Impact (17 page)

“I’m sorry, man. I wish I could help you. I wish I had a solution.”

Conner snorted. “Me too, man. Me too.”

* * * * *

Jessica arrived at the arena and went to the ready room to grab her stuff before heading out into the stall area to start work for the day. She noticed a slip of paper on top of her pile of papers. It was from her boss, Wallace Smith, the livestock superintendent. The note asked her to come see him immediately. Her brows knit together in confusion. Usually Wallace left her and Ryan alone on competition days because he knew how busy they got.

What could he want now? Had some contractor complained about her? She had a lot of work to do, so she grabbed her laptop and her folders, shoving everything into her bag and heaving it onto her shoulder, and then went in search of Wallace. She found him in the office area. She was surprised to see Aaron Jackson sitting in the other guest chair. Looking at Wallace, she said, “You asked to see me?”

“Sit down, Jessica.” He indicated a folding chair in front of him. He wasn’t smiling, which wasn’t a good sign. Wallace was an old-school type, but had the manners of a Southern gentleman and had always treated her kindly.

Glancing at Aaron and then back at him, she asked, “What is this about?”

Wallace shifted, not meeting her gaze at first. Finally, he looked at her. “We’ve received some…disturbing reports.”

“About what?”

“About a relationship you’ve been engaging in with one of the riders.”

She looked from one man to the other. “Excuse me?”

Wallace spoke. “Someone has come forward to express their concerns regarding the nature of a possible sexual relationship,” Jessica’s face flamed as Wallace continued to speak, “you and Conner Raub are involved in.”

“C-concerns? What concerns? And who expressed them?”

Aaron cut in then. “We’re not at liberty to say. So you don’t deny you and Mr. Raub are involved?”

A million thoughts raced through her head and her first instinct was to do just that, but she knew how foolish it would be. Whoever had “expressed these concerns” obviously knew about their relationship and to deny it now would look even more damning. “No sir, I don’t, but I don’t understand what bearing my personal life has on my job or why someone would express concerns about it.”

Aaron assessed her and she tried not to squirm under his scrutiny. “Jessica, you work directly with the stock contractors, do you not?”

“Yes sir, but—”

Aaron held up his hand and Jessica fell silent, dread settling over her body like a heavy veil.

“Did you ever consider that dating Mr. Raub might present a conflict of interest on your part?”

Jessica’s mouth dropped open. “How—”

Again, Aaron silenced her. “As a hypothetical situation, let’s say there was a particular bull Mr. Raub doesn’t want to ride for one reason or another. It doesn’t matter why for this example. Do you or do you not have the power to disqualify that bull from competition?”

“I would never—”

“Do you or do you not have the power to disqualify that bull from competition, Jessica?”

“Not directly, but yes,” she whispered. It had never occurred to her someone might accuse her of fixing results. Her career was ruined, she could feel it. Nausea bubbled up from her stomach and she wrapped her arms around herself.

“Now, we’re not saying you’ve actually done anything wrong, Jessica,” Wallace told her, “but given these allegations, we have no choice but to suspend you with pay pending an investigation.”

“I understand, sir.” Tears she couldn’t hold back began to stream down her face. “I want both of you to know, I didn’t do anything wrong. It never occurred to me to do something like that—I would never…” She broke off as the tears threatened to overwhelm her. Turning away from the men, she hastily wiped at her eyes. “What can I expect now? What should I do?”

“Go ahead and make arrangements to go back home for now,” Wallace replied. “We’ll conduct our investigation. We hope it won’t take more than a few days, and we’ll contact you to let you know the results.” She nodded, not trusting herself to speak anymore. Shooting out of her chair, she began to leave the room. “Jessica? I’m going to need you to leave your computer and papers here.”

Looking down, she realized she was clutching her shoulder bag. Dropping it, she dug her small purse out and fled. What had begun as one of the best days of her life had quickly turned into a nightmare. She was in love with Conner, and now she had no job. Before she processed what she was doing, she’d gone back to the hotel, packed, checked out and caught a cab to the airport.

It wasn’t until she was there and standing outside security with no ticket that she realized she had no idea where she wanted to go. Sinking into a chair, she pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, laying her head on her knees. Rocking back and forth, she succumbed to the tears. She wasn’t sure how long she cried, but no one made any attempt to speak with her. Finally, drying her eyes with her sleeve, she sat up. She wanted to go home—really home—to her daddy’s ranch. Dragging herself to her feet, she walked blindly until she reached an airline ticket counter, where she bought a one-way ticket to Amarillo, Texas. From there she’d rent a car and drive to her daddy’s ranch. It would be quicker than waiting for the puddle-jumper to Lubbock.

After going through security and making her way to her gate she knew she should call Conner soon. He might’ve noticed her absence by now and be worried, but she didn’t have the strength. Once she landed in Amarillo maybe she’d be up to it, but right now she felt as if she’d been scraped raw. She couldn’t handle another emotional scene, and she knew Conner would hit the roof when he heard what the NBT had done. He had a bull to ride tonight and the last thing he needed was to fly off the handle. Turning off her cell phone, she closed her eyes to wait for her flight.

But when she reached Amarillo she didn’t call him either. With each passing minute she dreaded the conversation more and she simply couldn’t make herself dial the phone. When she finally reached her daddy’s ranch, it was nearly ten o’clock at night. Her parents were surprised to see her, but she told them she couldn’t answer their questions that night and went to bed. In the back of her mind she knew Conner would be worried sick by now and livid as well, but nonetheless she fell into an exhausted sleep the minute her head hit the pillow in her old childhood room.

* * * * *

“Where the fuck is she?” Conner roared, lifting Ryan off the floor and shoving him against the wall.

“I told you, I don’t know, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you,” Ryan shot back, his arms scrabbling along Conner’s to try to break his hold.

“Let him go, man,” Brady said. “I don’t think the little weasel knows anything. He’s not worth it.”

Panting heavily, Conner shoved Ryan against the wall, enunciating every syllable and speaking slowly to make sure the asshole understood him clearly. “If I hear you were the one who went to the NBT with this ridiculous goddamn story and got her suspended, there won’t be a place on Earth where you can hide, you hear me?” Conner turned and threw Ryan away. The smaller man landed a few feet from him and swung around.

“What if I was? You can’t deny you were fucking her.”

Brady caught Conner as he lunged for Ryan again, and one of the other riders grabbed Ryan, hauling him toward the door. The other rider said to Ryan, “You best leave now before he decides to make good on that promise, boy. I doubt anyone here would step in to stop him.”

With one final glare at Conner, Ryan left. Spinning to Brady, Conner said, “He told them, I fuckin’
know
he did. He wants her.”

“He probably did, but what’s done is done, and finding Jessica is your priority right now.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose to try to ward off the headache threatening to make his brain explode, Conner nodded. “I know, but she won’t pick up her damn phone, so how am I supposed to know where the fuck she went?”

“Let’s look at this logically. She lives in Dallas, right?”

“Yeah, but she never told me what her address or phone number there was. It never came up.”

“She probably went there, though. Somebody around here must know.”

“Sure, but who’s gonna give it to me?”

“Maybe they won’t give it to you, but how about if I try? I can say I’m a friend who’s worried about her.”

“Dude, everyone knows we’re tight. They’ll see right through that.”

“Well, maybe I’ll have to flirt a little.” Brady smiled and Conner tried to smile back, but he was sure it came out as more of a grimace.

“Have at it. I’m willing to try anything at this point.”

“All right. You stay here and cool your heels and I’ll be back in a little while. Don’t do anything crazy and promise me you won’t kill anyone.”

“I won’t kill anyone.”

“Seriously, man. That little shit Ryan ain’t worth jail time.”

“I know,” Conner grumbled. “But I
am
going to kick the shit outta that fucker after I shake him down until he confesses he was the one who blew us in.” He looked down and saw his fists were clenching and unclenching. Just the thought someone would so callously ruin someone else’s life because they were jealous made him see red. And it wasn’t like he’d ruined Conner’s life; he’d ruined Jessica’s—the woman Conner was convinced Ryan was in love with. Nice way to show it.

Brady nodded. “Once this is all over and you’ve found Jess I’ll even help create a diversion so you can have a private chat with him, but now is not the time.”

“Go.” Conner jerked his head toward the door. “I’ll be a good boy while you’re gone.” Brady left and Conner began to pace. He called Jessica’s cell phone again and snarled when her voicemail picked up.

Where are you, Jessie girl? When I get ahold of you I’m gonna paddle your ass long and hard for just disappearing like this.

His cock stirred at the thought. He felt like a sick fuck for getting turned-on when he was so worried about her, but he remembered how she’d responded that night he’d spanked her—it had been something he’d never experienced before.

He resumed pacing. What if she didn’t answer her phone in Dallas? What then? He knew the answer even as he formed the question. This morning he’d been confused and unsure about what to do about Jessica, but her disappearance had made one thing crystal fucking clear—he didn’t want to live without her. He
couldn’t
live without her. Now he needed to track her down and convince her, but he had no freaking idea how. This was new territory for him. He didn’t know the first thing about declaring himself to a woman.

He was still mulling over that frightening thought when Brady strode back into the room and handed him a sheet of paper. “I need a shower to wash off the ick of what I just had to do, so she better be there.”

Conner looked at his friend. “Thanks, man.”

Brady nodded. “You would’ve done the same for me. Call her.”

Turning away, Conner pulled out his phone. Reading the number, he punched it in. It rang and rang, and he cursed soundly as the noise continued, mocking him. “She’s either not there or not answering.” His shoulders slumped.

He felt Brady’s hand touch his back just for a second before it was gone. “Let’s get on the road then.”

Chapter Ten

Thankfully the next event was slated for Arlington, Texas, outside of Dallas, so it wasn’t out of their way. Conner would’ve hopped on a plane without a second thought, but he was glad to have Brady along for support. They were on the road in less than twenty minutes after throwing their stuff back in the trailer haphazardly and gassing up. Conner continued to call both Jessica’s cell and home numbers, but gave up as the time crept past one in the morning. They finally pulled into the parking lot at the arena at a little after four and turned in to get a couple of hours of sleep. Conner woke at nine, walked to a coffee shop near the arena, grabbed a large coffee and started calling Jessica again. When she didn’t answer, he returned to the trailer. Brady was coming out of the bathroom, hair damp from his shower.

“Do you mind if I take the trailer and go over to her place?”

“Of course not, I expected it. You want me to come with or would you rather go alone? I can grab some breakfast if you wanna go by yourself.” He pulled a t-shirt over his head and grabbed a pair of jeans out of his duffel bag as he spoke.

“I think I’d rather go alone. That way if she’s there I don’t have to worry about getting you back in time to register.”

Brady slid his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans and sat down to pull on his cowboy boots. “Okay. Just call me if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Brady grabbed his gear bag and a duffel bag that he’d obviously packed while Conner had been gone and left the trailer. Conner punched Jessica’s address in Denton into the GPS and got under way. Her place was about forty minutes away and much closer to the city of Dallas than his ranch in Boyd. At least they were on the same side of the metropolitan area, otherwise it could easily be a couple-hour trip to see her given the traffic.

Merging onto Route 35 East, he tried to come up with what he wanted to say if he did find her. Everything he came up with involved far too many swear words and threats of punishment though, so finally he gave up and hoped he could keep his temper under control.