Impossible (5 page)

CHAPTER 10

"Well," said Lucy privately to Zach, after Leo had forced Soledad to lie down on the sofa with an ice pack on her bloody nose. "So much for prom."

"Do you care?" asked Zach. It flashed into his mind that Lucy could change into jeans, and then he'd take her out for pizza. He made a little motion with his head to indicate that they should at least move out of the living room and away from Soledad and Leo.

Not to mention that man Padraig Seeley, who you'd think would have had the sensitivity to leave. But Seeley was lingering, smiling, evidently still expecting to be fed his lamb kebab dinner, which he had just offered to take charge of in the kitchen. "I'm a fair cook," he was saving. Then he flashed a smile filled with white teeth at Lucy. "Don't worry about your beau. Lucinda. I feel sure he'll be back. You'll go to your prom just exactly as you planned. You might even, one day, feel as if this little interruption was exactly what needed to happen."

Zach controlled his desire to punch the man. He gestured again to Lucy, and she walked with him outside to the battle-scarred front yard. Zach made a mental note to clean it all up tomorrow morning. All that glass—it would be difficult. Meanwhile, they should cordon off the yard from the neighborhood kids.

He, himself, doubted Gray would be back.

"I didn't mean do you care about prom," he said to Lucy. "I mean—well, you know. About Gray."

Lucy directed her gaze across the street, to Miranda's abandoned shopping cart that stood next to Mrs. Angelakis's front steps. It was still partially filled with glass and plastic bottles heaped on top of a trash bag. "So, he just left," she said. It was a statement, but somehow sounded like a question. "Gray just ran for his car and he left."

"Yeah. He ran away like a little rabbit."

"I guess I don't care," Lucy said. But there was a catch in her voice, and she wouldn't look at Zach straight on, so he knew she was lying.

"He's not worth caring about," he told her. "He's in love with that new car of his."

Lucy said nothing. She stripped the ruined camellia off her wrist and tossed it to the ground. She moved to the shopping cart, and Zach followed her, staying by her side as she wheeled it over to the Markowitz house and parked it in the garage.

An idea came to Zach, and he blurted it out. "Luce? I'll take you to prom. You've got another dress you can make work, right? I have a suit. We'll ask Mrs. Angelakis for one of her tulips. And we'll just go."

With every word, he liked the idea more and more. Why not? It had to be better than lamb dinner with that Padraig Seeley character, with Soledad and Leo straining to be polite and Miranda's presence everywhere. "It'll be fun," he urged. "I promise to dance with you. Maybe you'll be able to forget about Miranda for a couple of hours. Plus, you'll show Gray."

At least Lucy was looking at him now.

"Come on," Zach said. "Why ruin your whole night?"

"What do you mean about showing Gray?" Lucy asked. "Do you think he went on to prom without me?"

Zach realized that he didn't know exactly what he'd meant.

Lucy bit her lip. Then she looked directly at Zach. "Okay. I lied before. I do like him. I was looking forward to tonight."

"Oh," said Zach.

"He was probably scared. Miranda's scary. And she threw a bottle at his new car. So he ran. But he's a nice guy, Zach. He truly is. I don't think he'd go to prom without me. Let's give him a chance. Maybe he'll call." She paused. "Although I could call him too. Why not?"

"What?" Zach was incredulous. "After he ran out like that? Luce!"

Lucy put her hands on her hips. "It was pretty scary, Zach. And Gray had no warning at all. I never told him anything about Miranda. If he'd known, he'd have acted more like you. Possibly."

Zach shook his head. "If you want to go, Luce, I'll take you. But let Gray be the one to call you. Let him be the one to apologize. If he's going to."

She shook her head. "I'll go call him now," she said. "And then we'll see." She turned and went back into the house before Zach had a chance to say another word.

Zach pushed both his hands through his hair and thought about pulling it all out. How could she still like that skinny, cowardly, drum-playing, girly-car-loving scumbag—

Wait.

The girly car appeared in the distance, down the street. Slowly, cautiously, it approached and pulled up to the curb in front of Mrs. Angelakis's. Even more slowly and cautiously, the skinny, cowardly, drum-playing, girly-car-loving scumbag, Gray Spencer, got out. His face was nearly as white as snow. But at least he was standing there, not twenty feet from Zach.

Lucy can't have had time to talk to him yet, Zach thought—just as Gray's cell phone went off in his pocket. He fumbled to answer it. And then Zach saw his face transform.

"Lucy!"

And then: "I'm already here. Right in front of your house. Look out the window."

And then: "Of course I came back. I had to. Lucy, I'm so sorry."

And then: "I want to know if you'll still go with me? Please?"

And then the skinny, cowardly, drum-playing, girly-car-loving scumbag was smiling like he'd won a million dollars.

Which he sort of had.

Zach suddenly burned to use up all the rest of Miranda's glass bottles, which were oh-so-conveniently located in the shopping cart right next to him, and remind Lucy how Gray looked running away. But of course he didn't. Instead, he walked over to Gray. "Why don't you wait outside this time?" It was the best he could do.

Twenty minutes later, Zach watched with Leo and Soledad and a smiling Padraig Seeley as Lucy, now wearing a black cotton peasant skirt paired with a dressy silver top borrowed from Soledad, plus the inevitable red high-tops, went off finally with Gray to prom.

CHAPTER 11

Some of the kids at their table were getting a little drunk. Not Gray, and not Lucy herself, because they were not drinking alcohol at all. But just about everybody else was. Jeff Mundy and a couple of his buddies had smuggled in vodka, and kept adding it to the punch. And then occasionally Jeff and the other guys and one or two of the girls would leave the table and go outside the hotel ballroom, and when they came back, Lucy would catch a glimpse of yet another flask in somebody's hand.

They were pretty insistent, the drinkers. Even Sarah, who had started out saying no, had caved under the pressure of Jeff's smile and his comment that she needed to relax. It made Lucy want to elbow her friend, hard. For one thing, did Sarah seriously think her parents wouldn't notice later on? They were hosting the after-party and let's face it, Sarah's parents were not exactly stupid. But that was Sarah for you. Supremely smart and savvy—except when it came to Jeff.

The chaperones were blind too, Lucy thought. Soledad would have a fit if she could see. But that didn't matter, not right now. What was important was that she was here with Gray—it now felt like against all odds—and, incredibly, Gray still liked her, even after finding out about Miranda. His apology for running had been completely sweet and sincere, and his gratitude for the second chance she'd given him had been transparently written on his face.

Lucy sneaked a glance at Gray. He had just asked her on a real date next week, to see a movie. Plus, he had said something about how he was going to be around all summer, was she?

She wondered if Gray truly didn't drink, or if he had been stopped on this occasion by Soledad's comments. Well, she would find out soon enough. He was going to be her boyfriend. She had decided. She was at prom with her very first real boyfriend, and she was going to manage much better than Sarah because she would never, never, never lose her head about him and do anything that wasn't perfectly sensible and well-planned. She would be the one in control.

And also, he had just shown her something valuable. Maybe she didn't need to be so afraid anymore of what people would think if they knew about Miranda. Maybe she could talk about it with people, as she just had, however briefly, with Gray.

Imagine that.

Lucy sipped her water. Under the table, she felt Gray take her hand, and hold it. She turned her fingers in his and squeezed back. His hand was so warm. Lucy felt her checks flush. He was cute, and nice. Hooray!

Lucy and Gray were the only ones at their table now. Everybody else was dancing or away somewhere. Lucy caught a glimpse of Sarah, her black dress swishing around her legs as she moved in Jeff's arms, her face blissful. Sarah had learned how to enjoy what she had when she had it. Maybe there was something to that part of Sarah's philosophy, Lucy thought. She could allow herself to forget about Miranda for, say, the rest of the night.

Because the evening wouldn't end even when the prom did. There was the after-party at Sarah's. It would be fun. The night would go on and on and on … glorious.

Gray bent close to Lucy. "Want to dance again?" he said.

Lucy nodded. The band was playing something slow now, something old-fashioned and wordless, but with a beat. On the dance floor, the lights were dim and she could just lean into Gray, lean in fully, have him wrap his arms around her, and it felt good.

Gray had his cheek right up against her neck. He was kissing her there. So warm, his lips. Warm like his hands. Softer than she would have thought. And she could tell he was just as uncertain, just as inexperienced, and just as hopeful as she was. Which was perfect.

Being held was wonder fill. Holding someone was wonderful. Being known and wanted for who you really were was wonderful. Lucy closed her eyes so she could appreciate it fully.

I must never forget this moment, she thought. My prom. And my boyfriend, who knows about my mother and still came back. My life, just getting started.

CHAPTER 12

Padraig Seeley had eventually left, but even though that had happened by ten o'clock—later than Zach had wanted, but earlier than he had feared—his departure hadn't given Zach much relief. Afterward, he'd helped Soledad and Leo clean up in the kitchen. They'd been fairly silent. Talked out, Zach guessed, after the enforced social time with Padraig. They were all still reeling from Miranda's attack.

But at least Soledad had then gone to bed, while Leo went down to the basement for a session on the treadmill. Zach could hear him pounding and knew he was running hard.

Padraig had asked all kinds of questions about Miranda and Lucy, and it had been so difficult to hear Leo and Soledad answer him. Zach wasn't sure why. He knew it was natural for Padraig to ask, after what he'd seen. He also knew it might have been rude for Leo and Soledad to refuse completely to answer. But he wished they had. He thought about it as he took Pierre for a walk around the night-quiet neighborhood. Afterward, he stood and watched while Pierre sniffed the trees and grass outside the house next door to the Markowitzes'. This was the house that he'd grown up in, but it was now home to a new family with three small children. In the shadowy night, it looked almost totally alien to Zach.

He found himself thinking again about Lucy. How happy and confident she had looked, settling into the MINI Cooper and zooming off with that loser. It was strange. Seeing her dressed up for the prom tonight—and also, seeing how upset she'd been after Miranda's attack—had caused something about how he viewed her to change. He wasn't sure he wanted to know exactly what it was, though. She was his buddy. That was the bottom line. He didn't like seeing Lucy hurt.

Speaking of which,
how
could she have forgiven that jerk?

As he came back inside the house, he found Leo, still sweaty from exercise, in the kitchen making a couple of mugs of tea. "Want some?" asked Leo.

"No, thanks." Zach was not a tea drinker.

"I'm hoping it will help Soledad sleep," Leo said.

"She's still up?"

"Yeah."

They both looked at the kitchen clock. Eleven fifty. The prom, which was at the Waltham Grand Park Hotel, officially ended at midnight. "Uh …" Zach tried to find a tactful way of saying it. "She knows Lucy won't be home from her after-prom party until probably dawn, right?"

"Yes, she knows." Leo frowned. "Listen. She went into Lucy's room and found out that Lucy forgot her cell phone. So she's fretting about that. And she also wonders … well, you remember what she was saying earlier? About you driving Lucy to the after-party?"

"Yeah, I remember," Zach said. Something like relief washed through him. "You still want me to do it?"

"Not exactly," said Leo. "Frankly, I think Lucy should be left alone to have a normal evening."

"Oh," Zach said.

"But Soledad wants you to go," Leo continued. "We decided it should be up to you. Are you willing? Would it be terribly uncomfortable for you to at least check up on Lucy?"

Zach didn't grin, but only because he thought it would be too obvious. "I'm on my way," he said.

CHAPTER 13

Girls and boys in glamorous dresses and tuxedos were pouring slowly through the lobby and out into the parking lot of the hotel, talking and laughing and heading to cars and limos and, eventually, to their various after-prom parties. "You all know how to direct the drivers to my place, right?" yelled Sarah Hebert over her shoulder at their group of friends, which included Gray and Lucy. She giggled, sending a second glance at Gray. "At least we don't have to worry about you guys."

"I wasn't going to risk my new car," said Gray mildly. "Or Lucy. Not only am I sober, but I'll be driving like a little old lady." He stopped suddenly. "Wait. I think I left the keys back on the table." He grabbed Lucy's arm. "Let's go back."

"Okay." Lucy allowed herself to be turned around. She and Gray struggled against the tide of the other kids as they worked their way back through the lobby and up the wide curving main staircase toward the ballroom. By the time they reached the top of the stairs, the upper hallway was nearly deserted. And the ballroom itself was entirely so.

The ballroom looked so different, Lucy thought, emptied of all the people who had been there only ten minutes before. The main lights were almost all turned off, and in the dimness, there was still a lingering aura of romance. But sadness, too. The big empty room echoed their footsteps as they walked across the dance floor.

Actually, the room now looked more sad than romantic, Lucy decided. It even looked a little sordid in the half-light. She noted the stains on the white tablecloths, the overturned glasses, the abandoned cloth napkins on tables and the floor, the spots on some of the metal stackable chairs where the paint had worn off. Abandoned, the room looked like what it really was: not a true ballroom, but a big, tired old function room that had seen many hard years of weddings, proms, graduations, and bar mitzvahs.

Lucy had turned in the direction of their table in the far corner, when Gray touched her arm. "Lucy. Stop. I already have the keys."

"Oh, you found them?" They were standing at the end of the dance floor, near the cloakroom, a few steps from where the sea of tables began.

"I didn't actually forget them," Gray confessed. He slid a sly grin at Lucy. "I just had—I don't know. An impulse. I wanted to come back here. I needed to. I wanted to be alone with you. Immediately. I just couldn't resist."

"Oh," Lucy said. She felt a blush start on her cheeks.

"Come here," Gray said, and pulled her into the small abandoned cloakroom. "Let's be alone for a little while, before we have to go be with all those other people at Sarah's. I've wanted to be alone with you so much. I've hated having everybody else around. I've been dying here, to tell you the truth. Couldn't you tell?"

Lucy couldn't, no. She looked at Gray. He was a few inches taller than she was, and standing close, she needed to look up. His hand on her arm felt suddenly heavy. She thought of him kissing her neck earlier, when they danced.

Her blush increased.

"Come here?" Gray said again, quietly. He held out his arms. His face was all intense.

Too intense. Lucy had an inappropriate urge to giggle. She suppressed it. She didn't think Gray would appreciate her laughing right now. But after all, it was only a kiss. Even if it would be her first real kiss.

She moved closer and tilted her face up to Gray's.

"Put your arms around me," he whispered.

Lucy realized suddenly that she didn't actually want to do that. There was an alarmed feeling knotting itself inside her.

She put her arms up around Gray's shoulders anyway. His arms closed around her, one at her back, the other lower, a band around her hips. His face hovered above hers. And then he was kissing her. Those soft lips again. Gentle. Gentle.

And then not so gentle.

Later, Lucy knew she had said no. She said it several times; she screamed it against his hand, which was covering her mouth. And she screamed for help, which never came. And she fought, as hard as she could. That, also, had been a terrifying shock, because if anyone had asked her ahead of time about her own strength, she would have had confidence in it. After all, she was an athlete. She was a good hurdler and a decent runner. She could do twenty boy-style pushups. She had even taken kickboxing classes. And, too, she would have said that Gray wasn't strong. He was a skinny band geek, for crying out loud. She would have thought that of course she could fight Gray Spencer, any day, and win.

But she could not.

At the end, when Gray was done but she was still pinned down and helpless, there came the most terrible moment of all. Gray looked straight into Lucy's face. And she looked up, stunned, terror-stricken, into his.

It was Gray. His hair. His nose. His mouth. His cheekbones and his very pale skin. Lucy recognized him. But looking out at her through his eyes …

It wasn't Gray Spencer at all. That made no sense, but Lucy felt the truth of it to her bones. It was someone else, using his body.

There was worse to come. The somebody-who-was-not-Gray spoke a single fluid sentence of vowels and consonants. The sentence was rhythmic and beautiful, but it was not English or any other language that Lucy could recognize.

Then the somebody-who-was-not-Gray smiled. "Fenella," he called Lucy, still using that same alien cadence. And in English: "I win. Again, you see. I always win."

And then he laughed.