My lips are dry,” I said quietly.

Butterflies unexpectedly awoke from their slumber when gentle lips touched mine and his tongue slipped across my bottom lip. “Then let me wet them,” he whispered. “When your body is cold, I will give you warmth.” The blanket moved away and he slid against me—skin to skin—pushing his thick leg between mine.

“Mr. Cross?”

“Hmm?”
How could one sound from his mouth be so sexy?

“I feel well enough to bathe and I want to do it alone. Can you run me some bubbles?”

“Whatever you desire, my raven.”

Chapter 33

Logan wrapped my body up in a clean sheet and carried me to the bathroom.
I couldn’t argue about it since my legs were weak. He placed everything I needed within reach and I soaked for a long time in the hot water, immersed in my thoughts. Would this be enough for Tarek to back down? Something told me this wasn’t the end of it.

The water was getting cold, so I pulled the plug and waited for the tub to empty before drying off. It was as if my muscles had atrophy and I called Logan in to help. It was frustrating to feel like an invalid, but he made those feelings go away with his patience and encouragement for me to do things on my own. I slipped into one of my oversized shirts and a robe that belonged to Justus. It was long in the arms but carried his smell and made me feel safe.

Still blind, I clung to anything with familiarity. For the longest time I held the little wolf that Finn had carved, admiring it all over again with the details in each groove.

Logan made me walk around the room to strengthen my muscles, and I stumbled persistently in order to regain my independence.

Living out the rest of my days locked away in my bedroom like a recluse held no appeal. Logan bundled my feet in a pair of socks, and we made a slow journey to the training room. I tripped over the mat and laughed when he snatched the back of my robe and snapped me back like a rubber band. Finding the floor switch for the lift was a challenge, but Logan had me count the steps from the wall.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, Ghuardian. I’m a little hungry.”

“Watch the rug and don’t let her fall,” Justus barked as we entered the dining room.

I took my seat on the bench, feeling the indentations on the wooden table with my fingertips—something I’d never noticed before. My nostrils were flaring, trying to decipher all the different smells that blended together.