Impossible Desires (novella) (7 page)

“He is my late husband’s illegitimate son,” Eleanor whispered in his ear. “He’s been very good to me.”

Gareth flushed and held her tighter. That explained a lot.

“Yes, she is unwell. I need to take her to bed immediately.”

The butler bounded up the stairs and opened the door to her room.

Gareth walked up the stairs and gently maneuvered Eleanor’s form through the door.

“Thank you,” he nodded to the butler before the young man closed the door behind them.

“Thank you for bringing me to bed.” Eleanor whispered, her arms still clinging to his neck. She obviously didn’t want him to go. Gareth sat down on the edge of the bed and held her tight.

“You haven’t told me what you need of me.”

Eleanor lifted her head. “You would stay even if we can’t make love?”

Gareth snorted. Was she jesting?

“Of course I will. I love holding you through the night. This week has been lonely without you by my side.”

He flushed lightly when he realized what he was admitting – though it was probably past time he said something.

“You mean a lot more to me than just a bedfellow, Eleanor. Please know that.”

He turned his body and gently placed her on the bed, turning back the covers.

“And I can remember lots of times we
didn’t
make love,” he joked, picking her up again and putting her on her feet so that he could help her undress.

Eleanor felt Gareth’s hands lift her dress off over her head and smiled to herself. He was right. She didn’t need to open her legs to please him. She had done so many other ways before.

She allowed Gareth to play lady’s maid, removing everything except her chemise before he moved away to undress himself. Her nipples peaked as she watched him remove his clothes. When his shirt came off, a flood of longing swept her lower body. He was magnificent. All rippling muscles and smooth expanse of healthy, taut skin. When his breeches came off too, Eleanor groaned when she saw the long, hard cock that emerged.

Gareth flushed and jumped quickly into bed.

“Don’t worry yourself, Eleanor. I’m sorry I can’t control my body around you.”

Eleanor felt the power at his submission wash over her.

“You will call me Mistress, my pet,” she purred, hearing her own voice change. Gone were the cramps and the melancholy. She was a woman in charge with a gorgeous man in her bed. The question was what was she going to do with him?

Eleanor stripped off her chemise and rubbed her nipples between her fingertips.

“Just seeing you naked makes me want you so badly.”

“But we can’t…” Gareth swallowed and stopped. She saw him realize that whatever she said would happen, was going to happen. That trust impressed her immeasurably.

“No, we won’t be taking these off tonight,” Eleanor indicated her padded underclothes and climbed on top of the bed. “But I have many other ways of pleasing you.”

Gareth’s eyes lit up as he watched her crawl across the bed and pull the blankets back.

“Whatever you like, Mistress.”

Eleanor looked at thick appendage that she loved so much. It was fully extended and already glistened with pre-come.

“When did you last come? You look ready to explode.”

Gareth smiled and shuffled further down in the bed.

“Eight days ago with you, Mistress. I am almost there just looking at you.”

Eleanor reached across the bed and grabbed the bottle of oil.

She lubricated her hands and the valley between her breasts. Placing the bottle back she reached out to grab his beautiful cock.

“What about you, Mistress?” he groaned as she ran her oiled hands over the head and shaft.

A sense of accomplishment and love ran over Eleanor. What man ever worried about his woman’s pleasure?

“You are mine to take care of. I must see to your needs. You can make it up to me in a few days.”

Eleanor arranged herself to lie between his legs, and wrapped her breasts around his oversized cock.

He groaned in rapture, shaking in his effort to remain still.

“Mistress that looks so good.” He groaned again, looked down at her and closed his eyes tightly, as though he was afraid to look.

Eleanor wanted to laugh. She was intoxicated by the power her beautiful man gave her. For it was a gift that he gave her, she knew that well.

“Thrust between my breasts. I want to feel you come all over my neck.”

Her pet didn’t wait a moment. He lifted his hips and began to thrust. The oil lubricated both of them, assisting in the slide of flesh. Eleanor felt her nipples harden in arousal. She received so much pleasure out of his pleasure when she had the power of giving and receiving., It made all the difference.

“Mistress, I am going to come. Please may I come?” He looked down at her with pleading eyes, thrusting faster and faster.

“Come all over me. Now.”

Thus given permission, Eleanor’s earl shot his seed all over her neck and his belly. Jet after jet streamed out of him. His shout of triumph and pleasure caused her body to tighten in appreciation.

Only a few days and she could join him in such bliss.

Eleanor kissed his belly once, licking at his seed and making blissful noises in her throat. He really did taste delicious. She rolled on to her back and shuffled up so that she lay on the pillow beside him, pointing to the washstand.

“Clean me, and then yourself.”

She lay back on the bed and smiled to herself. Power had its advantages.

He returned next to her within moments, running the warm washcloth over her neck and breasts. It was so nice to feel cared for, and pampered in such a way. Perhaps he could bathe her at other times too.

She remained still while he washed himself too, and opened her arms for him when he climbed into bed with her.

He nestled his head between her breasts and wrapped his arms around her. Eleanor smiled again. She would have thought it would be strange to hold such a large man to her breast, but in reality, it worked beautifully.

“Thank you, Mistress,” he whispered before settling into sleep.

Eleanor lay awake for a long time after he fell asleep, stroking his hair and dreaming about their possible future together.

“I love you, Gareth.” And they were the last words Eleanor said that night.

Sitting at his club playing cards was torture for Gareth. He was becoming obsessed – he wanted to be with Eleanor all the time, not just on the few nights a week he was allowed. He was considering rebelling, or perhaps proposing. The second option would get him what he wanted – her by his side every night.

Perhaps he could control more of their relationship outside of the bedroom because he wanted some power over when he could see her. Not just sitting and waiting for her to contact him. He still didn’t want to take charge in their bedroom. She was the best lover he had ever had, and she fulfilled his every fantasy. But he wanted more of her – more time, more dinners, and more nights in her bed.

The next day an invitation arrived for an afternoon tea at a friend’s house. Gareth abhorred such events but wondered if Eleanor would also be going.

He fashioned a note, inviting her if she hadn’t been already, and sent it off with a footman.

Less than an hour later that same footman arrived home with another note accepting his invitation.

He shivered in anticipation.

******

The afternoon tea was going well. Eleanor sat at the main table with several ladies of the
ton
.

Of course she had been invited separately, but had been thrilled when Gareth had sent her a personal invitation. She wanted them to have a chance to spend time alone outside of the bedroom too.

“The Earl of Osborne,” the footman announced, and Eleanor turned to watch Gareth enter the room. He was spectacular in his afternoon finery, and though she preferred him naked, no one else need know that.

He made his way directly over to her, for he wasn’t subtle in his attention.

“Good afternoon, Lady Rossette. It is lovely to see you again.” Gareth bowed directly in front of her and she stood up, curtsying to her lord.

“And how lovely to see you, Lord Osborne. How are you today?” She offered her hand and felt her lower body clench when he gently kissed her knuckles. She had missed his mouth.

“Very well, thank you.”

She sat again as he turned his attention to the other ladies in the group.

Lady Newton, a rather sour woman not much older than Eleanor, poked her nose in the air.

“You are courting Lady Rossette, Lord Osborne?”

Eleanor hid her smile in her cup of tea.
Let’s see how he handles the jealous and spiteful women of her circles.

“Yes, I am, Lady Newton.” He smiled and bowed politely, his eyes straying to hers. He looked worried.

“Have you been to her country estate?”

Gareth looked at her, but she didn’t indicate what he should say. He was a man who had grown up amongst the London
ton
– he should be able to handle himself.

“I have dined once at Lady Rossette’s country estate, yes. It is very beautiful.”

Lady Newton smiled snidely. “Oh
dined
, did you? Is that the new word for
affaire
nowadays? I never can keep on top of the latest
ondit
.”

Eleanor heard several ladies around them gasp – did this woman have any manners? She opened her mouth to tell the jealous woman how she felt about such language. She was a widow, and a titled lady. If she wanted to have a single gentleman visit her house, she could.

Gareth growled slightly in warning and spoke first.

“Lady Rossette organized an invitation so that I could have the opportunity to purchase a horse I wanted. It was very thoughtful of her.”

A love that she had never felt before went winging through her heart as she turned to look at her savior. Would he always defend her? Always look after her the way he did now?

“How is Apollo, my lord?” She turned her back on Lady Newton and stood.

“Very well, I thank you, my lady. Would you take a turn about the room with me?”

She smiled at the other ladies and put her hand in his. “Of course, my lord. You must try some of the pastries. Lady Glenda has hired the most magnificent French chef.”

They walked over to the tables laid out with the most decadent of afternoon tea foods.

“What do you recommend, my lady?” Gareth asked, picking up a plate.

Eleanor pointed to three cakes and watched as he carefully chose two of each for them.

“Thank you for before.” She dropped her voice and hoped no one was listening in. There were a lot of people in such a small room.

Gareth smiled his society smile but lowered his voice. “That woman is lucky she still has all her hair. I am in the mood to find a pair of scissors and hack it all off.”

Eleanor covered her mouth with her hand as a giggle erupted.

“Oh no, Gareth, that is too much. She was just jealous. I’m sure she wanted you whilst she was courting her horrible husband.”

Gareth looked back over at the group of women and shrugged, guiding her to a place where she could sit to enjoy their food.

“I don’t care, Eleanor. I have waited my whole life for you and no one is going to insult you in my presence.”

She froze with a lemon tart halfway to her mouth. Had he just implied that he didn’t want anyone but her?

“Well…”

She didn’t know what to say, he looked down at her, his eyes brimming with love and a little uncertainty.

“I’ve been waiting for you too.”

*****

Eleanor mulled over their last encounter for three days. She knew that Gareth needed more than he was currently getting from her, and she wanted to please him more than anything. He was satisfied with her domination, she was sure. But he was in charge of every other part of his life and she wanted to give him the freedom to take control in the bedroom if he so wanted.

The idea terrified her. She could probably handle a relatively normal, loving dynamic, similar to how he had made love to her the last time they had been together. But she wasn’t sure if she could be his submissive. The old fears her husband had instilled in her were still there. No matter how much power Gareth gave her in the bedroom, it could never erase that fear of being powerless to another person. Perhaps she should take away the roleplaying and just balance the power in their relationship?

No, she didn’t want that either. She loved the bondage and handling the crop. She loved the power and the play. She would miss it terribly, and there were so many things she had yet to try.

The answer was in her submission to him. Could she trust him enough to allow him not only free access to her body, but also to engage in play where she may be bound? Gagged? Penetrated in different ways?

A shudder went through Eleanor. She was truly petrified.

“Stop it,” she said aloud. “He is dead, he cannot hurt you anymore.”

The words settled her and she slowed her pacing. Talking out loud seemed to help. Perhaps the words would be less scary outside of her head?

“Did I enjoy seeing him tied up?”

Eleanor nodded her head. The silk restraints would feel fantastic. Yes, she wouldn’t like to be restricted, but Gareth would never hurt her. Would he?

He gained so much pleasure from her whipping him. Would she like that?

“Probably not. Though, how would I know?”

Her breath hitched in her chest as the realization settled in.

“I am going to try. I will give him control, and if he loves me, he will not hurt me.”

And he’ll let me get out when I need to
. A grin stretched her lips wide. It was time to call her Master.

*****

Gareth bounded up the steps to Eleanor’s front door, powering up the last few steps, determined to beat that infernal butler.

The door swung back and revealed his Mistress in the plainest day dress he had ever seen her in.

“Good morning, Eleanor.” He bowed out of courtesy and was shocked when she curtseyed so low her nose was barely off the ground.